KaiJohnson - NYC - Rentmen

[+ WestGuy]

Met him once. Happy to share details in a PM.   

[+ KensingtonHomo]

We met Kai yesterday. He did look exactly like his photos, kind of a Baldwin brother vibe. His body is ridiculous. Kai was very kind and welcoming. Very adept at all the things we like. In terms of the "weird" vibe. he just has a very deadpan sense of humor, which I generally appreciate. But if you don't realize he's kidding, I can see it coming off a bit odd. If we see him again, we'd probably have him over to ours. We couldn't this weekend. DM if you want more details. 

[dutchal]

Viewed his profile, and he then hit me up, asking if I'm top or bottom or vers.  When I responded, he asked for pics.  Wondering if we're on Scruff/Grindr or rentmen.

[Lazarus]

2 hours ago, dutchal said:

Viewed his profile, and he then hit me up, asking if I'm top or bottom or vers.  When I responded, he asked for pics.  Wondering if we're on Scruff/Grindr or rentmen.

The same just happened to me…again! 

[Lazarus]

Just now, Lazarus said:

The same just happened to me…again!  Only I have no intention of responding. 

 

[ChasingGirth]

17 hours ago, dutchal said:

Viewed his profile, and he then hit me up, asking if I'm top or bottom or vers.  When I responded, he asked for pics.  Wondering if we're on Scruff/Grindr or rentmen.

Homeboy should change career 😂

 

[pubic_assistance]

3 minutes ago, ChasingGirth said:

Homeboy should change career 😂

 

Nothing wrong with a provider actively promoting his services. I think creating a conversation as if you're on a hook up site might be exciting for people. You can more easily pretend your targeted cutie is actually interested in you and not your wallet.

[ChasingGirth]

2 hours ago, pubic_assistance said:

Nothing wrong with a provider actively promoting his services. I think creating a conversation as if you're on a hook up site might be exciting for people. You can more easily pretend your targeted cutie is actually interested in you and not your wallet.

A professional guy that is good at what he is doing would never ask for a photo.

And frankly the reason why most guys use escorts is to escape the toxicity that Grindr and other apps bring.  

If you decide to send your face that’s your choice, it has to do with your own insecurities of being rejected or if you are looking for validation.

And let’s face it, an escort will always tell you that you are handsome if you ever send a photo. 
 

 

 

[pubic_assistance]

15 minutes ago, ChasingGirth said:

A professional guy that is good at what he is doing would never ask for a photo.

This is an often discussed subject here, that is never agreed upon.

I am on the side of the aisle that says any provider has every right to see who they are arranging a session with and every right to pick and choose who they want to spread their legs for.

There are certainly "professionals" out there who have the gift to bed anyone and everyone. But that shouldn't preclude others who may be more discerning from working in the industry.

I don't believe there is any "rule" that your money buys you everyone, no matter how physically unappealing you may be.

[ChasingGirth]

5 minutes ago, pubic_assistance said:

This is an often discussed subject here, that is never agreed upon.

I am on the side of the aisle that says any provider has every right to see who they are arranging a session with and every right to pick and choose who they want to spread their legs for.

There are certainly "professionals" out there who have the gift to bed anyone and everyone. But that shouldn't preclude others who may be more discerning from working in the industry.

I don't believe there is any "rule" that your money buys you everyone, no matter how physically unappealing you may be.

You are mixing up everything.

It has nothing to do with physical aspect, being physically unappealing or not.

For the most majority of us, it is fundamental to remain discreet and private.

We can not afford to send a photo of us to every escorts that will request a photo.

We have jobs, some of us are public figures, sometimes not out, some of us have a family.

We use escorts for that reason. 

A true professional will understand that.

[pubic_assistance]

4 minutes ago, ChasingGirth said:

We have jobs, some of us are public figures, sometimes not out, some of us have a family.

I am one of those people.

Sharing a photo of myself isn't going to impact me in any way.

Anyone can harvest a photo of me from multiple place on the internet.

Like I said....if you don't like the business model, don't shop there. But don't diminish someone's standards by calling them less than professional.

[DWnyc]

 

I’d like to add that in some cases there can be a toxic element to this as well.

For instance, I have heard from several friends of color that the minute they’ve sent a photo everything goes quiet or they’re even blocked whether on phone or on the app. And it may be that they’re asked for a picture more than others are because of something that arises in the back and forth (eg if the provider searches for their phone number or address and sees some identifying marker).   One friend showed me a text exchange with a New York provider who switched immediately from a flirty playful tone to saying “I’ve had bad experiences with people like you so I’m going to have to pass”. 

If a provider said something like m, “Since you will be coming to my apartment I’d like a picture for security purposes” that would be one thing (even if cloaking a means of filtering out races, ages, body types etc they didn’t want to service).  But just asking for a photo without further explanation deserves discussion.

If a barber, a dentist, a waiter, apartment manager etc said I need to see a picture of you before I take an appointment or reservation, I think we’d be more inclined to speak up about why this can be dangerous. Not to mention that even if the motives are “innocent” how it can trigger sensitive reactions. 

 

[DWnyc]

17 minutes ago, pubic_assistance said:

.

Like I said....if you don't like the business model, don't shop there. But don't diminish someone's standards by calling them less than professional.

Ok … what’s then the standard of professionalism in this business? Being able to service someone willing to pay (as long as there is no danger, craziness etc) - or servicing only those of that individuals choosing?

I’d say fine if the provider wants to be selective on whatever criteria they choose - but then they should be prepared to have that discussed and exposed if they don’t publicize it. And deal with the repercussions.

I wouldn’t shop at a store that says “I have the right not to serve people above the age of X, of this race or religion, of X weight …” even if I would be allowed in there. 

[pubic_assistance]

7 minutes ago, DWnyc said:

I wouldn’t shop at a store that says “I have the right not to serve people above the age of X, of this race or religion, of X weight …” even if I would be allowed in there. 

I own a small business myself. I don't serve everyone. I am selective about my clientele and you need to come with references. I fully believe that every small business owner has a right to do the same. It's not like public housing or a hospital.

[DWnyc]

23 minutes ago, pubic_assistance said:

I own a small business myself. I don't serve everyone. I am selective about my clientele and you need to come with references. I fully believe that every small business owner has a right to do the same. It's not like public housing or a hospital.

That’s totally fine and your prerogative as long as in line with applicable laws. And I’m sure you can find ways to maintain selectivity bypassing laws if needed, as everyone else can do as well. That’s not a personal dig at you - I know nothing about you - just saying that it’s a minefield we all navigate whether or not we realize. 

And if anyone finds your practices - or those of any other business provider - worthy of public discussion they should have the right to do so as well.

 

[pubic_assistance]

12 minutes ago, DWnyc said:

And if anyone finds your practices - or those of any other business provider - worthy of public discussion they should have the right to do so as well.

Discuss away.

But a provider has a right to conduct business in their own way.

If people don't like it. Don't shop there.

 

[Westsideguy]

He responded to me the same way when I looked at his profile .  I did meet him.  He is very hot and passionate.  I get the comments about his sense of humor.  I recommend. 

[Chilltime]

As a person of color who hires, you have to start with the understanding that the gay community is extremely racist and providers reflect the community.  If you don’t want bad experiences, it is better to be transparent and tell the provider and deal with their racism up front.  I tried it the other way and had so many bad experiences that I paid for.  I would much rather have providers who will work with me than roll the dice on their racism 

[ChasingGirth]

Just now, Chilltime said:

As a person of color who hires, you have to start with the understanding that the gay community is extremely racist and providers reflect the community.  If you don’t want bad experiences, it is better to be transparent and tell the provider and deal with their racism up front.  I tried it the other way and had so many bad experiences that I paid for.  I would much rather have providers who will work with me than roll the dice on their racism 

I totally agree with you, if you’re the one sending your photos upfront. And yes this community is very racist. 

[pubic_assistance]

51 minutes ago, Chilltime said:

the gay community is extremely racist and providers reflect the community.

Is this true ? That I would find very hypocritical if it's so. I thought the whole rainbow flag thing was about inclusion. Anyway..that's a discussion for another thread. But I am shocked to hear this.

[CuriousByNature]

1 hour ago, ChasingGirth said:

I totally agree with you, if you’re the one sending your photos upfront. And yes this community is very racist. 

I'm really surprised by this.  Do you think that the community is more racist than other demographics, or is it just more surprising that racist sentiments exist in a community that has faced so much discrimination itself, albeit based on orientation?  Sadly, racism exists in every demographic, even amongst those who definitely should know much better.  Ugh - society can really disappoint.

Edited January 31, 2023 by CuriousByNature

[Walt]

4 hours ago, DWnyc said:

what’s then the standard of professionalism in this business?

It's thoroughly detailed within the Code of Ethics embedded in the legislation the State Assembly ratified and that the State Licensing Board regulates.  Hahaha.

[Chilltime]

I doubt there is any demographic analysis of gay racism versus the population as a whole.  I will simply say that i am significantly less likely to encounter explicit racism at non gay events or spaces.  I get that the community does a lot of virtue signaling around this issue but it is not my experience

[pubic_assistance]

14 minutes ago, Chilltime said:

I get that the community does a lot of virtue signaling around this issue but it is not my experience

THAT is truly disappointing. I find this rather shocking (considering all the massive amounts of virtue signaling).

[Strafe13]

7 hours ago, DWnyc said:

That’s totally fine and your prerogative as long as in line with applicable laws. And I’m sure you can find ways to maintain selectivity bypassing laws if needed, as everyone else can do as well. That’s not a personal dig at you - I know nothing about you - just saying that it’s a minefield we all navigate whether or not we realize. 

And if anyone finds your practices - or those of any other business provider - worthy of public discussion they should have the right to do so as well.

 

I’m not saying @pubic_assistance does this, but the rationale he expresses (that business owners should be able to refuse service to whomever they want for pretty much any reason) has been, in my experience and as borne by America’s history, a cover for discrimination in public accommodations.  While there’s obviously no empirical evidence, it’s my firm belief that many escorts hue to this same mentality and use the request for stats and/or pics as a means of filtering out members of those demographics against whom they wish to discriminate.  Like others have said here, I’ve also had providers go silent once my race or color has been revealed.  Heck, it happens in regular hookups all the time.  The LGBTQ community is just as bigoted as any other demographic group.  Conversely, it’s no more bigoted than any other group.  Racism, sexism, queerphobia, white supremacy, Christian supremacy, and various similar ills are endemic in our society, so I’m never surprised when and where they manifest.
 

All the above being said, I don’t know whether this provider Kai requests pics from prospective clients so he can practice racial or other discrimination. But I doubt it, and here’s why.  Kai and i never met, but we messaged back and forth within the past 2 months or so, when i tried to set up a meeting (it didn’t come to fruition).  Kai asked for pics and stats from me, but since my race is indicated in my rentmen profile name, which I’d shared in my initial message to him, I suspect that his request, which came later, had less to do with race/color/ethnicity than with some other trait for which he’s screening.  Ultimately, we didn’t meet because the vibe felt off even though he seemed to be less rigid with the photo request.  But if screening me based on race was the objective, he could’ve just ignored me when I disclosed my profile name in my intro message.    So I guess that something else is going on there.

 Some providers request pics, rather than stats, and in discussions they revealed that it’s a safety measure.  Be that as it may, it doesn’t surprise me that they could be clueless as to how that might be perceived by others as potentially indicative of racial or other discriminatory animus.