KennF

Every provider I've known who did porn was great except 3 in particular. I don't care if the guy does porn or not if he delivers is what matters.

Stay strong.  Clear boundaries and limits.  Communication,  communication,  and communication. 
If he can't,  then no massage is worth the psychologist visit 

It isn't just a fantasy,  but it takes a heightened maturity to have that level of communication.  Most people rarely communicate that clearly, hence blurry lines.
I have seen it work once.  But the dos, and don't, were tough conversations.  In the end it worked for about 5 years, until thr jealousy crept in.  😞 they made a cute couple 

Fully agree with this… after you’ve learned a lesson with this guy, if he continues to text, you will need to block him if this continues. Lots of fish…

Laid out my expectations. If he contacts me no payment and just for fun. If I contact I’ll schedule a massage. 
 
We met Friday night. Great massage. Fun after. Paid massage fee plus tip. Left happy. 
 
He messaged me to join him out for drinks. He paid. Went back to his place. He offered a massage. I was reluctant and he could tell. He said he enjoyed working on me. 
 
Ended up in his bed. This AM he asked for a “tip” as I walked out of the door. 
 
Just messaged him that we won’t be connecting again. 

Should’ve seen it coming. Thanks for the suggestions.
 

I second the leaving out filters ! idk how some of these guys decide if they're "muscular", "athletic" or "toned" and even the position filter doesn't help much as a lot are "ask me"
but yes, rentmen is the way to go! Unless you're outside the US, then also use hunqz or other local sites.
where can you get female escorts online? I've been thinking of doing an MMF thing

You have already gotten a bunch of good advice.  Sounds like you're in mid-Suffolk, so that could be the biggest obstacle.  We both know that people in NYC'ers are not likely to have cars.  They see someone from Suffolk County and don't bother. 
To overcome this, you may want to consider changing your approach and in your original contact let them know you'd like to bring them out to Long Island for a visit/day/trip/weekend.  Or, let them know you're willing to meet them in NYC.  Or, let them know you're arranging for car service.  
As for finding the right one or filtering... I leave as many filters off as possible.  Many guys skip over certain settings.  If you filter in Body Type: Jock, and a nice jock-type doesn't check the "Jock" box, then you'll miss them.  Look for guys that have had longer term active profiles by looking at the Member Since or Joined On dates.  Also, the number of profile visits will give you an idea on how long they've been around.  New profiles tend to be chancy and if you want a serious professional, you want someone who knows the industry.
But as for the which app... RM is probably the best place.  Just don't limit the area or distance.  At least half of the guys are traveling around the country.  In the hetero market, there are lots of choices next door, no matter where you live.  In our market, the guys are willing to travel more, but they need to see you as serious and direct.
 
Just my tuppence.

The issue is communication and keeping expectations about distance and time to go from A to B realistic! 
If someone is late because the metro/subway hasn't arrived or his uber cancelled, he should text you and inform you. The same applies to client! 
Also not everyone and everything is next door or just a few clicks away. Patience is a missing virtue nowadays therefore if you're late or you can't make it in 30 minutes as spoken just say it. 

22.4 minutes when daylight savings time is in effect......18.9 minutes when it is not.........as per Chapter 4, Section 8, subsection 4(b), paragraph 3 of Customs and Standards as amended January, 1968, and April, 1992

Reality is a free-market system exists, whether the business is legal or not.  BTW - Even if sex work isn't legal in the US, the IRS still considers it income and wants it tax revenue.  That's always a fun debate.
Not all of the market is looking for a low price point, and not all are looking for best value, or best quality.
The trick is to figure out your target client from the market and for the clients to figure out what differentiates one provider from the next.  That will dictate the competitors and generally the market prices.
Right now, I am at a different price point than I was before.  But I am also in the market for quality.  So, it is a value based decision.  Some providers are not willing to adjust, so the value shifts one way.  Others underprice what I would pay and the value shifts another.
What irritates me is when the provider lumps everyone into one group and expects that the clients will all react the same way.  For example, those that talk about how many times they've been bothered by emails or requests.  Sorry, that's not my fault.  I am reaching out because your marketing is working.  Please don't take it out on me that it is hitting others from which you don't want to hear.

You have already gotten a bunch of good advice.  Sounds like you're in mid-Suffolk, so that could be the biggest obstacle.  We both know that people in NYC'ers are not likely to have cars.  They see someone from Suffolk County and don't bother. 
To overcome this, you may want to consider changing your approach and in your original contact let them know you'd like to bring them out to Long Island for a visit/day/trip/weekend.  Or, let them know you're willing to meet them in NYC.  Or, let them know you're arranging for car service.  
As for finding the right one or filtering... I leave as many filters off as possible.  Many guys skip over certain settings.  If you filter in Body Type: Jock, and a nice jock-type doesn't check the "Jock" box, then you'll miss them.  Look for guys that have had longer term active profiles by looking at the Member Since or Joined On dates.  Also, the number of profile visits will give you an idea on how long they've been around.  New profiles tend to be chancy and if you want a serious professional, you want someone who knows the industry.
But as for the which app... RM is probably the best place.  Just don't limit the area or distance.  At least half of the guys are traveling around the country.  In the hetero market, there are lots of choices next door, no matter where you live.  In our market, the guys are willing to travel more, but they need to see you as serious and direct.
 
Just my tuppence.

I think this is true more generally of massage scene porn. Porn naturally demands a certain set of criteria, which may be very different from a real, private, in-person massage experience, even if that experience is erotic in nature.

I have an Onlyfans and a JustforFans, although I don’t promote my ‘in person’ massage work on the fans sites and on my RentMasseur profile and massage website I don’t mention the fans sites. I try to keep them both separate because I think it’s mostly a different market.
However some clients have found the fans sites and made the connection, and some guys who subscribe on the fans sites have booked massages with me. I don’t mind that but overall I think the porn films I make aren’t really reflective of the massage work if that makes sense.

As with all marketing and branding,  it is in the messaging.   Someone here or on RM can certainly add to their listed links an icon link for their websites..  where it gets gawdy or detracts from the shoppers intent is where, I think, it goes wrong.
When the verbiage directs you to a pay wall site for info...red flag.  RM is where shoppers go for live interaction, so directing their attention elsewhere is the disconnect.
Directing someone to a scheduling or information site, is good even it shows links for OF.
For me, I might prefer for you to show it to me while we are together, before we slept together.  Hehe

I had a bizarre experience several years back in DC, and I wondered at the time if it should have been enough of a red flag for me to have left the guy's place. First, the provider let me know that he had been doing some work on a rental property that he owned, and he was going to be a little bit late, like 30 minutes. This did not bother me.
I got to his place at the new time, and he rang me into his building. His apartment door was cracked. He had texted that he needed to take a quick shower. I went in to the room he texted me to enter and got ready. The water in the shower was running in the bathroom next to the room I was in. The shower kept going and going and going: 10 minutes, 15 minutes, 20 minutes. I didn't know if this was supposed to be some kind of a fantasy where I was supposed to join him in there or what. I just stayed in the room with a towel around me. Finally, after 22 minutes, he came out, dried off, and we started the massage.
The massage was alright, but that was such a strange experience. The whole time I was waiting there, I kept thinking that I should get dressed again and probably leave. I just couldn't understand what in the world he was doing taking such a long shower while I was waiting.

The lack of a face pic is always a non-starter for me.
I can get a faceless encounter if I want.  Since people always try to show themselves in the best possible way, if they hide something... well... there is a reason.

Now wondering if Simon has a OF page.  Nah.. don't care... I'll wait for the real thing.  

I've had the same initial reaction.  And recently had a last minute change of plans.  The provider asked to push it back a couple of hours.
The difference for me was he was willing to meet the original time and asked a favor after explaining his reason.  In return, I offered a different day/time or the original.  He agreed to the alternative and thanked me.  The encounter with him on the new appointment was FANTASTIC. 
We were communicating and had developed a rapport.  That made all the difference.

The lack of a face pic is always a non-starter for me.
I can get a faceless encounter if I want.  Since people always try to show themselves in the best possible way, if they hide something... well... there is a reason.

I agree. Anyone advertising on RentMen should be willing and able to meet in person. That’s the point. Just because someone does OF on the side doesn’t mean they can’t or won’t do in person meets. But I get it, some of them use RentMen as a misplaced advertising platform to plug their exclusively online presence. Clients browse RentMen to hire in person services for the most part. If clients wanted to view OF models on screen, they would go straight to OF. Kind of a waste of everyone’s time if it’s only a glorified ad/link for OF.

He must be because it's in his name.  LOL

Yes

There's lots of good advice here. I'm in NYC and there's lots of great guys here. However, they are highly concentrated in Manhattan. 
So as @KennF suggested, offering to get them to you is great. I live in a borough that is not Manhattan and it can be hard to get guys to come here (like 30 minutes by train). However, we have found guys who do outcalls and live in our borough, much closer to us. Sometimes they'll take an inexpensive cab over. Some ride their bikes. 
Another option would be to come to Manhattan for an evening, maybe check out a show, get a hotel for the night and set it up with an escort in advance. If you're looking for a BFE experience, it could be like a fun date night. My caution there would be to make sure you're dealing with a solid pro, who is not going to flake on you. I definitely have guys I would recommend for such a situation. 

Respect for offer the money.  And respect to them for refusing.
It would be about whether I wanted to make it work next time, or write it off.
I would have felt appropriate to either (a) leave some portion for his recognition of the issue, and make an attempt re-schedule, or (b) accept that you won't see him and respect his wishes with a "Thank You."
 

You have already gotten a bunch of good advice.  Sounds like you're in mid-Suffolk, so that could be the biggest obstacle.  We both know that people in NYC'ers are not likely to have cars.  They see someone from Suffolk County and don't bother. 
To overcome this, you may want to consider changing your approach and in your original contact let them know you'd like to bring them out to Long Island for a visit/day/trip/weekend.  Or, let them know you're willing to meet them in NYC.  Or, let them know you're arranging for car service.  
As for finding the right one or filtering... I leave as many filters off as possible.  Many guys skip over certain settings.  If you filter in Body Type: Jock, and a nice jock-type doesn't check the "Jock" box, then you'll miss them.  Look for guys that have had longer term active profiles by looking at the Member Since or Joined On dates.  Also, the number of profile visits will give you an idea on how long they've been around.  New profiles tend to be chancy and if you want a serious professional, you want someone who knows the industry.
But as for the which app... RM is probably the best place.  Just don't limit the area or distance.  At least half of the guys are traveling around the country.  In the hetero market, there are lots of choices next door, no matter where you live.  In our market, the guys are willing to travel more, but they need to see you as serious and direct.
 
Just my tuppence.