Ghosted By A Provider, Now What?

[BaronArtz]

I am glad your city still has indoor dining at restaurants ...

[ericwinters]

First of all, thank you for posting you seem to be an honest guy!

 

Move on. You gave him way to many chances already.

 

no way for us to point any red flags but some providers unfortunately act like this constantly because their perceived abundance of clients, their own priorities, PNP lifestyle or just because they CAN get away with it. Certainly plenty of fish out there!

 

As pointed by others you must review him!

 

I hate to say coulda woulda shoulda but why did you book a fancy hotel and restaurant to meet someone for the first time?

 

Why not just going to his place or have him come to yours?

 

Does he live in your own town?

 

Do you have a limited number of providers and therefore you still want to meet him because he's one of your few choices?

 

Take a look at this thread, you're not alone hoping someone who constantly behaves like that will change just for you. Ryan Rose didn't show up to 3 consecutive meetings with a frequent poster.

 

Here's an example of a doormat mentality by some that encourages others to act like that.

 

Ryan Rose ? is escorting again... | M4M Message Forum (m4m-forum.org)

 

I tried to meet Ryan and communication was terrible when he did respond. I passed.

[+ MattOSUGRAD]

Well, I do have some good news, I was able to get a massage. I did not go into any of the details about the ghosted date and the masseur was so delighted by my oral skills that he even offered to stay over off the clock if I wanted to continue. Of course I said yes, and he was came not too long thereafter. He commented that it felt really great and he hadn't done that with many clients. That did make me feel a little better.

[Ernesto]

I’m sorry this happened to you. I’m sure you’re a nice man who could date another nice man and not resort to paid companions, ie escorts, ie sexworkers ie whores to fill this need in your life.

 

Sex workers are just that, members of the workforce who use sex as their currency. Except for special situations it’s unrealistic to expect more.

 

ok boys, let it rip, I’m sure you’ll be all over me for this one.

[liubit]

Well, I do have some good news, I was able to get a massage. I did not go into any of the details about the ghosted date and the masseur was so delighted by my oral skills that he even offered to stay over off the clock if I wanted to continue. Of course I said yes, and he was came not too long thereafter. He commented that it felt really great and he hadn't done that with many clients. That did make me feel a little better.

Kudos, @MattOSUGRAD

[The Dude]

I'll echo the "move on" comments. I'm not sure why it would even be a question; there are plenty of other guys out there.

[marylander1940]

I tried to meet Ryan and communication was terrible when he did respond. I passed.

 

and you got lucky!

[+ MattOSUGRAD]

I’m sorry this happened to you. I’m sure you’re a nice man who could date another nice man and not resort to paid companions, ie escorts, ie sexworkers ie whores to fill this need in your life.

 

Sex workers are just that, members of the workforce who use sex as their currency. Except for special situations it’s unrealistic to expect more.

 

ok boys, let it rip, I’m sure you’ll be all over me for this one.

 

The challenge is I really dislike rejection, and while yes I am a very nice and thoughtful person, I am most likely nobody's "type" therefore I don't really want to put myself out there to go on dates just to be rejected time and time again.

[JayCeeKy]

Have you had this happen to you?

I had one escort texting me on his journey to my hotel. The last text I received was "Turning now onto your street." Then.... the dreaded silence. It would have been interesting to find out what actually happened, but I doubt that I'd ever get the true story.

[Michael PhD]

The challenge is I really dislike rejection, and while yes I am a very nice and thoughtful person, I am most likely nobody's "type" therefore I don't really want to put myself out there to go on dates just to be rejected time and time again.

 

if you’re a nice, thoughtful, respectful guy who knows how to suck as you suggest in an earlier response, you’re my type. Don’t sell yourself short.

[Guest]

I had one escort texting me on his journey to my hotel. The last text I received was "Turning now onto your street." Then.... the dreaded silence. It would have been interesting to find out what actually happened, but I doubt that I'd ever get the true story.

 

Damn maybe he got stopped at the hotel? I've had a couple of bad Grindr meet ups like that. One guy came in, we felt each other up a bit then he asked if he had to pay to park on the street which you do so he said he was going to move his car and he never came back. OUCH! The other time was late at night and I saw the guy walking across the street towards my house while I was on the phone. He disappeared and never messaged back.

 

Maybe I should take the hint..

[dbar123]

I calculated my absolute ghosting rate to be about 5% with providers I’ve never seen before. This does not include escorts who have the courtesy to text a cancellation right before the event.

One escort texted me multiple times to tell me he was on his way. Two hours later he still hadn’t shown up and he stopped responding.

Another escort just didn’t show up and became unresponsive...but called 2 days later to see if I was still interested. I had the perverse joy of ghosting him.

[+ MysticMenace]

Simple logic, my forum friends.....

 

grindr = ?????

rentmen = grindr

rentmen = ?????

 

where ????? = "who knows?"

 

technically...the rentmen = ????? might be redundant. transitive property of equality already takes care of that. the more we know...???

[marylander1940]

The challenge is I really dislike rejection, and while yes I am a very nice and thoughtful person, I am most likely nobody's "type" therefore I don't really want to put myself out there to go on dates just to be rejected time and time again.

 

rejection is not the main issue but how untrustworthy he is and if that applies to other parts of his life, can he have his shit together if he stood up a client for 3 hours including a nice dinner? Did he just forget about it? Did he get a better last minute offer?

 

With the right looks and mindset escorting is a dream activity!

[+ Charlie]

Please tell us who this loser is, so that the rest of us don’t spend a night alone in a restaurant waiting for him.

 

What an ass....and not in a good way.

@nycman Please don't encourage others to break the "No Reviews" rules.

Sorry.

 

Please send Daddy a review.....so that the rest of us don’t spend a night alone in a restaurant waiting for him.

 

Better?....grin

I thought reviews were not allowed for meetings that never actually took place (?)

[rustyrex]

Happens to the those of us that have a lot of experience with this hobby...that's why you gotta have a back up just in case the plan A flakes. I've even had to contact plan D for the 3 flakes before him. The 4th guy was a charm and we had a lot of fun.

 

Don't put all your eggs in one basket and don't expect too much off the first meeting, certainly not a fancy dinner and hotel. Save that for the guy that becomes your regular.

 

Yes we all want what we want but put into perspective that if the guy is okay with treating you like that, he could care less about you or your money. Give it to someone worth your time.

[+ MattOSUGRAD]

rejection is not the main issue but how untrustworthy he is and if that applies to other parts of his life, can he have his shit together if he stood up a client for 3 hours including a nice dinner? Did he just forget about it? Did he get a better last minute offer?

 

With the right looks and mindset escorting is a dream activity!

 

I did sort of wonder if maybe he got a better offer, and honestly while that would be a little disappointing considering we discussed things, I would've understood. It is a business transaction and to a certain degree I can understand wanting to maximize profits. I personally would have hoped if that is the case he would have stuck to our arrangements, but I would've been gracious had he communicated as such.

[+ MattOSUGRAD]

Happens to the those of us that have a lot of experience with this hobby...that's why you gotta have a back up just in case the plan A flakes. I've even had to contact plan D for the 3 flakes before him. The 4th guy was a charm and we had a lot of fun.

 

Don't put all your eggs in one basket and don't expect too much off the first meeting, certainly not a fancy dinner and hotel. Save that for the guy that becomes your regular.

 

Yes we all want what we want but put into perspective that if the guy is okay with treating you like that, he could care less about you or your money. Give it to someone worth your time.

 

I am trying to look at this as a teachable moment and I am really thankful for your and so many other's comments and insights. I value thoughts and opinions as inputs to help me sort through this, and you all have been a great help. ?

[+ MattOSUGRAD]

Is PNP a possible choice?

 

Does he seem to have his life together in his ad?

 

Hopefully he won't come back to you about his roommate losing his key, or having an accident, etc.

 

I do not profess to the best judge of character and do not have a lot of experience with this, but I did not get a sense that he was the type to PNP or that he would flake out for any given reason. It seemed like we had a good few communications back and forth. I don't want to give the impression that I was being overbearing or texting him constantly as I try to be very conscious of the provider's time. It just never occurred to me that I might be ghosted.

[+ MattOSUGRAD]

Damn maybe he got stopped at the hotel? I've had a couple of bad Grindr meet ups like that. One guy came in, we felt each other up a bit then he asked if he had to pay to park on the street which you do so he said he was going to move his car and he never came back. OUCH! The other time was late at night and I saw the guy walking across the street towards my house while I was on the phone. He disappeared and never messaged back.

 

Maybe I should take the hint..

 

I am sure it is not you Woofie.

[Guy Fawkes]

Do you take "No-Show" reviews?

In general we look at these on a case-by-case basis. In general we "Hold" these type of reviews because it is very difficult to verify this type of situation.

 

I thought reviews were not allowed for meetings that never actually took place (?)

[+ MattOSUGRAD]

As promised, here is an update:

 

Received a text from the provider, they said they completely mixed up their days and was mortified they missed our appointment yesterday. They are willing to call and talk with me tonight and apologized that I got the hotel and dinner without them.

 

I said that I understand things can happen but that I was genuinely concerned for their wellbeing since I hadn't heard anything. I then said I would be free to talk either for the next 30 minutes or in about 4 hours after I am done working.

 

I am going to ask him if he is ok and what happened. Will let you all know what he says, but I am trying to be gracious and give them a second chance.

 

In case any of you were wondering, I did still eat out ... by myself, and ordered the bacon wrapped filet mignon. It was exceptional, but I wasn't really in the right frame of mind to fully appreciate it. I was upfront with the waiter (cute guy by the way) that I may have been ghosted. Even though I had already decided I would give the waiter or waitress a tip based on two nice meals, because I felt like it wasn't their fault and they were expecting two of us. Nevertheless, I was thankful to him for being so gracious and saying that he had been ghosted before.

Edited January 4, 2021 by MattOSUGRAD

[Guest]

As promised, here is an update:

 

Received a text from the provider, they said they completely mixed up their days and was mortified they missed our appointment yesterday. They are willing to call and talk with me tonight and apologized that I got the hotel and dinner without them.

 

I said that I understand things can happen but that I was genuinely concerned for their wellbeing since I hadn't heard anything. I then said I would be free to talk either for the next 30 minutes or in about 4 hours after I am done working.

 

I am going to ask him if he is ok and what happened. Will let you all know what he says, but I am trying to be gracious and give them a second chance.

 

I think it's great that you're concerned about him, providers are people and we all know life can change quickly. I was planning on meeting up with this hot escort in Palm Springs one year and we texted back and forth quite a bit. When the time came to plan a time that evening to meet up he stopped responding. He messaged me later and apologized he cut his hand on broken glass and had to go to the ER!

 

And I'm sure many members on here remember what happened to poor Eric Hassan during Daddy's meet up in Palm Springs in 2018!

[CuriousByNature]

I think it's great that you're concerned about him, providers are people and we all know life can change quickly. I was planning on meeting up with this hot escort in Palm Springs one year and we texted back and forth quite a bit. When the time came to plan a time that evening to meet up he stopped responding. He messaged me later and apologized he cut his hand on broken glass and had to go to the ER!

 

And I'm sure many members on here remember what happened to poor Eric Hassan during Daddy's meet up in Palm Springs in 2018!

What was it that happened in 2018?

[Guest]

What was it that happened in 2018?

 

He was in a motorcycle accident with another provider (DavidSF?). Just some road rash from what I remember but it was scary at the time.