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I’m glad I enjoy my work. The day my work becomes “just a job” is the day I start looking for another kind of work. If he could keep doing his regular work while on vacation, thus saving actual vacation time, it seems to me that what he’s doing with me isn’t his primary focus. I have to disagree that the escort is supposed to entertain me the whole time. He went to the beach for hours by himself when I stayed in the room and read. He napped because he got up early for work meetings. He went to the gym without me. I wasn’t expecting him to spend 24/7 with me nor spend every waking hour to cater to my needs. He’s a regular. As is the guy I ended up asking to go instead. They know I don’t expect them to entertain me 24/7 and they have their space as they need it. I’m not unreasonable and realize they’re people. I want it to be an enjoyable experience for both of us, and I recognize that time doing your own thing is part of that. I wouldn’t have regulars who want to be up my ass, literally and figuratively, for the multiple days we’re together.

It’s one of my faves – and is so often apt!

What irks me is that what would be considered a diversion for us plebeians, a diversion we have to pay for, some escorts see as work to be comped for. In effect, a lot of escorts are paid to have fun. Do I fault them for finding a way to party and get paid for it? No. Bully for you. But don’t try to tell me it’s onerous to go to Folsom and get paid for it by a client if you’d go paying out of your own pocket sans paying client…You’re getting paid to have fun. I have similar perks in my job. I have people who will pay for me to go out to eat with them or pay for my ticket to see a show with them, but I’d go anyhow and I’d pay myself if I did. It’s a perk of my job, but going out to eat with my clients who sometimes pay isn’t “work” in the same way that sitting down with them is when they make an appointment to see me in my office. Right now I’m a tad irked at the behavior of some escorts when it comes to this sort of thing. I need to put in for vacation for next year for various reasons. I’m looking to travel abroad. I don’t want to go alone, so I contact a regular. Explained to him what’s up and his answer: “I’ll have to see.” Like…you have to see if something better than a FREE VACATION ABROAD comes up? Not only free, but paid to go. Add to that that last time he and I went on vacation, I had no issue with him working his regular job remotely because the time difference allowed for him to get up early local time and we still had the day after he was done with work. But still. He was paid to go on a free vacation. And he’s not sure he wants to repeat it. I decided I would ask my other regular who immediately said it was great and we’d make it work however need be. I wanted to go somewhere with him anyhow, but the difficulty with the first guy really disendears me to him…

If there agreed upon standards that providers and clients could expect, the problem would be less. As it is, there is way too much guessing and blaming happening. And sadly not all escorts nor all clients are at all reliable or courteous. And there’s way too much sense of entitled superiority going around for all.

@Jarrod_Uncut– I broadened the question to ask why scheduling is difficult period.

@Jarrod_Uncut, you point out an interesting dichotomy. If you read a thread I posted a few days ago (https://www.companyofmen.org/topic/129543-setting-up-a-meet-or-appointment/?do=findComment&comment=1897372), you’ll see that some ultracrepadarian forum members said my wanting to be direct in planning and stating what I wanted was a turnoff. Here, you as an escort, say that’s what you want or even demand. What are we clients to make of this? Should we be upfront and direct about what we’re looking for or should we take it slow? And how are we to know when approaching a provider if he needs specifics upfront or will be turned off by niceties? Not talking being rude here, but it was suggested to me I was too direct about what I was looking for as an explanation for why an escort stopped communicating with no explanation, while you (rightly to some degree, in my opinion) want to know the client is serious about arranging an appointment. So what is the right approach?

I took the plunge and looked at the photo collection on the Paperboy site. Looks like a man dressed up to basically look like a woman…Which I know is great for some guys, but I find it gimmicky in Playboy. Add to that the site is effectively a merchandising platform more than anything else.

The death of H. Hefner didn’t help one iota. Wonder what he’d think of a non-print publication…

I didn’t realize Playboy magazine was still a thing. I wonder if they’re doing full nudity for him. 😈 They lost a lot of subscribers when they went to no full nudity. Also. Good job at being inclusive or whatever. But their “readers” are, by many miles, straight men and maybe lesbians. Neither one of those groups want to see a dude, naked or not. It shows how desperate they are to be relevant.

Why?

Indeed. And it sounds like set on doing just that. We all have the freedom of choice. We don’t have the freedom from consequence. All our choices have consequences.

Any time you attempt to say some other profession or situation is “like” escorting, you’ll have people on here ready to pounce and explain why not. They will be quick to say they’re not the same. Of course “like” doesn’t mean one-for-one the same, but you will face such backlash. The notion here among many is that because escorts are largely goodlooking men who provide a much sought-for service, they are given carte blanche to set whatever terms they wish for their services and expect no one to think it’s unacceptable. Of course, not everyone here, not even all escorts here, feel this way, but many a vocal one does. But whatever the case, drawing parallels or seeing relationships between escorting services and any other (service) business will earn you the flack of quite a few providers and clients on this forum.

I didn’t realize you were a provider, @marylander1940!

I’m fanatical about cleaning out and eating psyllium husk before I know I’m going to bottom for this very reason. Even with a condom, having feces in the mix is just not fun – not for me and I can’t imagine for him…

My PCP told me even though I’m on PrEP I should still be using condoms with whoever I’m sexually active because you can still get other diseases. So there’s that.

I don’t mean to sound like I’m whining. Perhaps it’s a (dys)function of the written medium. I’m actually trying to highlight what I see as hypocrisy. And to understand the logic of those responses here that are assigning the blame wholly to me. Hey. Maybe the problem is me. I just have always thought that every relationship or communication, no matter how superficial, is a two-way street at minimum. I have a hard time believing the problem is all me, but maybe it is. The collective wisdom of so many folks couldn’t be wrong. And no – I don’t consider myself a victim. The provider doesn’t know enough about me for me to be his victim…

Maybe…or maybe the provider is just not a good provider, as are many providers. Maybe…Maybe… 🤷🏼‍♂️ Why is it we’ll paint clients with wide brushstrokes but providers are to be afforded every imaginable possibility for why they don’t behave with some level of decency, even when it pushes the limits of reasonability? I’d contend the out-the-gate assumption that every client is going to waste your time is a problem. Maybe some providers are fine losing the business, but it seems to me if making money or, as so many providers advertise, providing a phenomenal experience for the client is the goal, then providers might want to learn more about a potential client before determining he’s a potential danger. So let me understand. My suggesting a 3-night BFE was out of line? That’s poor form. What then of providers on RM who specifically stipulate not to approach them unless your message includes your name and what you’re looking for and the dates you’re looking for? We all know those ads are there. For him, that’s needed. For others, it’s not. Sorry that I don’t have the energy to perform the necessary triage to determine if a provider needs a casual text to not be spooked or a 56-slide PowerPoint presentation to consider me serious. I, for my part, tried to send a polite message that was direct and to the point. It seems courtesy would say I’m owed a “Sorry, but I don’t think you’re the client for me” or “Sorry, but I don’t think I’m the provider for you,” instead of saying “sure” when I said what I was looking for if it wasn’t in fact okay. In the world I live in, “sure” is an affirmative response to a question or request. So it just really baffles me that someone can say the issue was asking for a 3-night BFE when the response from the provider himself was “sure.” Unless of course the escort wasn’t genuine – which, to come back to the OP, is a huge problem on Grindr. Guys on Grindr will say anything to get a hookup and as soon as the need is satisfied, they disappear. My point about mentioning Grindr communication in relationship to RM was that some providers behave the same way, but expect to get paid whereas on Grindr the meetup is free. It’s almost as if the providers who behave like this on RM feel entitled to be paid for deigning to be with a guy in any way, shape, or form while wanting to behave according Grindr norms – not really out to provide a service. If that makes me an evil person for feeling that way, I guess I’m an evil person.

🤔 With me?

To @jawjateck’s point – if I wanted casual, one-to-two word, unsubstantial communication that has little-to-no potential of actually manifesting in an actual meetup with a guy, I’d go to Grindr. I have higher expectations for RM communication…

@RJD, it’s almost as if we’re supposed to me mind readers! Whatever the case may be, the provided text “conversation” was poor on the part of the provider. If he wasn’t interested, for whatever reason, in multiple nights, then say so up front. If that’s the issue. He never indicated however that was the issue. Everyone else here seems to think so but that’s only surmising what could be the problem on my part, because of course the problem is mine, not the escort’s…

I’m going to disagree. I’ve hired guys (my three regulars for example) for multiple nights out the gate and it was a perfectly fine time. And…if that was his issue, it does seem that saying so would be the way to proceed. This is just one example. I don’t always lead with a specific about time spent to together. That just had to be part of this exchange. The pattern of behavior cuts across different providers, regardless if I mention time spent together. If the issue was the time, it would’ve been nice to be told that. And it doesn’t seem that it was an issue when he said “sure” in response to that. Unless of course the “sure” was an empty “sure.”

My issue is not selectiveness. You clearly haven’t read that in my responses to you. I’m done responding to you on this post on this matter unless you can move beyond the matter of selectiveness. That’s not my issue.

Good advice. I like to plan, so it does complicate things, but perhaps another time a week or two later will bear more conversational fruit. It’s perfectly fine if after a conversation I, he, or we together decide it’s a poor match, but it seems better form to actually engage in that work. If it’s worth it…

Let’s clear something up: I have no issue with either provider or client being selective. My issue is the inability to have a substantive conservation before any decisions are made. My original use of the word “selective” apparently was unfortunate. Hows this for an edit…To get to actual point/problem: Second full paragraph: I totally get when it is clear that a potential client is likely not a potential client. But how can you know if a client is serious in four texts between the two of you that total less than 50 words, sometimes less than 25…? Hope that helps get us back on the track I intended to be on…If you say “sure” to answering some questions and then disappear, that’s not good form. No doubt it’s his prerogative, but it makes me wonder what I’m doing wrong, as it seems that you want say I’m doing. What is the indicator in the conversation shown that demonstrates I’m not a good potential client?

I hate coming across as pushy. I can appreciate being busy. Totally. It happens to us all. I still maintain there’s a difference between the guys who see this as their livelihood and those who see it as a side hustle.