maninsoma

2 hours ago, Thelatin said:

I've double dated with some long term providers and friends.  Other friends I avoid as they interrogate anyone new.  It's one thing to ask a few questions, some folks feel the need to know everything about people.  I've actually unfriended some folks over them being too damn snoopy.  It's like they have to figure out where the other person fits in the pecking order.

I still remember a new coworker (who didn't last long, but I don't know why she left) several years ago who asked a lot of what I considered to be too personal of questions on the first day she met me:  What's my religious background? Am I single?  Why haven't I found a boyfriend?  Etc.  I learned relatively early in my adulthood to recognize people with poor boundaries and I keep them at bay.

After reading some of the replies, I went back to reread the original post.  I think my issue is that the prospective client wanted an escort to pretend to be a boyfriend in a committed relationship with him.  That's quite different than going to a gathering with a client and being introduced simply as a date, which could mean that the two only recently met.  For those escorts who replied that they would do this, are you saying you would actually go along with the fantasy to the extent of talking about a fake life together with your client's friends/associates?  I still think that sounds incredible awkward, to say the least.

I don't see how what the client suggested would even work unless the two of you already knew each other somewhat from repeated appointments.  How can one pretend to be someone's boyfriend without knowing anything about him?

I fully support your decision solely based on not wanting to attempt to deceive others.

3 hours ago, DGHou said:

Sage advice indeed.  Although if he told me while he enjoyed time with me, but if it weren't for the money he wouldn't be there I honestly would have appreciated it more.  I think he probably knew my feelings a few years ago.

Because he would sometimes go into depression or battle some other mental health issues that sometimes plague me.  He would text or call me, come over and bare his soul to me because I understand where he is coming from when those episodes hit.

Your comments shared another light on things.  He overstayed a student visa years ago and has been living under the radar. The guys he is with now hired him a few years ago and rekindled their interest  They have been together for 20 years, married for 10.  They meet under a provider/client arrangement.  One of them has offered to divorce and marry him so that he could remain in the country legally.  I am now wondering if that is his main motive, like the money was with me.  Or if perhaps the two of them have fallen for each other.  He does seem very happy, has put on a little weight which he needed to do, and told me he is "just having fun".  

I guess time will tell.  Thank you so much for the responses.

After reading your various recent comments, I want to suggest that you try not to view this guy as a black-and-white situation.  By that I mean his lack of response as to whether you'd see each other again was perhaps just an honest lack of having an answer, not an unspoken communication.  His not continuing to see you at the moment doesn't necessary mean anything about all of the time you spent with each other in the past; it's just in the present he has other priorities.  Yes, that does mean that you aren't his #1 priority but it doesn't sound like you ever let yourself get so far down the path of believing something that wasn't true that you are surprised that you aren't his first priority. Maybe he was just a good actor and his time spent with you was all about the money, but that doesn't sound true to me based on everything you wrote.  Sometimes relationships/friendships come to a close, but that doesn't mean that everything that came before was a lie.

There is no set definition.  Here's the most recent discussion here regarding what BFE means to different people:

Maybe a moderator can move this to "Questions About Hiring" or merge it with the other thread since this isn't asking about a specific escort?

I also think he's very attractive, but I can only spend so much time watching a hot, naked man who's just a tease.  Good on the guys who can make a living doing this (as long as the subscribers realize that's all they are going to get), but it isn't for me.   I'd rather watch BritishTwunk (a similar sort of guy in terms of looks) who actually enjoys getting fucked on camera.

The site is definitely not ready for prime time.  Two major issues I found within the first two minutes:

1.  If I search my area and then filter by massage type, only a small number of listings shows.  The list does not expand as I scroll down, even though there are more ads in my area that feature the type of massage I selected.  Nor is there any navigation button or arrow to load more ads.  If I remove the filter, the full list returns and I can continue scrolling down until I see every ad in my area.

2. Filtering my distance is a mess.  I got a few listings in my city (not sorted in the correct order of distance because I've hired some of these guys and I know where they are), and then my list is is a hodge-podge of men as far away as Sacramento (I am in San Francisco).  I didn't select "available now" or anything else, so I don't know why it's showing me so few men who are actually near me and then showing men in Oakland, Hayward and Sacramento.   Filtering by distance also does not work on rentmasseur.com when I'm not logged in, but it works properly when I am logged in.

Here's an analogy (and I'm sure there are others):

Does a psychotherapist only pretend to be interested in and care about his patients, just because that interest and caring has limits and occurs within a business transaction?  I don't think so.  Does that genuine caring and interest mean that the therapist would relax professional boundaries and start spending time with the client outside of paid sessions?  No.  I don't think that negates what happens during that patient's "hour," though.  Just as with escorts, though, I think it's important that clients acknowledge the limitations of the relationships.  With an escort, it's a "boyfriend experience while you are together" not a "boyfriend."

Psychotherapists have legal and ethical standards to follow, so they risk disciplinary action if they befriend a client outside of their professional relationship.  Escorts have no such external guidelines, so the way to know that you have developed an actual relationship (whether that be romantic/sexual or platonic/friendly) is that the two of you spend time together without any compensation exchanging hands.  If that hasn't happened, then it is truly nothing more than a business relationship even if there are fond feelings during the appointments. 

I know we've discussed age shaving a lot on this forum, but my rule is basically this:  5 years or so is acceptable for someone who can pull that off.  Much more than that and it begins to get into fraud territory.  A lot more than that and it's just downright silly.  There is an escort near me who hasn't changed his age in over two decades.  I don't care what kind of shape you're in or how youthful your face looks -- a man in his 60s is not going to pass for a man who is 39 years old except in his own deluded mind.

My answer is "it depends."

If the "white lie" was provided in order to cover up the fact that the guy just isn't attentive to time, I could overlook it as long as the delay wasn't too large.  In fact, hiring escorts was one of the things that caused me to become more relaxed in terms of arrival times since I had to admit that someone arriving right on time wasn't nearly as important to me as someone providing an excellent experience.  If the "white lie" is given to hide significant issues that would cause me to not want to spend time with the guy, then it matters. 

3 hours ago, pubic_assistance said:

I have the opposite opinion.

I live in NYC / eat at very good restaurants all the time + I know how to cook...so to me..Cheesecake Factory is one of the few chains that I will actually seek out when traveling in Middle America. There are several delicious items on their menu. And considering the size of the servings I've never felt it was overpriced. (But then I'm spending NYC money which is like a different economy from the rest of the US.)

Not much of a fan of any kind of Cheesecake but I've never had a bad meal there.

Well, I had a basic breakfast dish (maybe it was eggs, toast, breakfast meat or maybe it was an omelet -- I don't really recall) and I didn't think it was any better than Denny's.  I just compared prices online and, for that kind of meal, the cost seems pretty similar so either Denny's raised their prices more or I was just under a mistaken notion regarding the relative costs.  I almost never eat at chain restaurants unless it's a local chain with just a few locations.

10 hours ago, BSR said:

I did read it.  Either I had a senior moment (eek! hope not), or my brain short-circuited trying to process the information.  In Honolulu where there must be a zillion different spots for fresh-caught seafood, people are lining up to go to always-frozen-never-fresh Red Lobster??  Baffling, to say the least.

The most popular restaurant, from what I could tell, was Cheesecake Factory.  At dinner time the dining area was always full and there were scores of people waiting outside for tables. I have only eaten at a Cheesecake Factory once and thought they food was overpriced and mediocre.  It boggles my mind that people would travel thousands of miles and then eat in a restaurant they could probably go to at home, but then I remind myself that a lot of USA citizens would rather go to a chain restaurant due to its predictability versus taking a chance on an unfamiliar place.

11 hours ago, MikeBiDude said:

Another take on the closings. Some of the employee stories may be sour grapes, but their take on the all you can eat is interesting.

Fired Red Lobster Employees Have Quite the Tales About the “Endless Shrimp” Debacle

SLATE.COM

---

Tales from the seafood promotion from hell.

 

Wow.  Red Lobster management was even more stupid than I realized.  No time limit for an all-you-can-eat deal?  That might work if the price was a lot higher, but given that the deal was apparently close to 60% of other entrees it's no wonder that their dining rooms were filled with people who ate more shrimp than $20 could buy.

I happened to return last weekend to the Indian buffet I previously mentioned.  There is no time limit but most of the food on offer isn't what most people would pig out on, given it's so rich and spicy.  They also charge $45 per person.  I was a bit surprised at how many mimosas I drank (they were refilling my glass without me even asking for more, so I assume they must be using extremely cheap sparkling wine.

45 minutes ago, Vegas_Millennial said:

It must have something to do with the beach ⛱️.  When I was in Honolulu last week, I was craving lobster at a nearby lobster fast food place (even though good lobster is from cold water, and Hawaii is surrounded by warm water).  But there are few seafood restaurants in the island.  By comparison, steak is everywhere.  Every mom and pop shop serves steak and rice in Styrofoam containers.  Maybe this is why Outback Steakhouse failed there.

We must live in alternate realities.  I was in Honolulu a few months ago and seafood is everywhere.  You can even buy poke (cut up raw fish in a sauce) at mom-and-pop versions of 7-11.  Yes, Hawaiian food is also big on meat (particularly grilled meats) but I wasn't aware of steak and rice being served everywhere.  Maybe we were just paying attention to different places.

I couldn't quickly find more recent numbers, but in 2021 apparently the average income in the top 5-10% bracket was about $167,000.  One does not need an annual income of $167,000 to afford McDonald's or even a casual chain restaurant like Red Lobster.

10 hours ago, Vegas_Millennial said:

I'll answer:  worse off than I was in January 2020.  After my mortgage, utilities, insurance, petroleum, and food, I have less to spend on recreation and investing than I did in January 2020.  Great question!  It really made it easy for me to put in perspective.

From 2003-2023, I ate two meals per day at restaurants, including a visit to Red Lobster about once each quarter.  Since 2023, I just don't have the money left in my paycheck to eat out, despite a promotion and pay raise last year.  I now eat a can of soup for dinner and a sandwich for lunch every day, because my "fixed" expenses just rose way too much to afford eating out as part of my daily routine.  My last visit to Red Lobster was in 2022.  I've had to cut back on hiring, now limited to only when I travel.

Just curious: Do you have an adjustable rate mortgage?  I'll agree that most things cost a lot more now (though my insurance hasn't spiked, either), but one of the many benefits of home ownership is having a fixed monthly payment for the life of the loan versus having one's rent go up every year.

19 minutes ago, Monarchy79 said:

What makes you think that the guys in the pictures are the guys who actually scammed you? You do understand that it’s quite easy to copy pictures of good looking guys off of the internet and post them to sites, right? 
 

That’s part of the scam. 

You beat me to it by 17 minutes as that's what I was going to post.  I think that posting photos of these alleged scammers doesn't make much sense because the photos are almost certainly not of the men doing the scamming.

I'd even go out on a limb and say that while posting the phone number might be helpful on a short-term basis, once the scammers know the number they are using has been identified as a scammer they'll just get a different number.

The main benefit of a thread like is to simply remind people who may not know or may have forgotten that there are scammers out there and that if you are inclined to send anyone a deposit, at the very least make sure you are sending it to someone whom you know has a positive reputation.  I personally wouldn't pay anyone a deposit unless it was someone I had already met and I was booking a longer than 1-evening engagement, but I can sort-of understand people being willing to pay someone a deposit if their location requires some significant amount of travel and they cannot find an escort willing to travel to them without receiving some sort of earnest money in advance.

1 hour ago, pubic_assistance said:

I did actually ponder why it looks like young guys don't wear socks with their shoes.

Didn't realize it was "a thing"...where they felt they would look out of touch by covering their ankle.

Reminds me of when women were considered very modern for exposing their knees

The claim is actually the reverse.  You should be seeing socks on young men because they supposedly wear crew socks, not shorter socks that might not be visible when shoes are worn.  But I assume this is another low-quality article online, like so much other stuff I see that's either completely manufactured reality or so far from the truth in the attention-grabbing-headline that it might as well be made up.

As rvwsnd wrote, it's nothing new.  Sometimes people will respond with, "can you give us more of an idea what you are looking for?" and sometimes there are crickets.  It does seem odd to ask for recommendations without offering any detail about what one likes.  It would be like asking a sommelier which wine is the best without giving some indication what you like first.

7 hours ago, DWnyc said:

While the word “aversion “ was used it should be emphasized that it is more than just avoiding those one does not prefer.

Sure people can have preferences wherever they come from.

But how do we treat those who approach us who we are not attracted to?

When someone lashes out taking the tone “how did you even think you could approach me, I’m  out of your league, you're so disgusting …” etc - that’s not just expressing a preference. That’s where the real problem lies, and it is way too common - against racial minorities, those above a certain age or BMI etc. 

 

 

 

I've had younger men roll their eyes at me or give me a hostile look for simply looking at them in a bar one too many times.  I completely accept that a 25 or 30 year old guy might not be interested in someone in his 60s since that's how I felt as well.  I do remember being friendly with men much older than me, though, in terms of having casual conversations so it always surprises me when someone is such a jerk about simply being admired a little.

15 hours ago, marylander1940 said:

with long pants nobody will notice what kind of socks you're wearing in the office. 

I wear both types of socks with shorts and long (normal) socks with pants. 

I find that when I sit down, the area around my ankles shows.  Not that that means people are looking, but that part of one's leg is visible unless one wears pants that are so long that they still cover the top of one's shoes while sitting.

This is a stupid thing to be concerned about.  Are there really that many people looking at the type of socks other people wear?  I can tell you that I don't even notice someone's shoes or socks unless there is something unusual that calls attention to them.

I used to wear ankle socks a lot about 20 years ago (when I was 40-ish), but I have almost exclusively worn ankle socks for the past decade.  This isn't due to chasing a trend but rather more to do with feeling okay about wearing the same socks when doing things other than exercising.  I do think it looks weird to wear ankle socks with long pants, particularly in an office environment.

I really doubt that most men over 40 are wearing ankle socks.  Haven't crew socks been more-or-less the norm for a long time?

1 minute ago, viewing ownly said:

Providers. Most of us on here are old, thus have no issues seeing men around our age. And yes, 70 is the new 50 just like 5 inches is the new 7. 🤣

I think your assumption "thus have no issues seeing men around our age" is wrong.  I think that a lot of men over 60 don't want to be sexual with men their own age, particularly if they are paying for it.  I am in my early 60s and even encountered this two decades ago, with a lot of men around my age looking for thirties or younger. 

This obviously isn't true for everyone, and maybe the split isn't even as high as 97/3, but preferring younger men is definitely a thing in the USA.  When I have traveled to Mexico, age discrimination doesn't seem nearly as prevalent.

2 hours ago, SouthOfTheBorder said:

this sounds accurate - plus, consumer tastes are changing.  due to Instagram & other social media platforms, RL type restaurants are no longer in fashion because they’re too mass market - the 40 & under crowd want an “experience” & something precious now ……that isn’t gonna happen at RL.  
Combine all that with foolish money-losing (desperate) promotions and the writing is on the wall.  you can’t make money when people are only coming to all you can eat whatever - probably very little high margin alcohol sold also bc the clientele just won’t pay.

I have a very good local Indian restaurant that does an all you can eat lunch buffet and their food is good quality, but they charge a lot more than $20 (if I recall, it's about $35).  The food is very rich, so I doubt that most people eat so much that the restaurant is losing money.  Their regular menu prices are on the high side and they do a good dinner business, so maybe their profits at that time of day help offset not making much off the buffet.  I don't know their financials, so I'm just speculating.  I just wanted to add to this conversation that I think it's possible to do an all you can eat menu, but not in the way Red Lobster implemented it.

I haven't been to a Red Lobster for 40 years, so I have no comment on their food quality.  I don't remember ever thinking it was very good, though.  Given how many large chain restaurants seem to have only gone downhill in terms of food quality over the past few decades, though, I wonder if it's even worse than I remember.

25 minutes ago, BenjaminNicholas said:

That you said webcam and not OnlyFans tells me that you might not understand where the market is at right now.

You do private videos for big(ish) bucks once you have a following.  That can also go for customers who buy used clothing.

Until then, it's the grind of building up a strong social media presence, fielding private messages and figuring out your niche in the industry.

Most OF creators don't make good money because they don't have the business sense, nor editing skills to keep new content coming on a near-daily basis.  Guys with their dick in their hand get bored quickly.  They can now find free, quality content almost anywhere.

Not saying you shouldn't try it, but go in with very low expectations.  The days of guys easily earning $100k a year from OF are long gone, as the platform is now saturated and the real earners are the guys who were with it from the beginning.

I agree 100% with the part of your post I bolded (not that I disagree with the rest).  As a consumer, I can tell you that 99% of the men to which I've subscribed only got one subscription period from me because (a) their frequency of posting was low and/or (b) the quality of their content was low.  In fact, I'd say that most of them shouldn't even be charging for what they are offering since a lot of them don't share much beyond brief clips leading to offers to purchase full scenes for an additional cost.  Why would I pay $10/month to see someone advertise?  At the very least, put some worthwhile content on the page in addition to the offers to pay for additional content.  And a lot of guys need to check out a quality content provider like Rhyheim Shabazz to see how content should be recorded and edited.  Putting up a phone on a tripod by your bed just doesn't cut it.

As to not showing a face, I agree with some others that that would cause some guys to lose interest.  I generally want to see someone's face.  One exception I have is a Japanese guy whose OF page is free, for whatever reason, and he posts a few full length videos of him massaging and fucking men every month.  He's got a very hot body and I imagine that I'd like his face if I saw it.  If he charged to subscribe to his page, I would have unsubscribed after the first month because of him not showing his face.