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90 mins is the “sweet spot” for me, whether for massage or for “play”. Two hours if there’s a hot tub involved.

I’m repeating myself, but I enjoyed the pleasure of Mike’s company in mid-November and was quite happy with the experience.

@Km411 When I saw your 1st post, saying that you would never be able to write about it (coming out), I felt so sad. Then I kept reading postings and scrolling through and there was @Km411 sharing his story! That made me so happy! Like the sun shining from behind a cloud. I’m grateful to EVERYONE who has added to this conversation. At 29 years of age (I am 61 now) I decided “F**k it!” and made the decision to stop changing my pronouns. I didn’t feel it necessary to make an announcement, I simply started using “he” and “him” and saying “my boyfriend”. And no one batted an eye. Probably because, behind my back, everyone was saying, “For God’s sake! Doesn’t Mike know he’s GAY?” 🤣 My parents dealt with - and accepted - “the issue” long before I did. To this day I have never said “I’m gay” to my parents. Why overstate the obvious? 🤣 Everyone’s path is different and although I was tortured and tormented in junior high and high school (and in Church youth groups no less) I really didn’t have it so bad. Of course, the alcohol helped but THAT is a subject for another thread. As an aside, a moment of revelation occurred when, at 50, I took my 23 year-old boyfriend to Palm Springs for the 1st time. We went to VillageFest where it was over-populated by same-sex couples holding hands. The BF grabbed my hand and, due to my age and experience, I reflexively pulled my hand away. He got very upset. “You CAN’T refuse to hold my hand. We’re safe here.” Amazing how times change. At 50 I still felt the need to be discreet and careful, but a 23 year-old had no such compunction. He wanted to hold hands with his boyfriend. (We are no longer together but I will ALWAYS remember that moment.) He had his own issues being gay in a family of Jehovah’s Witnesses, but it’s not my place to tell his story.

Slightly off-topic but still about women in space meant for gay men … before the pandemic my then-boyfriend and I were at Tool Shed in Palm Springs when a bachelorette party wandered in. There was an audible “~groan~” from the assembled men. The “bride” picked up on the immediate change in the vibe (they were now facing a hostile crowd), and said, loudly, “My Daddy’s an attorney and he said that we can be here!” Whereupon a man seated at the bar - for context, an African-American man - replied, loudly, at the “bride”, “YOU are a little white girl. Tell me where you CAN’T go!” After a moment of stunned silence, the “bride” and her party left. So glad I was there to witness that. I can’t and don’t speak for everyone but I just want a safe space - besides my living room - where I can socialize with other like-minded men and be my old, fat, gay self.

Dude … here’s what I’m thinking. Your feelings are your feelings. I think anyone would be annoyed. If I read correctly you said he was visiting his family which is not too far from your location. Family can add an extra layer of complexity. He’s going to be 30 mins late, which, due to your travel situation, would shave 30 mins off your scheduled session. Unfortunately, you didn’t leave a lot of room for error. In my 61 years it has been my experience that if you don’t leave room for error, that is a set up for disappointment. I’d say enjoy the shortened session, get what’s yours, wish him a happy new year, then head home. Yeah, the room cost extra so chalk it up to an expensive lesson learned. Trite but true - no good deed goes unpunished. I’ve had a similar situation - more than once. (I am a slow learner.) Shake it off and move on. And if I have misunderstood the scenario, please correct me. Good night.

https://rent.men/AlphaJohn#platinum Hello! Looking for intel and info for AlohaJohn in Los Angeles. He’s fairly recent to RM, well-reviewed, and looks promising, but I’m finding nothing here at CoM. I would love to hear from anyone with the “4-1-1” (as we used to say) on this man. Thank you!!

Oh, puh-leeze. “Highly religious”? That means nothing. For context, I am 61 years old. I’ve lost count of the number of men who put on a clean shirt and go pray to their God on Sunday morning, who later divest themselves of their tighty-whiteys and are crying, “Oh, God! OH, GOD!” in my bed Sunday afternoons and evenings. Continuing … my parents used to boast of my involvement with the youth ministry at their Church. Little did they know I was taking it up the ass from the youth minister in the boys bathroom at fellowship hall after Sunday services. I suppose one could say that I was “highly religious”, too. (Before anyone gets their Calvins in a wad, I was 17 and he was 19.) Dude still looks good (me less so), and his parents live in the same retirement community as my parents. So I see him and his wife from time to time. And sometimes I see him in the men’s room for old time’s sake. I’m not trying to divert or derail the subject (Ty Simpson). “Highly religious” Southern men are a whole helluva lotta fun when they crack that closet door open. Not to be tacky but I’ve taken enough Southern seed to know.

And you, my darling, are smart to do that. I used to be “that guy”, texting to see a provider after midnight whilst drunk. Unfortunately (or fortunately) for me I was usually told “no”. Except once. And in that instance I passed out before he got to my place. Needless to say he was not happy and he left voicemails to that effect in which he told me off in no uncertain terms, which, of course I didn’t hear until the harsh light of day. Not exactly pleasant to wake up to angry voicemails from a jilted provider while suffering a throbbing hangover. God knows I had it coming.

OMG! Are there FOUR of them? Or am I just loaded?

Giving a gift should not be awkward if the intention is to experience the joy of giving. I love giving gifts; I don’t know why - it just makes me happy. I have gifted my providers with jockstraps, AC and/or other designer underwear, gift cards (my California providers seem to love gift cards for In & Out), gas cards - all kinds of things. I try to listen to what they have to say and get ideas from our conversations. The guys have always been gracious in accepting and quick with their thanks. In that regard I suppose I’m lucky.

🎼 leave a tender moment alone … 🎼

I don’t find that unusual. I think it’s the provider’s way of keeping you engaged.

I will say as a client that it’s nice to see in the profile that a provider has 9-5 job (or something to that effect) and maybe a note or two as to when the provider is available. It sets reasonable expectations and (hopefully) prevents me from asking stupid questions.

While the head and face may be expertly barbered the bush remains thick and wild and that is HOT!!!

🎼 … gotta be going to that malt shop in the sky … 🎼

OMG! Those 70’s clones. When I turned 18 clones were still fashionable but I only got a small taste of the experience. I have photos somewhere of me with a mustache, trying my best to look like these guys. Forty some-odd years ago. {~sigh~}

To answer your question … no, you’re not weird.

https://rent.men/GingerViking I am happy to recommend Stijn (pronounced “Stein”), who is SFO based but who I saw in PV last fall. Dude is amazing! Sadly, though, his travel dates would suggest that he will not be in SFO when you are there. Still, I wanted to get his name out there. If you like men beefy and rugged and also romantic and uninhibited Stijn would be, I feel, an excellent choice.

I don’t know which I’d prefer more - sweet dude with a hairy ass or flannel sheets.

Now THAT is just precious!

As I am not a resident of Southern Cal I don’t have any restaurant suggestions beyond In & Out by LGB airport, for no other reason except for the hunky UPS men I see eating lunch there. Some of those shorts can barely contain the package(s), whether front or back. It gives “I’ll have a double/double” a whole new meaning. As for me, I like mine with “extra spread”. Happy Birthday, man. 🎂

I think I see a way that you can be made a member of the team, kid.

“Lived To Tell” by D. David Churchill who goes by “Dave Churchill”. A memoir by a gay man who “came of age” in Southern California in the late 70’s/early 80’s before the plague. Fascinating and entertaining. The main focus and meatiest part of the book concerns a 2-month road trip Dave took with 5 other gay men from Laguna Beach, CA all the way to Cocoa Beach, FL - and back. Six gay men - boys, really - in a 1969 Camaro convertible, each with about $250 in cash + OP shorts, Polo shirts and not one pair of underwear between them. They were young, beautiful and delightfully clueless. Upon returning to California they didn’t see each other again, and by the end of the 80’s five of the six would be gone. And Dave Churchill says as much as the book opens. There are some famous names sprinkled throughout, and as a gay man myself who came of age around the same time there is a certain romance in looking back at those days. No worries and no cares and having sex with no fear they used their youth and beauty as their currency, trading good looks and firm bodies for drinks, dinner, drugs, and, oftentimes, a roof over their heads. You’ll relish their freedom and regret what it cost them. The book appears self-published and as such it’s a bit rough, but I thought it was great. I’m currently on my 4th re-read.

Yes, thank you, I will take that “to go”.

PREACH!