Monarchy79

Just wanted to put out there, that as we are  debating about this, the said escort is possibly still having unprotected sex with unknowing clients. Some of those clients may not be using condoms. Some of those clients may not be on PrEP. Some of those clients may have asked of his status, and are being told that he’s negative as well. 
 

19 minutes ago, marylander1940 said:

No doubt!

They love putting gay men in jail and stigmatizing HIV under all possible circumstances.

 

Well prosecuting those who purposely infect others, actually cross all spectrums. 
quite a few heterosexual men are currently in prison for having unprotected sex with women, and not disclosing their status. 
 

31 minutes ago, latbear4blk said:

Hey, I am not triggered this time. I insist, you are misreading my posts. You are running to judge and "held accountable" someone after hearing only one part of the story. You repeat that I said it is OK to lie, which is only in your imagination. You are suggesting that this man should be reported if he has committed a felony. If that is not HIV stigmatization and sex negativity, we may just have very different mindsets. 

Anyways, I do not really care about having a debate with you. I was trying to give advise to the poster, whether or not he agrees with it.

I never stated that you said it was “okay to lie”, about anything. I ASKED you, if you think it’s okay to lie about such matters. 

4 minutes ago, Monarchy79 said:

hypothetical

5 minutes ago, Monarchy79 said:

Ahhhhh, 

I now remember your “trigger”, from past forums where we have clashed…. The myth of “judgment”. 

I’ll just say this:

1.) Judgment is a part of life. In very general terms, judgment is simply a conclusion or an assessment, drawn from observation. we all make judgments from what we observed. You in fact, made a judgment towards the comment I posed on this forum. And that’s okay. There’s nothing wrong with that. We all make judgments. 
 

2.) Here’s another thing… accountability is a part of life as well. All of our actions have either benefits, consequences, rewards, or punishments. The OP’s actions had consequences. He has come to grooms with that. However the other party in this scenario also has actions. He has not been held accountable for his actions. Your belief that a person who intentionally lied to another sex partner about a health condition, when asked, is wrong. It’s wrong because it’s deceptive. It’s wrong because it’s dishonest. There’s no other way to shape it. 
 

if you’re telling me that it’s okay for someone to flat out lie to a sex partner (when) about the status of ANY transmissible health condition, and give it to them, then we will always disagree. 
 

 

My hypothetical scenario wasn’t directed as a response to your post. 
 

Edit: The OP came to “terms”, with the consequences, not to “grooms”.

I willingly accept any judgment imposed  from that typo….. 

1 minute ago, latbear4blk said:

Correct. Obviously, your arguments do not convince me. You jump too quickly to judge one of the parties without knowing both sides of the story. 

Ahhhhh, 

I now remember your “trigger”, from past forums where we have clashed…. The myth of “judgment”. 

I’ll just say this:

1.) Judgment is a part of life. In very general terms, judgment is simply a conclusion or an assessment, drawn from observation. we all make judgments from what we observed. You in fact, made a judgment towards the comment I posed on this forum. And that’s okay. There’s nothing wrong with that. We all make judgments. 
 

2.) Here’s another thing… accountability is a part of life as well. All of our actions have either benefits, consequences, rewards, or punishments. The OP’s actions had consequences. He has come to grooms with that. However the other party in this scenario also has actions. He has not been held accountable for his actions. Your belief that a person who intentionally lied to another sex partner about a health condition, when asked, is wrong. It’s wrong because it’s deceptive. It’s wrong because it’s dishonest. There’s no other way to shape it. 
 

if you’re telling me that it’s okay for someone to flat out lie to a sex partner (when) about the status of ANY transmissible health condition, and give it to them, then we will always disagree. 
 

1 minute ago, latbear4blk said:

Please, read my posts more carefully. I clearly stated that the escort acted wrongly. I am not justifying his actions or saying he has not responsibility.

The fact that you are misreading what I clearly wrote, allows me to think that this IS about HIV stigmatization and sex negativity.

My hypothetical scenario wasn’t directed as a response to your post. 
 

I have a hypothetical question:

Let’s say that I have been having sex with a guy for the past year, throughout the entire pandemic. He tells me that he has not been vaccinated, but I tell him that I am vaccinated, so it’s cool to hook up. 
months later, he catches COVID, is in the hospital, barely makes it out, and later asks me if I’m sure I was vaxed, because he contracted it. I later tell him “my bad, I lied to you, and never was vaccinated, and tested positive for COVID, but never endured any complications. 
 

Are you all telling me that I hold absolutely no responsibility in this scenario? 

37 minutes ago, latbear4blk said:

Let's be clear: I disagree.

Let’s also be clear:

You quoted a snippet of my statement that you disagree with, and intentionally omitted the rest of my posting that supported that statement. 
 

Is it me, or does it sound like the commenters are more concerned with protecting the identity, image, and life of the person who infected the OP, than they are with the OP? 
 

Let’s be clear: This isn’t about HIV stigma, shaming sex workers, or anti-sex-positivity. 
 

let’s focus on the bare bones:

1.) The OP and the partner have been frequently having sex.

2.) During this entire time, the partner has LIED to him, telling him he is negative.

3.) The OP then finds out he is positive

4.) When questioning his sex partner, the partner now reveals that he has lied to him about his status all along. 
 

That’s dishonest, wrong, and is a felony in many states. Point, blank, period. 
 

My heart goes out to the OP. ♥️

On 6/24/2021 at 2:42 PM, BonVivant said:

What has been the experience of folks on this forum with Atlantis cruises?

My first and only experience from October 2009 was not great. I was not treated well on the cruise by others. It all started from the welcome reception and just got worse.  I was body shamed (5’10” 36 inch waist) (I would have been fine on a normal cruise) (it was a tough year and I just wanted to relax). People wouldn’t even sit with me for dinner or socialize.  I ended up eating by myself in the cafeteria. I also had two different cliques openly make fun of me whenever they saw me. I finally had to confront them to stop and it went up to to the Ships officers who basically told them to knock it off.  They also advised me to try and have fun on my own. Basically, what I learned was that it is only really for the lean six pack abs muscle set. All others should stay away. I will never go on another gay cruise. Ever!! 
 

What about your experiences?  

Let me tell you something about nasty, miserable bitches who play those “mean girl” games. 
Never ever give those insecure, cum dumpsters the satisfaction of allowing them to disrespect you, ever!!! 
 

No offense to anyone, but I’ve never been impressed with “A-List”, Gays.

 They’ve always been bitchy, tacky, lame and disgusting in character. 
 

I wouldn’t subject myself to being stuck on a weeklong circuit party on a boat…. 
 

Eventually, I’d have to throw a “Ho Overboard” 

The Spa at the Mandarin Oriental

The Wharf Spa by L’Occitane at the Intercontinental Hotel. 
https://wharfintercontinentaldc.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/11/Wharf-Spa-Brochure.pdf

I just started referring to (and addressing) everyone as “it”. 
 

One more thing my dear Jarrod, 

An open book gets read…..

Just because you’re cool with someone, doesn’t mean that they need to know what you do for a living. Being open and honest with everyone you come across, is never a great idea, as (just as you stated), many gay guys are messy, and will use what they know about you to throw it in your face later.

If you’re going to socialize, you must do it strategically. 
 

On 6/24/2021 at 2:21 AM, Jarrod_Uncut said:

Not to mention, my “friend with benefit” apologized for insulting me (and by insult I mean him using explicit verbal abuse for the very fact that I even expressed by disagreement)…but he failed to understand why I had an issue with him trying to game  my friend: 2 months after we had just had full on flip flop sex, and he waited until we hooked up a couple of times to say he wasn’t looking for anything serious, but yet was always wanting to spend time around me, even doing a trip together. It was very sleazy, and too soon.
 

1.) if your “friend”, didn’t understand the full-spectrum of his “apology”, then he’s not remorseful of his actions. Further, nothing he did or said was accidental. I’m not sure why you’re even accepting his apology. The nasty things he said to you were  a reflection of his true feelings, which were unmasked in a quick fit of rage. 

2.) Your “friend with benefits”, should have never been such a thing. 
What he should have been to you was a paying client. This dude sounds like a manipulator (a cheap one), who wanted free services (and got them). You are in-deed, a business, and you must see yourself as that all the time. Just think, would an attorney provide regular legal services to a “friend?”. Are plastic surgeons giving free face lifts, and Botox to their buddies? Nope. So as a sex professional your pants shall remain zipped, until fees and method of payment are confirmed. 😉

On 6/24/2021 at 2:21 AM, Jarrod_Uncut said:

 

As for drama: I’ve learned that unless one removes themselves from all gay congregating activities that revolve around meeting/dating (bars, apps, etc) there’s always going to be some degree of drama. I see many of my older clients and they’re drama free mainly because they don’t do bars, apps, socials or any type of Gay stuff. Just family and long term friends. Which is understandable in your 50s and 60s, but at early/mid 30s…unless you’re fortunate to have a partner, you have to do what you have to do, otherwise life can become extremely lonely, and sadly even innocent connections can lead to shit shows. A lot of gay guys out here are messy, especially in cities that are surrounded by intolerant, gay repressed towns because gays are taught they are nothing but a sexuality…and that other gay men are only good for the purpose of sex 

 

Now I understand you pathology…. 
Well I’ll tell you this:

1.) Quality over Quantity is a real thing. Having a bunch of messy, problematic associates, who bring nothing but drama, will keep you busy, and “entertained”; but provide absolutely no quality, fulfillment or authentic enjoyment. The buzzing of apps, being in a bar wish bad music, trashy hoes, and poorly made drinks is overrated. To put this into a light-hearted  perspective, one’s social “footprint”, is just like building one’s wardrobe. 
Do you want a full room, filled with cheaply-made, disposable clothes from H&M? Or do you want just a closet, filled with high-quality, well-made, long-lasting pieces, from Saks? 
Again, quality vs. quantity. 

2.) I somewhat felt that same way you did, and then at the age of around 35, I just literally cleaned house. Every single vapid, messy, dramatic, spiritually-draining frenemy’s contact info was erased and blocked (without explanation) and I moved on. Best thing I ever did. Your social life does nor have to mirror a season of the Real Housewives of (pick your city).

3.) Loneliness is a state of mind, not a state of being. This may sound hokey, but the moment you start really loving yourself, and getting to know yourself (and standing in that confidently), you’ll enjoy doing even more things by yourself, as you won’t need the presence of other people, to validate your existence. 
 

One more thing I noticed about you Jarrod is this:

You operate on a set of principles that’s connected to your core. That core is based on consideration of others and a code of high expectation of the behaviors of others. 
 

That’s your “Achilles heel”. 
I can relate, because it used to be mine a long time ago. 
 

What you must understand is that people have no code. The only code most people operate by, is self-service. 
Whatever pleases them or benefits them is of their highest priority. In most cases, any type of code of friendship, loyalty, or decency will go right out the window. 

Your associates cared about no code, because he was all about getting some action from your other friend. All gloves come off when a guy is on the hunt for some sex. No decorum whatsoever. 
 

When you get some free time, or plan to do some traveling that will include some downtime in airports, I recommend you read two books by Robert Greene: 

1.) The Art of Seduction

2.) The Laws of Human Nature

Once you fully understand how people are wired, you’ll know what to expect from them (which is little), and you’ll be better prepared for such situations. (Hence, you would have never introduced them two, because you would have anticipated one guy throwing himself at the other one). 
 

Once you learn how to better navigate with people, you’ll have less stress, and will be happier. You’ll also have less random associates too. 

Jarrod:

Eventually, you’re gonna have to make the tough decision of living a drama-free life. 
 

Otherwise, you’re just going to drive yourself crazy. 

On 6/7/2021 at 11:31 AM, Benjamin_Nicholas said:

Wow.  This thread got bitter, fast.  Yet somehow I'm not shocked by that.

As with many threads here, the anonymous judgement is quick and sharp, but until you've walked a mile in an escort's shoes, don't be an asshole.  The OP describes this guy as open and honest.  It was clearly an eye-opening conversation.

Self-care is a real thing.  It's not just vanity...  It's self respect.  

Whether you're in a looks-based biz or not, giving a shit about how you look is not a bad thing.  Eat right.  Stay in shape.  Skincare.  This isn't rocket science, however, it's something that most of America doesn't practice. 

We treat symptoms...  We don't do preventative care.

Make sure to add hypocrisy to go along with judgment.... 

It always cracks me up when people shame providers for maintaining an optimal appearance, yet these are the same people who will trash a provider if his pics aren’t current, he gained some pounds, or has aged  a bit. 
 

And dude, most people hardly maintain adequate , general hygiene, so you know  that skincare, fitness, and some dermatology will be a stretch... LOL. 

Those who are successful in ANY profession, put time, preparation, and effort into it. 
 

Much respect goes to those “Class A”, providers. 
 
And whether you’re an attorney, an sex professional, a masseur, an accountant, a dermatologist, a barber, or a car detailer, there’s always a difference between the lames  and the pros. 
 

As an aside, this is why I feel like people should never get into any business assuming  it’s “easy money.” The truth is that success comes to those who enjoy what they are doing and take it seriously, no matter what the job. 
 

Thanks!!!

I saw it. 

I’m glad that I’ve always been scared of having surgery. 

Good point. 
 

I have to see this episode of Botched. 
I’m going to search for it today. 

The fact that this guy paid good money to get “grandma arms”, blows my mind. 
 

Something seems sketchy about that website. 
 

Sorry i’m late to this thread.

However, I urge you all to approach reading this book with a different perspective. 

I read it, and it changed my life, for the better. I didn’t read it as a novel but as a study and reference guide. It helped me succeed in business, and in life.

The book doesn’t help you become a sociopath, but it actually helps you to better understand people, and how to deal with them. 

The sad truth about most people is that they aren’t trustworthy, will exploit others for their own benefit, and play Machiavellian games to thrive. People will stomp on you, for their own survival. 
 

The book has allowed me to approach people, with minimal expectations of their ethics, but not in a negative way. I better understand how others operate, and how to succeed in dealing in with them. It’s an awesome preparatory tool. 
 

The book does take off the “rose colored glasses”, but it’s definitely worth reading. 

Hi @Kazooi2432:

Can you kindly share (or PM me) the information for the 4 hand masseurs as well? 
 

I love 4 hand massages, and good ones are hard to find.