MscleLovr

You have good taste @Joekgames He’s a handsome young man.

It’s very much your decision as to what you should charge overseas. Since you asked, I feel you should be aware of local market rates. Presumably you’ll be advertising your availability, so I imagine you will discover quickly whether enquiries translate into bookings. In turn, that will tell you if your rates are too high. If you have friends locally or make contacts in those countries you’re visiting, their guidance on rates (as well as social mores and the attitude of law enforcement) will be invaluable. More broadly, US rates are generally much higher than in Europe, Latin America and Africa. That reflects the legality of the business in some countries and a more relaxed approach in more countries as long as there’s discretion in public. I wonder if my own experience may help you decide. Years ago, I twice paid US rates in Latin America. Each of the men had worked in the US; one as an underwear model and the other as a fitness magazine cover-model. Both men suggested I pay the US rate for a date, but they spent much more time with me. One man was with me for all of the afternoon and evening (for just an hour’s rate) while the other asked a very full overnight rate but stayed for 3 nights.

My heart goes out to you @Charlie It is an unfortunate feature of our lives as we age. A lovely old woman (who was much more of a mother to me than my own Mother) once lamented that in her 90s, she had outlived all her old friends. And I’ve been enduring something similar in the last 18 months with the death of some friends of many years. I still have 2 friends from childhood and I have 3 ex-lovers who have been good friends for years. One particular case has hit me hard. A very old friend died and after 40 years of friendship, he relied on me for everything in his last 2 years. He left me his entire estate but I have unresolved grief as, only after his death, did cousins emerge to contest his will. The cousins were truly distant as my friend had no contact of any sort with them in the last 30-40 years. They have been vicious in waging a legal battle and it is emotionally exhausting to spend endless hours in lawyers’ offices going over the past - luckily I have the resources to pay for 2 law firms and an expert Counsel on estate law. It has really brought home to me the importance of not just making a will but ensuring that others cannot contest it (and cannot destroy evidence or steal property). It’s a great asset if you can find younger friends to help you. I have 3 such men in their 30s as friends. And I do have a young lover in his 30s who has been remarkably supportive, loving and helpful during a difficult time for me.

Sorry to read this @Pd1_jap I’ve no idea of your age but the long-term benefits (of exercise and eating well combined with weight loss) are considerable. I’ve always eaten healthily and I take regular exercise. Like you, I wear size 32 pants. Now I’m in my 70s, I notice many people of similar age - and some much younger - looking ill or unwell and moving slowly. It really is better to not carry excess weight. I did have a similar experience to yours about 12 years ago. I was in better shape then and I was hit up online by a nice guy, late 20s fit. We met for a date and it went well….until he confessed it wouldn’t work. He told me he was “into Daddies” and added “but you’re not fat. And Daddies should be fat” Don't lose heart. Keep exercising and eating well. Maybe invest in some nice new clothes that fit you well. I bet you’ll attract interest. (I did and met a lovely young man more than 10 years ago and we’re still together). If it worked for me, it can work for you.

This made me smile.The only time I had to buy poppers was when I was dating a lovely muscleboy. He prided himself on his physique and masculinity and never referred outside the bedroom to his submissive nature. He had a bubble butt. It was the tightest ass and he would always push my cock out at first, so I just had to push it back in. Then we had the best ride, and poppers were a great help.

Very much my experience too. I’m only a top, sometimes lazy and selfish, sometimes dominant, and always attracted to muscleboys. I found that often in their adverts they’d state “top” or “versatile’ but when I enquired specifically as to whether ‘we'd be a good fit’, they readily agreed to bottom. They sometimes mentioned needing extra time to get ready before meeting, but I never had someone ask for an extra fee. To the OP, I’d say that if you find someone attractive or their advert is appealing, just ask him. He might say No but he could suggest some other way to excite and please you.

I have no info for you but I congratulate you @tsgarp on your excellent taste. He looks as if he’d make a very pleasant date for an evening or more.

He has an intriguing approach to marketing. In my opinion, he’s honest to publish a range of photos…but not one of them is flattering.

I feel you have to address your nerves first. Otherwise you won’t have an enjoyable time. I too know people who’ve been kidnapped in Mexico but in both cases it was an “express kidnapping’. Both people were taken in a fashionable area of the capital while alone; one was walking, the other was in a taxi. Each was held for less than an hour and had to give up their bank card and PIN. Each was released unharmed. My simple suggestion is that you stay in a smart and secure hotel in Cancun. And if you hire, suggest you insist he comes to you (offer taxi fares if needed) and invite him first for a drink in a public area of the hotel. Then, if your instincts tell you something is “off” about the guy, politely decline to proceed and give him some money for his time.

I’ve always found it odd that a ‘virgin’ or very inexperienced bottom believes they can charge a high price for a top to have an unsatisfactory time.

If you want useful and accurate advice… perhaps you would state where you’re based (or where you’ll be hiring) and also exactly what you have in mind Something along these lines… I live in Boston but want an overnight date in LA on a weekday (or a weekend). And I want a boyfriend experience, so dinner etc before kissing, making out etc. Or I’m versatile and want to flip-flop during the night Or I’m a top only, I want to top 2x in the night and I like to be woken up by getting oral in the morning

Definitely. I’ve dated a lot of hard-bodied, muscled guys but I’ve never hired just for ‘muscle worship’. But from what I learned years ago on the ‘muscle service station’ website, what the guy who’s being worshipped will allow varies hugely. I did once date a guy in Buenos Aires (tall, handsome, beautifully built) - I’m a top only so was looking for a bottom. He told me beforehand he usually was just worshipped but we agreed on a vanilla date. On arrival, he was in white briefs and we went to bed straightaway. He started kissing and stroking me and I realised he was ‘taking charge’. I pointed this out and his response was ‘Lie back. I’m going to take good care of you’ - and he did. There was a lot of French kissing & stroking, mutual sucking and he brought me off with his hand. He cleaned me up and cuddled me afterwards. Later, I asked him if that was what he usually did. He said No as guys who contacted him were not usually tops or dominant; he normally did some dry kissing but he was stroked, he was sucked off and he charged extra to climax. So I suggest you be very specific about what you want to do and ensure that the two of you will be compatible.

You’ve had sound advice here @Dfwmate I’d agree with keeping it professional, but I do have a suggestion. I had something similar happen to me. It wasn’t a business relationship at all. It was an acquaintance: a handsome guy I’d seen several times at the gym but not chatted to. He happened to see me at a restaurant near the gym after a workout: I was engrossed in a book and nursing an espresso. He approached me unseen, from the side and gave me the best kiss on my cheek. He said he’d asked guys about me as he wanted to get to know me. I told him I was delighted by the kiss and he joined me for coffee. We’re now firm friends. I suggest that you compliment your guy. Tell him he’s the best kisser etc, and that it makes your day when it happens. Just smile at him and keep it light. He may be very pleased to hear this. It allows him to suggest taking it further, if he wants more than a client-provider relationship. Equally, he won’t be offended by a compliment on his kissing skills. If he doesn’t suggest anything other than a next session, you have your clear answer.

I’ve dated a lot of guys who were either muscleboys or young men with fit, athletic bodies. I always felt it was routine to discuss what they should wear in public on special occasions and in private for my pleasure. I’ve always enjoyed young men dressed well in a preppy fashion. I wanted them to dress appropriately for where we were going together - whether a fancy restaurant for dinner, a week at the beach or a winter-sports trip - as I wanted them to feel at ease. So for guys I was dating regularly and for friends with benefits, I’ve sometimes bought clothes (jackets, speedos, ski-wear etc). In private, I derive a lot of pleasure from finding my guys in good, well-fitting underwear (briefs and jockstraps) as I undress them. So it was very usual for me to take new guys shopping for underwear that they considered expensive. Some guys really enjoyed my spending money on them. And some guys got very aroused as I appraised them when they modelled the underwear for me at home. To me, it was a sound investment: I just used to tell the salesmen that I was going to buy multiple packs anyway but my boyfriend and I needed to see first what fitted him best. And I’ve very fond memories of the two occasions when different hot guys gave me head in a department store changing-room (once in Sydney, once in San Francisco) as I got hard with excitement as they tried on various briefs & jocks.

You have excellent taste @MassageCommunityMember Why not take the man for a test drive and answer your own question?

Why ask this again? You posted on this same topic on January 10.

The only way I know dates from years ago - find them on Instagram and send them a private message. I met several over the years, but not the man you mention. One caution on IG nowadays is that some guys have a manager for their profile and online bookings. So a polite and discreet enquiry about their availability for private work would be best

I’ve visited Africa many times, the latest trip was last month. Given the OP’s question as to hiring, I would urge extreme caution. Various countries have draconian laws against homosexuality. And there is often substantial popular endorsement of homophobia. Certainly, the tourism sector is important in various countries and as a high-spending visitor, a gay man is welcome. I am out and my visits have been with boyfriends and now my partner. We have not experienced any problems but we are discreet. I’d advise against PDA unless you are very sure of your surroundings. Feel free to ask me more specific questions if you have them.

Did you send him a polite message to enquire?

I feel you’re very trusting @Coolwave35 - much more so than me. I hope your vacation continues to be great and that you see lots more “hard action”. On long vacations, I never paid the fee upfront. My feeling was that I’d taken on the financial risks of cancellation by paying for the hotel and flights etc in advance. When I was on vacation with a ‘regular’ (a guy I knew well), I might offer his fee on arrival in the hotel room but usually he’d leave his envelope in the hotel safe until departure.

Simple question but, alas, the answer in the UK is more complicated. In England, Scotland and Wales the exchange of money for sexual services is not illegal (I think Northern Ireland is different). Some related activities are illegal. For instance, soliciting another man in public, kerb-crawling in a vehicle, keeping a brothel are illegal activities but the Police tend to ignore activities in private. The Police do act where they suspect people-trafficking.

They may publicly quote the same rate because of the very few sites for advertising, but….everything is negotiable.

Please do report back @Coolwave35 I’m particularly keen to hear about your activities in Buenos Aires, a city of which I have fond memories but no recent knowledge of nightlife, restaurants etc. I hope you both stay safe as the city can be difficult for foreign visitors.

Absolutely correct @pubic_assistance And certainly there is no ‘specific format’. It’s why I was always very specific from the outset with the nice, intelligent guys I met online. I was specific about what I enjoyed, how I liked to be pleased and the likely timing and frequency of activities. (As I’m a top, I am aware of the bottom needing privacy and time to prepare) And unlike the OP here, I made sure we were sexually compatible on the first date; I would never take a man on an overseas trip without first being sure that we played well together. The guys I met via Seeking were all 21+, mainly 23-29. They ranged from LA wannabes to Ivy League graduates and doctoral students. Overall, they were what I term “enthusiastic amateurs” and generally we had fun in bed at least twice-daily.

I applaud you @Coolwave35 for being so open about this mess…but I must also admonish you. You’re the older man. You’re supposed to be experienced, sophisticated and more worldly. Yet you’ve acted like a teenager. You need to exercise some impulse control. You’ve compounded the silliness by treating this man as you would a sex worker. Are you withholding some info? You’re entitled to do so, of course, but…Have you already had fun in bed with him? I’d hate to see you embark on a lengthy vacation without you being utterly certain that you are both congenial companions and very sexually compatible. Buenos Aires is a fascinating city but I would not spend time there with someone incompatible. Let alone in Antarctica, which is ‘another world’ where you’ll be in close quarters on the ship. I too had success with Seeking and I dated some very nice guys from there. Most often, I found the allure of a vacation or trip overseas was compelling for the men who were all “enthusiastic amateurs” (handsome, preppy 21+ and gay). My approach was to detail what I enjoy (flights in business or first, luxury hotel, good restaurants etc) and I’d emphasise that I’d pay for everything including his everyday needs. I would ask what his expenses (eg rent, gym membership, bills) might be while away from home and state that I’d cover all that. Then I would spell out what exactly what I enjoy in bed (eg I’m a top only, like to top in late afternoon before dinner, enjoy kissing and cuddling, and like to be sucked off to completion first thing in the morning). Also I’d discuss PDA as he may not be as comfortable with this as you. Bear in mind, Buenos Aires has gay rights and equality but I’ve also seen homophobia displayed there. Last, I’d ask his view on what cash he’d need for the vacation and what’s entailed in keeping you company. You may be pleasantly surprised by how modest his expectations are. I always gave ‘walking around’ money in the foreign destination. I was astounded by 2 separate men who offered me all that money back at the end, saying that I’d paid for everything so they hadn’t needed it.