JB_Studio38

Thankyou, I definitely need to get up on that! How did you hear about it? I need to add A LOT of numbers to that list. I recently cleared my block list out of good faith and forgiveness: the numbers are quickly adding back up. Some don’t need an escort to give them a 2nd chance. They need someone to take their phone away from them, like a high schooler. I’m in between the Kansas City and Saint Louis region, and the flakes have been fairly consistent both before, during and after the brunt of the pandemic. Like @rn901 said, there are some upticks here and there where things seem to be going okay in this market, but it’s not consistent. Kansas City escort market seems to have gotten better post pandemic. Saint Louis’ has actually become worse after the pandemic. For a minute, I thought cities like this were just “shy” and maybe an escort has to live there and be able to discreetly host regularly to do well. Nope, I live 1 mile from a bathhouse in a centralized area. I can host and travel and I’m in a private residence. Yet they STILL find ways to be a pain in the ass. Tired excuses like, “sorry I ran out of time today” when they hit me up just 20 minutes ago and it’s not even 5 p.m. It really discourages me having been in the biz so long, and still having seasonal bouts of time wasting clients. What’s even more maddening, are the guys who show up once…and then flake on all subsequent times, and then pretend like the next time nothing ever happened. As if I don’t have the previous messages that they never replied to a response I gave them. I’ve been trying to screen people out with a couple introductory messages, and I’ve even taken all my XXX pics to private, and do not open them unless someone is specifically scheduling an appointment. It’s mitigated it, but still dealing with riff raft. Unfortunately I think certain areas like the conservative and repressed Midwest it’s hard to avoid idiots. Lot of those guys don’t have Craigslist personals to pacify their nonsensical bullshit anymore, so RentMen have become their new target.

The idea and concept sounds constructive on the surface, but unfortunately it's just not common enough to actually be reality. It's interesting because I see someone looking at that idea from a client point of view, which sounds compelling to the client because that's generally what they would seek. My personal opinion: despite the fact that I do wish more gay male escorts worked together and had a sort of "chippendales" camaraderie going on...I don't necessarily advise it anymore to have a mentor or someone "showing" the ropes. To me escorting is like driving: everybody has their style of driving. Just because someone "knows" how to drive, doesn't mean they should be a driving instructor though. You have to learn through experience, and actually understand the fundamental laws and concepts. Otherwise an escort can hire whoever and get whatever advice. Doesn't mean that'll make him successful or a good driver. I even had a falling out with one popular escort/porn guy because he was receptive to mentoring me, and I encouraged it to develop, but he didn't really appreciate my views on certain things and had a COMPLETELY different philosophy on certain things relating to sex. After that I realized that everybody going to work differently, and it's really not a one size fits all. One can hire a guy for advice, but there's plenty of porn and free grindr guys out there to practice and learn from lol. I allow myself a freebie hookup every so often, to keep myself attuned to sex in a non biz context.

Wow. Funny topic indeed, though with unintended consequences. And definitely short sighted on his part to assume a hemorrhoid is an STDs. Like, who said hemorrhoids are contagious? Now: if it was an HPV polyps that is a whole different thing. But sounds like there was just 1 bump versus several. In which case sounds like a hemorrhoid that should probably receive doctor attention. This reminds me of an advice given during this “HIV/STD” training course I was attending awhile ago. The instructor said every gay man, especially bottoms should have a designated “hole checker”. As in, have someone once a month/year to visually check your butt for abnormal stuff. HPV is an STD and if left untreated can lead to rectal and anal cancer. And if it ever has to be surgically removed, doing anal will be an unpleasant experience (just stuff I’ve learned from clients over years) However, there’s also something out there called “penile papules”. It’s a harmless non contagious thing that almost resembles HPV. But it’s not. So proper identification is important. That said, I don’t mind hemorrhoids, in some cases some guys look like they have a pussy with a labia 😆 not the worse thing. However I have twice met clients with excess skin tags right around the lower ass/thigh area. In cases like that, I generally have to cancel the session of any anal, because I’m easily grossed out about certain things (stuff like dirty, discolored linoleum floors give me the heebie jebbies). As far as the slagging of the sex worker: I get it that maybe he was a bit dramatic BUT I say this all the time: escorts are NOT doctors. We’re not in the biz to expose ourselves to deformities or extreme medical situations. That’s why I have my limits on what I’ll do and which clients I’ll see. You don’t have to be a beauty model but, I also reserve the right to not meet people if I see they have a condition I’m not comfortable with.

Whoa whoa whoa 🤯 let’s rewind and back this AAALLLLLLLLL the way up. First of all: I’m not letting any lowlife MoFos run anything. Let’s be clear on that. That said: in some ways yes, I do have to operate in ways that are going to be generally conducive, and not simply giving away free material with no return on the investment. So you’re absolutely right that, I am going arrange my business to not only cater to the best AND worst possible customers. Now: back to your statement, 2nd of all you don’t even realize what I’ve been through. I know that’s trite, but I’ve been through enough where I’m just tired of advertising to idiots. Having my time wasted over, and over and over and over again in the most insidious ways. I don’t live in an LA or New York or London where there’s dozens of gay or wealthy clients around the corner. Parts of the Midwest are certainly “challenged” when it comes to sex work. My current base is between the Kansas City and Saint Louis market, and even though Saint Louis is better than Kansas City, it’s still a lot of untrustworthy clients out here. So I really put up with a lot of daily; day in, day out BULLSHIT that has drastically changed me as a provider over the years. I used to only ask deposits for out of town visits. Now, I’m asking multiple times a week, just to protect myself. And I can never trust hosting anyone here, to actually show up. Because they never do, unless I get a deposit. Even though your logic sounds optimistic, the reality isn’t exactly that. And you can say, “don’t base your business around Timewaster’s”. But…don’t banks hire security guards? Have you ever been to a Chicago inner city neighborhood and wonder why they have armed guards, when that same bank in another city doesn’t? It’s the same thing with us as sex workers. Maybe the guys on Grindr are ok to randomly dish out nude pictures, but as a paid sex worker: everytime people contact us, make an expectation of a booking and don’t follow thru (after getting a nice serving of pics and possible videos), we’re getting robbed. Even worse, we may even be allowing it to happen. However: you also not understanding the whole point I’m making: it’s not just about serious clients and not serious clients: but rather; it’s the way the platform operates. RentMen gives us the option to have private pictures, but they give us no incentive to actually open them. Therefore, I have to choose myself what I wish to do with it. If I can make money off my private pics (which I have), then by all means I’m going to. In my own experience, I have met many Black guys out there (non-escorts) who don’t show privates, yet have no issue getting laid. So why is there this expectation that just because we’re selling it, we should give out FREE material to a bunch of useless losers (your words) in the hopes of getting the right ones to pay? FUCK THAT 🎤

Actually I have to refute that statement: it’s because of the level of demand, that I am setting the terms of the engagement. I have several reviews across the board on both RentMen and RentMasseur, and the only reason I don’t have much more…is because I don’t always ask for them (though many have offered). If a person can’t set the terms of the engagement, then what is the point of calling it self employed? Doesn’t make sense to me.

Lately, most of them don’t. Usually because once they learn I’m not magically available right then and there, they usually don’t follow back up for weeks or months. There’s some particularly annoying types in Kansas City who would do that regularly: Text me and ask if I’m available (always to host, because they can never host) like early in the afternoon when I’m not free. When I suggest a later time or try to arrange for next day, they never ever follow thru. But then will contact again a few months later and do the same thing. I think some people do it purposely just to be a pain in the ass. That’s why going forward, this partial Rentamenal shutdown I have going is going to remain in place.

Brilliant! Glad you understand that. In my case I do say I need advanced notice. But many just claim they don’t know how to get to the read my text section. I think they purposely skip it out of habit, in order to contact many providers at once.

That’s what I’ve wondered to myself as well (regarding booking system). I know since Covid some barbers have adopted the system. I even tried it out a couple of times: I booked my regular barber in Denver and then I went in and he wasn’t there. I called him, and he said he wasn’t there and was in quarantine 🤦🏽‍♂️ I think if I just had a regular massage studio, didn’t travel and actually lived in a city that I enjoy and have a steady stream of clients and healthy Gay social life…I’d probably settle down and just take bookings. But right now I’m planning for a tour that will cross 6 cities, and there’s not a lot of time for precision there.

Okay, let me stop you there. Don’t say “most”. If you’re going to quote, be sure to cite a reference. Because I don’t buy it. You even contradicted yourself: “MOST ESCORTS CAN MEET WITHIN AN HOUR AS LONG AS THEY ARE FREE.” well no shit? You think????? Guess what? I wasn’t free, that’s the caveat right there. I also didn’t have available now up like I was free either. you ain’t gotta tell me. Even if @xyz48Bdidn’t say it…I know many escorts probably aren’t just “free within an hour or less”. I can be at a hotel, in the MIDDLE of a busy city, bored, horny and hosting…and 9 out 10 I can’t even get someone to my hotel to fuck at the time I want them to. I usually have to wait several hours or even days, to find someone available. when I was in Phoenix last month, I did 1 freebie hookup: we met on Grindr on a Sunday but didn’t actually meet until Wednesday. Patience, is a virtue.

But you also have to consider this: we are not “business owners”. Not that you are implying that or not. Technically most “providers” are independent contractors, and that term is so broad, I used to be an “independent contractor” making $8 an hour cold calling (aka scamming) “clients” from 9 to 5 pm for a telemarking company (I get sick just thinking about it) I’m glad to know I’m doing something far more rewarding and honest than that. I lasted in telesales for maybe a year or 2, while this has been a 10+ year marathon…despite the setbacks, it’s been manageable and most frustrations are easily fixed by a simple change of city. But point was: back in the day many providers were “owned” by agencies and such. Massages may have been done at spas or whatever. Although you’re totally right about customer service defining, this is going to be a bit different industry as a whole AND that goes for BOTH sides of the occasion, whereas clients play the customer and they don’t always act like they’d do at a grocery store, so to speak.

Well I’m trying to focus on one specific thing here. Asking why scheduling is difficult, just leaves to many variables at play. You can’t get down to the bottom of something if you don’t first address the fundamental causes. And for me, the main fundamental cause is that (at least in certain markets) is that guys aren’t putting in enough conscious effort to schedule things. I don’t want to hear about someone “not knowing their work schedule” or “how long a dinner may go on”. That has nothing to do with me. The easiest solution would be: “hey, I’m interested in meeting. My work schedule is kinda funky, but can you be open to see me on either of these days at either of these times?” (Giving options, but if a person doesn’t respect a providers time, they probably won’t think that far ahead). As far as other details on scheduling difficulties, each individual is going to have different ways of booking. My booking process is very simply. I send the following: 1. Client info form (name, age, website seen on, host or travel. 2. My rates 3. There’s or my Location and Deposit form (if applicable) it’s that’s simple. However, some people mess up the process when they try to give me an unreasonable deadline to meet by. I can’t possibly be ready to meet “now” without having any of that info beforehand. People forget it’s not a 1 way street: sure you may see all of MY details posted, but I know nothing.

Not really sure what you’re asking? Your post was (understandably) about booking escorts and the difficulties of doing so (which I can imagine is true). But that’s more of a general, broad observation. I’m more interested in why scheduling visits in advance when it comes to massage, seems to be of the harder variety

Makes sense. However, I DEFINITELY have that I need advanced notice in ALL of my profiles. Some just don’t read it, or don’t know how to click and read the profile section (occasionally I have to screen shot my profile and send it to clients, highlighted, so they know it’s there.) Based on the responses, I’m almost considering not posting on RentMasseur except during the days/weeks I’m wide open available. And usually the main times that is, is when I’m traveling. The other dilemma with this is; why aren’t people calling my rentmen ad more often?. My RentMasseur ad blows up with inquiries at the last minute, but yet the RentMen ad I just renewed isn’t getting the same hits. And that one is more detailed than RM is. I can only imagine it’s another example of how certain cities are only busy when catering to the discrete m4m massage base 😒 It also seems that RentMen inquiries are “generally” (but not always) more adept at contacting with more notice. Is it that maybe RentMen clients see it more as a date, whereas massage clients see it more as an Asian spa thing?

I feel the ones who say same day visits only, may be trying to curb the other end of the dilemma: guys why do contact in advance, but then cancel on the day of. However, that still doesn’t really guarantee anything. I have had many clients reach out for a massage, and then “something came up” 30 minutes later. I remember there was a guy on here who said, if a 1st time client cancels on the day of, especially the same day contacted…they would get no 2nd chance. And that’s pretty much a policy I’ve adopted. Like.. we haven’t established enough of a “rapport” for me to let a last minute cancellation slide. But see: that’s why I try to be flexible. I don’t mind taking same day appointments. I just say I prefer 2 to 4 hours notice. I say that number because, that’s usually the amount of window I can work with, in the event I’m in the middle of something…without having to cut it short.

That I understand too, and is partially why also I’m having a hard time in the Midwest market (Kansas City in particular). Everything is just sort of on the whim, last minute squeezed between other schedules. It seems like it’s majority of the closeted, married or partner types who are contacting me. In some ways, this translates to lots of business…but in other ways it translates to a lot of business that I miss, because I never know when someone is calling. it’s not even so much that I need days and days in advance. But what I don’t like: someone contacts me at the last minute, and is like telling me they need to meet by (as in, giving me a deadline for meeting someone I didn’t even know existed, just 5 minutes ago.). If the massage is that important to them, they need to be willing and able to work with my schedule. Just like today: someone calls (which I don’t answer because I’m not “on call”) and then texts me this morning. I got some details, and was trying to get time frame. He’s asking to meet by 4 p.m. today, but I paused for a few minutes because I already had plans set in my mind for today (because when I went to bed last night, NOBODY SCHEDULED ANYTHING TODAY)…and I need to decide whether I really want to stop and drop everything, to drive clear across Kansas City and go meet him (which I didn’t feel like doing). Then he’s all like, “so do we have an appointment or should I contact you next week”. I told him if he’s trying to get me to meet by 4, then forget it. It’s not happening. Because right now, most of my outcalls will need to be during the evening. I told him, better to schedule for tomorrow because I’ll be out of town next week. No response. I actually went ahead and just froze my RentMasseur ad. I honestly just cannot deal with the same BS day after day after day. It’s the same thing everyday. They just text me in the morning or early afternoon, expecting me to be able to meet by 2 or 3 p.m. it’s almost no wonder there’s only 4 or 5 massage guys on RentMasseur in my area? How can you run a business when people can’t seem to have any patience or courtesy to schedule things ahead of time? Just because someone wakes up and feels like getting a massage, does not mean that someone online who has an ad, can accommodate right away. I think this has become the by-product of not having Craigslist and backpage anymore. I used to deal with people like that often from those sites, but of course those last minute types rarely became regulars, and some were just unpleasant to deal with.

No because that’ll be the precise moment that someone contacts me, asking for a massage…at the last minute 😏 But that’s a good line. Maybe I can use that every time someone asks if I’m available “now”.

I told the same person yesterday, I’d rather wait on standby until he’s done doing whatever. Better that, than to have to stop what I’m doing and “try” to arrive on time for someone who contacted me out the blue. I’m starting to wonder: how often do clients actually find someone available at the last minute? And how often is that person breaking plans or “always available” to take on a visit? It’s just not healthy. I stopped working that way long time ago. Occasionally I’ll post up and take something short notice when I’m traveling, but even that doesn’t always work. It takes a conscious effort to arrange a session. If a client can plan a dinner, plan a trip, plan whatever else they have going on…surely they can figure out how to plan time with someone of the same sex for a massage. And if someone can be social at a dinner, they can be social and say, “this was fun, but I need to excuse myself this evening. I have company coming over that I booked WITH AMPLE NOTICE and coordinated a MUTUALLY AGREEABLE TIME WITH”. I shouldn’t have to carry the burden of people who feel they have “more important” plans than I do. That…is the right way to get on to the wrong start. Hell…I did it with my group of friends at a nightclub a couple Saturday’s ago. I hated having to pull apart from the circle, but I had a repeat client who booked in advance. (last time he tried to book last minute, and he didn’t get lucky). After a couple of hours with them, I had to be on my way. So if that’s hard for a client to do, how hard does one think it is for me to do?

That’s understandable, but sometimes it not so much that I’m not available (in many cases I am), but I’m not really being given enough time to coordinate it. Like in the above example, client contacts me right on the middle of dinner. Not to mention, the hotel where he was, is 50 minutes to an hour away from me. Contacting me at 7:30 and being given a 10 pm time isn’t unrealistic..when contacting the day of. If that time was too late for that person, then I feel they shoulda contacted me earlier. it’s impossible for me to just “be ready” 24/7. Even “available now” on RentMasseur is for a maximum of 6 hours. And some would be hard pressed to believe: most times I put available now, I can be waiting around for 6 hours straight and nobody contacts. Therefore, I rarely even put available now much now, as that usually translates to just a waste of a day sitting around doing nothing.

It’s hard to accurately gauge this without being able to see rates posted though…

This is something I’m grappling with, as I’m in between on whether I want to keep advertising on RentMasseur. It just seems that with bookings from the site, people often text me without any opportunity to arrange a session. Just in the past 24 hours, I’ve had 2 people reach out to arrange a visit. I was unable to take either one because the 1st one was at a hotel and contacted me around 7:30. The typical “are you in…(insert city)” reply (I have an auto-response to deal with such vague inquiries, but it very often an indicator of someone who’s not going to be reliable). When I said I’d be available at 10, he says it would be too late, but would try me back tomorrow. Tomorrow is here and he never followed back up 🤦🏽‍♂️ It seems like the clients from RentMasseur just have no idea how to book a session with someone online. I don’t know if they come into it like they’re going into a store or barber salon or what. But it just grates my nerves. It’s almost a weekly basis I’m having to explain to a client from RentMasseur that, you can’t just text me an hour before you want a session and expect me to just be “available”. Why can’t they get it into their heads? Do people just expect massage guys to have or be at a studio round the clock? I hear people say, “oh I don’t know when my meetings or time will be free”. But if they’re too busy to meet, how am I supposed to help? And there’s only 4-5 guys advertising on the site in this city as it is. I get tired of people expecting me to drop everything and accommodate, when I’ve had no sort of idea of when to be expected to take a booking. I can literally be quiet with no bookings for 2, 3 days…and then someone will reach out asking to meet without any notice. And most times I end up not being able to take it because after so long, I actually do have to do something with my life. Or is this more to do with this thread, that seems to be the overall issue with taking bookings in this area.

I’m curious but perhaps it’s both lol, but the problem with that now is: one can’t do that because it’ll say “travel dates overlapping” or something to that degree. And so it won’t update. it’s just quite annoying because how are we suppose to plan a trip in advance, without any sort of pre-booking? In addition, I usually only travel for the purpose of doing client appointments. I’m not there on business, or a convention, or conference, etc. etc like most clients are. So, before I plan a trip somewhere, I need to make sure it’s going to be worth my time and my money. So I don’t waste my time, and my money. I have no idea if that’s possible until I post and advertise, and gauge the productivity of the area.

I know I might sound like a rookie just posting this. Especially considering I've been touring and traveling for years. However, I"m finding a new challenge lately, especially considering RentMen is different than the older Rentboy and Men4rent sites in how they allow us to post travels. Not necessarily in a "bad", just different. The biggest problem is: many clients see my ad in a city, and just assume I am there already before I actually arrive. And RentMen is so primitive that, if I have a travel city set for 10/15/2021...it'll move my entire ad to the city at 5 pm on 10/14/2021. Meanwhile, I may still be in the city I was in before the change. If I forget to check it, I may lose business and guys may think I'm in the next city over. The other issue is, because I'm forced to have dates to advertise in a location...I often estimate when I think I may be ready to arrive. And this is a big problem because I get clients complaining like, "you kept pushing the dates back". They may see I have arriving Friday on my ad, but I actually may not be getting in until Sunday by the time the week progresses. It can be hard to explain and convey the logistics behind it all, but theoretically, my travel dates are merely a "desired" time frame, with an optimistic proximity to those dates. Not an actual itinerary. When my finances, transportation, and serious client list all look good to go, then I'll make the trip. I appreciate guys being eager and expecting me to come to a city, but some like @BuffaloKyleare relatively patient and treat it like a family member aspiring to visit...whereas others seem to imply I'm inconveniencing them in some way, just because I move my travel dates back a couple days or couple of weeks.

Lol wait…I’m definitely not a “Midwestern”. I’m just an expat to the area. But I can definitely see the truth in that. However, my affinity for long drives actually started in Florida (it’s an oft common sight: people moving to Florida from Illinois/Michigan/New York, only to find themselves moving back after the 1st hurricane 😆 ) Then in Denver, it was either drive 8 hours or fly. I didn’t like flying because by the time I woke up to catch a flight, got stressed with the logistics of parking, shuttling, checking bags, TSA, lining up to the gate, turbulence, and then waiting for my bag plus figuring out transportation…that’s usually a whole day that I coulda been driving instead. But you pretty much gave a good reason as to why it’s good to be in a good hub, although I’m just not particularly crazy about the cities within short driving distance of Atlanta. Last time I was in Charlotte and Raleigh, I wasn’t thrilled with the clientele I was coming across. There’s almost the same vibe of “maybe they will, maybe they won’t” I have come across in the Midwest 🤦🏽‍♂️

My point exactly. Now I will say from personal experience: SOME of those dick-less pics may be stolen from Instagram accounts, and being used by someone else completely different. However, I have decided for now to keep some of my videos up, for that reason partly. However I understand clients have to be members to see those videos (although even certified Rentmen clients can be flakes and phonies too). However I'm considering deleting all and leaving just like 2 or 3. Afterall, what's the point of having my just forfans account? And also @Epigonos I wanted to add too: that's the problem also. There's no incentive by the site to really post nudes. We aren't getting credits to our ads or payment based on the number of guys look at our private gallery. So, even though it may not be "fun", at the end of the day... there's not much in it for us to be sharing these pictures. And going forward, my next photo shoots are going to include less nudity and more just general fitness photos.

Thanks for contributing. I can see your point about having a confirmed session, and in which case I suppose I can redefine that to more of "must be booking (as in, in the process of) booking a session. That means, far along enough in the interview process, like having basic info like rates, location and availability. It's really no different than how it is nowadays. The gay hookup culture has been overtaken by hookup apps: and no hookup app out there allows private pics in public. So...if anything me having privates out openly is a privilege to others, not their right to see. I know that technically, we "should" want to be able to post pics nude. Without a site being dictated by any sort of censoring laws and such. BUT... That doesn't mean I have to do it, if i don't want to. On top of that, I'm not even in a market that's very open minded. Majority of the escorts in smaller markets don't even have avatar nude pics. So, it's already being marketed to a fairly conservative base to begin with. As I understand it: you're in Los Angeles. You're used to seeing anything and everything under the sun....but it doesn't have to be that way everywhere. As for paying deposit: again, people can go on and on about it. I just know the feeling all too well. At the same time, I'll have to figure out ways to make it agreeable in the long run.