Dinner at a friends?

[+ purplekow]

My birthday was last Sunday and a friend called the week before to asked me to come to her home for dinner. She is a good cook. She said she and her husband had not left the house except for food shopping for months. I had been to their home for a meal about 3 weeks ago and we ate out on the porch and kept social distancing.

I was not inclined to go but she insisted that it was my birthday and the she would cook whatever it is I wanted. I agreed to go. When I got to her home, she was lying on the couch and was complaining of abdominal pain which had been going on for days. She looked ill but she did not have a high temperature and no cough or shortness of breath. She did have diarrhea. I asked why they did not cancel and was told that as she had been sick for a few days that I might offer them some medical advice. Her husband had done the cooking. I was tempted to just leave but thought it rude, but now three days later she is still ill and having other symptoms that has me concerned that she may have Covid. I am annoyed with myself for not leaving and try annoyed with them for not cancelling. We did social distance but ate indoors.

Thoughts?

[+ sync]

Your "friends" have shown horrible judgement. They could have sought your medical advice via phone/text/email. Hopefully, your kindness and consideration have not endangered your health.

[Daverwr]

I’ve been informed by a doctor that Covid-19 is a respiratory virus affecting the lungs. It is NOT gastrointestinal. Symptoms of the virus do not include diarrhea. It sounds like she may have some other issue. Since it’s been going on a while, I suggest she see her doctor.

 

BTW - I think your birthday is the day after mine - 8/15.

[Guest]

If she said she was well, but obviously wasn't, it was she/they who was being rude. I would have probably said "We need a do-over when you're feeling well." Especially since the meal was indoors. Well, all you can do is cross your fingers now. When I've had meals with friends, I've made it clear that the dining is "al fresco" or not at all. If someone does a switcheroo on you, it's your prerogative to bow out, reminding them of what was said previously.

Edited August 22, 2020 by Unicorn

[Guest]

I’ve been informed by a doctor that Covid-19 is a respiratory virus affecting the lungs. It is NOT gastrointestinal. Symptoms of the virus do not include diarrhea. It sounds like she may have some other issue. Since it’s been going on a while, I suggest she see her doctor.

 

BTW - I think your birthday is the day after mine - 8/15.

Sorry, but your doctor mis-informed you. When in doubt, check the CDC.

Symptoms may appear 2-14 days after exposure to the virus. People with these symptoms may have COVID-19:

Fever or chills

Cough

Shortness of breath or difficulty breathing

Fatigue

Muscle or body aches

Headache

New loss of taste or smell

Sore throat

Congestion or runny nose

Nausea or vomiting

Diarrhea

https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/symptoms-testing/symptoms.html

 

The loss of taste/smell is one of the more specific symptoms, somewhat more unique to this virus. I've had a number of patients with GI symptoms who've tested positive. So far, every person who's told me he's lost the sense of taste or smell has turned out positive. For some strange reason, a lot of patients get stressed out from that symptom and ask me if there's a medication for that (there isn't). If I had Covid-19, that would probably be the least of my worries.

[Luv2play]

My birthday was last Sunday and a friend called the week before to asked me to come to her home for dinner. She is a good cook. She said she and her husband had not left the house except for food shopping for months. I had been to their home for a meal about 3 weeks ago and we ate out on the porch and kept social distancing.

I was not inclined to go but she insisted that it was my birthday and the she would cook whatever it is I wanted. I agreed to go. When I got to her home, she was lying on the couch and was complaining of abdominal pain which had been going on for days. She looked ill but she did not have a high temperature and no cough or shortness of breath. She did have diarrhea. I asked why they did not cancel and was told that as she had been sick for a few days that I might offer them some medical advice. Her husband had done the cooking. I was tempted to just leave but thought it rude, but now three days later she is still ill and having other symptoms that has me concerned that she may have Covid. I am annoyed with myself for not leaving and try annoyed with them for not cancelling. We did social distance but ate indoors.

Thoughts?

I agree that your friends did not show much consideration for you and your health by not cancelling the dinner when it was clear that one of them was quite ill. I would have thought that in the current pandemic, any sign of illness has to be taken seriously and while not jumping to conclusions, the better course is to exercise prudence, particularly when others’ health may become at risk because of proximity to the ill person. Their excuse as to why they did not cancel demonstrates a callous self centredness IMO. At this point all you can do is wait out a possible incubation period of about 2 weeks. Try to occupy yourself with other matters although I realize that may be easier said than done. Good luck.

[Guest]

.... I realize that may be easier said than done....

I feel a ditty coming on...

[rvwnsd]

I’ve been informed by a doctor that Covid-19 is a respiratory virus affecting the lungs. It is NOT gastrointestinal. Symptoms of the virus do not include diarrhea. It sounds like she may have some other issue. Since it’s been going on a while, I suggest she see her doctor.

 

BTW - I think your birthday is the day after mine - 8/15.

Your birthday is three days after mine and @purplekow's is four days after mine AND is the same as a very, very dear friend.

 

Leos unite!

 

[Guest]

You’re only guilty of being polite. However, I would never have done what she did.

[+ Charlie]

From your description, it sounds like what they wanted in return for their hospitality was a free medical consultation.

[Guest]

From your description, it sounds like what they wanted in return for their hospitality was a free medical consultation.

I might have added "...in return for their hospitality and rudeness..."

[Becket]

With friends like these......

 

Really that's about the rudest thing I've ever heard. Didn't cancel 'cause they wanted free medical advice? Good Lord. I have to go wash my hands now just thinking about her.

[Islesguy]

I have not eaten a meal inside with anyone but the people with whom I live, so I would have declined the invitation outright. Arriving and finding out the info you found out, I would have sung a chorus of "It's My Party" and left. Their rudeness absolved you of any need to conform to etiquette.

[Guest]

According to the following WHO study...

https://www.healthline.com/health-news/covid-19-symptoms-usually-show-up-in-this-order#COVID-19-symptoms-timeline

According to study findings, this is the order of symptoms that patients can experience:

 

1. fever

2. cough and muscle pain

3. nausea or vomiting

4. diarrhea

“The study found that patients with seasonal flu more commonly developed a cough before the onset of fever,” Dr. Robert Glatter, emergency physician, Lenox Hill Hospital, in New York, told Healthline. “In reality, this may be difficult to discern since the flu often begins abruptly with a triad of symptoms, including back pain, chills, along with a dry cough.”

 

Glatter said that the study findings are potentially useful “when evaluating multiple patients in a busy clinical setting.”

 

According to the study, while influenza typically begins with a cough, the first symptom of COVID-19 is fever.

 

Edited August 20, 2020 by Unicorn

[Guest]

...thoughts?

Did your friends ever get tested? Did you? I would suggest quarantining until you get test results back. At least in California, test results are coming back much more quickly now. I've been getting them back in 2 days now.

[marylander1940]

Welcome to dinner I have diarrhea. Not pretty!

 

For folks who stayed home for months only going out to buy food they finally showed no common sense

[+ purplekow]

I have not eaten a meal inside with anyone but the people with whom I live, so I would have declined the invitation outright. Arriving and finding out the info you found out, I would have sung a chorus of "It's My Party" and left. Their rudeness absolved you of any need to conform to etiquette.

My precious meal with them had been outdoors and this one would have been too had she not been ill. She is in the ER right now with just the abdominal pain. Her initial blood tests are all normal but the Covid test is not back. She is having other tests as well.

I am feeling well and today is day 4. The standard of care at the hospital at which I work is that exposure does not require self quarantine as long as you are asymptomatic. Mask and social distancing are a must. I have been going in a bit late, leaving a bit early, taking meetings from home by Zoom and keeping my time in the hospital to a minimum. I have been home alone otherwise. Fortunately, for these two weeks, I/ do not have patient care responsibilities so it is easier to keep to myself in my office. It is an odd thought that after 3 months of dealing with Cold patients 8 to 10 hours a day each day 7 days a week, that a birthday dinner has presented me with my most worrisome exposure. Hopefully she will test negative and I can just keep going along.

[mattr]

These are not your friends. I can't imagine anyone with any decency inviting someone to their house when they have gastrointestinal issues. With Covid on scene it is just plain unthinkable.

[Guest]

...The standard of care at the hospital at which I work is that exposure does not require self quarantine as long as you are asymptomatic....

Looks like your hospital may have to update its policies:

 

https://www.health.harvard.edu/diseases-and-conditions/if-youve-been-exposed-to-the-coronavirus#:~:text=We%20know%20that%20a%20person,start%20to%20experience%20symptoms.

How soon after I'm infected with the new coronavirus will I start to be contagious?

The time from exposure to symptom onset (known as the incubation period) is thought to be three to 14 days, though symptoms typically appear within four or five days after exposure.

We know that a person with COVID-19 may be contagious 48 to 72 hours before starting to experience symptoms. Emerging research suggests that people may actually be most likely to spread the virus to others during the 48 hours before they start to experience symptoms.

[+ Autumnal]

These are not your friends. I can't imagine anyone with any decency inviting someone to their house when they have gastrointestinal issues. With Covid on scene it is just plain unthinkable.

I totally agree with this. She invited you knowing she was sick and insisted you come even when you tried to decline. Why? So that she could get a home doctor's visit under the guise of a birthday dinner. If it turns out to be Covid-19 and you are infected, then their selfishness will be responsible for many people's suffering - you are an emergency room doctor who would have to remove yourself from helping others until you recovered. Talk about giving the gift that keeps on giving!

[Islesguy]

My precious meal with them had been outdoors and this one would have been too had she not been ill. She is in the ER right now with just the abdominal pain. Her initial blood tests are all normal but the Covid test is not back. She is having other tests as well.

I am feeling well and today is day 4. The standard of care at the hospital at which I work is that exposure does not require self quarantine as long as you are asymptomatic. Mask and social distancing are a must. I have been going in a bit late, leaving a bit early, taking meetings from home by Zoom and keeping my time in the hospital to a minimum. I have been home alone otherwise. Fortunately, for these two weeks, I/ do not have patient care responsibilities so it is easier to keep to myself in my office. It is an odd thought that after 3 months of dealing with Cold patients 8 to 10 hours a day each day 7 days a week, that a birthday dinner has presented me with my most worrisome exposure. Hopefully she will test negative and I can just keep going along.

I do hope you stay healthy and did not contract the virus. It is kind of an ironic situation you are in.

[marylander1940]

This thread and @purplekow 's thread about 'Dinner at a friend's" have a similar theme of blurred lines.

Is he a client or a friend?

Is she a patient or a friend?

 

Maybe some lines need to be black and white and not grey? Which is a pain in the ass, if that's not one's nature.

 

Agreed!

 

May I suggest changing the name of this thread to coulda woulda shoulda goes both ways ?

 

both because of the married couple who did everything right till that infamous dinner and the guest who decide to stay instead of running away from that house. ?

[+ purplekow]

Well this has resulted in a Negative test for her and a lesson for me. She did get admitted to the hospital and is still being evaluated.

Next time I will go with my best instincts irrespective of social niceties, in other words, I would politely exit.

[+ purplekow]

That's better news. Happy belated birthday!

thanks

[Guest]

Wonderful news. I hope you stay well, and I hope she comes out OK. Curious to find out what it was, if it wasn't Covid....