Most awkward moments during massage

[+ Jamesp]

What are the most awkward moments during massage you have been through? Sometimes they are hilarious but most of the time they are mood killers. Burping, Stomach rumbling are common. Farts are sometimes and most of the time if that happens, I leave politely ( Can't stand stink and generally face is at same level as source of stink).

 

My most memorable hilarious moment was in NY. Masseur slipped on oil on the floor and fell. In the process to avoid fall, he tried holding table and table leg gave in. Next thing I know I was on floor too. We made loud noise while falling. I was sleek with oil and couldn't get up and kept falling. I think it was loud enough that neighbour below started banging ceiling. It was comical.

[+ nycman]

My most awkward moment......

 

In a Muslim country. Massage by a young female in full burka drag....

As if that wasn’t strange enough.....then with me face down she goes to

the head of the table, lifts my hands up over my head, and pushes my

hands together prayer like. Then she proceeds to ram my hands into

her burka covered vagina repeatedly and quiet forcefully.....

 

......awkward!

[Bluefin]

Masseur was riding me on the massage table and it collapsed. We carried on and then as I was getting dressed asked if I would pay for half of a new one.

[Likes good stuff]

Lol.

[Bearman]

I was in a foreign country and getting what I though was a "legitimate" massage. I assumed I'd made it clear, since I was suffering from lower back pain and we discussed my discomfort beforehand. Towards the end the masseur suddenly proceeded to give me head for a "happy ending"! I wasn't erect at any point because of my level of pain and discomfort. Startled I stopped him, he was a little taken aback and asked me sadly if I didn't like him or wasn't attracted to him! I had to explain in simpler English that I did indeed find him handsome but that it just wasn't what I needed at the moment. I had to assure him several times it wasn't him but me since he was clearly hurt. We awkwardly ended the massage and when I gave him payment he said it was too much and gave me a few bills back saying that he had quoted the price for a "happy ending massage"! He then gave me his personal cell number and asked me to call him next time I was in the country so we could go for coffee! I've never encountered such honesty in pricing nor a provider that was attracted to me since I'm a middle aged overweight bear! Later I found out the masseur was a well known "Daddy Bear chaser" in the local bear community.

[Lewis H]

My most awkward moment......

 

In a Muslim country. Massage by a young female in full burka drag....

As if that wasn’t strange enough.....then with me face down she goes to

the head of the table, lifts my hands up over my head, and pushes my

hands together prayer like. Then she proceeds to ram my hands into

her burka covered vagina repeatedly and quiet forcefully.....

 

......awkward!

YIKES! I'd run out of there immediately.

[bendable2019]

My most awkward moment......

 

In a Muslim country. Massage by a young female in full burka drag....

As if that wasn’t strange enough.....then with me face down she goes to

the head of the table, lifts my hands up over my head, and pushes my

hands together prayer like. Then she proceeds to ram my hands into

her burka covered vagina repeatedly and quiet forcefully.....

 

......awkward!

 

She should have played Madonna’s “Like A Prayer” as prelude lol ?✌️?

[+ glutes]

She should have played Madonna’s “Like A Prayer” as prelude lol ?✌️?

 

Or, "Like A Virgin".

Edited May 18, 2019 by Oaktown

[Dmitri]

Back when Craigslist was still around, I found an intriguing massage ad. The masseur's photos were hot, and I booked a massage session. I forget his name, but let's call him Tim. When I knocked at his door, he answered, and was jaw dropping HOT! As I entered the house, I heard the TV on in the living room. He pulled me to the side before we entered the living room, and said he had shared custody of his 10 year old son, who was watching TV. He said we would walk past his son, and go upstairs to the massage room, shutting the door of the massage room , of course, and proceed with the massage. UGH! AWKWARD!! I was going to leave, but Tim was smoking hot (in the Coast Guard). We walked past his son, who looked up, and his dad introduced me and said "Dmitri is my friend, and we are going upstairs to sign some papers" His son shrugged, and upstairs with Tim I went. We both stripped down, and proceeded to have a HOT massage session, all the time I could hear the TV on downstairs, knowing his son was down there. When Tim had his orgasm, he let out a loud yell that made the roof shake! I thought, signing papers is never this loud! After the massage was over, we got dressed, and Tim then grabbed a pile of papers and a pen from another room. As we walked through the living room, papers and pen in hand, the son said "Did you sign the papers, Dad?" And Tim said "Yes, the papers are all signed" (?) There was no awkward "moment"....the entire situation was awkward! I quickly left, and never looked back!

Edited May 18, 2019 by Dmitri

[MscleLovr]

For me, the “awkward moment” occurred when I was getting a massage in Cape Town some years ago. It was the first time I’d visited this particular masseur (an American expat in South Africa) and it was at his home. I had booked and expected a therapeutic massage.

 

I was facedown on the table. I’d told him I like quite strong pressure and the massage was pretty good...when he began to rim me. I raised my butt and he became more enthusiastic: he was very good with his tongue; I began to moan with pleasure; he stopped and asked me to keep quiet as he didn’t want his (unseen by me) partner to hear me; I complied and he resumed rimming me. When I turned onto my back, he sucked me off.

[Ajac]

A massage where the picture of wife and kids are directly in view the whole time. Being introduced to a masseur's Mom on the way out. Masseur falling asleep on my back. His dead taxidermy cat in view across from the table. A masseur that looked like a doppelgänger for a killer in a movie I had seen the weekend before. Pick your favorite.

[Ajac]

What are the most awkward moments during massage you have been through? Sometimes they are hilarious but most of the time they are mood killers. Burping, Stomach rumbling are common. Farts are sometimes and most of the time if that happens, I leave politely ( Can't stand stink and generally face is at same level as source of stink).

 

My most memorable hilarious moment was in NY. Masseur slipped on oil on the floor and fell. In the process to avoid fall, he tried holding table and table leg gave in. Next thing I know I was on floor too. We made loud noise while falling. I was sleek with oil and couldn't get up and kept falling. I think it was loud enough that neighbour below started banging ceiling. It was comical.

Wow I fully pictured the scene in my mind and laughed out loud.

[MscleLovr]

A massage where the picture of wife and kids are directly in view the whole time. Being introduced to a masseur's Mom on the way out. Masseur falling asleep on my back. His dead taxidermy cat in view across from the table. A masseur that looked like a doppelgänger for a killer in a movie I had seen the weekend before. Pick your favorite.

 

You’ve really lived life to the full @Ajac ;-)

[woodworker]

Table was in what I assumed was his daughter's bedroom because there were shelves full of dolls. During massage he talked and talked and talked about his passion for collectible dolls and before I left he introduced me to some of the dolls like he thought they were alive. I hope he was on drugs.

[bendable2019]

Back when Craigslist was still around, I found an intriguing massage ad. The masseur's photos were hot, and I booked a massage session. I forget his name, but let's call him Tim. When I knocked at his door, he answered, and was jaw dropping HOT! As I entered the house, I heard the TV on in the living room. He pulled me to the side before we entered the living room, and said he had shared custody of his 10 year old son, who was watching TV. He said we would walk past his son, and go upstairs to the massage room, shutting the door of the massage room , of course, and proceed with the massage. UGH! AWKWARD!! I was going to leave, but Tim was smoking hot (in the Coast Guard). We walked past his son, who looked up, and his dad introduced me and said "Dmitri is my friend, and we are going upstairs to sign some papers" His son shrugged, and upstairs with Tim I went. We both stripped down, and proceeded to have a HOT massage session, all the time I could hear the TV on downstairs, knowing his son was down there. When Tim had his orgasm, he let out a loud yell that made the roof shake! I thought, signing papers is never this loud! After the massage was over, we got dressed, and Tim then grabbed a pile of papers and a pen from another room. As we walked through the living room, papers and pen in hand, the son said "Did you sign the papers, Dad?" And Tim said "Yes, the papers are all signed" (?) There was no awkward "moment"....the entire situation was awkward! I quickly left, and never looked back!

 

Hahaha this is too funny... you should have replied yeah there were a few Oooh and ouch moments in the document so I had to make a lot of ah-moan-ments ???

[Nickf66]

Was out of town on business/vacation and attended a dinner-theater with co-workers - great seats within arms reach of the cast. Couldn’t keep my eyes off a really hot dancer who was in a number of scenes. After the show, the cast was in the lobby greeting patrons and Mr. Hottie was pleasant but in a hurry to wrap it up. Two days later, I see an ad online for a masseur who indicated he was “in town” for only a few weeks. Could it be? I made an appointment and sure enough, turned out to be the dancer. Had an outstanding session. Yep, I saw the production two more times, and was thoroughly “relaxed” by the time the show moved on. I occasionally check his tours to see if our paths might cross again. No, it wasn’t an awkward moment by any means, just “interesting”.

[+ Socalguy]

A massage where the picture of wife and kids are directly in view the whole time. Being introduced to a masseur's Mom on the way out. Masseur falling asleep on my back. His dead taxidermy cat in view across from the table. A masseur that looked like a doppelgänger for a killer in a movie I had seen the weekend before. Pick your favorite.

OMG! I would totally give up on massages!! LMAO!!

[+ glutes]

A masseur told me his girlfriend was there in the room us, mid-way thru session. When I asked where, he said "She's wrapped in the (floor length) curtains over by the window".

She was!

[RunnerGuy]

What are the most awkward moments during massage you have been through? Sometimes they are hilarious but most of the time they are mood killers. Burping, Stomach rumbling are common. Farts are sometimes and most of the time if that happens, I leave politely ( Can't stand stink and generally face is at same level as source of stink).

 

My most memorable hilarious moment was in NY. Masseur slipped on oil on the floor and fell. In the process to avoid fall, he tried holding table and table leg gave in. Next thing I know I was on floor too. We made loud noise while falling. I was sleek with oil and couldn't get up and kept falling. I think it was loud enough that neighbour below started banging ceiling. It was comical.

 

I had a very similar experience. The masseur had done a fantastic full body massage, including reflexology foot work -- which I love.

 

He forgot to wipe the oil off my feet, and in my relaxed bliss I didn't notice. I walked over to the restroom and wiped out on the floor, almost ripping the towel rack that I had used to catch myself off the wall.

 

I apologized profusely but he did even more, regretting to have not wiped off the excess oil. I gave him a big tip for the repair.

 

The other time I went to see a guy that was allegedly a pro. I was disappointed it was a bed instead of a table and there wasn't even a towel, just some blankets. Very fuzzy blankets.

 

I was either allergic to the material or having the wooly bits up my nose. He was using deep pressure so my face was really in it. The irritation was too much and I sneezed all over my own face and lay in it for awhile.

[wbtravis]

My awkward moment resulted in what started out great - HOT Masseur stripping during last 30 min to show a beautiful hard cock. He stroked me, and I stroked him. He hopped on table and straddled me - hand behind him stroking me, while I kept working his hot shaft. I came a nice load, then he came on my chest. I thought we were done, and he asked - “would you like to cum?”. I was confused - I made all the faces, you know? I said, “I... I did already”, not sure how he could not know. Wasn’t his hand covered?

That’s when he asked, “IN me?”. I about levitated. He could see I was freaked out. I asked, “Are you at least on PrEP?”. His answer was, “I used to be. Didn’t think I needed it anymore.”

He and I hadn’t had word - 1 about safety or stats. I was pretty freaked. Went on PEP as a precaution. That was one EXPENSIVE massage.

[Dmitri]

My awkward moment resulted in what started out great - HOT Masseur stripping during last 30 min to show a beautiful hard cock. He stroked me, and I stroked him. He hopped on table and straddled me - hand behind him stroking me, while I kept working his hot shaft. I came a nice load, then he came on my chest. I thought we were done, and he asked - “would you like to cum?”. I was confused - I made all the faces, you know? I said, “I... I did already”, not sure how he could not know. Wasn’t his hand covered?

That’s when he asked, “IN me?”. I about levitated. He could see I was freaked out. I asked, “Are you at least on PrEP?”. His answer was, “I used to be. Didn’t think I needed it anymore.”

He and I hadn’t had word - 1 about safety or stats. I was pretty freaked. Went on PEP as a precaution. That was one EXPENSIVE massage.

 

 

Sorry for your bad experience. Wow.....that masseur was an idiot. If he was asking you to cum inside him, then he obviously asks other clients to do that. His response of course makes NO sense about not needing to be on PrEP. It is the opposite. He NEEDS to be on PrEP if he is having complete strangers cum inside him, and also putting clients such as yourself at risk. 2 things I always do during an erotic massage session: 1) I never go intoxicated in any way...alcohol, weed, etc. so that way I can keep track of what is going on. 2) I never get caught up in the moment when it gets sexual and lose track of what is going on. You never know what a masseur is going to do, so you need to be on guard at all times.

[sdvjm]

My most awkward moment......

 

In a Muslim country. Massage by a young female in full burka drag....

As if that wasn’t strange enough.....then with me face down she goes to

the head of the table, lifts my hands up over my head, and pushes my

hands together prayer like. Then she proceeds to ram my hands into

her burka covered vagina repeatedly and quiet forcefully.....

 

......awkward!

 

Thats awful!

[sdvjm]

A masseur told me his girlfriend was there in the room us, mid-way thru session. When I asked where, he said "She's wrapped in the (floor length) curtains over by the window".

She was!

 

LOL OMG thats freaky!

[Cooper]

@Jamesp. Great topic & fun to read replies.

 

My awkward moment was also an extremely embarrassing one. When getting a massage at Hero there’s a knock on the door & 2 plain clothed cops enter. They were being raided.

 

One took the masseur out & the other (rookie) tells me to stand up. Well, I was literally caught with my pants down & at full attention.

 

After a few more cops looked in I was told to get dressed & wait outside. No questions were asked of me & no info was taken.

 

As a result, Hero was closed for a brief time. Thankfully, no hidden cameras or Robert Kraft like treatment.

[+ glutes]

@Jamesp

One took the masseur out & the other (rookie) tells me to stand up. Well, I was literally caught with my pants down & at full attention.

 

https://www.videoblocks.com/video/animated-dog-character-stand-to-attention-bql8yrfsizjd9ew1pf