Donation on Arrival or After Service?

[+ nycman]

Never paid up front.

 

Never will.

 

Only pisses off the scammers, not the professionals.

[+ MakeMeCowboy]

For those providers who want payment upfront... state it in your ad.

[tj_forplay]

Everytime I've paid up front whether it's for just massage or full service, I've always received a lack luster experience & time cut short. I've considered just leaving when asked to pay first but I feel like it's a catch-22 situation, so I don't. Pay & get crappy service/disappointment or leave & possibly get into a crazy situation with the provider. What do you do?

 

Also, if I'm paying upfront it's a for sure no tip at the point. The payment part is always really awkward for me, and I definitely don't want to do it twice for the same meeting in the odd chance & I really had a great time and wanted to tip.

[Milo Farnsworth]

Never EVER pay upfront. If he asks for the $ first, turn your ass around and run.

[Milo Farnsworth]

NEVER EVER PAY UPFRONT!! NEVER!

[Lazarus]

i have paid upfront several times & never had a problem. Maybe it’s because the guys think I look like a cop so they feel more comfortable getting paid first.

[orville]

Once I had one regular forget his fee cause we were having such a great time. He came back 5 mins later to knock at my door.

Then on another occasion, he stood up in the middle of our session and asked for it before he forgot again, it was so weird to me.

Since then I prefer to leave it visible on the table by my bed so he knows it's there as soon as he's in my room.

No need for him to ask, he just takes it whenever he wants and makes our sessions more fluid and natural.

I never care if he takes the money on arrival, in the middle of our session or when he leaves, because he delivers consistently.

Also, he never looks at his watch and often he gives me extra time. When we first met though, I gave him money on arrival for his reassurance.

[orville]

I’ve gotten burned by an asshole in Charlotte. After the session he said he left the money in the car and that he would go grab it. I came down with him. This was at a hotel as well. When we got outside he told me he had no money and that he wasn’t able to pay me. Instead of kicking him in the nuts I told him that karma is a bitch and one day it would come back to bite him in the ass in one form or another. Plus I am not about to start a fight in front of a hotel. Lesson learned - make sure they have the money before the session begins even if you are to collect it after.

Yes, I've been told these stores by some providers.

I'm a premium client on RM so I find providers tend to trust me.

In the same way, I tend to trust providers with a good reputation on RM, or on this forum.

If anyone has asked for money on arrival I just say "it's right there" (pointing to the table).

They just look at it and smile while I extend an inviting arm asking them to join me in bed ?

Edited September 20, 2020 by orville

[orville]

Never EVER pay upfront. If he asks for the $ first, turn your ass around and run.

NEVER EVER PAY UPFRONT!! NEVER!

 

Hi, I noticed you posted twice and what you wrote is causing confusion on this thread.

FOR CLARIFICATION: this thread is about donation after a session or on arrival, not upfront.

 

On Arrival: when the client and the provider actually meet, and donation is made before the start of the session.

Upfront: when the provider asks for a full/partial deposit before the meeting. Often leads to a scam.

 

Donation upfront has been widely discussed in this forum and not recommended.

Donation on arrival is a completely different concept.

The objective of this thread is to provide best practices for both providers and clients, not to create division.

[+ azdr0710]

a perennial topic since Hooboy days......

 

when meeting with somebody new, I'll always say in PRE-MEET communication that I'll pay at the end of the meeting, do not want to talk $$ during the meet, and ask for their ok on that.....if they request, I'll do the ol' envelope-on-the-dresser routine for them to see upon arrival.......some have asked to just "see" the donation on arrival and I'll quickly try to accommodate that request and then put the envelope "out of reach"........despite all this, when a few have still asked for payment up front upon arrival, I'll simply say I'm an honest guy and will pay at the end as agreed to.......none have ever walked out.......

 

I certainly understand honest providers who are leery around a new client and want to avoid a racket......tough to balance this forum's "never-pay-upfront" admonitions with the occasional crooked client

 

communicate!!!

[orville]

I certainly understand honest providers who are leery around a new client and want to avoid a racket......tough to balance this forum's "never-pay-upfront" admonitions with the occasional crooked client

Yes, that's the general consensus. NEVER send electronic money in advance as a booking fee or full deposit, that's more likely a scam.

All the rest, as for when to pay when the meeting actually happens, either on arrival or when leaving, can be talked/communicated.

[LivingnLA]

Pre pandemic, many of my experiences started with a drink at a bar or dinner at a good restaurant. I explained it all during the planning communication, paid for the time, and paid for the drinks and food. It helps both of us relax and create the fantasy I requested. It was also safer for me because I learned never to accept anything I didn't clearly see made or opened after I was drugged, raped, and robbed in my very first hire. I learned many lessons from that experience. Another time, a newer provider wanted to see the money when we were at the bar. I made a point of subtly fanning the bills in my money clip as I paid and tipped the bartender. If it's a fast session, there's usually a table where I place the envelope when I arrive. The provider can do whatever they want with it. Nearly all wait until the end. I would never pay a deposit or upfront. And I do not pay a new provider on arrival unless I know they're highly regarded on daddy's or this forum.

[Otto]

Hi, I noticed you posted twice and what you wrote is causing confusion on this thread.

FOR CLARIFICATION: this thread is about donation after a session or on arrival, not upfront.

 

On Arrival: when the client and the provider actually meet, and donation is made before the start of the session.

Upfront: when the provider asks for a full/partial deposit before the meeting. Often leads to a scam.

 

I'm with Milo. I don't pay $$$ 'On Arrival', or 'Upfront'.

[orville]

I'm with Milo. I don't pay $$$ 'On Arrival', or 'Upfront'.

And that is ok. The main take away is to always communicate to avoid bad experiences, etiher before or during the in person meeting, because as you, some providers have had bad experiences too. The objective is that both, provider and client, have a good time.

Edited September 21, 2020 by orville

[Jamie21]

I feel awkward if my client pays up front. It usually happens if they’re an inexperienced hirer. I just ask at the end how they’d like to pay if they haven’t offered the payment after an appropriate time (usually when they’re dressing). When they book I let them know I can take credit cards so they can either do that or pay cash.

 

Never had any issues except one guy who said afterwards that he didn’t have the cash and had no card. I said I’d walk with him to the cash machine do he could withdraw it. I think he thought I’d say that he was such a good fuck I’d do it for free!

[thedanNYC]

I feel awkward if my client pays up front. It usually happens if they’re an inexperienced hirer. I just ask at the end how they’d like to pay if they haven’t offered the payment after an appropriate time (usually when they’re dressing). When they book I let them know I can take credit cards so they can either do that or pay cash.

 

Never had any issues except one guy who said afterwards that he didn’t have the cash and had no card. I said I’d walk with him to the cash machine do he could withdraw it. I think he thought I’d say that he was such a good fuck I’d do it for free!

 

Did y'all do that, or did he take off on you?

[bendable2019]

So we’ve all had our bad experiences. We just need to be careful - read the reviews, stay away from those asking for payment up front (in my case, he came took the money and ran away), check their start dates in the business - the young ones claiming they have experience are placed in my “to be visited after 20 years” folder... lol.

[Lazarus]

Upfront & at arrival basically mean the same thing to me.

Upfront as in before we do anything.

After as in after we are finished doing anything.

Paying before you even meet is almost like an advance or a deposit.

Something I would never do.

[MikeBiDude]

Upfront & at arrival basically mean the same thing to me.

This...I think most of us here would agree. Deposit for an appt a different kettle of fish.

[+ JEC]

As a client, I (almost) never pay a deposit. 2 exceptions: One I got burned, the other I was glad I did .

Being asked to pay upfront (once together) is a turn off and frankly a boner killer.

To remove any awkwardness, I usually put the money somewhere visible and let the provider know it's there.

[Jamie21]

Did y'all do that, or did he take off on you?

I stayed really close to him as we walked to the cash machine. He was fine and withdrew the cash and gave it to me. I don’t think he intended not to pay, I think he was just trying it on. I’ve seen him a couple of times since and he’s always had the cash.

[Rod Hagen]

was able to elbow me in the eye and it left a noticeable bruise that I had to explain over and over

 

Very sorry to hear that Niko. I'm really impressed that you pushed through such a difficult session to continue escorting, a lot of guys would say "fuck this" and quit. In 21 years I've never had a violent encounter, you probably got the only one you'll ever have behind you!

[Rod Hagen]

A couple years ago I did a bad thing during a Massage appointment. A young client I'd seen a couple times before asked at the end of the session if he could pay me via Venmo. I'd never heard of Venmo, and I asked if we could walk down to the ATM together instead (it's less than 1/2 block from my apartment). He's young, Gen Z, and like many ppl his age cash is poison to him. We did walk to the ATM, but he made his frustration with me clear, and he stopped seeing me. Rather than just shitting on young-people-tools I should have just signed up then and done it (though that would have taken an equal amount of time.)

 

I see him around town. We wave.

 

Of course now, as a person in the world, I have and use Venmo. Oops. Lost a client by not being responsive to his preference. Oops.

[+ FrankR]

A couple years ago I did a bad thing during a Massage appointment. A young client I'd seen a couple times before asked at the end of the session if he could pay me via Venmo. I'd never heard of Venmo, and I asked if we could walk down to the ATM together instead (it's less than 1/2 block from my apartment). He's young, Gen Z, and like many ppl his age cash is poison to him. We did walk to the ATM, but he made his frustration with me clear, and he stopped seeing me. Rather than just shitting on young-people-tools I should have just signed up then and done it (though that would have taken an equal amount of time.)

 

I see him around town. We wave.

 

Of course now, as a person in the world, I have and use Venmo. Oops. Lost a client by not being responsive to his preference. Oops.

Maybe...but surely he should have asked you ahead of time if you had Venmo; it's not like you are unacquainted? I am sure if he had asked ahead of time you could have figured it out and have been ready to accommodate him. Courtesy is a two way street. (Or it should be...it usually isn't and that is why I drink!)

 

Edited October 2, 2020 by FrankR

[NikoLeto]

Very sorry to hear that Niko. I'm really impressed that you pushed through such a difficult session to continue escorting, a lot of guys would say "fuck this" and quit. In 21 years I've never had a violent encounter, you probably got the only one you'll ever have behind you!

 

You're absolutely right. I haven't had another violent encounter, though I have had a handful of bizarre experiences across the years (two that jump to mind: one spiked lube with a drug and another fell completely unconscious and unresponsive in the middle of the session), basically all of them circled around drugs. Now I have a hard-no policy on any client using meth or G. Originally, I viewed them as just "other drugs", but I've found that they're not conducive to a quality experience. Best to avoid them entirely, from my perspective.