Saying I’m Just not that into you, let me count the ways

[ChicagoGuy]

So this happened just now. I contacted an escort who will be visiting from Canada. Responded promptly to my inquiry on location and rate. He then asked me what I am into and for a bit of a description of myself. So I mentioned my likes, which are very simple, vanilla stuff like kissing, oral fun, erotic massages, etc. I also mentioned I prefer to bottom. And to describe myself a little, I mentioned the usual: my ethnicity, age, body type and height. A few seconds later this is the text I got: “To be honest I already have a weekend of bottoms, looking for tops at the moment.” I hate to say it but the word ‘racist’ kind of crossed my mind several times. Also, bigot, ageist and ‘a**hole. LOL! Eventually I settled for ‘The dang provider is just not that into you, man!’… Did I get that correctly? Or was he just picky? He charges $300 an hour and does mention versatile in his RM ad. Isn’t $300 just the same whether it came from a top or bottom? I have never heard of a versatile provider saying what he did. Not really interested in the reasons why because everyone is prejudiced in some ways whether we admit it, even in providing this type of service. Just want to know from y’all what lines you give to prospect clients to say ‘not interested’ based on the initial text message exchange.

[MrMattBig]

Could be not into you, or could be taking only tops so he won't have to worry about getting it up for one more client after a weekend of doing so.

Could be both, who knows.

Either way he went about it very distastefully in my opinion.

[+ nycman]

“To be honest I already have a weekend of bottoms, looking for tops at the moment.” I hate to say it but the word ‘racist’ kind of crossed my mind several times. Also, bigot, ageist and ‘a**hole.

You got all that from “I’m looking for tops at the moment”?

 

Seriously dude....your paranoid insecurities are showing.

 

Take it at face value and don’t overthink it.

 

It’s not a match...move on. Too many fish.....

[hypothetically]

So this happened just now. I contacted an escort who will be visiting from Canada. Responded promptly to my inquiry on location and rate. He then asked me what I am into and for a bit of a description of myself. So I mentioned my likes, which are very simple, vanilla stuff like kissing, oral fun, erotic massages, etc. I also mentioned I prefer to bottom. And to describe myself a little, I mentioned the usual: my ethnicity, age, body type and height. A few seconds later this is the text I got: “To be honest I already have a weekend of bottoms, looking for tops at the moment.” I hate to say it but the word ‘racist’ kind of crossed my mind several times. Also, bigot, ageist and ‘a**hole. LOL! Eventually I settled for ‘The dang provider is just not that into you, man!’… Did I get that correctly? Or was he just picky? He charges $300 an hour and does mention versatile in his RM ad. Isn’t $300 just the same whether it came from a top or bottom? I have never heard of a versatile provider saying what he did. Not really interested in the reasons why because everyone is prejudiced in some ways whether we admit it, even in providing this type of service. Just want to know from y’all what lines you give to prospect clients to say ‘not interested’ based on the initial text message exchange.

 

“To be honest I already have a weekend of bottoms, looking for tops at the moment.”

 

First thing I want you to do is provide for us in the above statement what you thought was “racist” and why that qualified the provider to be called a bigot, ageist or an asshole in your mind.

 

Second, a provider is ALWAYS entitled to decline service to a client he does not want to offer services to. Now his reasoning, that’s on him. But no one ever has to service you because you rang.

 

Third, if he is indeed versatile and truly did have a “weekend of bottoms and looking for tops,” GOOD FOR HIM for seeking some pleasure of his own after a weekend of hard work. Most escorts simply want you to get off and that translates in the experience. Unfortunate you got turned down but if he is indeed seeking pleasure out of his experiences with clients, he’s on the right track.

[ChicagoGuy]

You got all that from “I’m looking for tops at the moment”?

 

Seriously dude....your paranoid insecurities are showing.

 

Take it at face value and don’t overthink it.

 

It’s not a match...move on. Too many fish.....

That’s why i said i ended up saying he’s just not that into you as a client because the thoughts before that seem untrue. Just asking how others refuse clients so I would get the hint next time without going through such thoughts.

[hypothetically]

That’s why i said i ended up saying he’s just not that into you as a client because the thoughts before that seem untrue. Just asking how others refuse clients so I would get the hint next time without going through such thoughts.

 

Delivery of refusal of services isn’t the issue, friend. Only you can control your thought process regarding rejection, regardless of how it’s handed to you.

[manTOman]

I really wouldn't take it personally. Maybe he was a bit too blunt and could have come up with a different explanation, but I do appreciate his honesty over him booking you and then giving you a half ass service. Some guys say upfront that they won't book more than a client a day. They know their body and what they can and cannot do. I find that respectable. And even if he's not into you whatever way he says it is doing you a favor and saving you time and money that you would have wasted otherwise.

If you're really into him try again at another time just to be sure if it was really bad timing or if you're really not a match. On the other hand in a market as great as Chicago I'm pretty sure you won't have problems finding someone who will knock your socks off.

[+ Reisr30]

That’s why i said i ended up saying he’s just not that into you as a client because the thoughts before that seem untrue. Just asking how others refuse clients so I would get the hint next time without going through such thoughts.

 

I can see why you might have taken it that way. It sounds like he changed his mind right after you gave him your stats and then he said he wasn’t looking for other bottoms as an excuse.

 

It’s happened to me before where I give my stats to someone trying to set up a meeting and then they do a 180 almost immediately. I don’t take it personally anymore. Actually I prefer when they bluntly say “we’re not a match”. Sometimes it almost like asking for an actual date; you get rejected and need to move on...

 

That’s also why i now only reach out to well reviewed guys. I have rarely had an issue with them and they tend to be extremely professional and don’t mind meeting a guy who is not super good looking .

[ChicagoGuy]

Spot on! Oh he is very well reviewed actually. And yes being upfront is much appreciated. Hence the question about how else rejections are expressed so as not to spend too much time with the back and forth.

[+ bashful]

Actually I prefer when they bluntly say “we’re not a match”.

 

My preference too. Not only during initial communication, but once we meet.

[+ jeezopete]

could be taking only tops so he won't have to worry about getting it up for one more client after a weekend of doing so.

 

Though I admit, even at my age I can be naive at times, this sounds very plausible & reasonable to me.

[MrMattBig]

Though I admit, even at my age I can be naive at times, this sounds very plausible & reasonable to me.

It's is definitely plausible and I implore a practice that's both similar but very different. I like to maintain the possibility of both topping and bottoming for every session, so I like to spread my appointments out to ensure my capabilities to do so. If someone inquires for a date or time that I know my abilities might be questionable, I reply back that I am unavailable or booked for that day and either suggest a different date and time or ask them what other availability they have in their schedule.

[+ Tarte Gogo]

I hate to say it but the word ‘racist’ kind of crossed my mind several times. Also, bigot, ageist and ‘a**hole. LOL!

 

I hate to say it but there are very weird ideas crossing your mind several times.

[MscleLovr]

Hence the question about how else rejections are expressed so as not to spend too much time with the back and forth.

 

I know you asked this of escorts @ChicagoGuy but here’s my view on how you avoid wasting time and energy in seeking a date.

 

I used to send a first (polite and short) text/email with my stats, and setting out my interests (eg deep kissing, BFE, I’m top only) and suggested date/time. I simply ask if we are compatible.

 

If I had a response of No or No interest, I moved on. I never cared why we were not compatible. I focused on having a great date and avoiding a bad one.

[Monarchy79]

Regardless of the reasons, I find it admirable for an escort to turn a potential client down.

 

It’s better than taking a client’s money, with no intent on providing good services.

[Rudynate]

So this happened just now. I contacted an escort who will be visiting from Canada. Responded promptly to my inquiry on location and rate. He then asked me what I am into and for a bit of a description of myself. So I mentioned my likes, which are very simple, vanilla stuff like kissing, oral fun, erotic massages, etc. I also mentioned I prefer to bottom. And to describe myself a little, I mentioned the usual: my ethnicity, age, body type and height. A few seconds later this is the text I got: “To be honest I already have a weekend of bottoms, looking for tops at the moment.” I hate to say it but the word ‘racist’ kind of crossed my mind several times. Also, bigot, ageist and ‘a**hole. LOL! Eventually I settled for ‘The dang provider is just not that into you, man!’… Did I get that correctly? Or was he just picky? He charges $300 an hour and does mention versatile in his RM ad. Isn’t $300 just the same whether it came from a top or bottom? I have never heard of a versatile provider saying what he did. Not really interested in the reasons why because everyone is prejudiced in some ways whether we admit it, even in providing this type of service. Just want to know from y’all what lines you give to prospect clients to say ‘not interested’ based on the initial text message exchange.

 

 

I called a well known escort from NY once, who was going to be visiting in SF, to book a session. As I was speaking, he interrupted me to say, "We're not a match." I asked, "How do you know?" He said, "A feeling." I said "Well, Ok," and hung up.

I was disappointed and mad, but I lived through it.

[+ BuzzBuddy]

It's is definitely plausible and I implore a practice that's both similar but very different. I like to maintain the possibility of both topping and bottoming for every session, so I like to spread my appointments out to ensure my capabilities to do so. If someone inquires for a date or time that I know my abilities might be questionable, I reply back that I am unavailable or booked for that day and either suggest a different date and time or ask them what other availability they have in their schedule.

Thank you. Spot on. A true professional offers options. Customer service isn’t only for Apple and Microsoft.

[The Dude]

I’m still trying to figure out how you landed on ‘racist’ from his reply

[rvwnsd]

I called a well known escort from NY once, who was going to be visiting in SF, to book a session. As I was speaking, he interrupted me to say, "We're not a match." I asked, "How do you know?" He said, "A feeling." I said "Well, Ok," and hung up.

I was disappointed and mad, but I lived through it.

Same happened to me with a guy in Palm Springs. Felt the same as you do.

 

So this happened just now. I contacted an escort who will be visiting from Canada. Responded promptly to my inquiry on location and rate. He then asked me what I am into and for a bit of a description of myself. So I mentioned my likes, which are very simple, vanilla stuff like kissing, oral fun, erotic massages, etc. I also mentioned I prefer to bottom. And to describe myself a little, I mentioned the usual: my ethnicity, age, body type and height. A few seconds later this is the text I got: “To be honest I already have a weekend of bottoms, looking for tops at the moment.” ...

It feels to me like you are over-thinkig this. A bunch of bottoms got to him before you did. Now he wants to be on the bottom. Seems fair to me. I wouldn't be thrilled to have received that response, but it also would not make me think he is a bigot, racist, or asshole. To me, he saved you from a potentially lackluster experience.