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Is it OK to invite someone to a party, not tell them it's for your birthday?


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My beau "Chris" is planning a big birthday bash for me in the not-too-distant future. Both of us will be having friends come over for the afternoon pool-party type event. I've become very friendly with my neighbors (we take good care of each other), and would feel somewhat awkward not inviting them (our normally quiet street will be quite lively), but I don't want to come across as looking for presents, which I most certainly am not. Should I invite them to the party, but not tell them it's for my birthday? Or should I say it's for my birthday, but request no presents? All of my neighbors, of course, both gay and straight, are well aware that "Chris" and I sleep together. I will have friends coming from hundreds of miles away, and there will be birthday-type festivities, but I'd feel embarrassed if my neighbors bought me presents. What do you suggest?

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Choose a couple of charities and include links on the invitation. To your Birthday Party. 

”This chance to gather is all the present I want this year, so no gifts please. But I will instead recommend making donations of your choosing to one of these organizations I support.

And if you are not vaccinated against Covid keep your sorry ass home”

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Come on Unicorn, you KNOW the answer.....   HONESTY is always the best policy especially in dealing with mature adults.    This is NOT a kids party, and it appears from all your stories that you are a man of means, so WHAT could you possibly need  that you cant provide for yourself ?

And for many on the guest list, shopping for gifts can be puzzling or time consuming and might might appreciate NOT having to....  The point is to celebrate with caring, loving people who have place in your heart and life....

So TELL THEM no gifts, and "get your party on".....   then if they choose to, they can bring a little "hostess gift"...  like a "bottle"..... which you can then SHARE with them.

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Thanks for the info. I'll let them know. And thanks for the reminder @jeezifonly to exclude the unvaccinated. I know all of my neighbors are, as are my friend's and Chris's, but good to remind any plus one's, bartender. We're going to Switzerland later in August, and the last thing I want is for one or both of us to test positive and have this carefully-planned trip cancelled. 

Edited by Unicorn
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I've included the line "your presence is the only present required" or some such when inviting people. It is along the same line as GUEST: "What can I bring?" HOST: "Yourself and a guest."

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10 hours ago, azdr0710 said:

but do you have that retaining wall fixed??!!.....wouldn't want to have a bad accident in the middle of the pool party! 

tenor.gif

The scarier part is that there isn't a fence on the wall, and it's a 5 foot drop to the lower part of the back yard. I'm finally getting estimates for that work. We'll have to warn the guests about the hazard. Amazingly, in the over 25 years that have passed since celebrity owners owned this property and built that pool, no one's thought of doing that! Until after I bought the place, there were also no rails on the staircases leading down to the lower yard, either (two other owners in between). It was quite a chore just to be able to get estimates for the project. Before I could even get architectural plans, I first had to get a soils and engineering report, and before I could get that, I had to get a topographical report. I've submitted the plans to 4 constructions firms, still waiting for my first bid! The pool's great, though, now with inflatables of our two alter-egos: the unicorn and flamingo... The invitations to the neighbors are out, as per prior posters' recommendations.

Amazon.com: Large Unicorn Inflatable Pool Float Pool Floatie Swimming Pool  Party Toys Ride-on Raft Lounge Swimming Pool Toys for Kids Adults Summer  Blow Up Beach Float Mega Island Water Toys: Sports &Intex Mega Flamingo, Inflatable Island, 86in X 83in X 53.5in, Pink, Mega  Float (56288EP) - Walmart.com - Walmart.com

 

Edited by Unicorn
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  • + sam.fitzpatrick changed the title to Is it OK to invite someone to a party, not tell them it's for yohttps://www.m4m-forum.org/topic/128199-is-it-ok-to-invite-someone-to-a-party-not-tell-them-its-for-your-birthday/?do=getNewCommentur birthday?
  • + sam.fitzpatrick changed the title to Is it OK to invite someone to a party, not tell them it's for your birthday?
18 hours ago, Unicorn said:

Should I invite them to the party, but not tell them it's for my birthday?

No. Playing games is for children and I’m assuming this isn’t your sweet 16. 

I recently attended a birthday party where it was clear that about half of the
guests didn’t know that it was a birthday party. It made the whole night
awkward. It was like some guests were close enough to the couple to know
the "true nature" of the party and some people weren’t.

We’re all adults. Just be honest and straightforward. ”No presents please"
is standard party invite language that everyone should understand and respect. 

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