Jamie21

It sounds like he’s using you to explore his own sexuality. I agree with those who said he’s getting off on the dom sub thing. I’ll bet that if he hasn’t allowed you release yet then it’s unlikely to happen and if by chance it does then he won’t want to see you again because the ‘spell’ has been broken. I personally wouldn’t send the message to him, because it’s easy to misinterpret intentions from a message. I’d tell him next time you see him, before he starts, that given you won’t get a release you’d rather not have the sensual build up and just enjoy the therapeutic massage. See what happens after that. I like to give my clients a great massage but also always a release too (if they want it…most do). I think it’s a fetish if someone enjoys the build up but doesn’t want the climax, it’s perfectly fine if that’s specifically what they want but it’s very unusual.

It means you’re discerning in favour of quality older guys 😉

This is true, although I think ‘energy’ might be better described as ‘attitude’. If you behave as if you are attractive then that makes you attractive. Your attitude to yourself is a cue to how others might see you. See yourself as unattractive then it’s very difficult indeed for others to see you as attractive, and even if they do find you attractive you’ll probably not notice. I firmly believe there’s attraction in anyone and sometimes part of doing sex work is helping them find it.

Sometimes with larger guys there’s physical limitations about what they can do, regardless of any issues about what you as the provider are prepared to do. I can think of a client I saw who was very overweight. My massage table is wide but when laid on it he took up the whole width…on his back his belly kind of spread out either side. This guy was top and really wanted to top me as part of the massage but the logistics of it wasn’t simple. Unfortunately his size didn’t extend to all parts of him if you know what I mean so that made it even more difficult. I tried to ride him but there was nowhere for me to kneel on the table either side of him and honestly I couldn’t get all of him between my legs when kneeling so I had to squeeze his body up between my ankles while standing on the table then lower myself on to him. That didn’t work because his belly was then in the way for any proper penetration. So I turned around facing away and tried that way. I think he was in for a minute or so but because of fat around his groin and thighs it wasn’t easy to ride. We tried also with him standing and me bent over the table which didn’t work either because his belly got in the way. He told me afterwards that he’d not had sex in years because of the weight issue not really because guys found him unattractive (he said some guys sought him out because of his body) but mainly because he couldn’t get into positions comfortably. I didn’t get into talking about why he was so overweight but it clearly made him frustrated and I felt sorry for him.

Sorry to hear this, I hope you are ok. I’d say never ignore the warning signs. If his communication with you was strange at the start then that’s a good warning sign. It’s difficult because you want to give people the benefit of the doubt, and no doubt his pics etc looked hot but given that you’re intending at some point to be in a very vulnerable position with a stranger then you really should do the utmost to be careful about the type of guy you hire, and take notice of warning signs.

Some clients are definitely fascinated about sex work and they ask questions about it. Not necessarily to know about specific clients but I find they’re usually curious about things like how one prepares, finds clients, how many clients you see etc. It’s surprising what misconceptions people have so I’m happy to explain things if they’re curious but without mentioning names or revealing client confidential information. I also suggest they read the blog on my website which has lots of stories about my experiences (all of them have had details changed or omitted to protect the innocent ….sorry to protect the guilty 😉).

I can understand that. The job makes it difficult to hookup without thinking about the payment foregone. It also takes it out of you so that your desire for a hookup is diminished. And the random nature of the hours makes it difficult to schedule time for ‘normal’ social activities.

Some clients don’t have large windows of time for a 2 hour or longer session. I find that if they’re slipping out from work or getting in a session after work before they head home then an hour is easier to ‘lose’ than 2 hours. Especially as if you add travel time etc an hour session can take out 90 minutes or more from a schedule. The other factor is whether they can afford the higher cost of the longer session. Some financially stretched clients save up and book a session as a special treat so an hour suits them. From my perspective I find a 2 hour session is most preferable for me because it’s more cost effective and efficient. I’d rather see one client for 2 hours than two clients for 1 hour especially as I like an hour between clients so a couple of 1 hour clients can effectively eat up 3+ hours in a day for roughly the same revenue as one 2 hour client. However as a customer focused business I do offer 1 hour sessions because there’s a market for it…but I draw the line at requests for half an hour!

That’s not a sensual massage. That’s a massage with a 2 minute hand job at the end. That’s why it’s £40.

Definitely agree with this assessment. 1) is 90% of the time an exchange that never goes anywhere. 2) is the wrong type of client for me (I don’t do sex only sessions), 3) is looking for sex chat and 4) is definitely an instant block. “Hello I’m interested in booking but I have some questions I’d like to ask ….etc” will get a positive response. I’m a professional, it’s not necessary to be flippant, lewd or coy about arranging a session. Where I work selling sexual services is lawful so no need to be abstract in conversation either.

I think if you asked for services and the masseur goes further (and you accept it) then there’s no obligation on you as the client to pay more. You might give a tip but shouldn’t feel that just because the masseur voluntarily offered extra that you should pay up. If I go further than what my client initially agreed (and I’d be very careful to only do that if I’m sure he’s comfortable with it because people do sometimes want more once the massage has started) then it’s up to me. If a client specifically wants to fuck me or me fuck them as part of the session and it’s agreed beforehand then yes I’ll charge extra but that’s different to me volunteering extra after the session started.

Min time is an hour, in call or out call. If the out call is a long distance or time to travel then I price it accordingly. I quite like doing out calls to hotels or the client’s place. Often they are more relaxed in that environment, so it helps.

Agree. I wish clients would be more comfortable asking for what they want. But I also see it as my job to find out by exploring, which actually makes for a more interesting experience for both and can lead to some unexpected discoveries.

I had always assumed (when younger) that around 8 inches was average. My experience was mostly from watching porn so of course most of the hard cocks I saw were the large variety, and that mine was the same. I didn’t realise that the average cock is about 5 inches. Now that I’ve done lots of market research so to speak I know that 8 inches is average for porn. Had I known this at school I’d have made a different career choice. I can’t help thinking my careers advisor at school missed an opportunity: Careers advisor “so what interests you and what skills do you have?” Me “I like guys and I have a big cock”. Careers advisor “have you thought about porn?” Me “hmm I was hoping to be a pizza delivery guy or a pool boy but yeah porn sounds fun”. Of course I found my way to making porn / sex work eventually, but it was a missed opportunity!

You’ll probably find that those who do sex work aren’t representative of the general population in terms of cock size.

My massage rate includes activities like fellatio, rim, kiss etc. Clients ask for these things and I tell them it’s included in the rate. Ok so some activities are extra but not things like those I mentioned. I think many masseurs would consider those activities are more escort type work which I think is a fair point. I don’t think there’s a clear delineation.

Thank you for that! It made my day 🙂 Jamie x

I don’t mind clients asking for intercourse and I wouldn’t say it never happens (as in sometimes someone gets fucked) but for me there’s two issues with that. The first is most masseurs aren’t charging rates that are high enough to include intercourse and the second is that some clients only want intercourse. If you want a sex session book an escort. A masseur will focus the session on massage. As for including kissing and fetishes I would say it varies by masseur. I like to include kissing because I think it’s a natural part of a sensual massage but only if my client wants it. For some it’s just too intimate. Fetishes are also fine; I’ve had clients who like a bit of role play, being restrained, use of toys (dildos etc), having their ass smacked or their balls squeezed etc. All of these can be incorporated into massage. The key is that they are all set around a massage and not just a sex or bdsm session in isolation.

Here’s the clues to help you identify the escorts dabbling in massage. Usually at least one or more of these signs means he’s not going to give you a decent massage: He’s using baby oil. None of his pics feature a massage table The rate has lots of menu pricing options The rate is ‘ask me’. He’s available within an hour’s notice He offers half hour massage He needs a picture of you to book a session None of those in isolation is a sure thing rub and tug (except baby oil) but 2 or 3 of them means that when you’re on the table (or more likely his bed) after 5 minutes his finger will be up your ass. A proper sensual masseur wouldn’t slip it in until at least 70% of the session time has passed 😉

Hire in the UK! No difficulties here about asking for sexual services. His phrase “Most of my body” can be replaced by “my cock is used in the massage” here so that no one; client, masseur or police officer (who in some instances is the client) shall be in any doubt about it being that kind of massage.

You can’t offend him by asking what activities are included in his massage. If there’s legal reasons why he might be careful to explain what’s included then that might explain why he’s quoted escort prices and said he uses ‘most of his body’. So keep that in mind. But you can’t offend so don’t worry about that.

I’m not disputing these things, I don’t hire so I don’t know from experience but I do work in the industry so I recognise this kind of behaviour can easily happen. The business attracts a number of chancers who are looking to earn easy money. But you as a client can go some way to protect yourself from it by being a bit sceptical when you see an advert that looks too good to be true. The signs are all there…he’s new, the pics are all amazing, his responses by text etc are unprofessional….don’t hire these guys.

Definitely this! Don’t rush it. If I’m filming a movie and I’m bottoming then I douche with a shower attachment a few hours beforehand until the water runs clear. Then half hour before filming I use a bulb to make sure it’s all ok. Even then sometimes if we’re doing lots of positions and the top is hung then there might still be a bit of mess unfortunately. Nothing too bad but just enough to stop, clean up and carry on. If I’m seeing a client and he’s said he might want to top then I’ll use a bulb douche half hour before the client visit. Mostly with massage clients the fuck is one position, doesn’t last long and they’re usually not as large as porn models. I really don’t like to be douching too regularly because it’s a pain in the arse, quite literally lol. Much simpler to just top!

If there is one I’d say it’s higher than $400. The rate someone is prepared to pay relates to their perception of value. Some people would pay > $400 because that gives them access to something others can’t afford. It gives the client exclusivity, they can tell themselves they’re worth it. So for that client it’s not so much ‘fuck you’ (although of course literally it will be fuck you) but more like ‘fuck those who can’t afford what I can afford’. It’s similar with buying expensive watches, cheap watches also tell the time perfectly adequately but the expensive one gives the buyer the cachet of being special. The difference in quality of watch certainly doesn’t justify the price differential but it does keep out the hoi polloi!

He should have titled this post ‘$400 is too much…FOR ME’. Reminder: sex workers price their services according to demand and supply. Want lots of clients? Price low. Want fewer clients? Price high.