xyz48B

When both parties make an investment, it’s a better experience for everyone.

Hence why I don’t do deposits, especially if the escort leads with that before hearing anything about the meetup. I was burnt once. Not again.

You wouldn’t have a particular provider in mind, would you, mon frere? ?

Going to respectfully disagree. A client may conceivably has things going on after an appointment. @leftbench23 didn’t say if he had dinner arrangements or whatever at 9 pm or whatever. And neither does he need to share that. He had an appointment at 6 pm and the escort didn’t see fit to communicate til 22 minutes later. Depending on the nature of leftbench’s schedule, that 22 minutes could well have robbed him of a quickie before a stressful dinner meeting. Escorts aren’t the only ones with busy lives who value their time and expect certain pleasantries to be observed.

When I was in college, if an instructor didn’t show up, we only waited so long after the class would’ve started before we left. Ten minutes for someone who wasn’t tenured, fifteen for someone tenured. Waiting 22 minutes for someone, especially without any kind of word one way or another, and especially if the appointment was only an hour long, is much more than is required for simple decency, let alone professional expectations.

That’s again the notion of someone who could be a regular. Was your first time with him a quickie or more of a BFE?

No.

As I said, I’m probably playing with semantics and that’s part my issue. But when we have little more to offer than our time, if engaging that offer is a waste, then by extension, I’d say that the assessment is the person is a waste. If I don’t think someone is worthy of my time, whatever “worthy” might mean, then I’ve determined that there are other things are more valuable to do with it. If I choose to spend time on something or someone less worthy than something or something more worthy, then I’ve wasted time. Or perhaps I’m wrong? Who is anyone whom I’ve never met to make a determination about my worthiness to interact with? Particularly someone who’s marketing their time? To make the determination without much data “you aren’t worth the time” stings. Perhaps I’m too personally invested and have psychologized this a bit too much. But the whole “don’t waste my time” directive is insulting. In my line of work, if I would say that to someone, it would be cause for a major, major hullabaloo. And I’m not technically compensated for my time…I’m compensated for my work, the things I do during a particular time. But I’m supposed to be reachable at any time. Telling someone that they’re wasting your time is effectively telling them they’re a waste of your time.

I hire guys who it’s their job. I have a regular who’s since gone on to other work, so I assume the money I pay him now is “play money.”

@JoeMendoza – I can’t conceive of a world where a BFE would be possible in an hour. I find that regulars are fine communicating “off the clock.” Which makes me question the whole “paid for time” line. I guess what rubs me wrong is the idea that communicating with me, in any regard, for anyone is a “waste.” In my work, unless I’m on vacation, I’m available 24/7. Yes – sometimes I’m more on than others, but I can never say, “This is categorically off limits time.” What would be more honest is to say that you’re not willing to invest the time communicating with a potential client who may well end up not coming through (honest and we seem to be saying that’s what “wasting time” is) than saying someone is a waste of time. Perhaps I’m playing with semantics, but it really rubs me the wrong way.

Is it possible to waste a client’s time? I was thinking about it. Is that a sin? Were you a researcher before retirement? You’re one to talk about “recurrent subjects.”

I was considering something... Some guys almost exclusively hire for 1-hr or 2-hr sessions where the objective is to fuck and part. There isn’t a lot of reason for client or provider to worry about the other’s history or background etc. Unless there’s some sort of fantasy or fetish or something that’s going to be worked out, there’s not a lot to hammer out beyond time, place, rate, and who’s topping and bottoming. Right? Then some guys want more. They may book for a longer time – overnight, weekend, a week, etc. They’re looking for a BFE. Something beyond dick in, dick out. The “connection” is important here. We spend time on this forum talking about escorts who feel their time is wasted by clients, including clients who want to “text constantly.” Now, I can see how that could be a problem. The escort does have a life and does have other responsibilities to attend to, no doubt. We all do. But it occurred to me when booking for a BFE, it seems that a certain amount of getting to know each other before you meet isn’t unreasonable. *snark on* If indeed payment is for time, then am I the client also expected to pay for the time needed to get to know each other for an enjoyable, believable BFE? I’ve had escorts who are good about chitchat texting before we meet. And my experience has been that the BFEs are so, so much better with the guys who make that little investment outside the physical time together. If the client’s pleasure is the top priority, as so many guys advertise, it would seem they would build into their business model and expectation time to make that pleasure for a BFE. If not, don’t advertise BFEs and stick to the shorter sessions that don’t require the same kind of prep. Aside – so help me God, if @marylander1940 tries to “move” this thread...

I had had erotic massages for a while, and then I decided what the hell. My boyfriend and I had just broken up a few months prior, so for my 28th birthday, I gifted myself a BFE.

I saw a provider regularly for a while who used his Ivy Leave education as a selling point. After a while it got insufferable. To me, using that is a red flag.

And something else I’ve said about him is I don’t give a fuck about his Ivy League “credentials.” As far as I’m concerned, Ivy League or no, that’s no bearing on escorting. Not a factor, let alone a “credential.” If you want Ivy League cred, apply to JP Morgan for work. But don’t expect it to make a difference in my decision to hire you to fuck me.

I’ve said before, in texting him, I’ve found him politely arrogant and arrogantly polite. It’s a vibe. My opinion.

If an escort advertises same day only, I pass. I’m not paying you for a hookup that I can get for free.

I’ve just always assumed RM is the real market.

Did you meet? Or are you just appreciating digitally? (In all meanings of that word!)

“We value your voice” these words, or one similar to it, are ones that I tell people in my line of work always. Most of the time I use those phrases to placate people who I actually have no intention of doing anything with their opinion. I hear it, recognize that it’s been heard, and then move on to do something different. Perhaps unrelated to the OP, but nonetheless important to discuss in the wider frame of “communication in society,” particularly given the polarized nature of political discourse in the United States, what does it mean to say “we value your voice?” Not every opinion can become a reality. In fact, many opinions are diametrically opposed to each other such that they would have to exist in paradox at the very least. And in particular in this forum, do we in fact value all opinions that are expressed? And valuing something doesn’t necessarily mean that we see it as worthwhile. I can evaluate some thing to be not worth my time. That’s not what I’m trying to say you meant, however, @liubit. Just considering what we say and what we mean. What we need to communicate and what we actually communicate.

Where I come from, we say, “The squeaky wheel gets the grease.”

What exactly are you saying?

I would hope that we are able, to the best of our ability, discuss those things. One thing I’ve learned in my work that is largely unfruitful when someone is sharing a point of view is that offering the “have you considered X” point of view to reconsider and possibly change or contextualize a situation really doesn’t help the discussion. Out the gate, don’t provide a counter example why I’m perceiving something the way it is. Before you do that, you validate the perception expressed. It’s important to recognize that validating someone’s feelings isn’t saying they’re right. It simply recognizes them for what they are. In my original post, I wrote about some clients on here who almost invariably will validate certain escorts but provide alternative views to their fellow clients. Why that difference in approach?

To me, that’s more than shit behavior. It’s outright dangerous or despicable. Shit behavior is just rude.

From a provider seeking business it’s odd to ignore a prospective client...Wouldn’t you think?