Jacob_b

Yeah....Just as a last gasp...recently he said
I love you I care about you and I’m so sorry for every argument we’ve ever had you know deep down. I love you and I care about you so much and I know you care about me more than probably anybody.'
I mean....I know Im "needy" but I didnt make that up...
Would a real serious chat be worth it??
Thanks guys

Sorry man, but you know the answer here. Time to move on.

Ive known this escort 5 years total. Weve been real good friends for 2 years. See each other once a month. Ive really developed a real caring about him. He got injured in a scuffle and I flew out to his city to be there for him. My problem is this------at times Id say "Bless you for being you and for our lasting friendship.",,,we have exchanged the "love " word often. BUT i am older and sometimes when I initiate the sex, it upsets him that I just am not totally "ready"---sprung.....He interprets that to mean Im not physically attracted to him......NOT true but I need a little touching, feeling, deep kissing. you know...stumulation, but he doesnt like to do that I guess. If he'd just PARTICIPATE, Im fine. He'll "forever and always." to statements Id make. He says I love you...Ive been there for him in issues of substances. Ive given him lots of things, gifts etc cuz I love the guy...Id really try to make it lasting.. BUT always pay everything. I know Im a client but my birthday was last week...He called sure but not even a card! He has said...you are the best ting I have in my life,,,,Of course I melt...Our deep friendship is that type I could follow as a real love. Once again Im older...hes 27. BUT when we are together doing something, its like we can read each others mind. There are a few times when id iniatiate sex and hed get so upset that hed run out of the shower or off the couch cuz he thought I was making him uncomfortable. he wont say why. Im a lost puppy. I pay the fee regardless. but  he would never come back around and be tender, caressing...treat me like a special guy

I have never fallen in love with an escort. I do have a mild infatuation with one right now who is just a god and who is very nice to be around, but the last man I went crazy for is my husband and that was more than thirty years ago.

Don't attach too much significance to what people say in the heat of passion.  In this situation, "I love you," really meant , "God you're a great lay."

If by "falling in love" you mean can you develop feelings towards an escort in which neurotransmitters in the brain like dopamine, serotonin, & oxytocin are released that reinforce feelings of pleasure, reward, and bonding -  yes, you can fall in love with just about anything or anyone, including people, drugs, etc.  But obsessing over another human being who only sees you as a walking ATM is an exercise in frustration, as you've correctly observed. But, to answer your question: yes, I have fallen in love with an escort - and it was painful, frustrating, EXPENSIVE - AND enjoyable all at the same time. Enjoy your guy, but occasionally remind yourself that "infatuation is hopeless" and that some day this relationship will end, and not kindly. 

One year..(many years ago) I was fucking this sexy kid with an amazing ass at a bathhouse. Really tearing it up/tossing him around....mid stroke - legs in the air he looks up at me and says "I luv u". 
Lost my hard-on immediately . 
 I felt bad for how sad and pathetic that was for him and the moment was gone. (Pity though) I really could have gone for another round or two with that 🍑 ass. But his miscalculated expression of affection ruined the mood. 
I was only there to fuck him...(and as many other hotties that I could find) that night. 

I finish my massages with a hug and it is the one thing he needs to keep going. When his marriage turns sour, when a parent passes, and when he loses his job or his children lash out, he comes. He comes other times as well, but always when he's at his lowest. I give him a hug and sometimes he cries, sometimes uncontrollably. He says that he tries so hard and I say nothing back. I hold onto him as long as he needs someone to hold on to and when the tears have stopped, I let him go. I wipe him down with warm towels, he thanks me and he goes his way. 
The first time he said "I love you" I said "you're welcome". He wanted to express his thanks using stronger words and I gave my response to his gratitude. 
He says I love you every time afterwards and he's been saying it for for years. Recently he moved to a different coast. He has a fulfilling new position and a new house in suburbs of an exciting new city. He also has a great relationship with his children.
Whenever he visits, he comes and he's full of smiles but even still he sometimes cries, and sometimes uncontrollably. And he says I love you.
It's still just a thank you 
(Yes, this is a true story)

No, let it go. I came this close to going back as well and then I remembered the pain and said hell NO!

I’m finally over with my crush. I haven’t seen him for a year. I don’t miss him anymore.
i see 3 guys regularly but no deep feelings like that previous one. 
 
should I see him again since the crush is over? Or will i risk re opening the feelings? The s*x is really good with him though.
 
my brain tells me NO. i want to have a risky fun, but i don’t wanna experience that heartbreak period again.

Believe me I understand. I fell HARD for a provider and boy could I tell you some stories! Lol. I made a fool out of myself. I still have fond feelings for him but he's long gone now.

After I have sex with anybody, whether for free or paid, I have to remind them "If I said 'I love you' or asked you to marry me, remember that it doesn't count if I said it while your dick was in my ass."

Out of the many I have hired, I have about ten escorts that I hired for a prolonged period of time.  I was, essentially,  a serial monogamous escort hirer. who occasionally strayed to others for variety.    I am still in contact with all ten of these men to a greater or lesser extent.  I consider then acquaintance at one end and friends at the other.  It is as though I dated them and it did not work out but we remained friends.  In fact, one of them just spent a week at my home on a trip from one coast to the other.  
That being said, I have never had sex with these men off the clock and once :I stopped hiring them, when we are together, there is not an attempt to get together sexually.  
So, even though at the time I was seeing them, I may have fantasized about being in love, these relationships evolved, as most sexual relationships do into less desire and more routine.  None of them evolved into love.  And though most of them remain in great shape and very sexy, I have never considered returning to our previous arrangement.   One of them did stay at my home for a few days and made a point of walking around naked and at least a bit aroused, but while he looked great I had no desire to pay for sex with him and did not try to get there for free.  

If you fall for them then they are good at their job. Don't confuse your feelings with theirs. I am very aware that absent payment, none of who I've hired would ever look my way or talk to me. Im glad I've been fortunate to enjoy what I have. If you can't get the person of your dreams the next best thing would be to pay for one? 

I have had to cut clients off because they became infatuated and could not distinguish reality from fiction- despite me being very clear: I am not opposed to dating a client but I would need to be provided for in that I wouldn't have to work. 

Run, Rudy, run.

I just wrapped up a  weird situation with an escort.  This guy approached me on A4A - a very attractive guy, 28 yo.  Initially, he didn't identify himself as a pro, but when I expressed interest, he revealed that he was a pro.   I didn't like the deception, but,  I thought, "I don't like it, but I can live with it."  We started interacting by text to get better acquainted, and to talk about cost.  But his initial pretense remained an issue for me, even though I didn't say anything.  And then he kept doing little deceptive things, that I didn't like.  Another thing that I didn't like is that he wanted full payment up front, no cash.  But paying him turned out to be this huge chore because the payment apps kept refusing the transaction.  Every time one of these things happened, I would think, "This just doesn't smell right," and I would bail.  But he would plead with me not to bail, and I would change my mind, because he was "just my type." Finally, he told me he would take payment in gift cards, which solved the problem of paying him and we, finally, made an appointment. But my instinct was telling me that this guy was bad news, and I needed to walk away and I decided, "OK, I'm walking and I won't change my mind." I texted him to say that I was done, and of course, he tried to talk me out of it. I told him "I'm a bad client for you. You don't want a client that is as suspicious of you as I am."  That did the trick.  But I'm not sure that I have seen the last of him.  You couldn't really say that he was an escort more like a con.  It's a jungle out there.
 

Caveat emptor! 

Late to this party, but definitely got a strong attachment to my escort. I think having him for the weekend and sleeping in the same bed makes it stronger as well. This is the danger of a BFE. He's paid to act as if he loves you. And if he does it well, why wouldn't you love him back? He's sexy, there to please you, and gives you full attention. So if you have some good conversations,  it's easy to convince yourself there is more there.
But I'm not stupid. I've paid for this performance. And I'm glad he's on the other side of the country or I could see myself spending way too much money on this fantasy.
What concerns me though is that he's much younger, and in addition to wanting him in my life romantically,  I feel protective and paternal toward him, which feels creepy to me.

I fell in love with an escort. We've been together for 18 months.. He stopped escorting. I'm helpng him go back to school. Luckily, I can afford it. I don't doubt that part of his attraction to me is that I have money, but I really believe we have a great sexual chemistry and a real emotional depth in our connection.  He's one of the kindest people I've ever met, and I feel like we take care of each other in beautiful ways. 

When I talk about the respect and mindfulness of the other people or person that you were with, in my own situation, I find that’s especially important because I have on many occasions also provided myself as a medical advocate where we’re not just together sexually or other levels but also sometimes with chronic or critical healthcare concerns and even end of life situations. We are human beings we are dynamic and nuanced…. Hiring or being hired as rarely simply about sex.

You know… This is an interesting social connection when you are hiring or being hired because you are literally engaged with another person or a person on such an intimate level… It’s not just physical you’re dealing with somebody is emotions and psychology and maybe medical issues and maybe family issues and maybe financial issues and maybe… So maybe And they’re not just single affairs, those things are all mixed together to vary in degrees. So when you are bonding with somebody and it’s a strong match, it only seems very natural all that the lines fade between what is a business arrangement and what is the human Quality shared between each other… It’s all kind of there in the same salad bowl 
 for my point of view, I think it is just really important to be aware of and be a good guardian of the other person, psychology and emotions as well as their physical well-being

I feel you there… I’ve typically not really played outside of work for that very reason. I feel like it’s a big confusion when there are people hiring you and then they see you out there playing with everybody. Sometimes. Clients want to see me playing with other people and that’s fine because it’s an agreed situation. Other times they are not comfortable with that at all whether it’s a client or somebody outside of a higher situation. Either way, it’s really important to be mindful of that other person and where they fall with regard to what is acceptable on what is not acceptable behavior, especially when it comes to your emotions and your psychology.  
 Sometimes people can feel threatened to even by caring about play time with other Clients. No judgment on that other than saying that it is something that does happen and again, it’s important to be sensitive and respectful, regardless of whether you think that’s right or wrong. It’s still important to be understanding of the situation and the persons involved~
 I am a ponder… So, I really love it when I develop an ongoing relationship with a Client~ i’ve been a provider for just about 30 years and have in the course of time developed deep and strong meaningful relationships with some of my clients and those relationships have lasted over 25 years. I have been partners with a few of them, and sometimes become family like friends with not only them, but also sometimes their husband. Of two that I have dated, one was somebody who hired me October 2004. We started dating and he died recently 31st of October 2025. It was difficult losing him. There was another client that was closely associated with and he passed away ninth of March 2025. I had known him since 2007. You get to know people during that length of time… For my partner who passed away 31st of October of this past year, it was actually a growing point for both of us because I was becoming more active in my career as a provider and traveling and working extensively and that was difficult for him. I really had to prioritize work given this is a full-time career choice for me. We had to reset our respects and boundaries because he would’ve preferred more physical, personal time with me, but, it’s almost like I had to schedule him in and that was difficult for both of us. In the end, what worked out was he hired other lads and some of them he fell in love with, and I was really happy that they were there to fulfill his physical, emotional and psychological needs, but, when the two of us were together, we were absolutely partners in love. The love Poole is very different than the sex pool. They can intermingle, the needs can be very different and for the two of us love was a prevailing factor. I’m not gonna say that it was easier for me to watch him. Be in love with other people, but also the bonding had with them was more physical and psychological. The two of us shared something that was those things, but also something within the heart and soul

I think the same things about some good providers.
However, I view the 24/7 availability as a possible houseboy arrangement, not a relationship with emotional investment.

yeah after a year+ of not seeing my previous crush, I got my sanity back. 
 
i just wanted to have fun, but missing someone after leaving their place was depressing. I love crying watching movies, but I hate crying missing someone in real life.
 
sometimes i wish my heart would never love any man. I can dedicate this life to physical pleasure and it would be so fun!!! Desire for love is the cause of all my depression.