Jacob_b

Is not Pretty Woman.
 
Is actually a gay themed movie. I think is a foreign movie. And is about this guy that escorts... and meets several clients... but then he meets this particular older guy and he makes the escort to fall in love with him. You can see how the relationship starts to change and what the older guy does so the escort falls in love with him... In once scene the escort stops taking the envelope that the client leaves for him with the money...
 
I would like to watch the movie again... but can't remember the name

Yup, you are not alone. Although i consider myself to be astute and smart etc., i sort of fell for a gorgeous masseur. I got massages frequently from him, brought him gifts, took him out for meals, etc. i just willed myself to hope we had a chance at a future, which was simply stupid and unrealistic. When the masseur pulled away from me during a massage, i felt rejected and that was the end. I felt stupid, used, and mad at myself.
 
I think my experience is not uncommon.
 
While a relationship could develop between masseur and client, it would be rare.

I would like to know the movie title.

As you can tell, this is fairly common. Every hobby has a dark side and this is it for us.
1) Disengaging is important. You may feel like you are “dating” but you are not. Don’t keep texting the guy. Don’t meet with him in person to “break up”.
2) If he keeps texting you (why wouldn’t he - you are a paying client) be respectful but clear: I have other commitments and cannot see you. That is not a lie - your commitment is to yourself and your own mental wellbeing. Get your priorities straight.
3) Make it stick. It is not a negotiation. Be polite but resolute. Even if it breaks your heart and wants to make you cry.
Block his number if you have to.
4) Learn from the experience. Professionals (doctors, lawyers, auditors) all learn how to grow a thicker skin and to maintain an emotional distance. You can do that too.
 
My comments probably make me sound like a heartless person. I assure you that is not the case. I care for many of the guys I have met. Experience is the hardest teacher... Good luck! ?

The escort I fell in love with had to move across county for graduate school. And then he moved back once he graduated but I’m pretty sure he has a partner now. We occasionally text (every 5-6 months) just to say hello and to wish the other well. And he had texted me recently wanting to get “reacquainted” sometime in the near future but I simply can’t see him again because I’m still in love with him and it would be too emotionally vulnerable for me to see him. I’ve never been the jealous type but when I had heard he had a boyfriend I was jealous, incredibly crushed, and hurt; that’s when it really struck me that I was in love with him.
I do realize that I can never see him again and that I have to stop sending those occasional texts as well. As much as I wish (or thought) there was some sort of deeper connection that we had made, I know in reality that the times we saw each other were merely transactional and that I just have to forget about him and move on.

It's easy to do. Part of what many of us are seeking is the emotional connection. And sometimes the provider is just so dam nice to us. It's easy to swoon. One fellow I really fell for once told me that "that sort of thing happens to him all the time." It reminded me that the thing that I fantasize about- a loving long term relationship, is not gonna happen with my favorite provider. Once in a blue moon you hear about a client/provider relationship turning into something more long term. But these usually develop if there is a great deal of money involved. And that's fine. A couple of times I have developed a bit of a friendship with a provider. And I am grateful for the friendship. But that's as far as it would ever go. Enjoy your provider as a friend if you wish. Anything more is exceedingly rare.

That’s a hazard of this so-called hobby. It’s happened to me 3 times. First one was a masseur. in my naive way, I was sure it was two-sided, but eventually when I pushed for more, the let-down was crushing. The next one was an escort. Movie star quality - Mr. Perfect. And he picked up on the vibes and took me on a long, fantasy ride for over a year. And like the first one, he had met “someone” new and it was over. Yeah, after I’d taken him to Hawaii for a week, and spent gawd-knows how much $$$ on his wardrobe, sports tickets and food. Number three was even more painful. Again, Mr. Adonis was nearly perfect and we went so far as to move in together. My job changed and he had some family obligations that mysteriously appeared at the same time. So I was headed to a new city, and he was going back “home” - it was a tough breakup; but then through the wonders of social media I discovered that he found another dude within days. Moral of these stories? Escorts and masseurs are entrepreneurs- and they for the most part are wonderful people. But they are almost always not seeking a love interest in their client base.

I still see an escort semi-regularly that is no longer advertising and not seeing very many clients. But because we developed a good friendship and have excellent chemistry we still hang out. Unfortunately, he actually has a live-in partner so I know that it's not going to be anything more. But I wouldn't say that just because he is taking a break means that he won't stop seeing you.
 
Not sure if that actually helps with your feeling or not though.

Cut bait and run.
 
This hobby can be fun, but like all fun things there is a dark side.
Keeping a healthy perspective can be difficult and kudos to you
for realizing that you may be in over your head. If he’s a true professional
he’ll understand and help you depart gracefully with your dignity intact.
 
Although I have occasionally developed strong feelings, I’ve never fallen
in love with an escort. If I ever did realize I was starting to develop deeper
feelings I would disclose that to the escort and then stop seeing them.
 
Its hard to do, but like ripping off a bandaid, it’s less painful in the long run.

You stole my thread (I was planning to post this). I'm in exactly the same situation. And I desperately need HELP.
The worst is that he's telling me now that he's planning to take a break from working. I just hope is not a break from me

Has this happen to any one? I’ve been seeing this guy regularly, and I just can’t get enough, I know I’m nothing like what he probably likes but I can’t help my self... thinking to ask him on a date but afraid he will say no, so I’ll just keep hiring him I guess ?

We’ve all been there, so you’re not the Lone Ranger - we’ve all mislabeled “paid companionship” for “love.” But, it sounds like you’ve become addicted to him and it won’t be easy to break the addiction - the “pleasure pathways” in your brain’s reward center (including an actual dopamine rush) won’t let you let him go easily. Your brain will demand that you keep getting your daily “fix” of him and your brain will lie to you, telling you that he really misses you and has feelings for you (although your prefrontal cortex will rationally tell you, unsuccessfully, that what he actually misses is your wallet). Withdrawal will be physically and emotionally rough, but it has to be done - the day will come when he moves on to someone else, with or without your permission - I suspect he has others who “take care of him” - they always do. I would suggest that you invest in therapy to learn behavioral ways to break the addiction (distance, change of self-talk, distraction, and most importantly, a support group). It will take a while, but you’ve already taken the first step: recognition that this relationship is not a healthy one. Good luck - it’ll get better.

Hey man honestly I would move on from hiring him.. it sounds like he is taking major advantage of you and is not willing to do what he’s being paid for.. as a provider I can also tell you his feelings are fabricated… I personally am uncomfortable with faking the lovey dovey stuff.. i did it with a regular for a bit because that’s what he was paying me for… but he kept telling me he was falling in love with me and I would not say it back. So it created this awkward  vibe. The second you stop paying him his “feelings” vanish. I think it’s damaging to your mental health and happiness to continue seeing him. Now I tell clients first off that I don’t love them but we can be friends and have a good time. Because I tend to enjoy my clients for more than just the sex most are really cool guys that I actually learn quite a bit from. But I’ve had clients text me full screenshots of my rm profile and tell me when they saw me the fell in love.. that’s not love and is a big red flag for me as they tend to get obsessive and that can be dangerous so I avoid it.. I think you should see someone new and just focus on having fun!

Hey thanks. Yes I have some ED but not if hes INVOLVED !! He never is involved. I have to have some stimulation, touching, just freakin hold me...dont treat me like its a FAULT.    I dont have the problem IF I feel appreciated or that he thinks I am a special person for all the things...and the support Ive provided. Im asking too much....finally seeing it...took me thousands...Finally hit me when he dashed out of the shower we were in after I began washing him and holding him....NEVER ANY EXPLANATION !!! I couldnt believe it

Yes I do...Ive especially noticed in the recent past hed say..."now I need you to to get hard for me when I see you...you shouldnt need any shower of stimulation. Just thought Id tell the rest of my sordid details

You already know the answer to your question. That said, as a paying client, don’t you see how many things are wrong with this statement?
 

I am in my 60s. I know. I should stick my head in a bucket of water ! and drown
I feel like he needs me. BUT the most recent 3 days...I paid 1500 per night and he freeked out  on me the first night when he would not touch me or initiate affection cuz I wasnt hard IMMEDIATELY....then then next 2 there was NO sexual interaction. He just smoked. You know as I am telling this...I feel like an idiot. 
When someone says he loves me....O well....I feel like a high school kid telling this. 
 

There are things you are alluding to but not saying much about this guy. For instance he got hurt in a scuffle a few weeks ago. Also he has sobriety issues. He’s 27 and you are older but how much older. 
Also the negative reactions he has when you try to initiate intimacy. And yet this is an escort client relationship.
I think you are deluding yourself about how this relationship can be healthy for you. There are too many red flags imo.

I appreciate Mr Cow! Its rough...Ihate that I was sooooooo gullible. You know it hurts. Thanks guys

Ive been so very kind and supportive as hes gone through his sobriety efforts. Im planning to go see him in 2 weeks. I want a reply and to see whats happening for good
although I feel you guys are saying..."quit being a sap!!

Unfortunately, as much as your feelings are real, they are based on a lie.  He is an escort having sex for money and you are a client looking for acceptance and intimacy.  A great escort can fake intimacy for a long time, years, even a decade or more, but, a closer examination reveals that this kind of relationship is very one sided.  The money flows one way and most of the affection and attention flow the other way.  Escorts, for the most part, reveal just enough of themselves to make the experience you have with them have a basis in reality.  Ultimately, there is a lot you do not know, will never know and that, I am afraid, is the nature of these interactions.  There are exceptions.  Many of us, including myself, have thought that this is one of the real ones.  Ultimately, it is usually self delusion and the wishing for it to be so. 
As hard as it is, move on.  You are paying for a service and you are getting tsuris.   Translated from the Yiddish  Aggravation, Heatache.  

Yeah....Just as a last gasp...recently he said
I love you I care about you and I’m so sorry for every argument we’ve ever had you know deep down. I love you and I care about you so much and I know you care about me more than probably anybody.'
I mean....I know Im "needy" but I didnt make that up...
Would a real serious chat be worth it??
Thanks guys

Sorry man, but you know the answer here. Time to move on.

Ive known this escort 5 years total. Weve been real good friends for 2 years. See each other once a month. Ive really developed a real caring about him. He got injured in a scuffle and I flew out to his city to be there for him. My problem is this------at times Id say "Bless you for being you and for our lasting friendship.",,,we have exchanged the "love " word often. BUT i am older and sometimes when I initiate the sex, it upsets him that I just am not totally "ready"---sprung.....He interprets that to mean Im not physically attracted to him......NOT true but I need a little touching, feeling, deep kissing. you know...stumulation, but he doesnt like to do that I guess. If he'd just PARTICIPATE, Im fine. He'll "forever and always." to statements Id make. He says I love you...Ive been there for him in issues of substances. Ive given him lots of things, gifts etc cuz I love the guy...Id really try to make it lasting.. BUT always pay everything. I know Im a client but my birthday was last week...He called sure but not even a card! He has said...you are the best ting I have in my life,,,,Of course I melt...Our deep friendship is that type I could follow as a real love. Once again Im older...hes 27. BUT when we are together doing something, its like we can read each others mind. There are a few times when id iniatiate sex and hed get so upset that hed run out of the shower or off the couch cuz he thought I was making him uncomfortable. he wont say why. Im a lost puppy. I pay the fee regardless. but  he would never come back around and be tender, caressing...treat me like a special guy

I have never fallen in love with an escort. I do have a mild infatuation with one right now who is just a god and who is very nice to be around, but the last man I went crazy for is my husband and that was more than thirty years ago.