jimbosf

“Provider” is just the term most longtime members use on this forum, probably going back to an earlier time when we were discouraged or not allowed to use the term “escort”. I wouldn’t read too much into it.

This topic sure went off the rails

It is true that in a place like NYC there are lots of other options for cruising nowadays, like gay bars, but some of us grew up when the social options were very different, so we still remember when public toilets were the only place where we could handle our cocks in public, much less make sexual overtures to another male. Old habits die hard. Then there are also the closeted gays who don't want to be seen in openly gay surroundings, and want to be able to plausibly claim, "I just came here because I needed to use the bathroom."
I went to college in a small city in farm country. One evening in the college library, I went to use the men's room, and when I sat down in a stall, the foot in the next stall started a tapping routine that I immediately recognized from my experience in Manhattan public men's rooms. When I returned the message, we both left and met outside in the hall. The guy turned out to be a former student who now lived in town, and I went home with him. After we had concluded our business at his place, I asked him why he was cruising in the college library. He said that all the actively gay men in the town knew that the library men's room was the standard place in town to pick up tricks, and if the guy in the adjoining stall didn't respond to the tapping foot, he probably didn't know what it meant and wasn't available. It was easy enough to just leave and start looking for something on the library book shelves, as if that were the only reason he was there.
Unfortunately, one evening the tapping foot turned out to belong to one of my professors. When he emerged from the stall and I saw who it was, I was dumbfounded, because he was the last person I would have wanted to have sex with, but I couldn't very well refuse after having signaled with my foot that I was available. Luckily, the semester was almost over, and I took no more courses with him.

https://youtu.be/vuBWbpTJRqk?si=qT3ahiGxWZjhQXKq

Maybe they have things to do other than sit on here and critisize others. Maybe theyre out being productive and actually hiring instead of just gossiping. I'm not sure why the fact that other older members aren't posting has anything to do with me?

Ok buddy. You should find a hobby. 

I think you’re on to something.  I’ve noticed the absence of a couple of very frequent posters as well.

Not everyone in the industry is equal. Why aren't you a professional athlete? Some people have better skills and features than others. That doesn't make another worthless. But the premium is going to be more exclusive and more expensive. If you dont understand that then I'm not sure what to tell you. Its a fact of life. 
A Honda civic won't be the same price as a Bugatti.... Use your head.

Getting down on your knees is relatively easy. It’s the getting back up you’ll need help with as you age. Lol

The argument that seeking a professional service, such as hiring a clown or meeting a "dreamy guy," requires agreeing to the provider’s terms, including a deposit, oversimplifies the dynamics of professional engagements and unfairly prioritizes the provider’s interests.
The claim that this is solely a "professional service" and not a relationship dismisses the mutual respect inherent in any professional interaction. Even in service based engagements, both parties, client and provider, have valid needs. My concern with deposits is that they solely benefit the provider and offer no protection to the client. A deposit secures the provider’s time but leaves the client vulnerable if the provider cancels, underperforms, or fails to deliver as promised. Additionally, there’s a privacy risk and the possibility of creating a paper trail that could come back to bite you later. The assertion that deposits are standard, like for a clown, ignores that most providers do not require them. Comparing a provider to a clown and arguing they deserve the same respect overlooks that respect is mutual. A clown’s deposit is part of a structured agreement, often backed by contracts or booking platforms, ensuring accountability. In contrast, a vague demand for $100 to “hold a spot” lacks transparency and accountability. Respect is earned through clear communication and fair terms, not blind compliance with one party’s demands.
While providers can set terms, clients are not obligated to accept them unquestioningly. A professional service should involve negotiation and transparency, ensuring both parties’ needs are met. Deposits may be reasonable in some very specific cases but since most providers operate without requiring one, clients should feel empowered to seek those who prioritize mutual trust over rigid demands.

The relevance of how long someone has been a member is simply that others here have little idea who you are.  For example, you could be someone who's been active on the site for a long time but decided to create a new profile simply to promote a specific point of view or specific provider while not having your posts tied to your well known identity.  
At the end of the day, this deposit or no deposit issue will never be resolved to everyone's satisfaction.  It's clearly in the provider's benefit as long as he has sufficient business to make up for the loss of some clients who never pay a deposit.  For a variety of reasons (privacy and concerns about being scammed being the top two) some clients will never pay a deposit.  It isn't like either side is incorrect, even if some of the arguments for requiring a deposit are far off the mark.  But I think even the "no deposits ever" clients here will acknowledge that a provider can run his business how he wants to (charge a higher than market rate, require a deposit, require a face photograph, etc), and they can simply book a different provider if they don't like those policies.

Whats all the "you’re new here" bullshit. 
You mean the longer I sit on a computer in my underwear discussing guys ill never have the nerve or the money to see that will make my word worth more?
Thats ok, you can have that. I hire PREMIUM and while I read about guys whining about a 50 dollar deposit I just send a guy 200 and that will get his attention fast. Money does certainly talk. And bullshit walks. I get the idea some of you are just hobbyists sitting around criticizing providers who you cant afford to see or they'd never give you the time of day anyway.
Im a below average looking 53 year old. But i pay good and im very considerate and that's why I think I always have a great experience.
I say lots of great things about the guys I've seen. The reason is I only hire at the top of the food chain. I always go after the upscale Instagram model looking ones and I haven't been disappointed in 20 years. It pays to play. 

It isn't a professional relationship. It's a professional service. If you seek them out I believe you should do it on their terms or they'll tell you no and you don't get to meet them. If you really want to meet some dreamy guy and he asks for 100 bucks to hold a spot for someone he's never met before, i think thats very fair. If you booked a clown for a birthday party, he would require a deposit. Shouldn't they get the same respect as a clown? Everyone is entitled to their opinion. This is mine.

A deposit shows respect for their time. Not all are capable and it's important to feel the person out for both ends. 

A deposit shows you have skin in the game. Imagine you're a provider and 10 people a day try to get you to come to a hotel or location, let's say half get cold feet, are pranking you etc. You wouldn't do that job for very long. There are serious clients who can't send money due to privacy concerns. I understand that. And a 250+ deposit would be for an overnight and a $500 deposit would be for a weekend. 
You want someone to agree to meet you, fulfill your wishes, set time aside for you, be mentally and physically ready to see you and be able to focus on providing you a service and you expect them to just trust the word of a complete stranger? When you book an Uber, it charges your card before you get the Uber. Ever been to a chiropractor? They charge a deposit. Fly on an airline? You pay before you fly. Its that way because it keeps things running smoother. 
Imagine you were an electrician and some assholes wanted to play games with you and make you drive all over town to fuck with you. A deposit would stop that. Its out of respect for the provider. That goes along way. These guys deal with mental abuse on a daily basis. Its a stressful gig. 
All this time spend discussing something that should be a given.
And the fact of when I joined, I don't know why that would matter. Im not saying I'm right about everything.  Im offering something from my perspective. Take everything you hear with a grain of salt. Follow your heart. 

Everyone here has the right to be suspicious of a first time poster who's been  registered for less than 24 hours and giving a glowing review.

While it’s reasonable to consider a provider’s terms when seeking their services, your statement is overly rigid and ignores the mutual nature of professional relationships. Meeting a provider should involve mutual agreement, not unilateral demands. Both parties have needs, clients seek services, but providers benefit from the engagement too. Insisting on only the provider’s terms dismisses the client’s side. A fair arrangement balances both sides, fostering respect and collaboration rather than one party dictating terms.
 

NO.
Yes!

I notice you joined this forum less than a month ago. That’s great that you want to join the discussions here. I don’t know if you were a lurker before joining but in any case we have a long history of the deposit issue. The general consensus is  not to pay a deposit except in certain limited circumstances such as extended multi day engagements.
I have no idea of what market you hire in but being always asked for deposits in the 200 to 500 $ range as you assert is not the norm in any market I am aware of and over the last 30 years or more I have hired throughout North America and many times in Europe. I have rarely if ever been asked to pay a deposit. I only once paid an airfare for someone from San Francisco to meet me in Montreal. And that worked out fine as we were together for 3 days. 
But then I am a premium client on RM and even before then was always seen as a reliable client by the way I presented myself. I always conduct myself in the same way in other commercial transactions. Being trustworthy engenders trust. 

@AtticusBK Oh Karen. Mama used to say "If you don't have something nice to say..."
 
If I read a post that doesn't provide the exact information I would like to know, I simply DM that member and ask, which usually leads to kind human interaction. Or when I read a post that doesn't fit my needs I just move on.
 
I'd rather read a post with not enough information than read your #wtf rant. Plenty of nasty bickering (and worse) in the headlines every day without having to see it here --- this site should be protected from that brand of ugliness. Sheesh. Deep breath. Have a better day.

Get a deposit my man, for some amount they dont want to lose. Value your time and respect yourself. 

I only write the 5 star ones because EVERY TIME I've given a review for anything 1-3 stars it gets removed. RM then starts asking whether we actually met or not, then they go through the messages, then they ask for evidence and EVEN THEN they still decline it. For real reviews I come here. 
Do NOT trust Rentmen reviews.

One thing you said stood out to me. 
"More than what im used to paying". Every individual is free to put whatever price they want on it, and you are free to decide whether to pay or not. Just like anything else. Would you try to haggle or argue about the price of a hotel room? What there is in this particular field is a lack of consideration for the provider. When inquiring about a service, it's probably a good idea to have extra spending money handy. When you call something pricey that says you just don't see the value in it. "Pricey" is a matter of perspective. You get what you pay for most times. I've hired guys who charge 150 an hour and I've hired guys who charge 500 an hour. And believe it or not, the ones that charge more are CHEAPER. 
For instance you hire someone for 150, they dont do a good job, you hire another for 150, again, their heart and effort isn't in it, so you hire again and again searching for a bargain. You get to a point you've spent 1000 plus on subpar experiences when you could of paid less for 1 or 2 really good ones. In the end, being cheap costs more. This is why I only hire providers who are 300 an hour or more and I've never been disappointed. 

I'm a total 6...no surprise there.  lol. 

I'm a total 6...no surprise there.  lol.