Would you rather go to a bathhouse or gay bar?

[+ Pensant]

I always found bathhouses rather seedy; but, I admit I’m kind of a prude.

[hypothetically]

I don't know about East or West Side Club in 2019, but there are a plethora of nude 'theme' parties at Paddles.

 

..if you want tetanus or staph. It’s also a death trap. That place is vile. There are generous loft-style sex parties in rotation where you can get your cruise on in a much sexier setting. Hell, go to The Cock. Paddles, that’s cancelled.

[Rudynate]

Geez, just imagine if that happens and word gets out that all thee women are now going to the baths, maybe there will be an influx of hot straight guys showing up at the baths. Some readers here might love that.

 

 

In the 70s, in San Francisco, there was a bathhouse for whomever-_gay men, lesbians , straight women, straight guys. It was the Sutro Baths on Valencia. It didn't last long, it might have been before it's time. I heard that the crowd was mostly straight women looking for gay men to convert.

[BaronArtz]

..if you want tetanus or staph. It’s also a death trap. That place is vile. There are generous loft-style sex parties in rotation where you can get your cruise on in a much sexier setting. Hell, go to The Cock. Paddles, that’s cancelled.

 

That is absolutely correct. Paddles is the bottom of the pit. But some people love that. I don't happen to be one of these people.

[+ Italiano]

Neither are worth an honorable mention. How they are still operating, I do not know.

I wish I had met YOU sometimes there in the past, @hypothetically ...

[hypothetically]

Honest question: If there were sufficient separation of the various interest groups and a live and let live ethos all around, how would you feel about a place where people (not just men) met to pair off (or more) in various configurations? Or even when there is no judgment or interference, being in an all-male environment is important? Do you see that continuing to be true as homophobia recedes?

 

This place exist. Berghain in Berlin on New Year’s Day. Berghain, known for being judgement and interference free is already a mecca of debauchary and sex in its truest form. The sex club in the basement (Lab.Oratory) which usually only hosts men is co-ed on NYD. It makes for an interesting dynamic and an array of possibilities. I’ll let your imagination do the rest.

[+ José Soplanucas]

Honest question: If there were sufficient separation of the various interest groups and a live and let live ethos all around, how would you feel about a place where people (not just men) met to pair off (or more) in various configurations? Or even when there is no judgment or interference, being in an all-male environment is important? Do you see that continuing to be true as homophobia recedes?

Hopefully we are moving to a culture where we can mingle in one place to have sex in all possible configurations. If you ask to a younger crowd, you would probably have a more open minded attitude towards this perspective.

[Inkdnaija00]

Gay bar

[+ quoththeraven]

This place exist. Berghain in Berlin on New Year’s Day. Berghain, known for being judgement and interference free is already a mecca of debauchary and sex in its truest form. The sex club in the basement (Lab.Oratory) which usually only hosts men is co-ed on NYD. It makes for an interesting dynamic and an array of possibilities. I’ll let your imagination do the rest.

I believe this is also true of Winterfire, which is an annual kink/alt-sex conference held on Presidents Day weekend at the same Hyatt in DC as hosts MAL. There are seminars during the day, playtime at night. As I understand it, it was originally het or predominantly so, but has since branched out. I suspect, however, that there's more public female/female contact than male/male.

[+ tassojunior]

I've only been to a bathhouse in the US once and it wasn't interesting to me. Way too risky and dangerous given the ease with which many sexually transmitted infections are spread.

 

http://fortune.com/2019/03/02/sexually-transmitted-infections-diseases/

 

If I were to seek socialization with men interested in men, I would probably check out "gay lounges" or "gay bars." I may be wrong, but I strongly doubt there's much socializing in a US gay bathhouse. They strike me as singularly focused on getting laid. I do enjoy spas around the world though because the ones I've been to have been chill socialization spaces. But, my experiences are probably limited.

 

Beth Midler used to perform at the Continental Baths in NYC. (Clothed)

[+ WilliamM]

Beth Midler used to perform at the Continental Baths in NYC. (Clothed)

 

Was she performing at the Continental Baths around early 1970s? If so, that was not a long time after Judy Garland died in June 1969. Judy visited gay bars and did sing sometimes, but it was not planning (and if she also sang in bathhouses, I do no know).

[+ Charlie]

Yes, Bette did perform at the Continental Baths in the early 1970s. I saw her there.

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

Yes, Bette did perform at the Continental Baths in the early 1970s. I saw her there.

 

And for extra credit, can you name her pianist/arranger who played her bath gigs? No googling

[+ Yellowrod]

And for extra credit, can you name her pianist/arranger who played her bath gigs? No googling

 

Wasn't it Barry Manilow?

[BabyBoomer]

Wasn't it Barry Manilow?

 

Yes. That was before "Mandy".

 

~Boomer~

[MassageDrew]

Gay bar 100%

 

Been to the local Steamworks here and realized it’s just not my scene.

[RandyC]

I had some fun at The Club in Ft Lauderdale last weekend. The had their Res-Erection party and it was fun

[+ Charlie]

And for extra credit, can you name her pianist/arranger who played her bath gigs? No googling

I think I later learned it was Barry Manilow (my fellow citizen here in Palm Springs), although I didn't know who he was at that time.

[Mocha]

Gay bar 100%

 

Been to the local Steamworks here and realized it’s just not my scene.

 

The bars in Chicago ARE bathhouses lol. Atleast the...I forgot what it’s called. Jackhammer? Was quite “active” lol. It’s fun though.

[Mocha]

For me, this ongoing discussion raises the crux of why I enjoy baths: You can't bullshit a bathhouse.

 

Unlike Grindr, where people Facetune/edit/crop/morph the hell out of their profile pictures, a bath is face-front and for better or worse, the most honest way to hook up. You can make a snap decision as to whether you want to mess around with the guy or keep walking. No harm, no foul.

 

Well...there’s some real people on Grindr. I actually met a guy there who I was for sure was a fake, but everything about him was real.

Almost one of those “he’s out of league” types.

 

However, it’s true for the most part Grindr is largely unproductive in quests. I just can’t even discuss Grindr anymore, because I’m tired of talking about it. I had to explain to one guy that it’s not that guys on Grindr are playing tricks on him, but it’s the fact that most of them don’t want to do any more than they have to. It’s a site for convenience, but we waste so much time on it.

 

I only use Grind when I’m in a position to meet, usually when I already met enough clients (or non at all and need to make urgent use of the hotel bed). Some people try to use it expecting “something” out of it. Most guys on Grindr can’t host, so that in itself complicates the process.

 

Bathhouses are direct to the point, but sometimes I debate what I want. Lemme just say something: part of me feels a certain way about men who meet other men ONLY for sex. Some gay guys treat other gay men like they are only good for having sex with. That’s the part that kinda rubs me about the baths. It also establishes the idea that being gay is a fetish, a sex thing, not an identity. Not that there’s anything wrong with meeting men for sex, but I like to feel there’s more to it, outside of my business hours.

 

Gay bars tend to ease up off that whole “I’m gay, therefore I’m only here to have sex.” It’s more social. Issue is, nowadays thanks to social apps, gay bars are more like high school cafeterias with cliques and attitude, than places to socialize and be sexy and single. That’s why as I get older, I’m feeling like the bathhouses are a better opportunity for solo hunts.

[Mo Mason]

I'm going to a bathhouse for my first time tonight, so I'll be able to answer this question a little later.

[+ g56whiz]

And for extra credit, can you name her pianist/arranger who played her bath gigs? No googling

The “baths” were in the basement of the Ansonia which was a prominent old residence hotel dating from 1899. I used to rent studio time in one of the grand old apartments for access to a piano.

 

I can remember sitting at a bus stop on Broadway in front of the Ansonia early one Saturday morning and remarking on all the couples leaving the Ansonia via the 74th Street entrance and grabbing a cab. So little did I know. Lol

[MassageDrew]

The bars in Chicago ARE bathhouses lol. Atleast the...I forgot what it’s called. Jackhammer? Was quite “active” lol. It’s fun though.

 

Never been to the Jackhammer but I hear enough stories a out it. Not my scene. I did get invited to an event there for later this month. I may go just to say I’ve been there though part of me already decided not to attend. It depends on how I feel that day and my comfort level. Reminds me of Manhole. Another one that’s not my scene. If your into leather, pissing, and all the other kink you can imagine then you’ll have fun.

[RunnerGuy]

Well...there’s some real people on Grindr. I actually met a guy there who I was for sure was a fake, but everything about him was real.

Almost one of those “he’s out of league” types.

 

However, it’s true for the most part Grindr is largely unproductive in quests. I just can’t even discuss Grindr anymore, because I’m tired of talking about it. I had to explain to one guy that it’s not that guys on Grindr are playing tricks on him, but it’s the fact that most of them don’t want to do any more than they have to. It’s a site for convenience, but we waste so much time on it.

 

I only use Grind when I’m in a position to meet, usually when I already met enough clients (or non at all and need to make urgent use of the hotel bed). Some people try to use it expecting “something” out of it. Most guys on Grindr can’t host, so that in itself complicates the process.

 

Bathhouses are direct to the point, but sometimes I debate what I want. Lemme just say something: part of me feels a certain way about men who meet other men ONLY for sex. Some gay guys treat other gay men like they are only good for having sex with. That’s the part that kinda rubs me about the baths. It also establishes the idea that being gay is a fetish, a sex thing, not an identity. Not that there’s anything wrong with meeting men for sex, but I like to feel there’s more to it, outside of my business hours.

 

Gay bars tend to ease up off that whole “I’m gay, therefore I’m only here to have sex.” It’s more social. Issue is, nowadays thanks to social apps, gay bars are more like high school cafeterias with cliques and attitude, than places to socialize and be sexy and single. That’s why as I get older, I’m feeling like the bathhouses are a better opportunity for solo hunts.

 

Didn't you call Grindr a "sleazy app" in another thread?

 

Another narrative shift from a wavering poster.

[Mocha]

Didn't you call Grindr a "sleazy app" in another thread?

 

Another narrative shift from a wavering poster.

 

You’re ABSOLUTELY RIGHT again. YES I did. And? Grindr is a sleazy app. What does that have to do with bars and bathhouses?

 

Grindr is sleazy not because men are hooking up for sex, but because people use that app in a way that gives sleaze to it. Going on an app where most messages include 10 dick and ass pics and saying “hi” before even know my name IS SLEAZY...because Grindr was never marketed as a hookup sites.

 

Bathhouse on the other hand, it’s marketed as a place to find encounters. Therefore, it’s not sleazy, it’s simply operating in the manner it was designed for. Atleast in a bath house, you can pick and choose who’s dick or ass you see. Grindr is just like...SURPRISE! Here’s my dick and ass!