Wings246

I seriously believe @Simon Suraci should consider becoming a standup comic.  I almost pee my pants from laughing too hard......   🤣

Wow. I have… no words.
Actually, just one: sorry.
Reading this felt like a horror movie. 
I’m the extreme opposite. I am legitimately OCD about hygiene. Think Jack Nicholson in As Good As It Gets. I’m so thoroughly scrubbed you wouldn’t find a fingerprint on me, including my own. Even my fingernails are manicured specifically so I don’t accidentally exfoliate someone’s anal canal while fingering them.

Basic human decency, like common sense, is no longer common in our world, unfortunately.

Basic human decency, like common sense, is no longer common in our world, unfortunately.

I seriously believe @Simon Suraci should consider becoming a standup comic.  I almost pee my pants from laughing too hard......   🤣

I seriously believe @Simon Suraci should consider becoming a standup comic.  I almost pee my pants from laughing too hard......   🤣

I think I’m going off the subject of cock position, so apologies and please remove this to a new thread if necessary but @Simon Suraciraises a good point: preparation for massage/escort services.
If you’re expecting sexual energy, and 100% of my clients are, then as well as positioning your cock appropriately please be prepared! Let me list a few of the things I’ve had to deal with: warning- it’s graphic but this is my life so you need to know. 
A guy with such awful haemorrhoids that it looked like a bunch of cherries was protruding from his ass. He’d even applied cream to them which made it look even worse. (Maybe it wasn’t haemorrhoid cream and he was trying to make them more appetising for me?) He did say ‘I may be a little sore down there so go careful’ which I interpreted as ‘use plenty of lube and try a finger first’ but when I saw the state of it I decided nothing was going to happen in that area. Nothing. Did he really expect me to …? 
A guy who was very corpulent with dried poo between the folds of his skin when I spread his cheeks to rim his hole. The actual hole looked clean. Simon’s discreet wiping is a thing I do, but tbh it’s not possible to discreetly rub away at dried poo. I love rimming but not so much doing a lot of preparation work. 
Cheese. That’s all I’ll say. I’m cut so it’s not something I deal with personally but I’m not dealing with it in my work OK? 
Post fuck or fingering rimming. Always happy to do that after I’ve been in first time. But what goes in has got to come out squeeky clean. With a recent client I pulled out and my cock was covered in poo, which spread over the towel underneath, and onto the client’s balls and legs. When it’s runny poo like that it’s not so easy to clean up…He was face down on the table, oblivious to the situation. I told him ‘I’m just going to the bathroom to freshen up’ …. ‘Sure Jamie’ he replied …and before I went I cleaned him all up down there. Which must have been obvious because it took a while, then I dealt with myself. When I returned he’s on all fours asking me to rim him. We were near the session end so I flipped him onto his back, lifted his legs, went in (to stay in) and finished him off with my hands whilst I pretended to finish inside him (honestly I really couldn’t). When I pulled out there was another mess. I threw away the towel. 
And people complain about the rate. 

 


 

Clients vary in terms of their preferences, but also in their bodies. I second pretty much all that @Jamie21 has to say, plus the following.
The majority I find like to position their manhood downward. I interpret this display behavior as an invitation to engage with their bits. It’s not always for that reason though. For some, it’s simply more comfortable. Perhaps they have a downward curving/pointing cock and positioning it in an upward direction would be cumbersome or even painful if they become erect. Erections are certainly a hazard in my sessions!
Same goes for arching / lifting their ass, spreading their legs to the edges and beyond the ends of the table. Although it’s way more obvious this way. On my table, no ass goes unattended to, so you need not worry or go out of your way to present it. Assuming you maintain good hygiene, of course. Without a basic level of respect, I will not be doing all the erotic ass play stuff. 
Please don’t be one of the men I have to discreetly wipe due to foul odors and residues. I swear some of my 70+ and 80+ clients are the worst offenders, but I believe they are simply clueless. Not from a lack of respect, but a lack of awareness. Still. Come on, guys. Can you believe a client the other day asked me to f*ck him after I did the whole wiping thing at the beginning of the session? And it wasn’t just a little bit. It was like he didn’t even do a first pass at the toilet. He could stripe a few meters of roadway with those skid marks. God, the shit we deal with. And you wonder why we charge so much for the work we do, all with a smile on our faces and compassion in our hearts. At least the good ones. We truly do the lord’s work.
I digress.
Some men have a smaller and/or a more retracted dick, especially the more corpulent guys, so it really doesn’t matter for them, as nothing is going to be presenting itself so obviously or bending very far in any direction. I had a guy recently that apparently had a full on erection, but I didn’t know so until I felt around and pulled it out away from his body. Like coaxing a turtle out of his shell. So cute.
Yeah. So various reasons for positioning one way or another. We’re all different. A good sensual / erotic masseur will figure out what you like and engage you erotically without all the fuss regarding how you position your body. It’s really not that complicated. Hire those experienced skilled guys, relax, and let the magic unfold.

Yep, men always playing a role that they think they need to play, through having learned it, feeling conditioned by society / religion / family to play it. Hiring can give them an opportunity to be their real selves for a while and maybe start to learn that skill to take outside of the session.
I think of it as ‘You want to be your real self? Whatever that is? Ok let’s take our clothes off because they are masking you. Let’s drop our guards by communicating without words because they are loaded with judgment and meaning. Let’s use a primal human need like sex (and touch, and intimacy) to let go of all the labels and roles and judgments. How does that feel? 
I’d say that’s what’s going on in 75% of my sessions. Clients come first for the massage, and the sex, but they come back for the opportunity to be intimate, vulnerable and to find themselves. Same with me, I started doing the work thinking it was about massage and sex. Now I see it as something else. 

Clearly. if we are talking about $300 as an "outrageous" fee for someone's time. My lawyer charges $500/hr. My Plumber charges $300/hr. Neither one of them ever brought me to orgasm.....😉

Did not go. Its rough. But I did the right thing. 

It is the show watched by more viewers worldwide than any other.  For that kind of response, I agree with you, it could have been in a more cinematic manner.  The pregnant girl was an obvious try for an emotional connection.  To be really compelling, the girl should have had to make a Sophie's choice:  either she lives or the baby lives.  She would have picked the baby is the obvious easy way out, but how horrifying if she chose herself, only to die of post partum complications.  The baby's revenge.  That would not be easy to watch, but it would be different than the others you mentioned.  

I’ve had plenty of things happen on Zoom—technical difficulties, awkward silences, existential dread—but anal orgasms? That’s a first. Bravo!

What this exchange reveals to me is a deeper hunger for connection that isn’t contingent on desirability—and for transactional spaces that still recognize human dignity.
And that’s a tough balance to strike.
But it’s not an unreasonable thing to want.
There’s a subtle but important difference between having the right to set boundaries and pretending those boundaries don’t have emotional consequences for others.
Yes, providers are absolutely entitled to set their terms. That includes asking for pictures, declining clients, or filtering based on whatever criteria they choose.
But for many clients, the appeal of transactional intimacy is its promise of neutrality—a space where judgment is suspended, where you don’t have to qualify beyond payment and consent. So when a provider sets criteria that echo the standards of dating apps or high school lunch tables, it can hit a nerve for many.
Not because the client feels entitled to your body.
But because the transaction was supposed to be a refuge from the brutal economy of desirability—and instead, it became a mirror of it.
Everyone has the right to protect their time and energy. That includes both clients and providers.
But kindness, clarity, and humility cost nothing—and they go a long way in a business built on something as personal as human connection.
We’re all more than what we look like. And we’re all just trying to feel worthy in a world that so often tells us we’re not.
So if you’re a client who doesn’t want to be judged by your appearance, and a provider asks for a photo—don’t send it. Just walk away. Find someone whose boundaries align with your own.
It’s that simple.
No shame. No harm. No drama.

I have to counter that a bit by saying that (at least in my experience, and I know I’m not alone) as a gay man, I missed out on many of the formative experiences of being a teenager.  I never dated, never got to fall in love, etc.  I’m in my 30s and have still not truly had these experiences.  So while @baseball6 is not a teenager in biological/chronological age, his life experience could very well be equivalent to that of a teenager learning to cope with his emotions.  Yes, he needs counseling, but his being a grown up man is irrelevant in this context.

I disagree.  I thought Bella Ramsey was the weak link through all of S1.  It was good as zombie shows go (and the HBO/Max production values are always a plus), but the father-daughter relationship was carried entirely by Pedro Pascal, who might as well have performed opposite a wood block.  And now to focus the story on Ellie and not pair Ramsey with an actor with Pascal's chops leaves the spaces between the zombie interactions nothing but filler.  The game may be interesting to watch, but this show isn't.  

I'd say this is a plausible generalization but a rather dangerous and limiting assumption.  I, for one, am not attracted to people of my own race and cultural background.  I even half-jokingly tell my friends that I "discriminate" against my own kind because I am bored by and tired of things & people that I am familiar and comfortable with day in and day out.  I want new flavors and territories to add excitement and different experiences to my stagnant life.
Being gay is already not "fitting in" in the grand scheme of things.  So why should we force something that doesn't fit to fit?  I know in the perfect world, we want everything to fit flawlessly.  Things are already too difficult as is.  If I can find someone who fits me, I can care less if he fits in with my family/friends.  You may be looking a little bit too far ahead.

Today was the first time I have ever been rejected by a provider in person due to my appearance (at least I assume that was the reason)… it was frankly quite humiliating and I would have rather been screened out in advance.

Everyone’s healthcare coverage & arrangements are different.  I can only speak about my experience.  I have HMO so the PCP and lab visits are integrated.  My PCP is allowed to place an unlimited amount of standard HIV, PrEP, and STI lab tests in advance.  That was exactly what he did for me.  He entered 9999 (the maximum number permitted) in the “quantity” boxes of all these lab tests.  Hence, they become perpetual standing orders on my medical record.  There is no need for me to contact my PCP.  I just go to the lab to get everything done in 1 visit (and as frequently as I wish).
Now, if your PCP and lab belong to separate healthcare entities, then I am not sure if your PCP can pre-order indefinite lab tests.  You may have to contact the PCP’s office ahead of time each and every time.  That really is a hassle.

Everyone’s healthcare coverage & arrangements are different.  I can only speak about my experience.  I have HMO so the PCP and lab visits are integrated.  My PCP is allowed to place an unlimited amount of standard HIV, PrEP, and STI lab tests in advance.  That was exactly what he did for me.  He entered 9999 (the maximum number permitted) in the “quantity” boxes of all these lab tests.  Hence, they become perpetual standing orders on my medical record.  There is no need for me to contact my PCP.  I just go to the lab to get everything done in 1 visit (and as frequently as I wish).
Now, if your PCP and lab belong to separate healthcare entities, then I am not sure if your PCP can pre-order indefinite lab tests.  You may have to contact the PCP’s office ahead of time each and every time.  That really is a hassle.

Disclaimer: I have zero romantic experience whatsoever and I'm very, very new to his "hobby" (as some of the members here call it).  I'm your direct opposite: short & very unattractive & much older than you.  So I don't even know if I'm qualified to respond.  But those 4 sentences you wrote struck me as I feel more or less the same way (when I'm in a paid situation).  A different version of myself -- that I don't know exists -- comes out.  "Soft, present, sensual, alive" are understatements.  I LOVED (not just liked) who I was in that moment.  It's both astonishing and scary to discover an alternative persona just as though I have dissociative identity disorder.
I can't help but wonder (for myself and for you, of course): is this the version that the world needs to see in order for meaningful, romantic, and intimate relationships to materialize?

I cannot agree more.  Too bad I don't live in his area......

I cannot agree more.  Too bad I don't live in his area......

I've been with my husband for over 23 years; married for over 10. We met in person; in a bar shortly after 9/11. He was in the towers on 9/11 and narrowly escaped. I lost a cousin who was a firefighter. As this was November 2001, his experience quickly came to the surface. How have we lasted for 23 years and going strong? Mostly, we accept each other - foibles and all. And we have been through a lot together (lost both of our mothers, I had a lot of losses in my family). We've gained and lost friends. Changed jobs. I'll be real with you and say that he is much easier to live with and more easygoing than I am. (I sometimes refer to him as my "long-suffering husband.) 
The most important thing I can tell you is that chemistry is vitally important. You will either have it with someone or you won't. We have great chemistry. We are yin and yang. He's the quiet to my loud; the soft to my hard; etc. While he's quieter and introverted, he's also very funny in one-on-one conversations. Our chemistry was obvious very early on. And chemistry isn't just sexual. You see friends with great chemistry. Michelle Visage has a career because of her chemistry with Rupaul. 
We were also monogamous for the first 17 years of our relationship. We ended up figuring out we loved "playing together" by accident on vacation in Spain. We hire primarily for convenience. We're busy. We have specific times in the week when having a lengthy session works well, especially now that we're middle-aged. 
I have a friend who is 32. He's good-looking, smart, well-read, has great hobbies, and is very active and outgoing. And he's in the same boat as you. My take is that you are not alone. Dating in NYC as a gay man in your 30s who wants an intimate romantic relationship is very hard now. The apps dehumanize people. I find millennials to be far less capable of vulnerability than Gen Xers. 
Back to chemistry. In a culture obsessed with appearance, it's hard to find chemistry. Chemistry is not based on looks; neither sexual chemistry nor friendship chemistry nor romantic chemistry. If you're screening out people who do not fit your desired physical appearance, you may be screening out many of the people you could have chemistry with. I would encourage you to accept dates or pursue them with guys who are not tall, handsome with huge dicks. Look for similar interests, look at guys who you think look like fun even if they're a 6. 
I'm nice looking but my husband - a former muscal theater actor - looks like a Disney prince. He's an 8.5-9. I'm probably a 6.5, but I'm funny, passionate, a friend told me I love people in a way that is almost violent. So give some 6s a try!
That's my two cents. 

Ashley Johnson.  She actually played Ellie's mother in the S1 finale.  For the video game, on top of voicing the characters, the actors/actresses actually acted out the scenes for motion capture production and then everything is transformed into the video game with CGI.  That's why S2 is hit by a barrage of criticisms.  Most die-hard fans of the game agree that the CGI + voice + green screen suit acting in the game is way better than the real-life, on-screen performance in the TV show.  What a disaster.  The saddest part is that these video game voice actors/actresses probably get paid 100 times less than the TV "stars."  How depressing is reality?