How often do you feel it’s time to relocate cities? (Also my Midwest rant)

[Jarrod_Uncut]

Asking from a point of providers particularly, but others can chime. 
 

I feel I am just so ready to leave my current market for good. Now that the seasons are changing, I’m not even looking forward to spending another winter in this part of the country (I guess would be considered lower Midwest/heartland:

 

In my case, I am so over and tired of my current state and the surrounding locations…I can’t even think about anything else but a way to relocate. Last month I went out to Arizona for a week, and even though it isn’t perfect (the heat, congestion, and biz in Phoenix wasn’t great this time around but I had enough bookings to make it worthwhile) I just felt so much different and relieved to see different things; Palm Trees, mountains, more diverse people and Latino (sadly I didn’t get to hookup with any but I had 1 or 2 who were supposed to come by).

Meanwhile, in the boring Missouri Midwest…I am fed up and over this shit. Even though I’m “close” to many major cities and International airports, in reality things are still much further than say; Phoenix and Tucson, Miami to Fort Lauderdale, or the Los Angeles, San Diego, Las Vegas triangle. I’m logging mega miles going between relatively medium sized cities, and I’m not even getting to go as often. Towns like Omaha, Des Moines are good for a couple days, but then you go thru the client base within those 2 days. And it’s too far to travel to every week.

Also the problem with the Midwest, and specially Missouri: Once you leave Saint Louis and Kansas City (and very rarely Springfield), there’s no opportunity for A) Gay socializing and B) Male sex work. Like in Illinois: once outside of Chicago, it is surrounded by some very conservative locations where there’s little or no opportunity to make connections. 

I was even exploring Northwest Arkansas area which is just 3-4 hours south of Kansas City. I’ve gone about 3-4 times, and now I’m just over it. I get hits but then they don’t follow thru. I’ve met 2 or 3 good clients, but places like Eureka Springs which is supposedly the “ San Francisco of the Midwest/ozarks” whatever…there’s like 5 guys on Adam4Adam there, and it doesn’t even register on the RentMen and Rentmasseur as a City to advertise in. And some potential clients in Arkansas are pretty much flakes, like this guy who just completely stood me up, despite having numerous apparent good reviews by other providers (except for one). I tried leaving him a bad review, but I guess RentMen changed it to where providers can’t leave reviews for clients now:

https://rent.men/Shanestur
 

I just don’t get these people. Some of the clients in the Midwest even come off a little bigoted, like they just don’t give a fuck about me or my business. Like I have to argue with some of them about how I do business…like keeping appointments that they claim they never made, and me collecting a deposit. Well, you’d collect a deposit too if the first time you came to Kansas City, someone played for a whole week like they were going to come see you, right down to giving YOUR hotel name and room, and they go mysteriously silent. Or 2 clients contacted you around noon in Saint Louis, and you went and spent $90 on a hotel, and neither one showed up. And you didn’t need the hotel otherwise, nor did you ever get your money back because it was prepaid via Priceline. Wouldn’t you want to get a deposit? My point exactly.

It just really gets on my nerves dealing with these guys. I’m so over the Midwest, and just looking for a new city, in a new state, and not HAVE to travel so far to other cities because the one I’m in, is so bland of opportunity. 

Edited September 30, 2021 by Jarrod_Uncut

[+ Lucky]

@Jarrod_UncutYou wouldn't be the first person to tire of the Midwest. With winter approaching, I'd get out now. That's what I did years ago and I have never looked back.

Your post is excellent, and a good geography lesson.

[+ Charlie]

"The grass is always greener somewhere else..." (well, sometimes it actually is)

[Jarrod_Uncut]

6 hours ago, Lucky said:

@Jarrod_UncutYou wouldn't be the first person to tire of the Midwest. With winter approaching, I'd get out now. That's what I did years ago and I have never looked back.

Your post is excellent, and a good geography lesson.

Where in the Midwest did you live? I appreciate some aspects of it, but I’m just so tired of the bullshit. Like I can be in Indy, Chicago, Milwaukee, Nashville, or even Dallas all within a day. And have done it (driving). But it’s still far. And being it’s not places I can just go for a day and turn back around like some cities in Florida were, I have to pack up and plan to stay longer if needed. 

[Shawn Monroe]

So in this post we don’t consider Oklahoma the Midwest. 
 

“Is Oklahoma the south or the Midwest” is one of my favorite questions to ask where no answer is wrong. 
 

anyway I’ll come back to this cause you know I had to leave Texas, and then depending on if you think Oklahoma is the Midwest, I had to leave there too. 

[Jarrod_Uncut]

29 minutes ago, Shawn Monroe said:

So in this post we don’t consider Oklahoma the Midwest. 
 

“Is Oklahoma the south or the Midwest” is one of my favorite questions to ask where no answer is wrong. 
 

anyway I’ll come back to this cause you know I had to leave Texas, and then depending on if you think Oklahoma is the Midwest, I had to leave there too. 

lol I think Missouri falls into that category as well. “Midwest” is a relatively new term: back in the 1500s you either had the South, the North, and Mexico lol. Later, western came about. But not sure how much later Midwest came into play.

Washington DC and Saint Louis are also one of those weird “sorta north, sorta south” cities…as you can see from the map. I find places like that you never know what you’re going to get. Like with DC: it’s definitely north considered to Atlanta or Florida. But it still has a bit of a southern “vibe” to it. Not to mention, the convenience of having the nations Capitol there, seems to coincide moreso with it being southern…considering Virginia was a big trade state back in the day 😒 

Why did you leave Texas and Oklahoma anyhow? 

Edited September 30, 2021 by Jarrod_Uncut

[Alex93108]

 

I agree with the grass is always greener comment . 

 

- How loyal is your client base and are you prepared to start over ? 

 

- Before i started taking a risk in my life to do what i do now , I tested the landscape. What i would advise you to do is experiment - pick places where you want to live and try it out with the option of coming back

Hiring requires a certain amount of disposable income , my advice would be to pick communities that are wealthy that are underserved that you like . I was in Santa Fe NM last month and was surprised how few talent there is there given the number of wealthy people that have homes there who would hire . 

[Jarrod_Uncut]

3 hours ago, jetlow said:

 

I agree with the grass is always greener comment . 

 

- How loyal is your client base and are you prepared to start over ? 

 

- Before i started taking a risk in my life to do what i do now , I tested the landscape. What i would advise you to do is experiment - pick places where you want to live and try it out with the option of coming back

Hiring requires a certain amount of disposable income , my advice would be to pick communities that are wealthy that are underserved that you like . I was in Santa Fe NM last month and was surprised how few talent there is there given the number of wealthy people that have homes there who would hire . 

Excellent point: I was actually just there last month and earlier this year: I actually even thought about moving myself. But, even though I like New Mexico, something is missing there for me. I feel after awhile, I could get a bit “fatigued” of hatch green Chile and long droughts…not to mention despite the wealthy population, crime in Albuquerque and Santa Fe is unusually common for such an “enchanted” state (on my last visit, some lady grabbed my passenger side door handle and tried to get in…at night. Coulda been a mixup but…this was at a hotel off Cerillos, and she literally ran to my car off the street.

But.. that’s by no means criticizing it because I’ve really grown to like Santa Fe. I used to like Albuquerque more, but I’ve found it’s gotten so slow over the years, I find myself skipping it in favor of Santa Fe. 
 

As for client base: you would think that by staying in an area for awhile, the client “base” would grow…but it’s not that way. If anything, the longer I stay in Kansas City and Saint Louis, the smaller the pool gets. I just had to tell one guy in KC that I’ve met before (back in December, because he’s full of shit and misses me every time) to fuck off today because he refuses, refuses….. REFUSES to follow my instructions given over 1 billion times, that 1. I am not up at 7 a.m. taking calls, and he needs to put in some sort of planning…not calling me out the blue asking if I’m available “now”, because I don’t operate like that. Then when I reach back out to him, he plays busy or doesn’t respond. Then had the audacity to send me a picture of a bunch of money he’s holding…as if that means half a fuck about how serious a client he is 🤦🏽‍♂️ 

I end up having to tell people this here over and over again, and at this point I’m just like…fuck whatever base I have left because, this shit is not worth dealing with out here. They want to contact at the last minute, but then don’t want to come or be available during the time I tell them I’m open. 

Edited October 1, 2021 by Jarrod_Uncut

[edinbrooklyn]

Hard to know the ideal place to live. Brooklyn has been very good to me for 20 plus years (closing in on 30) but a bit shitty now in many ways.

[Storm4U]

Every day 

[BabyBoomer]

2 minutes ago, Storm4U said:

Every day 

Best response so far. 😃

~Boomer~

[jeezifonly]

When a client sees only one provider with frequency and regularity, as well as generosity, that’s called being kept, isn’t it? A rare situation outside of a soprano with a cough…

I think men in general want variety and “the new” in the realm of intimate companionship and eventually providers in one location will be known to most local clients, perhaps even regulars, who offer predictability. But there’s a percentage of all men (straight and gay) who simply want to “get some strange”, and some pay handsomely for it. It’s a natural frustration of the providing business, gay or straight, in anything but the largest of cities. Some guys flit around all over the country or continent in the pursuit of being “strange”and that gypsy life suits them. For others, a deeper sense of home is essential for mental health. Sometimes hard choices, I’m sure. 

 

[Jarrod_Uncut]

15 hours ago, edinbrooklyn said:

Hard to know the ideal place to live. Brooklyn has been very good to me for 20 plus years (closing in on 30) but a bit shitty now in many ways.

I have to confess: I’ve never worked or been to New York City before lol. This is from a guy who’s been to all 48 main states except Maine, New Hampshire and Vermont. And New York State and the general northeast is still a bit uncharted to me (though I’m excited to try Buffalo this month).

What is shitty about Brooklyn? From a base observation: it seems like it was once maybe a “thuggish” area of NYC (based on hip hop lyrics lol), but seems to have become the next Manhattan now?

 

[Jarrod_Uncut]

6 hours ago, jeezifonly said:

When a client sees only one provider with frequency and regularity, as well as generosity, that’s called being kept, isn’t it? A rare situation outside of a soprano with a cough…

I think men in general want variety and “the new” in the realm of intimate companionship and eventually providers in one location will be known to most local clients, perhaps even regulars, who offer predictability. But there’s a percentage of all men (straight and gay) who simply want to “get some strange”, and some pay handsomely for it. It’s a natural frustration of the providing business, gay or straight, in anything but the largest of cities. Some guys flit around all over the country or continent in the pursuit of being “strange”and that gypsy life suits them. For others, a deeper sense of home is essential for mental health. Sometimes hard choices, I’m sure. 

 

Re: the Gypsy life, it is hard. I live a mix of the Gypsy life and home life. Somewhat a hybrid. I’ll be gone sometimes a week, to upwards of a couple months. But the travel life is hard on the “soul”  after a few weeks. With traveling, it’s hard to get things “done”. All I can do when traveling is: see clients, shop, watch TV at the hotel, and gym. Meanwhile; there’s plants at home needing maintenance, mail to be opened and packages waiting for delivery. Friends I need to catch up with. I’ve mastered being able to maintain a good diet and exercise routine when traveling, but the constant going out to eat can do a number on my digestive system lol. But that’s why some days I’ll get a air bnb or hotel with a kitchen, so I get a few meals from a grocery store that usually WON’T make me sick. 

 

 

Edited October 2, 2021 by Jarrod_Uncut

[+ E.T.Bass]

Sometimes I think about leaving my crazy train job and leaving the rat race where I live.  But I am less and less inclined to try the Midwest again.

Hearing about your frequency of flaky clients reminds me why perhaps some providers don't try to follow through with responding to my texts. I get it. They have no way of knowing I'm the real deal.

But yeah, I think a lot about getting out of Dodge.  I use to ponder about San Diego.  One can try I suppose, and then reverse course.

Are there mid size cities emerging due to affordability? Nashville? Pittsburgh? Charlotte? Boise?  Portland?

 

Good luck with your decision.

Edited October 2, 2021 by E.T.Bass
Sp

[+ FrankR]

2 hours ago, E.T.Bass said:

Sometimes I think about leaving my crazy train job and leaving the rat race where I live.  But I am less and less inclined to try the Midwest again.

Hearing about your frequency of flaky clients reminds me why perhaps some providers don't try to follow through with responding to my texts. I get it. They have no way of knowing I'm the real deal.

But yeah, I think a lot about getting out of Dodge.  I use to ponder about San Diego.  One can try I suppose, and then reverse course.

Are there mid size cities emerging due to affordability? Nashville? Pittsburgh? Charlotte? Boise?  Portland?

 

Good luck with your decision.

I’ve spent a lot of time in some of the cities you mentioned. Nashville is really not affordable anymore - real estate prices are crazy and traffic is horrible, as an example. It pays to visit and see for yourself. Pittsburgh or Charlotte would be better choices. Also add Greenville, SC and Albuquerque, NM. Just my 2 cents…😏

[Jamie21]

Sitting here in London getting a geography lesson - interesting! 

What surprises me is the travel you guys are prepared to do. Here London to Manchester takes about 4 hours to drive (200 miles). It’s a different market (and seems well served). I’d never visit a client there or do a tour; it’s too far away and I don’t need to go there anyway for business. I think if I wanted a change of scene I’d go to somewhere like Amsterdam or Barcelona. 

[Alex93108]

5 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

Sitting here in London getting a geography lesson - interesting! 

What surprises me is the travel you guys are prepared to do. Here London to Manchester takes about 4 hours to drive (200 miles). It’s a different market (and seems well served). I’d never visit a client there or do a tour; it’s too far away and I don’t need to go there anyway for business. I think if I wanted a change of scene I’d go to somewhere like Amsterdam or Barcelona. 

@Jamie21i know some young pretty London boys that do travel at clients expense. Mykonos, Mallorca and Ibiza seem to be the places (and its seasonal ), I'm guessing 2-3 days. I have also seen them been taken to Dubai and India ( Delhi & Bombay/Mumbai) , for multi day trips. A few boys shared with a group of 2-3 guys. Sounds exhausting to me.

The kind of hiring is do is 1-3 hours alone time with 1 guy. That to me is much more intimate. 

 

Edited October 2, 2021 by jetlow

[Jamie21]

Ah yes I was in Mykonos a few weeks ago. Unfortunately not at a clients expense lol. It was however with a former client who has now become a friend. He paid when we went last year but I wanted to pay my own way this time (although he picked up all the restaurant bills and the cost of sunbeds on the beach!). It’s potentially awkward when a client becomes a friend…has only happened this one time but seems to have worked!

We did see a few young guys with obviously older guys who looked like escort /clients. Lucky boys lol. 

[Alex93108]

56 minutes ago, Jamie21 said:

Ah yes I was in Mykonos a few weeks ago. Unfortunately not at a clients expense lol. It was however with a former client who has now become a friend. He paid when we went last year but I wanted to pay my own way this time (although he picked up all the restaurant bills and the cost of sunbeds on the beach!). It’s potentially awkward when a client becomes a friend…has only happened this one time but seems to have worked!

We did see a few young guys with obviously older guys who looked like escort /clients. Lucky boys lol. 

Very decent of you. I have a provider relationship ( in London)  that I hope to similarly transition, I don't know if he's open to it, but I will suggest it.  I actually enjoy talking to him more than the actual sex and appointment bit. There are some people that you just click more on a friend level than sexual level. 

 But I have heard of this happening before we are human after all. 

[Jamie21]

14 minutes ago, jetlow said:

Very decent of you. I have a provider relationship ( in London)  that I hope to similarly transition, I don't know if he's open to it, but I will suggest it.  I actually enjoy talking to him more than the actual sex and appointment bit. There are some people that you just click more on a friend level than sexual level. 

 But I have heard of this happening before we are human after all. 

Good luck with that! 
I wish I was back in Mykonos now…it’s cold dark and wet today here in London. 

[Shawn Monroe]

On 9/30/2021 at 3:34 PM, Jarrod_Uncut said:

Why did you leave Texas and Oklahoma anyhow? 

Both times for my career. 

I left texas because I was more so thrown out. I got laid off, couldn’t find an acceptable position within my salary range in Houston or dallas, and most places in other cities wanted you to live there. I had a colleague in OKC and she brought me on and it worked out. 
 

that’s also when I became a provider.
 

OKC was a decent city and had a little money because of oil and gas. It was also decent for travel as a provider; austin, dallas, Houston, San Antonio, Little Rock, Tulsa, @Jarrod_Uncut’s KCMO were all in a days drive. 
 

but I knew if I was to continue my career it wouldn’t be in OKC so I had to start looking elsewhere. 
 

this time, I did take being a provider into account with the city I was going to move to. While I love Seattle, it’s expensive, not diverse, and you can only drive to Vancouver or Portland. LA was over saturated. 
 

so ATL was the place with enough upward mobility in my career, diversity, with a good airport, and enough business as a provider, with enough cities in a days drive away. 

 

[Alex93108]

I’m surprised not a lot of people looking at Santa Fe NM ( lots of money there )  , or even Phoenix but that might be over saturated too 

[+ Pensant]

20 hours ago, jetlow said:

I’m surprised not a lot of people looking at Santa Fe NM ( lots of money there )  , or even Phoenix but that might be over saturated too 

Problem is that Santa Fe is a very small town, so the client base isn’t big. Phoenix is big but not all that affluent. For example, Nashville has a higher per capita income.

[+ Pensant]

21 hours ago, Shawn Monroe said:

Both times for my career. 

I left texas because I was more so thrown out. I got laid off, couldn’t find an acceptable position within my salary range in Houston or dallas, and most places in other cities wanted you to live there. I had a colleague in OKC and she brought me on and it worked out. 
 

that’s also when I became a provider.
 

OKC was a decent city and had a little money because of oil and gas. It was also decent for travel as a provider; austin, dallas, Houston, San Antonio, Little Rock, Tulsa, @Jarrod_Uncut’s KCMO were all in a days drive. 
 

but I knew if I was to continue my career it wouldn’t be in OKC so I had to start looking elsewhere. 
 

this time, I did take being a provider into account with the city I was going to move to. While I love Seattle, it’s expensive, not diverse, and you can only drive to Vancouver or Portland. LA was over saturated. 
 

so ATL was the place with enough upward mobility in my career, diversity, with a good airport, and enough business as a provider, with enough cities in a days drive away. 

 

Seattle has actually become far more diverse over the past decade. It is a strange market, though.