JB_Studio38

With talks about social injustice and race being more frequent, I couldn’t help but wonder myself. Sometimes I wonder if the way the Black community is portrayed and stigmatized, has a direct affect on how things in the hired gay sex community may differ between a White escort and a Black escort. A common scene in many American cities (especially disenfranchised or towns of great wealth disparity in Midwest and south), you go to an inner city area. Oftentimes you’ll see a person of color (or Black, to be more specific) in a seemingly down on their luck position, holding a sign. I also overheard today, in Kansas City (a town in my opinion is Sadly stereotypical and eagerly segregate themselves in the process) what sounded like a heated outdoor argument at a nearby car wash. Of course, it had to be with Black congregating ??‍♂️ Then you have the protests. I seen sometimes the comments on articles, about how “Blacks will start looting” and such. With everything going on, I began to wonder if the headaches I deal with some days is a by product of how people stereotype and view the black community. I often get a vibe that when a White guy is escorting or has a sugar daddy, they’re viewed as smart and lucky. Yet when a Black guy does the same thing, they’re viewed as lazy and can’t do nothing better with their lives. Double standards so to speak. Then some of our clients who support us, end up harboring some of the same mindsets, and then no wonder why lately, so many appointments get cancelled, flaked, no shower and no reimbursed. I wish there was an easier way to change it. Sometimes I wonder if clients understand we aren’t all the same. There was a White escort who once asked me, “do you think you deal with more flakes than other people?” And I said, I probably do. I probably do. The same White (or non black) guy my caliber is probably dealing with far less nonsense and tripe than your Black escort of the same caliber. And I think it’s a lot to do with the constant negative connotations put out, whether its being “ghetto” or “poor” or “dangerous”. And I think it has an effect that we may not always be aware of. What’s obvious, a good majority of “our” supporting clients aren’t usually of the same ethnicity. However I did notice on my last trip to DC...I went from having only non black clients, to having a bit more variety. But the overall amount of white clients was noticeably less. Fact or Fiction?

But did i say it was only old ladies? And my bad: I have gotten many shots in my day. Most of the time they say make a fist and expose some veins. But you're right, that's likely for drawing blood, not giving vaccinations. My mistake. I meant that the vaccines are given into a muscle, not a vein. Internally, not intravenously. That said, I'm happy to report I'm still alive and well today (even though some days I feel like wanting to die, but the Lord just keeps saying: not today. You've got more work to do). Like I said, I'm not a doctor or condoning anti vaccing, etc. But until law mandates it; it's still at the end of the day a personal choice. And do we want it mandated by law? Waiting in line like a driver's license office amongst dozens of people, overwhelming the medical system? Probably not. But let's not put down those who choose not to. I'm saying this from personal experience: living with asthma, seeing family die of cancers, having family members work as nurses their whole career, seeing sick people all the time etc, spending lots of times in hospitals and doctors offices. Non of my doctors or hospitals have ever pushed the flu vaccine on me. If I said no, that was the end of the conversation. They do however push prep and HIV protection, in which case I politely smile and say, thanks...But no thanks. I prefer to be vigilant about my sexual health in other ways. As far as protecting others? Last time I checked we're all sex workers and those who hire sex workers. What happened to: "when you have sex with 1 person, you're having sex with everyone they've slept with (usually equally to like the whole world's population when you do the math ?. And let's not pretend like sex with strangers is 100% foolproof

Update: After talking to a few people yesterday and meditating and getting in touch with myself, today i woke up feeling better, and going to try to keep it all in perspective. The past few hours, I've just been working on smiling, and walking away if I feel a person isn't being consistent. And my apologies to @jeezifonly . i know you only want the best for me. I recently signed up to volunteer at a local animal shelter this weekend. Hopefully my asthma doesn't flare up in the cat section, but i guess that's what masks are for ? ?

To me fantasy is the reality though...it just doesn't always mean "let's be together"

I really wasn’t trying to make it an argument. I just gave my side. I was never giving medical advice. Please don’t find stuff to nitpick and argue over. FYI, the antibiotics I had was prescribed to me earlier this year, and it is prescribed for the intended purpose I’m using it for. It’s called having prescriptions on hand, to be filled when I need them. Genius. The reason why there’s antibiotic resistant bacteria has nothing to do with “passing around contradicting information”. That’s about as silly as saying bugs are resistant to certain pesticides, because people keep passing around the wrong information about bugs.

As an addition to this thread: I’ve decided to change the topic a little bit and include: I’ve had 2 more clients this week, formerly good regulars...fail to keep their plans when arranging a visit. One of such, I read thru my RentMasseur account and he twice emailed me last month and this month Along the lines of, “ARE YOU COMING TO TOWN? I’M SO ANXIOUS TO SEE YOU AGAIN. PLEASE LET ME KNOW. This week I FINALLY went ahead and came to town, contacted him prior...he was SOOOOOO excited, but for the 2nd time has pulled the “I’m so worried about COVID, I’ll have to pass” along with having a misunderstanding about how sex work; works, and now we’re done. I wasn’t worried because I took care of one of my other regulars good, and he’s only 28 years old and SHOWED UP no hassle, like he’s supposed to. Without the drama some of these “senior” hirers can’t seem to stop ??‍♂️ But still... This stuff is just becoming tediously petty. I literally feel like I’m babysitting 2 year olds. Yet these guys are nearly twice my age in some cases. Do men experience a 2nd terrible two’s later in life? I ended up canceling all travels right now, and just not going to bother. I’m just tired of putting in the effort, and getting my hopes up for idiots who don’t want to fucking take anything seriously. They text me one thing completely confident of an appointment, but then in their minds don’t believe they actually booked any time with me. I’m just about ready to retire until next year...

Well I actually was “Quasi” hooking back then. I was in high school, 9th grade. I think by the next year, I’d already had guys picking me up from school in Mustangs and Expeditions ? If I knew then what I knew now...I’d of been wearing all the latest shoes and clothes right thru senior year. People try to numb it down, but I still say 9/11 was the big bad “COVID-19” of that era. It irks me when people try to say, “that was NOTHING, COVID 19 is making people wear masks and shutting down schools”. Yes it is, but 9/11 was nothing like we ever seen before. People in Florida were coming to grab their kids out of school, even though it was happening nowhere near us. People thought the U.S. was ending. It made a lot of people scared for a long time. It just had so many implications, from inflation to recession to just general conspiracy theories, etc. Also many people got pushed out of New York and came to Florida. It’s still amazing that New York (or at least manhattan) ever even rebounded from that so well.

interesting, thanks for the clarification. I think the topic actually came up because he was saying he felt like he may have anal cancer, but had hpv vaccine. I haven’t fucked him in awhile, so I’ve not been able to examine his...hole, lately. But he seems to feel like it’s something serious. So he was just saying he hopes it “wasn’t” cancer related.

There’s Nothing I Need You To Help Me Understand PERIOD. The only one who’s acting out of ego is you, because you can’t even be bothered to explain what your referencing of another escort contacting you, who is going thru something financially: has to do with the topic I’m discussing. And? If you were trying to turn the tables and say: “this escort wasted my time by seeming to be interested in me by having conversation, but was only interested in getting paid for services, therefore he wasted my time”...is nonsense. That’s the original dynamic of your arrangement. If you couldn’t afford it, oh well. You said it. He had a choice to make a decision from there. I don’t even know why you’d bring that up to begin with, that’s just mere gossip to me. If you think my issue is ego, then your issue is insecurity. If you think this is ego, I’m flattered because most of my ego is gone dealing with some of the bullshit I’ve dealt with this week. I have set aside my ego more than enough times to take care of my clients. For you to say that, disregards the mere fact being an escort...and how much we do that sacrifices our ego at many times. You seem like someone who is condescending and/or patronizing towards escorts. And that’s just the wrong attitude to have. And I’m definitely not the ☝? for it. Anyhow, I’m about done. I cannot sit here and argue with someone who’s avatar is of a silly smiley face emoji. Depart from thee ?? And FYI, my response is emblematic of nothing but telling “someone” aka @jeezifonly: mind his business, don’t tell me what to do, and don’t make suggestions that you don’t have the clout to insure. To hell with him telling me I have no use but to grab something off a shelf and turn my phone off for 2 weeks when I have 2 cars, 2 phones, and 4 properties that I must maintain. He doesn’t know what he’s talking about, and I refuse to be belittled on this forum by you or him. This is exactly why BLM ✊? is such a topic, because people like you and him don’t think we have anything “Better” to do with our lives.

Okay, I’ll do that long as you pay me for the 2 weeks of lost earnings while my phone is off. Talk is cheap, and when did you gain moderator ??‍⚖️ status?

I’m just still trying to figure out what was the point of the story you previously gave me

on the other end, I don’t get anti vaccers either. If taking something that can give you immunity to an illness, by all means. It’s like those who refuse to get their kids vaccinated. But I also don’t get people who push others to get vaccines that’s not required nor has a definitive guarantee of protection like a Hep A, B or C. I even had a friend tell me that his HPV vaccine doesn’t protect against all forms of the virus. but I understand some people just want to be protected from “everything”. They’ll get the rental companies full coverage insurance, instead of using their own. They’ll get every vaccination that comes out, even if it contains dead babies and monkey brains lol.

My story: last year (pre-Covid in November) I got 1 of the Hep shot vaccinations (mainly b/c I want to eventually get a tattoo and be safe). During the same time, doc asked if I wanted a flu Shot. I said nope! I felt I had already gotten “a virus” earlier last year in April, and since then, hadn’t felt anything similar to it up until last week, where I briefly hovered at 99.3 degrees. I immediately Tylenoled, Robittusin and Antibioticed myself down and laid low. I felt better within 2 days. I don’t plan to get a flu vaccine this year. Not that I don’t believe in it, but simply because it’s not enough guarantee for me to feel like getting one. You also can’t vaccinate a cold or a sinus infection virus, or seasonal allergies/weather changes that just leave me in a congested funk. real life shit I’ve actually had. I have had times I come down with a sore throat so intense, I lose my voice. I usually have to lose work for a week. Doctor says: it’s a virus. I say, is it the flu? Chlamydia or Gonorreah in my throat? They say no. It’s just been “going around”. That’s why I don’t mind this whole mask ? thing. It’s kept other stuff down too. It’s amazing how some people (Not referring to the OP, but just in general) will scold someone to get a Vaccination but will happily chow down on a box of fries that has 1,000 calories, won’t floss or brush their teeth at the end of the night, or hasn’t lifted a weight or ran a mile in years. If all of that is superficial, by all means suggesting someone inject a foreign substance administered by a stranger with the “idea” of keeping safe...seems strange to me. contrary to some posters opinions here, I think it’s only fair to give both sides...without judgment or ridicule:

No, I don’t. Nor do I need to. What’s the point you’re trying to make here? In other news, one of the flakes of the week actually gave me a phone call, and we had a heart to heart as to why I had blacklisted him and sent a cancellation fee request. After some understanding, it appeared he didn’t think he made an appointment (I’ve discussed this before in the past), yet his messages said something completely different. I had to let him know: you said this, but your texts said that. How am I supposed to decipher between what you said, and what you meant? And...without you responding to it for the whole day. So we kissed and made up, and he sent me a $50 apple voucher. Normally it would have been $100, but considering he was a good client, I let it slide. I wish more people would be like that. Sometimes misunderstanding happen, but sometimes you just got to talk it out. I know most clients come to us to avoid the idea of talking and relationships and all that complicated stuff that makes sex become “work”, but there’s no free passes. You can’t just do whatever the fuck you want, just because you don’t feel you have to answer to anyone. If you say, “lets meet tomorrow”, you made an appointment. It doesn’t matter if it’s not: “let’s meet at 9 pm Tuesday at 6969 Wood street.” People try to be overly technical with things.

thanks. Tell me about it. I feel like I’m living in a nightmare. And it started out as 2, but there’s just been general speckles of it throughout the month. It’s just the reality of living in bad market. Just the whole Bible Belt region is just not good. The ones out here will hire someone 1 time, and never get to build any regulars. @Shawn Monroe was so right about Kansas City, I should have to the cue and left while I was ahead... well even though it sounded like he was “just hitting you up for money”, fact is once you said you’re not hiring, and you weren’t helping...what more can he say?

I told him I liked his solution. But what rubbed me wrong is when he made a personal statement about me being in the business and constantly frustrated. That’s what offended me. Now the message is changed. You can state a point, I can state a point, we all can. But no need to start making personal decisions FOR me, as if I’m the weakest link. Flakes do happen BUT. What are we going to do about it? Taking a passive role and not seeing the person again may work to keep things cordial, but real respect for the business won’t be earned until we actually show we need reimbursement for our time. Otherwise all they’re going to go do is go do it to someone else. I can’t wait until escorting becomes an Uber app. It’s already like that, except people book and request us and we don’t get paid. Just wait until the 2nd you click our profile and get our number, you get charged $100. Lord have mercy, BRING IT!

What that’s my prerogative whether I decide to stay or go. I know what you’re saying, but it doesn’t always take 2 chances to inconvenience someone. That’s what I’m trying to get across. You did it how you wanted to do it, and that’s great..but your way may not work for everybody. Why give 2 chances to get stood up? I rather it be a one and done deal. And it’s also too tempting to give chances after they show after the first flake event, but then have it happen again down the line. Thing is, that assumes they actually get around to doing the deposit. Which doesn’t always happen. Therefore it’s not always a case of building cancel fee into the deposit. A deposit can be $50. A cancel fee can be half the session. Some guys I’ve known asked the whole thing.

Easier said than done. I be wanting them to reimburse for the expected earnings and lost time. It’s like, how would they feel if they were expecting to do a job for someone, and they fucked them off. Every appointment that is flaked, is lost earnings that I may or may not recoup to pay important things I may have. And in the case of this week, it’s now costing me extra, that I don’t even have, on top of the lost sessions flaked on. So now I’m in double trouble.

It didn’t become about that. I just brought it up one time. It simply referred to how in the gay community, we’ve never mattered much. I notice whenever I go out in public, White women are always the first and only to compliment me on an outfit, cologne, start a conversation, etc. THAT is how that came up. Whereas gay guys regularly give the stink eye, and do petty, childish shit like talk about meeting, and then flake for no apparent reason. And just when you thought they were dead or were in a horrible accident, they’ve just been mind fucking you the whole time. That’s not flaking. That’s being a normal human being. Flaking is this (not verbatim conversation but based on real life example this week) Flake: Hey remember me? you available to meet tomorrow? Me: Yes, nice to hear from you again Flake: Cool, I’ll text you tomorrow when I get settled. Not sure how day is going to go (red flag) Me: Hi, are you still on for meeting today? Just need to know what time I should be leaving my house. Him: No response Me (next day): Hey I didn’t hear anything back yesterday, if you’re not able to make it after all, can you kindly leave my cancellation fee. Him: No response Me (end of day): Sends cancel fee request Him: No response Me: I’m blacklisting you Him: goes nuts and acts like he never made an appointment

In the model industry, and just general photography, guys will show a better definition and tone trimmed or shaved. Most any advertisement of a shirtless man will show this, but it may not always be completely waxed...It may be like a bit of buzz or a little below. I used to do the real hairy look, but I noticed in one of my photo shoots years ago, it came out looking kinda 70s pornish, and it just wasn’t the look I was going for on that set lol. The next day I trimmed, and did a different photo set. some of us (as those with curly or “ethnic” hair), I notice it often looks better shaved with just a 1/8” trimmer or something like that. Or an adjustable trimmer on the longest setting. That way you leave just enough hair to see but to also reveal definition, and as it grows out over the course of 2 weeks, it’ll continue to look better. But once it becomes all kinky and coily, time to trim again. My chest looks and feels a lot better that way. However I don’t care for the completely smooth shaven look unless a guy happens to just have tattoos they want to appear better (and I know a guy who got tattoos on his hairy chest, I didn’t think it was necessary)

That’s a good way to do it. However some just have a knack for doing it again. There was a client in one area who I’d seen more than a couple times. He’d try to schedule, but then something come up...I was considerate of the circumstances but informed of my cancellation policy. But then we made plans to follow up later in the month when I was back in the area, which I did...and something else came up. No offer to reimburse either time. So no more for him. I know some are reading and thinking, “gay sex and escorts are supposed to be fun and non-committal. Why so much hassle?” And it is. 100%. But don’t let it become so fun and non-committal that basic courtesy just goes out the window. It’s not that hard. I don’t get why these guys make it so hard. I don’t need a reason, I just need courtesy. That way I can decide for myself, the next move. One guy years ago cancelled for no reason on the 2nd meet, but sent me $500 without my even asking. I have a friend who is a wedding planner, any clients who flake on him, he keeps the deposit. Clients flaking starts off innocent, but tends to cause real life issues for the escort.

No therapist needed. I’ve already surveyed and analyzed how these things work. A therapist would only sit and listen, and tell me how I can reframe my thoughts...but the dynamic wouldn’t change. I know it seems crazy to say what I said, and surely it’s off topic. But it’s true. Sad, but true. I have noticed in many areas outside of the main metropolitan cities, majority of Black guys I have come across who are actually doing half decent for themselves, and have a relationship going, are “generally straight” and partnered with White women. Period. I have very rarely EVER seen a Black guy who’s gay and happily partnered, or even partnered at all...in rural America and areas outside of your main metropolitan cities: DC, Chicago, LA, etc. And in the smaller markets like Kansas Shitty, Nashville, and Columbus, it’s more of a “it can happen” sort of thing, but only if you’ve got the connections. Otherwise, forget about it. But only reason I brung that up is because the fact I’m tired of just everybody in the gay comms bullshit in general. There’s a guy I’ve been “talking to” where we met one time. Once. Like back in March or April. We just could not get around to meeting the 2nd time. We lived 1 state over, but it wasn’t a long stretch to meet because I was often in his area on more than 1 occasion, but it was always an excuse. We kept in touch regularly up until last month, then the other week he tells me he’s in a relationship and they’re not open. And I’m supposed to be fucking, giving chance after chance in my professional life to a client? That 1 chance they do the “ghost” or the last minute cancel, it clearly sets the stage for more of the same down the line...that’s why I’m more willing to burn bridges more so nowadays. I did that before with clients, and that was the same way I ended up losing my condo that I worked so hard for over 5 years maintaining: because some fucking idiot clients, one who was a regular, kept standing me up time after time and I kept giving chances. I was already behind on my payments at the time due to the shutting of rentboy, they just stuck the dagger in and twisted it, making it worse. And the client today talking he’s going to get his lawyer and sue me for asking my cancellation fee. I’d LOVE to go to court. I said, Matter of fact, let me do the favor for you: I’ll go to your city tomorrow and file in small claims for the session you flaked on, and make it easier for you. Since I already have all your information. How about THAT lol. I’m thinking to myself, he had time to say all of that, but didn’t have time to say, “today is hectic, let’s reschedule for...” Just blatant disregard for the profession. And they wonder why I don’t care either ??‍♂️

Everything you said sounds great and reasonable. BUT... What does that have to do with a client not following thru when they arrange a second meet? Sure they may have perfectly reasonable reasons to not show up, but they weren’t too busy to text me initially. And then to not say anything at all? Like I’ve been arguing with 2 (1 of now is a former) clients this evening about that. If something came up, just say it. Why play this passive aggressive game like something devastating happened to you, then when I text them they are blacklisted, suddenly they want to respond with 1,000 texts as to how I’m so in the wrong. This goes back to what I was saying a few threads ago: I just don’t understand men anymore. I think I want to not be gay anymore. Maybe I’ll have better luck with White women like many Black men seem to have. Too many gay men are garbage and a joke. I can’t deal with this shit no more. I’m going to turn myself straight ? I feel numb to black lives matter, because I know to majority in the gay community, black lives only matter when you’re doing the same shit they’re doing, and they think being around you makes them look a little bit better. Any other time, they don’t give a goddamn fuck about it otherwise.

That sounds at-least halfway manageable. I haven’t seen a client in Kansas City since Labor Day, except one attempted booking who didn’t want to pay a deposit. (because it involves me driving to the “in” parts of town, getting a hotel, and likely be the only appointment I get that day. which makes no sense to NOT want to have something upfront). And there doesn’t seem to be any other bookings in sight for this week. Most likely it’ll be something last minute, where they want me to host, but don’t want to confirm. Predictable. But I was able to schedule a different client later in the week in a different town about 2 hours away. I almost don’t feel ashamed to say it was a waste of time. It was just 1 hour, and I had to get a hotel, and it was the only client I booked that day. Normally that area would simply be a “Stop and Go” destination, but considering it was a Friday night, I was hoping for the best. If I don’t leave the business, I definitely need to leave this region and never look back. This is the epitome of sex workers living in poverty. And I was never intending to be in those circumstances.

But here’s the thing: what I meant by getting a “pass”, clients shouldn’t be like, “oh he’s an escort, he doesn’t care about me. Therefore me hitting him up, faking an appointment and not going thru with it shouldn’t matter”. That’s petty and childish. And I’d assume people who do are likely as such. In a way it’s basically trying to “gauge” whether the provider actually cares about the client, by flaking out on a 2nd meet. “Let me bail on this session, and see what happens. Then let me contact him a few months later and pretend it didn’t happen” ? It’s obviously something behind It. I personally wouldn’t expect any respect if I did. It’s already been 3 times actually this month, where a previously met client bailed on meeting up and then didn’t bother to reschedule or follow up with sort of explanation. Even though I can walk away and be done, that’s also a lost of expected earnings. I can walk away and be done, after they reimburse me. If they want to ignore it, that’s when I have to escalate it. At that point, they’ll know their bridges are burnt. I had a new client earlier this year pull something similar. I was extra annoyed because I’d spent a whole extra 2 days in South Florida in between another client...then he bailed. He kept ignoring reimbursing me for the session. Few days later when he seen what the next solution was going to be, he immediately sent it no questions asked.