JB_Studio38

I agree 100%. And rightfully so. However, the point I was making is: a client (or forum person) shouldn’t be flabbergasted at the mere question of a pic, considering it’s fairly easy to pull out an iPhone and take one…not even with your full face, but neck/chin down, at least. Which many who are very discrete may do. And 1 other question: why do clients ask us for pics when we’ve already got them up? All in all I don’t think it’s a big concern. I’m also not particular about needing a pic from a client, but many volunteer to send one anyway.

Why would a client send a provider a pic without us asking? Happens all the time. That said, it’s 2021. The whole “I’m too discreet to send a pic” is so 2001. It’s not that you MUST send a pic, but many clients out here are sending/including pics anyway. RentMen allows clients to create profiles and include pics. That also goes back to what I was saying about Adam4Adam. Despite it being an inefficient site, it does allow providers to have a better idea of who’s on the other side of the call. I don’t require pics, but my philosophy is this: if you can see what I look like on a ad, I shouldn’t have to meet a client not knowing “anything” about them. It’s more than just a Preference thing, it’s a security thing. If we reverse the story here, it would probably do good for a provider to at least have some idea of who they’re meeting beforehand

As some may know, A4A has a section for providers…but it’s limited to “massage” only. I’ve advertised there for years, but my current profile I’ve had since about 2018. Recently, my pro membership expired…but I had forgotten that I needed to renew. So, the other night I logged in and seen lots of responses. I sent my template out with my service as I usually do, but apparently it must have been to guys who seen my profile in the non-pro state, and I must have got reported. I received an email saying I’ve been suspended for “illegal activity”. I wrote to them that I wasn’t thrilled about it, considering I’ve been a supporting member for at least 3 years. Also didn’t imply anything illegal, but I guess they felt differently. As much as I find use for the site, I also feel being on there is a waste of time. I may get a single client over the course of an entire “tour” (that’s visiting cities over a week or 2). But most times, it’s just people wasting time and BSing. I even got a separate number for that site, to keep track of when I receive texts and to also not display my main ad number, as there’s more often than not, trolls that be on the site. But for the most part: nearly every city I visit, I seldom get bookings from A4A. Despite it only being $30 and likely to be made back, sometimes it’s more of the mental cost involved that isn’t worth it. It’s similar to how backpage, HourBoy and Craigslist were: sure you’d get some clients, but at the end of the day: what is it to only get 1 or 2 bookings over the course of a month? That said: I did meet a pretty good client from it couple weeks ago. That’s what makes me continue to post on it for many years. But when the site is catering to tattle tells instead of making it a useful platform, that’s where I really doubt continuing to support it.

This is an unfortunate story, however I’ve been in this situation at times. I hate to say sometimes you gotta kinda “go with the flow”, but sometimes a situation can make you feel like you rather run before you actually get a feel for it. That said, I just had a situation like that last week in Georgia, and the client had the nerve to bitch at ME and write a review. Long story short, he dicked me around for 3-4 hours the morning I was due to check out of my hotel, then when I paid extra to extend, he still didn’t show up. I offered to instead go to his place since he was saying he was “on his way” 30 minutes before the 3 p.m. checkout time I arranged. Even offering that I could “stay with him” When I went to his place, he came out shirtless (in broad daylight in a suburban subdivision). He dithered around in the garage, then wasn’t showered when I arrived (his statement). Sheets weren’t on the bed. I proceeded to get my massage/lotion bin out…but he turned on some wicked themed porn and wanted to mess around orally. Also, I step out the room to use the bathroom, there’s some guy walking from the kitchen to the living room who looked grungy and high and I had NO IDEA he was there. After an hour and about 20 minutes, I needed to go meet with family, and so did he. Before I arrived to his place, HE offered to let me stay at his place (which I declined having never met him before). However, we were supposed to had met later that night after our family events. I was texting and calling him and getting no answer. Later in the night, after I got back to my hotel: he started sending me all these text talking about I didn’t even give him a massage, that I scammed him, wasn’t worth it and blah blah blah. I’m like dude, I waited for your fucking ass all morning to show up to my hotel AND then came to his place and he wasn’t prepared at all. Then he held me up giving the other part of the payment (I had him cash app me $100 before going to his place because he had already kept me waiting long enough). I posted a alert on him, and I guess he seen it and went to put a report on me. Even saying, “I’m going to slam your fucking face into the ground” (good try). And no surprise: this was an Adam4Adam client. I once again question the merits of dealing with clients from there. Most of them are fine, but every so often a risky one pops up. 1 is too many. Even though I didn’t immediately feel in danger like the poster here described, it still was a headache to deal with, and the client certainly seemed to be on something. I guess moral of the story: there’s 2 sides to every story. I’m not doubting the experience the client here had, but I’d be interested (not) to hear the side of the provider in this situation. “You don’t want to fight me” sounds a bit forward. There has to be more…

Yeah I’m pretty familiar with Milwaukee. Only trouble with traffic I’ve had there is the snow and craters/sinkholes in the road😆 beyond the small stretch of 94 that goes into downtown can get a little jammed at times. Next time I go between Nashville and Florida, I’m just going to either take the Nashville down to Birmingham route…or let Atlanta be my overnight stop (versus Chattanooga which is not worth shit to try and catch clients in, I’ve come to realize). it’s not just Chattanooga either. When I lived in Nashville and would travel to DC or west to Little Rock on i40, there was ALWAYS (without fail) some debilitating back up with no way to exit. That state is similar to Missouri which occasionally has similar backups: they’re so fucking stupid to only have 2 lanes on a major east-west highway system that’s a gateway for many, and then also the locals drive like they got their driver’s license from the 3 stooges. It’s horrible. Georgia and Florida learned long time ago that you need 3 (and preferable 4) lanes of traffic on the interstate, if you want to attract a lot of tourists to the area. Missouri and Tennessee are behind and still struggling with development…so backups never cease.

Exactly. But on my way out of the downtown going north last Sunday, it was pretty smooth sailing. The problem traffic came when I hit Chattanooga. Idk what’s up with that town but it seems to also have stalled traffic and accidents. Seems you have to go after midnight to be in the clear. I’m currently in the Midwest, but with the exception of Chicago and Saint Louis, you can usually detour around it. But the caveat with the Midwest in comparison to Atlanta is: it gets very tired and sleepy here in the Fall and Winter. Even though Atlanta isn’t my taste in a city, I appreciated the liveliness and the fact that it seemed like people (especially men of color but also others) desired to be there. In Kansas City and St. Louis, many in the Gay community just talk about wanting to relocate elsewhere. There seems to just be no zest or aspiration in these parts.

+100 about Atlanta!! It was nice to connect with @Shawn Monroe in Atlanta last month as a 2nd half of the holiday weekend. I haven’t done the gay nightlife in Atlanta so it’s good to know someone who knows the city (I often travel solo, and Atlanta seemed intimidating, despite me having done Dallas, LA, Miami, SF and DC clubs in the past). However, Atlanta messed me up TWICE with traffic and parking. On the way to Florida, it took 2 hours longer than planned to get to Florida, because despite me driving thru the city a few hours before Friday rush hour traffic, traffic from Chattanooga to at-least an hour south of downtown Atlanta was still jammed. I wish there was a TRUE by-pass route (instead of the equally congested 285) to get to Florida from up north. Like actually build an “out of state tags only” highway that goes thru Atlanta with no entrances for city folk lol. While actually visiting Atlanta, my car got hit with 2 boots while parking in midtown. Apparently I had no idea that the street parking set up is designed to be obscure and no warnings are given out. Just automatic immobilization. It was horrible. That said: I avoid downtown hotels 99% of the time. The only time I’ll do downtown hotels is a place like Phoenix, Salt Lake City, Denver…western cities. BUT even then, I’ll ensure it’s a free parking hotel. Paying for parking is #1 why I avoid downtown. For $25 I rather buy breakfast. Why pay for parking when I’m already paying for gas and hotel anyway. So you’ll very rarely catch me staying downtown. I’ll usually stay the closest proximity to downtown without being there. Some cities don’t make that easy, others like Dallas with market center and Park central neighborhoods make that very convenient.

I probably talk about this every year, but every year maybe different. But we’ve made it Thru 2 holidays so far. I count Halloween+thanksgiving because there’s often a lull leading up to Halloween also. But despite all the “Happy, happy, joy, joy” that’s constantly pushed this time of year, I often feel myself waiting for it to end. It’s not that I don’t like holidays, food and the season…but with sex work I feel things are unpredictable. I may get a couple or few good clients, but the usual pattern is just a drab pace day by day. And to throw salt on the mood, Timewaster types seem to come out the woodwork AND more guys seem to pop up overnight. For example: the days before and during Thanksgiving: I was only averaging 1 client every other day/per location I was visiting. Not dire, but certainly not beating records either. The ideal solution would be to get some part time holiday job, but every year never happens. I find myself busy enough September, October, and first half of November. But after Thanksgiving/Black Friday, I just find things grind to a halt. May get some hits on maybe the 2nd/3rd week of December, but then drags on again until after New Years. And it almost never fails, every holiday season I have some double unexpected expense, and anything I tried to save up is spent well before Christmas. So Black Friday and Christmas gifts don’t generally happen. BUT, I am grateful this year because I’ve already purchased all of my needed electronics over the summer, so there’s really not much I need anyway 😆 But yah, it’s depressing. Fortunately I’ve started counseling so, maybe that’ll help in some ways.

Bump..

Wow, what town in Wisconsin is that? I’ve been traveling there for years and gone to some of the more rural areas. I don’t feel it’s any imminent danger to go to the rural areas. I mean there’s the likelihood of being pulled over (I was once stopped 3 times in 24 hours traveling between Milwaukee and some rural parts, but for odd reasoning). That said: I would say this, racism in the industry isn’t always as “Black and White” as ”not liking” a person. It can come in different forms. Even a client who likes an escort of color, may be racist in ways that seem cordial at first.

Not to steer the topic off the subject; but I’m pushing to be attending something next weekend in Florida that’s somewhat similar to the Palm Springs event; except it’s more geared towards the gay rodeo. 2-3 days event. That said, I might be willing to make an appearance considering I’ve not attended 2020 or 2021. It’s generally been a biennial/triennial thing for me. But considering today was a wind chill of 30 and snow started to sprinkle, any place with palm 🌴 and Spring ☀️ sounds nice right about now

Well Saint Louis isn’t “small” though. The City and outer neighborhoods are similar in capacity to Boston, Chicago and even DC. And the traffic is now heading back to pre-pandemic, hectic levels. I’ve seen some small cities lol. I’m talking, the cities where this is just 1 or 2 exits and then the rest is nothing. Places like Amarillo in Texas, St. Augustine in Florida, and Cheyenne in Wyoming are cases of small hit or miss cities. But when you talk about a hub city with a reasonable skyline that’s not performing, something is not right. I personally feel the heavy mask mandates in Saint Louis last year and into this year, is what has greatly affected the scene here. Either people got scared or businesses just weren’t thriving. They were more strict here than Kansas City, but Kansas City and Saint Louis kept going back and forth with it. Meanwhile the rest of Missouri is walking around like nothing happened.

I have to add another city that seems to becoming a least favorite: Saint Louis. Initially it appeared to be a favorable change of market from Kansas City in 2018 all the way thru last year. But lately I’ve noticed not only has inquiries become “stale”, but it seems several providers that were posted have vanished. Wouldn’t surprise me considering the past couple of weeks have been seriously deficient of bookings. And the Gay bar scene here seems to be on life support. Idk what’s going on with the city, but there’s definitely going to have to be some changes going into next year. Will have to look into a new city once again. But that’s the way it seems with cities and why I don’t necessarily have “favorites”. Things could be okay during a particular season, then nothing. Or it may be good for a couple or few years, and then either become overly saturated with providers or overly pricey to live and play in (Denver and Phoenix have been examples). Then you wind up feeling it’s nothing like it used to be.

That’s shocking! However I must say, many places have grown and changed over the last 20 years. Not that I’ve been in the game that long, but I know that things are different in cities now versus 2010. Southern California and L.A. IS however not a stranger to racism.

That’s what the 🐭 wants 😆 that’s also one of the things that bugged me about Orlando. Despite “gay Disney” and various spots for gays, and even a large gay scene: it was just so family and kid oriented. I once had to yell at a group of kids who stormed the hotel elevator. 30 people cannot fit on this thing, step the f**k back! Whenever I tried to date someone there, it was always about them meeting their family and going to theme parks. The gays played “straight” family guys during the day, whores at night. I hated it. It was also a very hard place to meet real people. Everybody was just as fictitious as a Disney script.

Oh yeah, add Orlando right to that list. lol But why do you say dull as dirt? I learned myself, despite being from Florida: that Orlando is not the genuine Florida experience. At least not from a “Kokomo” beach boys perception lol. It presents as very fake, and overly hustle and bustle while still trying to exude a “vacation” destination. On my last visit I met a couple of decent clients, but when I lived there, many of the clients were jerks and regularly not just flaked, but intentionally time waste. I’d also experience weeks of dry spells. I often had to advertise in other smaller towns in Florida (and drive to them) to make ends. I was so glad to be leaving out of there. I even had one trying to sell me this dream of working for one of the resorts, all the while he was just trying to find a way into a relationship with me. I’m like dude, are you going to be my client or my career coach? However, after living in Kansas City, I’ve come to realize there’s always “worse”. Kansas City and many parts of the middle-Midwest: that’s dull as dirt lol. And now it’s Fall, everything just going to be cloudy, brown and cold until April 1st. And these guys are so g’damn judgmental and phony. I’m almost considering moving to (southwest) Florida or Arizona/some desert place out west for the duration of the winter.

Based on when you say “early 2000s”, I bet it’s due to the hookup app-effect that has affected many cities as well as the escort industry.

It doesn’t bother me, provided I don’t get to the door and it’s locked without my knowing. I get annoyed fairly quickly if I arrive, the lobby or elevator is carded, and the client is saying he’s just in underwear in the room. I don’t like looking like I don’t know where to go or belong. I just like to walk straight to the elevators and go up. However, I’ve mentioned before that the number of hotel out calls has been in steady decline. I can’t really recall the last time I visited a client in a hotel. I know I didn’t see any on at least my last 2 tours. For whatever reason, hotel outcalls aren’t happening like they used to. Nowadays it seems everybody wants me to host. I recall a couple hotel outcalls in places like Phoenix and Chicago that have more travel traffic, and that’s possibly where the difference is. Cities like Orlando and Las Vegas have more hotel visitors. However even in Las Vegas, I was seeing more clients at their home than the hotels. But the Midwest it seems not so much the case.

Hmm, I’ve actually never worked in NYC…for the reason you stated. It just hasn’t yet compelled me yet to want to make the visit. However, NYC is more of an epicenter for hiring than LA is. It’s hub as an international and especially European gateway and diversity, along with tons of single, densely metropolitan and wealthy gives it an opportune edge that LA doesn’t quite have. Also, LA is geared towards a “type” (think Andrew Christian models), whereas New York has a wider view of tastes.

All in agreement here. Though, in the last few months I’ve not been shopping for a “Mr. Prince” because I’ve grown weary of all the frogs 🐸 and drama 🎭 I have kinda stepped away from boyfriend searching and focused more on just having FWB, but everytime I meet these guys THEY want to initiate trying to date and be with me, and then get disappointed about my chosen line. And I keep telling them the same thing that, if we’re just casually hooking up, I don’t see any need to volunteer what I do to them. It’s like, do they volunteer when and who they are dating and hooking up with before me or (very often) while getting to know me? Fuck no. So why the fuck should I volunteer my personal business if they aren’t being 100% transparent either? (Not swearing at you, but to those guys) And the other thing: let’s talk about the guys out here in “open” relationships who don’t always reveal their status either upfront. Even if they conveniently place it in their profile, it’s not always noticeable or it may be omitted all together. I went in on 1 guy earlier today who was trying to date me: how dare he call me out for not being “honest” about my profession, when my client specifically pointed out that of the guys at the party was his “new boyfriend”. And he conveniently didn’t tell me that upfront. I told him, don’t hold me to standards you aren’t even practicing your damn self. And that he’s no better than a sex worker himself, sucking my dick moments after seeing me the 2nd time at a party. Just like another guy last year who HIT ME UP, contacted ME on Grindr, and we proceeded to have mind blowing sex twice and spend the night together. But then, afterwards he started acting evasive. Keeping in contact, but not really available to meet again. I found out from my ex, that HIS ex is in a relationship with the guy. Then I see on Instagram the 2 are together. At no point was it ever mentioned. I’m so over it though. I rather be out here doing videos and modeling than to contend with this shit. There’s not even minimum wage payment being given for working with these guys out here.

Update: I recently revealed to another person yesterday about being a provider. I even sugar coated it to that I do “massages”. It did not go well. We’re still “good”, but idk how good. He was quite upset that I didn’t mention it sooner, but…we met on Grindr and he was gonna come over at 1 am. We only met a couple of times, and he flaked the 3rd time…then ended up in the hospital for a week. So, the opportunity to tell him simply did not present itself in an opportune fashion. But I’m starting to resolve like I may just remove myself from the whole dating/Grindr/hookup scene all together. It doesn’t seem like there’s anything much to gain to try and be a provider and mingle in the dating scene. All it’s been is just 1 disappointment after the next. Meanwhile it’s not doing anything to elevate or bring opportunity to what I’m doing. It’s just pointless. Majority of these guys anyway are in open relationships, or steady looking for the next best thing. Especially in the Midwest, there’s not enough opportunity and support for the biz to begin with. You see escorts in Denver, Kansas City, Nashville and Saint Louis, but in the Gay circles and groups.. it’s very DL and closed in. The “go go boys” and drag queens are about the only open display of “sex workers” you see in the Midwest, otherwise there’s not much acceptance from the average run of the mill gay dude. They say they’re okay with it, but they want to be okay with it on their terms: told right away, shared right away, etc. And with online, it’s hard to really be discreet much any more. Even I don’t tell them, they’re going to find a way to find out anyway. So yeah, I’m going to keep the guys around that I do have…but I’m out of the dating scene. Until I leave the biz, but I’m not rushing…I’m just going to focus on next leveling and elevating myself within the industry. Building expectation on dating right now is just a waste of time.

Exactly. And that's what I explained to this guy. Just like he has to go to work, so do I. He claims to have seen me online "available" while we were having lunch, possibly on a4a or another site. Seemed like he went snooping around and came across. That's why I can agree with @Storm4U to just lay it out early. But I did tell someone couple months ago and he cancelled me out for it. I told a friend yesterday, all these guys on scruff and grindr are prostitutes technically. They're all on there very often meeting and hooking up after barely knowing the person. Often meeting multiple guys in a day or week. If anything more so than a sex worker because I may see less guys than they do. Hell, this guy initiated hooking up with me at a party and sucked me off in his friend's bedroom. That's what gets me about gay dudes. They're so fucking judgmental and critical, yet they're doing the same shit in their personal life. Soon as you add money to it, they want to get all up the ass about what's right and wrong.

I can see that being a good decision. But the hard part is: many of my meets including this last one didn't start as dating. It started with a mutual attraction at a party (mainly from him), and then us finding time to hangout. All I wanted was to just connect and hangout (sex or no sex) on a non relationship basis initially. Some guys will push "opening up" to them, but it's not about being closed off, more about keeping my personal and biz "mode" separate. Also, part of the reasoning for not telling this person was due to fact I met him thru a client who attended a party and invited me. The client has a partner. Part of the rule between me and the client was that I wasn't going to mention anything about the profession. I could have mentioned it to the other guy on our 1 on 1 meet, but I had already had something fall thru earlier that day, and wasn't in the mind frame to bring it up.

Yeah I’ll add San Diego to that as well. It is very flakey there, and I get a vibe of intolerance and snobbery. Reminds me of Tampa in Florida and San Antonio in Texas. Also would be on a list of least favorites.

Recently had a falling out with someone "new" over the fact that he felt I should have told him sooner that I'm a professional. However, he kept saying that he doesn't have a problem with it. But then he would steady compare me being a professional to be akin to cheating. The understanding I was trying to convey: we only met on 3 occasions: 2 of those were in social functions and only 1 was 1 on 1. Personally, I do not like to reveal what I do to guys before I get to really know them. But in certain situations, people inadvertently find out, as it was in this case. Part of that reason is because, I experience guys being inconsiderate and disrespectful and using my position as a sex worker to justify that. Just because it involves sex with others does not mean it's okay to be dismissive, not view seriously, or be trifling when it comes down to core sex boundaries. That being said: it's been rough lately in the "dating" world. I say that in quote because it's not really dating, but more of just meeting guys once or twice and then having it turn into a waste of time. I almost feel like I have to choose between quitting being a provider or giving up interactions with gay dudes outside of Rentmen, in order to find a happy medium.