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That should be arranged before arriving. I’m not unreasonable but the assumption that’s part of the time I’m comping for is unreasonable. If you need to use my shower, that’s not a problem. You need to communicate it beforehand.

No one pays me to shower before I go to work but it’s expected. Come to work ready to work.

Acting like my time is of less value than theirs. I’m busy too. And part of the job, if you’re advertising kinks, fetishes, or BFEs, is investing the time to know what is being looked for and if you can provide it. Or want to provide it. Echo the bit about remembering when we finally meet up what we discussed beforehand...Keep a notebook if you must. Business... Acting like they’re doing me a favor by spending time with me at all. If I’m paying you, the high school pettiness of you being superior is off.

Many, many escorts use an app to text that’s not there regular phone number. That way you protect some of your identity and you can turn off notifications when you’re “off the clock.”

Every time the escort insisted on a deposit up front, I got burnt. That doesn’t mean I don’t offer to pay something ahead to show I’m serious, but I think I’d really think twice about being asked for a deposit.

He won’t tell you anything unless you subscribe to his OF. The RM ad and his high price ($2500/hr stated above) might be a strategy to simply get more revenue through RM and not actually have to meet up.

Everyone is so goddem woke they can’t see their own flaws...

Many here are choosing to misread this. I’m saying we all have a way of putting our issues with other people on other people. The problem isn’t ours. But of course, how we treat people is. And some matters aren’t acceptable things to point out as flaws, particularly character flaws. Instead of saying, “Hm. Maybe I do unfairly judge people based on their body size,” we have all kinds of excuse-making for why that’s okay. And hell – maybe it is. If there were a survey here, seems that the majority opinion is that fat shaming is a-okay. It’s the fat person’s “fault” they’re fat. Someone who has purple hair...Should we mock them? Body piercings? What about folks who gauge their ears? Tattoos? All things people are judged on they have control over on their bodies. What about someone who chooses to wear glasses instead of getting corrective vision surgery? Or wear contacts. Is saying “four eyes” acceptable? For what it’s worth, Mr. @Guy Fawkes, I lost 110lbs and was more miserable then than I ever was in my life. Is that the goal? Slim and trim and acceptable to society’s standards but miserable? Contrary to popular opinion here, I do believe we can expect people to behave a particular decent way toward people about things related to their physical bodies. Personalities is another thing altogether. But your physical body is another.

Long and short here is...Fat people deal with other people. Deal with it. Remember when sexuality was considered something people could change? Those were the days...

The last time I reached out to you, I didn’t get a response. ??‍♂️ Check your PMs from January 22...

The assumption that folks should want to change their weight is fallacious and sizist. Newsflash: not all fat people are unhealthy.

Human nature maybe not. But human behavior can be influenced. Just because it’s hard to change someone’s behavior doesn’t mean it’s not worth working on. That is, if it’s something that rises to the occasion of working on it. Maybe sizism is acceptable.

Twas a springboard for a larger conversation. I don’t expect anyone to change their behavior because I’m unhappy. But a conversation about the larger phenomenon is appropriate. Apples and oranges. Okay. Like I said – similar. Apples and oranges are both fruits. Sizism and racism are both isms. Neither is a good thing. Sizisim is acceptable? Racism isn’t? Is that the takeaway?

We have a problem, men. Particularly gay men... In a post (cf. here) we have a poster who feels it's completely alright to fat shame. This kind of attitude has a name. It's called sizism. And the gay community is rampanent with it. Far too many in our community are caught up with a very narrow view of what constitutes beauty. That goes for body size as well as race. And that brings me to the point that I want to make, by way of introduction here to the broader topic. Imagine, if you will, for a moment, the poster of the above post had made similiar comments about someone's race. That would be completely unacceptable. And rightly so. But as it is, the poster felt it completely acceptable to not only resort to fat shaming in an attempt to make himself look better, but he felt justified in doing so. The thing is, no matter the poster's faults, in our gay community (and I might say society at large) it's not considered unacceptable to fat shame. It might be considered ill tempered, rude, or impolite, but it's not unacceptable. For the record, I'm quite happy personally with my body image. I don't need to justify my size to anyone. The fact that I recognize that my body is bigger than most is just a factor of my self-awareness. It's also a factor of knowing that many off-the-rack items don't fit me. That's part of being who I am. A similiar situation is faced by many non-white folks, particularly black. Think about how they go on and on about having trouble finding someone to cut their hair properly or haircare products, just by way of example. We live in a world that privileges white folks. We also live in a world that privileges folks who are a certain size. Seeing that for what it is doesn't mean you have body image problems. It means you’re aware. So back to the problem, men... What are we going to do about it? Are we happy leaving fat shaming as something ill tempered, rude, and impolite but still acceptable? Genuine question. There are those who will mention they don’t find it tasteful, but that’s where it ends. It’s still acceptable. No one is going to standup to grandma for a sizist comment the way they would a racist one. The talk about the bear community is moot. That fetishizes fat the same way that BBC is fetishized. We would never say that BBC is somehow an example of how racism is overcome in the gay community. So don't say the bear community is an example of how fat shaming is overcome either. So again I ask: are we okay accepting fat shaming in our community? Some would complain that white guys don't want to hook up with people who aren't white. For various reasons, and at the end of the day, many of those reasons don't measure up. The simple fact is that people are racist, and in the gay community, we have a lot of racism too. The simple fact is also that people are sizist, and in the gay community, we have a lot of sizism too.

A shitty attitude can make any hot guy ugly.

@Jarrod_Uncut – Why do you write asking for input, and when you get it you offer up counter points and explanations? If you don’t actually want input, don’t ask. You should consider what the lowest common denominator in all your escorting problems is. You would find it’s your favorite thing of all...

That would require self-critical reflection.

@Hetgeen, you mean that despite the high-tech PR campaign here, I wouldn’t be missing anything in this “collab” if I subscribed?

Always love that ? regardless when.

Well, Mr S was eye opening ? I didn’t ever imagine some of that stuff. Sadly, I don’t think the harnesses there will fit me. My chest is well over 50”

Has anyone been able to make actual contact with him recently?

I find it hard to believe I’d be comfortable with a guy fucking me if I couldn’t tell him my name for fear of blackmail etc. If I was worried about that, I’d never agree to the meetup. So the idea that a provider wouldn’t give a real name is sort of beside the point of the bigger issue of trust and security. If I don’t trust you not to blackmail me, I don’t trust you to fuck me.

Going to check out Mr S tonight!

No. 1 rule is if you’re uncomfortable, don’t meet. End of the day. No one needs to justify why they’re uncomfortable. Neither escort nor client owe each other an explanation if one party is uncomfortable.