Providers who request a pic

[harlow]

In my experience providers that ask for pics are screening clients. Sometimes I send them and get a positive response. Other times I get ghosted. I posted in another thread about discrimination by escorts. If you can’t accept how I look then you can’t accept my money.

[+ azdr0710]

I send them a photo of my fat cock and see what happens.

 

ha!......welcome back!

[+ Keith30309]

A tough pill to swallow but I think the choice to not allow an escort to see what you look like is primarily insecurity-driven. And I am speaking in general terms, not in the context of receiving a request for a photo. And that’s a you problem, not an us problem. Yes, some escorts are rotten and make such requests for discriminatory purposes, but most of us really do not give a shit. We do not sit around and say “look at this client,” nor have I ever heard a colleague gripe about how a client looks. I feel it is a basic common courtesy. Here in Europe, 90% of my clients send photos along with their initial inquiry or already have profiles filled out with photos on Platforms like Hunqz. I do not ask, nor would I. However, Americans like to call insecurity “discretion,” and I get it but would any of you go meet escorts with no photos? Or even a casual hookup. Doubtful.

 

Hell, even when escorts had to physically walk the streets they at minimum knew what their clients looked like. I realize the culture here is different per engagement with escorts but if you knew that it wouldn’t be used against you in a discriminatory way, would you offer, voluntarily?

There is doubtlessly an element of insecurity with one's physical appearance and the fear of rejection. (as in "Damn... I can't even pay someone to fuck me").

 

However I'm more concerned about privacy.

 

Once a digital likeness of me is on any connected electronic device then I have lost control of it. When I take a selfie with a cute puppy then cloud service app(s) which I may not even be aware are lurking in my devices will swoop in and it has irreversibly slipped out of my fingers until the end of time.

 

If I take the next step and send it to you then the problem is multiplied multi-fold, even if you never have any ill intent toward me. If you are careless with your privacy then I am the victim of your social media app's aggressive surreptitious data grabs, a malicious attack on your device(s), or a casual mistake you may make that can't be undone.

 

It is like an iron curtain - either you allow it to be breached or you don't take that first step. As long as everyone makes an informed choice then half the battle is won. I'm simply not willing to put my privacy into someone else's hands.

 

The SeekingArrangement guys always wanted a selfie... I have some obscured pics that morph the biometrics that I'd send them and that's it. Several refused to meet... I'm fine with that.

 

(The obvious next question is why be so concerned about privacy. It's a harmless pic which is meaningless taken out of the context of the hiring of an escort. Answer: having my image in the public domain does not benefit me - it only has the potential to harm me - therefore I do not allow it.)

[MrMattBig]

There is doubtlessly an element of insecurity with one's physical appearance and the fear of rejection. (as in "Damn... I can't even pay someone to fuck me").

 

However I'm more concerned about privacy.

 

Once a digital likeness of me is on any connected electronic device then I have lost control of it. When I take a selfie with a cute puppy then cloud service app(s) which I may not even be aware are lurking in my devices will swoop in and it has irreversibly slipped out of my fingers until the end of time.

 

If I take the next step and send it to you then the problem is multiplied multi-fold, even if you never have any ill intent toward me. If you are careless with your privacy then I am the victim of your social media app's aggressive surreptitious data grabs, a malicious attack on your device(s), or a casual mistake you may make that can't be undone.

 

It is like an iron curtain - either you allow it to be breached or you don't take that first step. As long as everyone makes an informed choice then half the battle is won. I'm simply not willing to put my privacy into someone else's hands.

 

The SeekingArrangement guys always wanted a selfie... I have some obscured pics that morph the biometrics that I'd send them and that's it. Several refused to meet... I'm fine with that.

 

(The obvious next question is why be so concerned about privacy. It's a harmless pic which is meaningless taken out of the context of the hiring of an escort. Answer: having my image in the public domain does not benefit me - it only has the potential to harm me - therefore I do not allow it.)

I find that throughout all methods of interaction we as Americans behave similarly to what @hypothetically mentions. But I find it's not from a point of insecurity or privacy necessarily. We just rather get information about others than reveal any about ourselves, especially first. I believe sometimes valid concerns about privacy have influenced us as a collective whole to be reluctant to reveal info, whether subconsciously or actively.

I posted a thread before about if others on here either state what they are into or ask a provider first, because I then have to navigate believability by saying everything, worry about turning someone off by saying something too outlandish, or construct a reply that would satisfy the person asking. It really baffles me that, as someone who contacts a provider, why more can't/won't state what they are looking for before or concurrently asking what the provider is into.

[hypothetically]

There is doubtlessly an element of insecurity with one's physical appearance and the fear of rejection. (as in "Damn... I can't even pay someone to fuck me").

 

However I'm more concerned about privacy.

 

Once a digital likeness of me is on any connected electronic device then I have lost control of it. When I take a selfie with a cute puppy then cloud service app(s) which I may not even be aware are lurking in my devices will swoop in and it has irreversibly slipped out of my fingers until the end of time.

 

If I take the next step and send it to you then the problem is multiplied multi-fold, even if you never have any ill intent toward me. If you are careless with your privacy then I am the victim of your social media app's aggressive surreptitious data grabs, a malicious attack on your device(s), or a casual mistake you may make that can't be undone.

 

It is like an iron curtain - either you allow it to be breached or you don't take that first step. As long as everyone makes an informed choice then half the battle is won. I'm simply not willing to put my privacy into someone else's hands.

 

The SeekingArrangement guys always wanted a selfie... I have some obscured pics that morph the biometrics that I'd send them and that's it. Several refused to meet... I'm fine with that.

 

(The obvious next question is why be so concerned about privacy. It's a harmless pic which is meaningless taken out of the context of the hiring of an escort. Answer: having my image in the public domain does not benefit me - it only has the potential to harm me - therefore I do not allow it.)

 

I feel like this is a rather tiresome concern when your privacy, unbeknownst to you, myself and much of the internet, is already gone. You would have to meticulously scrape through terms of service agreements for every application, website, search engine etc. etc. from now until the end of time to ensure your privacy was “safe.” Even then, the language used is so dodgy, it’s hard to even identify where one is agreeing to forfeit their privacy. I understand where you are coming from, and fair point, I do not trust my privacy in the hands of someone I do not know either. But then I guess my next question to you would be, do you trust your privacy in your own hands?

Edited December 8, 2019 by hypothetically

[+ Charlie]

At least a couple of escorts have asked me to send pics. In two instances they thought I was a cop, and wanted to make sure I wasn’t one. I declined.

How would your photo identify you as not a cop? Besides, a real cop would probably send any photo that he thought would entice the provider to continue the interaction.

[caramelsub]

How would your photo identify you as not a cop? Besides, a real cop would probably send any photo that he thought would entice the provider to continue the interaction.

I’m guessing a real cop wouldn’t bother sending a fake photo or real photo of himself. I’m not a legal expert, but I’m assuming there are regulations/policies that prevent cops from sending fake pictures or even real pictures to lure escorts, or on the other side, lure clients. I mean, wouldn’t it be illegal for a cop to get someone’s picture off the internet and send it to an escort saying that it’s his own?

[+ Keith30309]

I feel like this is a rather tiresome concern when your privacy, unbeknownst to you, myself and much of the internet, is already gone. You would have to meticulously scrape through terms of service agreements for every application, website, search engine etc. etc. from now until the end of time to ensure your privacy was “safe.” Even then, the language used is so dodgy, it’s hard to even identify where one is agreeing to forfeit their privacy. I understand where you are coming from, and fair point, I do not trust my privacy in the hands of someone else either. But then I guess my next question to you would be, do you trust your privacy in your own hands?

Less and less every day. But at some point you have to make a decision to “plug in” in order to participate. I just try to make myself as small a target as possible - no social media (tumblr, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Grindr, LinkedIn, Snapchat, Reddit, etc) and other things like Google under various evolving aliases verified by voip numbers that disappear as soon as the account is validated from behind a vpn. I use protonmail and telegraph where possible.

Make myself the highest hanging fruit, as it were.

Sorry... a bit off topic from the OP

[MrMattBig]

How would your photo identify you as not a cop? Besides, a real cop would probably send any photo that he thought would entice the provider to continue the interaction.

I’m guessing a real cop wouldn’t bother sending a fake photo or real photo of himself. I’m not a legal expert, but I’m assuming there are regulations/policies that prevent cops from sending fake pictures or even real pictures to lure escorts, or on the other side, lure clients. I mean, wouldn’t it be illegal for a cop to get someone’s picture off the internet and send it to an escort saying that it’s his own?

More importantly, a cop would be less likely to have the patience to send a pic and go along with other intricacies of setting an appointment. It will be more them asking if a provider does certain acts for certain amounts, or asking any number of sexual questions. That's why it is better, as a prospective client, to just say what YOU are into (similar to a I like walk on the beach statement) and then ask if you guys are a match when available etc. Asking for a pic is a slight, super slight way to deter law enforcement, and a lame one at that.

[+ José Soplanucas]

Those two things are not equivalent. The fact that the client has seen pictures of the provider does not obligate the client to reciprocate. This is a transaction, a quid-pro-quo, not a date. The provider offers his face and physique—the “quid”—and the client offers money—the “quo.” If the provider has to vet his clients for attractiveness then he’s in the wrong business.

 

I happen to disagree. Besides the fact that there are successful providers who do vet clients for attractiveness, asking for a picture does not necessarily means so. Putting a face to the person you are about to fuck with is always welcome by everyone.

Your money does not entitle you to whatever you think it is the qui and the quo. A deal is between two parts, the provider has all the rights to set up his own terms whether or not you like it.

[David1024]

I had never been asked for a picture until this year when I’ve had three guys, very politely ask if I would be willing to send a picture, in each case they said no problem if not. Two were well established, well reviewed escorts. I did send pictures and the meet ups were very positive. For a newcomer, or someone that raised suspicion in some way, I would not.

[Guest]

I send them a pic of a friend who is a model. If they can fraud on their pics, we can fraud on ours.

 

One Latino provider kept texting me back, "Guapo Señor!"

[sydneyboy]

What do you do if an escort asks you to send a pic before meeting? Happened to me recently and I ghosted the dude.

Find another escort. There are plenty of fish in the sea.

[hypothetically]

Find another escort. There are plenty of fish in the sea.

 

..and fishermen with not enough “bait.”

[MikeBiDude]

I’ve never had a problem sending a pic. When I do I use pics of me that are easily availability on other social media and websites. My (perhaps naive) assumption that if I’m using pictures already “out there” I lessen the possibility of getting “shaken down” in one way or another. So many pics are stolen nowadays...I would just assert the same in foiling any Foolish extortion attempts.

[+ oldNbusted]

What do you do if an escort asks you to send a pic before meeting? Happened to me recently and I ghosted the dude.

 

I don't reply.

 

A tough pill to swallow but I think the choice to not allow an escort to see what you look like is primarily insecurity-driven.

 

I think you are making a slightly different point, but I can address at least one small part of it. It's not insecurity for me to acknowledge I am not attractive. My feeling is that if this matters, I am not a match, so a pic request is the end of the dialog.

 

 

There is doubtlessly an element of insecurity with one's physical appearance and the fear of rejection. (as in "Damn... I can't even pay someone to fuck me").

 

However I'm more concerned about privacy.

 

Once a digital likeness of me is on any connected electronic device then I have lost control of it. When I take a selfie with a cute puppy then cloud service app(s) which I may not even be aware are lurking in my devices will swoop in and it has irreversibly slipped out of my fingers until the end of time.

 

If I take the next step and send it to you then the problem is multiplied multi-fold, even if you never have any ill intent toward me. If you are careless with your privacy then I am the victim of your social media app's aggressive surreptitious data grabs, a malicious attack on your device(s), or a casual mistake you may make that can't be undone.

 

It is like an iron curtain - either you allow it to be breached or you don't take that first step. As long as everyone makes an informed choice then half the battle is won. I'm simply not willing to put my privacy into someone else's hands.

 

The SeekingArrangement guys always wanted a selfie... I have some obscured pics that morph the biometrics that I'd send them and that's it. Several refused to meet... I'm fine with that.

 

(The obvious next question is why be so concerned about privacy. It's a harmless pic which is meaningless taken out of the context of the hiring of an escort. Answer: having my image in the public domain does not benefit me - it only has the potential to harm me - therefore I do not allow it.)

 

 

This is all correct.

 

 

...do you trust your privacy in your own hands?

 

I do. I realize that if someone is targeting me and they are willing to work hard enough, there is a good chance they can find out who I am. But I can easily make that very hard work indeed.

[MrMattBig]

I don't reply.

 

Sorry, nothing against you, partially fueled by other interactions I am having today but....

 

can we all start acting like adults and be upfront and transparent?

Don't continue to add to the ghosting culture and not respond...you don't want to send pic, say so.

if you are looking for certain interests, say so. If you changed you mind or can't make it say so...even if it is a made up excuse. Stop ghosting and not responding!!

 

rant over.

[Mo Mason]

I send the picture. Often I send it before I'm asked. I'm more comfortable knowing that he's seen what I look like before I open the hotel room door.

 

But discretion isn't very important to me. I have my face pic on Rentmen.

[hypothetically]

Sorry, nothing against you, partially fueled by other interactions I am having today but....

 

can we all start acting like adults and be upfront and transparent?

Don't continue to add to the ghosting culture and not respond...you don't want to send pic, say so.

if you are looking for certain interests, say so. If you changed you mind or can't make it say so...even if it is a made up excuse. Stop ghosting and not responding!!

 

rant over.

 

[Smurof]

This should simply not happen. They're being sought out, not the other way around. It's an encounter, not a date.

[+ oldNbusted]

Sorry, nothing against you, partially fueled by other interactions I am having today but....

 

can we all start acting like adults and be upfront and transparent?

Don't continue to add to the ghosting culture and not respond...you don't want to send pic, say so.

if you are looking for certain interests, say so. If you changed you mind or can't make it say so...even if it is a made up excuse. Stop ghosting and not responding!!

 

rant over.

 

 

That's OK, I'm not taking it personally. I think I've explained elsewhere that since at this point in a conversation with a guy, I'm no longer willing to meet him, I don't feel like I need to add to the unread message count in his inbox. He's free to run his business how he likes and I feel like any reply can be misconstrued as a message that he can't.

 

We also live in the age where people say they do the exact opposite of what they actually do. The only way I can make clear I'm not one of those people is to say nothing. I really have no interest in getting into any kind of back and forth, but my reply invites a response. Then what? With some guys, at some point it's going to be me that stops responding, so why not sooner than later?

 

Regarding the rest of it, I don't contact someone unless I plan to meet them, my first message includes what I want, and time windows, and an offer for a short phone call if wanted. My RM profile, which does not contain any pics of me, links to my reviews. If the guy is agreeable, he just needs to say when, approximately where, and how much. If the answers are agreeable to me, I confirm. It can be that easy. Trust me when I say, I don't lose any sleep if it doesn't work out.

[marylander1940]

Thanks but no thanks

[+ kent]

What do you do if an escort asks you to send a pic before meeting? Happened to me recently and I ghosted the dude.

Either decline or move on. A mutual encounter/social-app situation, yes. In the type of professional context we're discussing, never.

[tenderloin]

Sexual chemistry is crucial to me. Few things worse than being with a guy who isn't into it. I would rather know that in advance and not have to deal with the disappointing appointment. If he gets my pic and declines, I just think "how awful would it have been to be lying next to him watching him try to get hard....?"

[Ernesto]

That’s the thing. Escort, paid companion, whore, whatever, these men want your money, not you. If you’re looking for a connection get a real date.