JB_Studio38

That’s true, and it’s not just “drug” drugs either. It’s anti depressants, stimulants, and anything else. Being on drugs isn’t just limited to street drugs or illegal narcs. I been seeing a guy who I recently found out takes aderall (however it’s spelled). Before that it was anti-depressants. The level of disorder and chaos in his home was so severe, it bordered on unsanitary living conditions. I been helping to get it looking like a home again, but I had a talk with him yesterday and will again later. However I have noticed improvements since he got off the anti-D’s And sadly yes, a lot of our men are on drugs or alcoholics. I think instead of saying, “well all my friends are gay and don’t do XYZ”, we all need to look at the issue as truth in the matter. And that’s not being judgemental: I know many successful gay men who PNP every once in awhile. “Weekend warriors” so to speak. But not everybody who does them has it together, or keeps it together. The majority of gay men who are on drugs are caught up in the lifestyle. And they’re so deep in, they can’t function without it.

That reminds me I should get back on scruff. Grindr just sucks all the way around for trying to get biz. But I do remember scruff getting tedious at various points as well. Might of gotten warned or banned here and there after discussing biz on the site. So you're right to just leave a number and keep it moving. I feel Adam 4 Adam has fucked themselves over again by changing their city locator feature.I've wrote to them before that the county listing sounds ridiculous, almost like a sheriff or police department at that. They haven't changed it. But I noticed biz from the site is continued to be deader and deader. Can't even recall the last time I've gotten a serious client from there. Maybe back in October. My ad just expired this week, probably won't renew until next year. Hell, I may just be done with it period. Only seems to work well in a select few markets, or if you keep steady interaction on it... sometimes I've found contacting random guys directly helps.

I wouldn't say that. But there are stories of Instagram model's pics being used on Rentmen...and the person behind it not being the guy in the photos

Not so quick to rejoice though: It was case of, as @Benjamin_Nicholas once described: throwing the baby out with the bathwater. Yes, they weren't the best sites BUT...I met a plethora of good guys thru BP and CL. Oftentimes for the same rates that i can ask on Rentmen. Remember: they didn't go away by popular demand. They were forced closed or intimidated to close by the government...aka, land of the not so free: as a result of the continued criminalization of sex work. That's also why rentboy, men 4 rent and hour boy also went under.

I could not have said it better...

I could not have said it better...

yeah and you so “attractive”, the escort doesn’t even want you to show face around his place...you really that gullible? An escorts has his own place, but is going to make you pay for a room for a couple hours. How you figure? I don’t ask local clients to get a hotel for a couple of hours, even if they are the only one booked because 1 appointment still offsets it. When I can’t host from home, clients pay me deposit and I get an apartment sized hotel that doesn’t do hourly bookings, and probably for less price than it would cost for 4 hours in NYC. Because I’m a Diamond member with 3 hotel chains. Better check my background ☝? Keep your love, luv. It’s laced with hatred and I can taste it...

Just for the record everyone: I only reacted to being criticized by the poster in protest. A person can only take so much, before they pop back. The OP has relentlessly come for me, when I've never come for him...and i don't even know him. That doesn't mean I am fat shaming. It just means I'm tired of his shit, and he lost my politeness and filter. He thinks it's okay to put me down, shame me for sharing my experiences...but the moment I say something that could save his life one day, he throws a compete hissy. So predictable. Reminds me of the kids in grade school. If you want to give hard criticism about my life, take a look at the changes in your own, before trying to interpret mine.

Boy, BYE! Don't talk to me when you're too cheap to get a hotel and you can't spell. You 28 years old trying to find cheap places to meet escorts. At-least I have the confidence to show myself online. Where's your pictures? https://www.companyofmen.org/threads/cheap-places-to-be-with-provider.161778/ And no I don't judge anyone's weight, but if someone wants to be judgemental towards me...they are going to get judgmental handed back to them.

Thankyou 1,000 times over for your perspective! I had completely not noticed that my RentMasseur has a different weight than my Rentmen. Idk how that happened or how I hadn’t noticed that. I know lately, my phones have been behaving quirky to where when I press one part of the screen, I end up pressing something different. So that might of been something by when editing ads. I’ve also taken into consideration the other things you’ve mentioned. Some of the things you said, I’m not willing to change. Mainly the deposit part. I’ve gone back and forth between doing them, and not doing them, but at this point I feel it’s where it’s at for me now. I also can’t bring myself to write notes about clients. I know there’s ways to do it discretely, but I don’t wish to have a written journal or diary about clients. Even on phone. And I will say, I do remember a lot of things clients tell me. I’ve had clients say, “oh wow, you remembered THAT?” That’s just how I am. Atleast the things that matter. I really don’t feel the need to recall every tidbit about their life. At the end of the day, they’re hiring a sex worker and oftentimes may even be married. It’s a lot of thought process to maintain, for a situation that may likely only be a 1 or 2 time thing in most cases (that’s not being pessimistic, but like I said: if every guy had as many regulars as they needed, everybody wouldn’t be needing to advertise on RentMen every month). And like I say, there’s been lots of attempted 2nd bookings that didn’t happen, simply because the timing didn’t mesh. As for forum personality, I can’t help myself lol. I don’t like bitchy people who give bitchy replies. However, at the end of the day, obviously certain people are going to talk and feel how they feel. And I acknowledge the forum environment is toxic in some ways, and that’s why many providers don’t frequent this ecosystem. Even reading the thread about, “porn stars I would never hire” was toxic just reading it. It’s tragic that people actually sit around and circle jerk about not liking particular sex workers. But yet, don’t we DARE come up with a client review section for THEM. ??‍♂️ Yes, it’s a client forum, but if there’s so much hypocrisy and criticism going around, all it’s going to do is discourage new providers from joining. And that’s bad for the site because, we should all know that escorts DO PAY for advertising, and will pay for advertising. And even though this should be good free marketing, it’s too many toxic vile opinions going around...and I can imagine the average, well to do male sex worker would be turned off about the thought of trying to walk on eggshells not saying anything to offend a potential client or perhaps, another escort. That said, I still appreciate the input. I think it’s hard, much harder than I recognize even after 12 years in the game...because we don’t always know what may be wrong with us at any given time. Clients tend to often not speak their mind in person. I often find myself having to ask clients and apologize about certain things boldly, just to make sure they know...that I know, they may have been put off by something. Rentmen doesn’t help us write ads. We have to formulate our own style and writing, and convey our boundaries without turning off the genuine clients, while still keeping true to ourselves. That’s why I love having my business card, is very simple with hardly any words. Rentmen ad you feel compelled to say a lot, but you can just as easily say nothing at all. However, the online environment requires you to be inclusive, simply because people know nothing of you at first glance. At the end of the day, I know what I’m dealing with now is mostly due to needing a change in market. Like I said, sometimes it doesn’t matter what an escort does, if there’s no market to market to...one can only go so far. If you look across any Grindr, Adam4Adam or Rentmen, people write lots of stuff in ads that are off-putting, but they’re still getting laid. But atleast I know what things I can change, before I make that change.

You’re not obligated to peek behind the curtain. But if the realization that escorts aren’t “perfect”, and that we all have things we work thru or contend with is too “real” for you, you may be operating in a superficial, fantasy mentality. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying a fantasy. But when you refer to the person as a mere fantasy, you may be disappointed when the real comes out. Well I’m appreciative that judgmental, patronizing opinions (notice I said opinions, not assistance) doesn’t have much clout in the big scheme of things. And for the record, I don’t have a problem with people giving assistance. I can appreciate someone offering their tips where it counts, but when it denigrates into calling me the root of my problems, that offensive. And I won’t tolerate it. There’s some sad people on this forum who like to tear down someone’s self esteem and sense of worth, for whatever reason. It’s not helpful. There’s nothing helpful in saying someone is the reason why they are not being treated by others, in a way they want to be treated. Or that they themselves are why they can’t get more regulars. Without even understanding the whole picture. It’s not advice. It’s antagonizing. That, I won’t stand for and I will absolutely refute it as anything other than belittling criticism. And if a particular person doesn’t like my response, they can keep it moving. Thanks but no thanks.

You just can’t help yourself to keep up the condescending tone, can you? Those excuses, excuses, excuses, are likely you trying to project onto me, the EXCUSES you have with your body image and your “excuses” to not exercise. Because from what another member pointed out to me in private, you seem to be a bit overweight and have a body type that can’t fit into a harness correctly. ✋? How about you focus on losing weight and working on your body image problems while you can, instead of trying to come on here and figure out my problems and persistently go out of your way to insult me.

Well it sounds like you’re doing the right thing by booking in advance. And it sounds like you have some flexibility. If someone isn’t keeping their word on showing up for the appointment, that’s obviously being flaky. But the situations I discuss, many aren’t even giving that amount of notice. It’s more like “hey you free now”, and then when I say yes, I can be there at X time, then it’s no compromise. It won’t work if only 1 person requests a time, without trying to coordinate with the other. Obviously that has to also be prior to the session, not after...or moments prior either.

Well you can either keep wondering, or listen to what I’m saying to perhaps make a difference I can understand the reason for it, but I prefer to be more transparent. With so many celebrities and porn stars on Twitter speaking their minds (and sometimes getting backlash), I feel the adult thing to do is just be 100% real about how I feel. I’ve felt I’ve usually earned more business being genuine, than trying to hide behind an alias. If someone wouldn’t ever hire me for a post here, they’d likely never get booked in real life by me either ??‍♂️ Ive been working on my ad a bit recently, and still fine tuning what I want and don’t want in it. I have wondered if that seemed a bit redundant, and I may switch it up. However, I also like when a client says: I’ve read your ad...and points to it. It just lets me know they have an understanding of how I prefer to operate. Part of reason I’ve gotten so repetitive in ads over the months, is because I was too nice and polite. I didn’t say anything that alluded to boundaries, and I would get lots of texts about bookings, but lots of people who weren’t following anything I was saying in the ads.

Oh wow. Sounds like you dodged a bullet. I haven’t really followed the story, but I’m just half curious as to what comes of it.

I hear what you’re saying, but I think there needs to be some acknowledgement that, sometimes no matter what a escort does; it may not help. Sometimes the problem is: there’s no market to market to lol. I been in a relatively segregated, classist, conservative, relatively frugal mentality area of the U.S. for the past 2 years. It’s like a town that I believe has a condescending vibe towards sex workers, but see us ONLY because they “NEED” to. Hence why there’s not enough regulars. Some have gone out of their way to make things difficult. They’ll text about an appointment, and then not respond when I return their message. They’ll book last minute, even when I’ve suggested needing advance notice. There’s also not as much coming from my own demographic. So, if you are catching on that dynamics in cities can trickle right down into the sex work realm, you’re absolutely right. The problem is multifaceted, and I don’t expect someone who doesn’t know other’s situation, to understand. So I’m not mad at all. It’s much better not having to stay in one place too long and deal with the things I’ve contended with staying in one market. Especially if that market doesn’t support the local trade.

Excellent input! I always wondered how the late 90s escorting were. I mean, I echo everything you’re saying, and in fact how you did things is similar to how I operate. But I am not a big note taker (and out of discretion). However, I am like an elephant and remember just about every client and what they are into. You also had some good techniques I hadn’t thought of, and I could see how that could help win over more regulars. I wouldn’t feed too much into how I chat on here. People tend to be bitchy in ways that they wouldn’t normally do in a conversation. And on the forum, I play along with people’s bitchiness not because I am that way as a provider, but I’m not going to kiss ass endlessly to appease someone’s skewed impression of me. We can agree to disagree, but when someone makes baseless statements without much to back it up (e.g. I’m the problem, and everyone else is not), I’m going to address it. That’s totally understandable. And I’ve touched on this topic a couple of weeks ago. My thing is: I don’t have a problem receiving deposits from clients. I know there’s some who don’t wish to, but I have specific reasons why I ask for deposits...and it’s nothing to do with trust. I feel if Uber drivers, Pizza Hut, eBay packages, Amazon, etc etc can be paid for and paid for shipping in advance, I as a escort should be given something in advance as well. That’s just how I operate. In my case, I ask for deposits even if it’s an hour session, mainly when hosting...because I have many times over the years: paid for hotels or traveled to cities expecting clients to show up, and got burned. It’s a personal preference for me. If a client sees it as a threat to their integrity, I can’t be responsible for that. To me, a deposit is about how I want to operate and for my peace of mind as a sex worker. If someone isn’t okay with that, I’m okay with that. ?? It’s been too many times in my career that I’ve done stuff on edge, going by a client’s word...and most times it worked it, other times it didn’t. So when someone says they got burned, I say...yeah, I been burned 100 times more, so I understand. I hope you can understand too.

I was facetious at the end of that post you quoted, but It was in reference to the start of the thread. It seemed like there was some discrepancies in the pricing of the provider, and I simply meant that I found it to work better having more than just a base incall/outcall donation (which Rentmasseur limits providers to), for that reason.

In my personal experience: there’s often more than it seems. Despite people touting how discrete and nonymous they want to remain, there’s a select few clients out there who are totally fine with letting a provider live in and/or operate from their place.

Same difference though. If you’re okay with RM having a review section, you should be okay if escorts exchange phone numbers, or atleast in a (000) 000-00XX format. And yes, it is the norm in some areas. There’s a site that I browse regularly that’s run by women across seas, and there’s postings updated regularly to assist/warn other sex workers. Others may chime in and say, “oh yeah, he did the same thing to me also”. America is just behind, and the lack of decriminalization of it, Is what continues to leave things in a hypocritical state of being.

It depends how you define anonymous. Technically, regardless of whether one winds up on a blacklist site or not... there's no anonymity. I mean, we exchange number, hopefully a name, and location, which may be a client's home. It's not cruising a park or scouting truck stop bathrooms. That's true anonymous sex. Where you don't even know their name, age, or anything about them. I would say: most anonymity is earned by default. At the end of the day, we're just gay men trying to live our lives judgement free from the general public. But when those same people abuse the privilege, that's where it's compromised. And it's not like I'm tooting horns out to the general public (because let's face it, when homosexuality, prostitution or other sexual freedoms are criminalized, the laws and media have a knack for exposing it to the general public). I'm more just for having a site where escorts can privately review and exchange info with others. Outside of the public eye.

Those are all valid reasonings. I try to avoid all except #4, as I do tend to ask for deposits...but that's pretty similar to what my wedding ? friends do for their venues. However it may be different to the upfront payment you refer to. Mine is just a small portion, and simply covers my initial expenses to host or travel. Senór citizens in the game such as myself, tend to prefer having arrangements confirmed, which in turn also encourage us to stick with appointments also.

Fair enough, but I’ll tell you right now...you’re the source of my problem right now, just based on how you’re talking condescendingly towards me. Let’s be clear on that. When you start using words like complain, frustrate, and problems...words that I never personally used; that gets on my wrong side automatically. Because you’re essentially excusing the situations I mentioned without consideration, and going out of your way to put me as the adversary. (even though you just did admit, that the person I referred to sounded like a time waster. And that person, was a client I’ve met previously and had a good encounter with . So you just confirmed the same things I was describing). Yes, I did say certain things do irritate me. It does irritate me when someone seems intent on an appointment, but then tells me that they need to cancel because of something they knew damn well would prevent them from meeting. It does irritate me when a client contacts the day of, with no sort of “heads up” expecting me to be ready at the drop of a dime, but can’t be bothered to plan for a mutually convenient time in advance. Or even, “I can be there at 3”, and they say, “that’s too late for me”. Well...how is it too late when they didn’t bother to see me as a person who “MIGHT” have a normal life of responsibilities (just like them!) and not just doing nothing with it. How the F you figure, that’s something that I am the reason for? Sounds like you’re projecting. But don’t be so dismissive. Just because you don’t like me calling something out, doesn’t mean I’m somehow responsible. Now in your defense, there have been some times where I could have done things a bit better with a particular client, but it’s hardly a pattern. Besides, if regulars were as plentiful as we all wanted, most of us wouldn’t be paying for advertising every month. We’d just have our revolving door of clients coming and going, without ever having to advertise.