MscleLovr

I spend some months there each year. Aside from seeing a male stripper at a friend’s private birthday party, I’m not aware of any. I’ll ask my local gay friends and report back if they know of any

That’s true of South Africa in general where equal rights for gay people are enshrined in the Constitution. Even there, social acceptance varies: a great deal of the tolerance reflects tourism, consumer spending and urban interests; there’s still homophobia in rural areas. In Kenya, I’d urge you to follow the advice of @dcman above IF you insist on hooking up. Homophobia is more open there, and you should be VERY discreet. Bear in mind that not only is there civil unrest in the capital but also the really poor areas are close by - a well-fed, well-dressed American or European will stand out and be a target.

Please report back!

And yet the city authorities wonder why tourists (with all their spending) choose to go elsewhere

My “grace period” is 15 minutes. I feel that’s long enough to wait for someone who has my phone number and can contact me. When I was dating (both regular guys and providers), I was clear about making plans and scheduling a date…and I always messaged mid-morning to confirm that we were meeting that evening as planned. I only ever had 2 working guys not respond to my message and they were no-shows, so my ‘Plan B’ took effect.

Interesting post. I don’t know the Pacific NorthWest well, but I would have thought that your skill set would be in great demand. As a client and total top, I’ve always valued highly a devoted cocksucker and cum-eater. When I was single and between boyfriends, I’d run an explicit profile online and I had plenty of providers contact me. I wonder if that approach would work better for you too. Advertise online and state you’re open to one-off meetings with (your preferred characteristics of) a total top. I suspect you’d find plenty of horny guys, both amateurs and providers.

If this referred to Latin America & Spain and possibly Italy, I’d completely agree. I’m less sure about other European countries: I don’t go to bars but I’ve been clubbing in France, Denmark & Sweden. I was treated well but I was always with a younger partner so I’m not sure how an older singleton might be treated. Culture aside, I wonder if economic circumstance plays a major part. I found that younger Italian and Spanish men often were interested in an older man. Some guys were discreet in public and trading sex in private. Some men appreciate an older, more mature man. Some undoubtedly seek a sugar daddy. Certainly, when I spent a long time in Buenos Aires in 2007-2014, I was startled at first by how often younger men came onto me. It seemed that a well-groomed, smartly- dressed older man in Argentina is prized by attractive young men who are not sex workers as such but looking for support and offering companionship.

I take issue with the thread title. I don’t accept that there is a “major aversion” here. We all have our individual preferences and make individual choices. In the same way, I bet most posters here have a range of friendships. I have 3 friends with whom I go to classical music recitals; I have only 1 other friend who likes opera; I’ve several friends who enjoy going out for dinner; but I’ve only 3 different friends with whom I go on vacation trips. Alas, only 1 of my friends is older than me. But I’m very glad to have 4 friends in their 30s while most friends are middle-aged.

I do this all the time. I send newspaper cuttings or photos of interesting articles and exhibitions etc.…but ONLY TO FRIENDS.

May I ask what aspect that is? And why do you find it troublesome?

Intriguing topic. Some 15 years ago, I had a long drive in a taxi from the airport in Melbourne, Australia. The middle-aged Australian driver chatted to me about how he lived mainly in Vietnam but ‘commuted’ to Melbourne for work. He said he returned every 4 months to work for 2 months or so. He added that he made enough money in his time in Australia to live very well in Vietnam.

Stop overthinking the Preparations. Relax. Just get ready in good time to greet him. And Enjoy the experience. To make him comfortable, all you have to do is have clean linen on the bed and clean towels for him to use. Definitely do not put this in writing anywhere. And if you are concerned about the condoms, get some latex-free as well as the ones you prefer - sending a message to a masseur about this seems tacky to me. I say Do Not. What happens if the dog gets bored or misbehaves in your place? Or if the dog needs to go outside during the session?

For me, ‘Boyfriend Experience’ suggests a more romantic, loving encounter. It is the very opposite of a ‘Wham, Bam, Thank You Sir’ date. Obviously it depends on your companion but I would expect the date to comprise lots of foreplay with hugging, kissing with tongue, displays of affection and cuddling after sex. It would usually include oral sex and/or topping/bottoming. You would need to discuss the particulars beforehand. Depending on your wishes, the date might be just a physical session. If it is to be followed by dinner (or going out to a bar or club) together, you may want to discuss public displays of affection beforehand. My reason for stating this is that I once hired an LA jock-boy for a weekend in San Francisco. We had an intense and very sexual time the night he arrived. The next morning when we went to brunch, I was startled that he took my hand as we walked together. I enjoyed it even more when he kissed me in the cafe. I’ve always been out but I had no idea that he’d be so demonstrative in public

Have you emailed Rick Day? 😎

Agreed. When I dated ‘commercially’, it was always a handsome muscleboy, ideally aged (or looking as if) 23-30. And my long term boyfriends have all been that age when we first met. My current boyfriend is 40 years younger than me and we‘ve been together for 10 years. I know you said “usually” but I’ve ALWAYS been the top. And I love fit young men who bottom so readily for me. Another reason I love younger men is that I have a dominant streak. I found that many muscleboys have a submissive streak and enjoy giving pleasure to an older man. When between boyfriends, I often found that younger men initiated contact and approached me.

I disagree with your reasoning @newdad. Yes, the beaches are used by everyone but I’d say that means that the prevailing ethos is “Live and Let Live” The beach in Barceloneta, close to the W Hotel, is popular with gay men, lesbians, trans people etc and nudity is unremarkable. (That does NOT mean that people have sex on the beach). I’ve often gone there with my boyfriend (who is a younger muscleboy) and we might kiss and cuddle as part of lying in the sun together. No-one would object. The Spanish set great store by discretion and it would be seen as seriously uncool to take issue with the PDA or nudity of others. Equally I’ve been with my boyfriend to other beaches in BCN and visited seasonal beach bars (chiringuitos) to eat and drink - there is a relaxed atmosphere and gay couples are very welcome.

I felt it was a great, entertaining movie. It’s cliche-free, has good acting by all the leads, and I even enjoyed the quasi-70s rock music. And I’ve always liked Josh O’Connor since I first saw him in ‘God’s Own Country’.

Walking fast is said to be a reliable indicator of good health in old age, according to studies in the UK. (Of course, causation has not been established). I notice that when I’m feeling particularly energetic, I walk very quickly. I also notice that young people tend to walk rather slowly. That is perhaps due to them concentrating on their phones.

Very much agree. And it always pays to discuss and explore how a man feels about a certain type of date. This reminds me of a beautiful blond muscleboy-bottom (23) I met. He rarely advertised and his hourly fee was high ($400) but we had 3 dates of an evening before I asked him about playing overnight. He immediately said $2000 minimum. I was shocked but I outlined what I had in mind (sex before and after dinner, 7-8 hours sleep and oral in the morning). It turned out that he’d only once had an overnight date. It was with a fit top aged 30 and they had full sex before talking and napping…but the guy woke him up in the night and topped him 5x in total, so he got very little sleep and he felt worn-out the next day. So he liked my plans and he adjusted his rate to $800, and we were very compatible. We went onto date for 3-4 years.

I much prefer a gay man. Or at least a bi-guy. For a while, I dated a personal trainer. He was passionate in bed, bottomed for me and told me how much he enjoyed swallowing my loads. So I was very surprised when he declared he was straight (had a girlfriend and baby).

When I hired, I had a lot of overnight dates. That was over 10 years ago. Back then, I routinely paid $1000 in the US while in Europe (London, Paris, Barcelona) I paid the equivalent of $500; in Argentina and Brazil, I paid less. $1500 to a handsome muscleboy, a wannabe in LA with a superb physique, who did everything for me and drained me dry…3x that night. I very much agree. When the rates asked rose beyond that point, I’d request full-sex late afternoon, pay for dinner, and repeat the sex afterwards. All for the offered $1000. It was just as much fun and I was happy to sleep alone.

I congratulate you on being thrifty @Welshman. If you’ll permit me an observation, how is it that you spend so little on food? Do you follow quite a strict diet? I’m fit and healthy, but I spend far more on food as I regard good nutrition as very important.

Were you complaining about the lack of attractive men available to you? 😉

Mid-September is a great time to visit Mediterranean cities/resorts as the excessive heat of July and August should have gone. Spain is a good choice. Madrid is a great city tho I prefer Barcelona (with Sitges nearby). The Balearic Islands are delightful then, with long sunny days; be aware temperatures on some days may reach 30C/86F. Italy is also excellent and I like Sicily.

I can only answer for my brother: a large house in the country, overseas vacations, cars, an expensive divorce, a 2nd wife etc. Essentially whatever he wants…provided he doesn’t have to pay for it 🤨