Wings246

I have found I've become far more selective over time as I've gotten older. I hire far less and figure if I can't have want I want at the moment, why bother. I was always a bit selective (picky my friends would say) with my tastes, but not as much as I've become. At my age I know what I like and want in life and what I don't want or like, so why experiment. But that's just me, I understand others have different tastes and views. Many senior men I know have become less selective willing to take or settle for whatever they can get. I understand that, but I don't feel that way.

Yes, I feel that quality is going in the opposite direction of quantity.  It takes more time to scroll/filter through the longer lists of RM profiles, but the end results are more or less the same as before.

Flipping the script on this topic. Here’s my worst provider experience with a client in 2025. He likes to use G in his sessions. He is the reason I will no longer tolerate client drug use.
I saw him for two hour sessions about half a dozen times over several months, once with my provider friend Newell (MuscleGingerXL). He was nice enough. Long sad story about how he got clean and used to work for Goodwill inspiring others to get sober. Now he’s a junkie again, spending every last dime on providers and drugs. He always paid, until he started asking me to wait while he “moved money around” before sending it. Never a good sign.
The next session he asked if he could pay later that day. Red flag city. I should have cut the cord. Eventually he paid me days later after a lot of follow up. He may be sketchy but he always follows through. Until he didn’t.
I agreed to one more session, but I was not going to leave until he paid me. This time he had a visitor over in his bathroom showering…for over an hour. While we were in session. I didn’t care that the visitor was in the next room, but then the client asks if he can have his friend join us. He wanted to watch us play. I agreed. It took a while for him to get the guy out of the bathroom. Weird. Red flag.
Then in walks a guy I can best describe as a scraggly 20 something meth head Jesus. The client watched us play as he requested. I was weirded out because I noticed at some point Jesus had open sores on his body, and not of the stigmata variety. WTF. Not cool.
The client suddenly leaves the room and doesn’t come back after a while. Concerned, I go look for him but he is nowhere to be seen in the house. I ask his roommate the client’s whereabouts to no avail. I go back to the client’s room and chat with Jesus for a while. Jesus goes looking for him, can’t find him either. Time is coming to an end and I have something booked after I have to travel for. So I’m not sure what to do. The client went MIA.
Then the client suddenly emerged, teary eyed. Apparently he was hiding in a shed in his back yard, sobbing, really upset by something I apparently did. WTF. I explained that I had to get going and that he needs to pay me. He ran off and hid in the shed again. WTF. So I decided to leave.
The client later goes on a tirade blaming me for all his emotional distress. I try to calm him down and come back the next day while he is not on drugs to talk. We go through everything and he comes to agree with me that it was on him for taking so much G, and that he shouldn’t have brought a vagrant in off the street and involved him in our session. It was disrespectful to the vagrant and to me to use each of us in that way. But he says that I was into the vagrant (I wasn’t, believe me) and that I ignored him (I didn’t, I kept checking in asking if he was enjoying himself), and that I took advantage of him. After all that he reluctantly agrees to pay me, saying he will send it later that day. I leave.
I wasn’t holding my breath. After a lot of long, histrionic, barely intelligible texts from the client in the following days, the client decided not to pay me after all, and turns downright nasty. I finally concluded that I have to block him, cut my losses, and move on. I know where he lives. I could make his life a living hell, but I don’t have time for games or petty bullshit. And that’s not the kind of person I am.
Fast forward to this month. A provider I know in Las Vegas reached out asking if I knew [client] and I warned the provider to not see the client, that he was mentally unstable and on drugs. The provider decided to see him anyway. Apparently the client has alienated everyone in San Diego, so he is asking for sessions with men hundreds of miles away now. My provider friend tells me the client goes around flashing his gun in his trashy circus circus hotel room and is taking more drugs. Seriously unsafe, and unhinged. Eventually the client pays *part* of what he owes the provider, but it was with money he asked to borrow from a friend.
So sad. No more seeing clients who use. It’s unsafe, unreliable, and unnecessary.
You guys may have flaky provider experiences at times, but man, some of us providers really go through the wringer with these sketchy clients. All the more reason so many of us are guarded, jaded, and unwilling to put up with clients displaying any hint of red flag behavior. We have to protect ourselves.

I will DM you 

I followed through with the appointment and am so glad I did. The time spent together was exactly what I wanted and needed. On the day of the appointment my mind was racing and I was ready to cancel until the provider texted me and stated he was looking forward to meeting me. That simple message eased my mind and set me in the mood to proceed. The session was better than anticipated and I am looking for another. I went with the attitude of what could the worse case scenario be? He welcomed me with a warm long hug and sensual kissing, I melted and we proceeded from there. I think expressing my wants/desires allowed him to react and meet my desires. All the comments here are absolutely correct, communication is key. I truly appreciate this forum to have open honest conversations. In addition, the provider followed up with a texts of appreciation and questioning how I was feeling. Sweet provider! 

To a certain extent, posting here, even though anonymously, is a twisted form of coming out.  At least that's how I feel about it.  I know it sounds silly -- and maybe even laughable to some -- but it is somewhat cathartic and comforting at the same time.  Interestingly, it is so much easier to tell strangers (e.g. my primary care doctor, all the providers I've met, and people here) than those you love/care the most.

Some people associate beard / facial hair with maturity.  For those who are seeking the daddy types, beard / facial hair will be a stimulus.

Some people associate beard / facial hair with maturity.  For those who are seeking the daddy types, beard / facial hair will be a stimulus.

Agreed!
In addition to that, i even like it on young guys, it gives them a certain added manliness and it gives them another thing on themselves to take care of and make stylistic choices with that help determine my attraction to them.
I just like the way facial hair adds shape and texture to a face. It's a positive and negative space thing for me. Like having a painting of a landscape and the sky is blue with no clouds. You add a couple clouds in to break up the monotony of all that blue and it's more pleasing to my eye. Facial hair does that to the male face for me.
I'm personally pretty picky with clean shaven/smooth faced guys 😆

Some people associate beard / facial hair with maturity.  For those who are seeking the daddy types, beard / facial hair will be a stimulus.

Some people associate beard / facial hair with maturity.  For those who are seeking the daddy types, beard / facial hair will be a stimulus.

I do see the frustrations when appearances deviate from what are advertised.  It can directly influence someone's desirability.  I do have a weird take on this though.  A few providers asked me what I preferred (e.g. clean shaven vs bearded, hair style, wardrobe).  To their surprises, my reply has been consistent: "I like you exactly the way you are.  There is no need for you to make any changes for me."  My rationale: the more real and authentic they are, the easier it is for me to fall under their illusions because their acting becomes more believable when they are true to themselves.  That, in turn, enhances my imagination/fantasy of a BFE.

For me, it all depends on if they look like their pictures. Face it, this is a very visual business. Between photoshop, age-shaving, size-exaggerating, and apparently height exaggeration,  there are many ways providers deceive us in order to get the booking.
If they end up not looking like their pictures, I don't think you owe them a dime. Pay for their time? Seriously?  They should pay for wasting yours. What if after the session you gave them money that didn't look like the currency you promised? Fair is fair.
If someone's look changes dramatically (many tattoos, significant weight gain or loss, shaved their head) it is their responsibility to update their pictures. An Italian restaurant won't change to a Mexican menu without changing the signage and website.
Providers want us to respect that this is a business for them, so we should respect that and expect that they behave like one as well. The difference is that in this business, the client has no recourse once he hands over the money.

To a certain extent, posting here, even though anonymously, is a twisted form of coming out.  At least that's how I feel about it.  I know it sounds silly -- and maybe even laughable to some -- but it is somewhat cathartic and comforting at the same time.  Interestingly, it is so much easier to tell strangers (e.g. my primary care doctor, all the providers I've met, and people here) than those you love/care the most.

Hey all. Just a (hopefully) quick update to "As the Provider Turns".  I was planning to meet up with him on Monday but this morning I found a text from him overnight saying it was bothering him so much that he was not able to sleep. We texted for a bit but it was clear that he was just never going to let it go. Claims it's not that he caught feelings.  To me, it appears he's taking my lack of paying him the same rate as the other guy as a testament to his worth or something. It was clear nothing I could do or say would move him off it so I just said this behavior is making impossible for me to feel comfortable with him again, so we're done. 
Thanks again to all for your feedback and advice. Clearly, the solution was to tell him to take a hike after offering to pay him more wasn't enough to get him to let it go.  

Losing a regular client over $40/hr. Maybe he should find another gig. 

Here’s how I do it and why. Others operate differently. Good for them. It’s all valid.
150/hr Massage
200/hr Companionship 
300/hr Sex
Massage is fairly straightforward. I have a routine and I customize for the client. I include some erotic extras, etc., but no cum. I am not expected to perform escort services. It’s contained. It requires less intellectual or emotional energy on average, and a lot more physical energy. The time flies by.
Companionship is the reverse. It requires more social, intellectual, and emotional energy, and less physical energy. Unless we’re doing something active which is less common. Sports, dancing, what have you. Being an introvert and an empath myself, companionship demands a lot of me - that I fulfill in spades - but it drains me much more than massage does. It has value, and for me, that value is higher than massage.
Side note: The client pays for all expenses because these are a way for him to facilitate me providing more value to him - not a direct compensation for my time. That steak isn’t paying my electric bill, as much as I appreciate the meal.
Sex/Escort sessions are arguably a lot more involved, emotionally, physically, sexually, and they exhaust me more. Then again, you are getting a fully engaged ‘me’ on all these dimensions, sharing all the most intimate parts of myself - not just a dissociative robot me. This offers value. I can do maybe 1-2 of these per day vs 3-6 massage sessions a day. That’s also a factor; not only how much time or energy it takes, but what it costs me, including opportunity costs, to fulfill.
How I arrive at my Companionship rate 
I discount longer escort sessions, for example 500/2hrs, 700/3hrs, with special rates for engagements lasting a half day or longer. The way I see it, the 300 covers the basic value of the appointment whether it lasts 5 mins or 55 mins. More often than not, I am not expecting to be physically engaged at a level 10 for the entire 120 mins of a two hour session. When the client wants me at a 10 for two hours (and he can handle it), I surely provide.
More often than not though, there’s talking, cuddling, listening, meeting at the bar first, undressing one another sensually, showering together, socializing, or what have you. These moments are a lot more like my “companionship” service in terms of cost to me energy-wise, expertise, and in terms of value to the client. So I charge essentially 200/hr for it to encourage clients to book longer escort sessions.
I’m already making more than my massage rate, so I want to maximize that time. The client receives the benefit of a more complete, personal, unrushed and engaging overall experience while compensating me at a rate I feel is fair to me and to the client.
Opportunity cost is a factor. For example, in Columbus, a client many of you here know hired me for an hour of escort time. He proposed taking me to dinner afterwards, off the clock. I told him I would be happy to do so if I had no conflict with other work, but that I needed to prioritize billable time. This trip was quite busy and I did have a client request a massage during that time after I finished with the escort session with him. Unfortunately for the client I had to decline the dinner. I actually would have personally enjoyed the dinner with him, but work took priority. Why give that one or two hours away when another client is more than happy to pay me for it? A lot of times, it’s not personal at all, just a business decision.
The same can be said of personal life commitments. Why give a client my time for free when that same time has more value to me doing something else I want or need to be doing when I’m not working? That doesn’t mean I don’t care about the client, can’t stand spending time with him, or any other reason, really. It just means I am making a decision that is best for my business and for my life.
From time to time, I might offer extra time off the clock for clients treating me well. I want to reward them. I want to reciprocate their kindness, loyalty, and generosity. But those relationships take time, and for a guy in this industry, it’s not always clear up front who those clients are until after they have hired you a few times.

Have my first BFE booked next week. It has consumed me with thoughts of whether I can perform, will he like me, is he even attracted to me. I am nervous about it and have considered cancelling and giving up my deposit. After reading comments throughout this site I have a lot of resolve and will continue with the meeting and am in a much better psychological space knowing I am hiring for an experience, out of reality, to satisfy my needs. My money for an experience, not a partner or emotional attachment.  

This seems like an eternal debate and there is no correct answer; I’m just trying to rationalize both perspectives.  I personally believe both sides are valid.
On one hand, it’s the principle of opportunity cost.  It’s your time that’s being compensated, regardless of your expected labor output.
On the other hand, the value/intensity/complexity of your labor output should be considered.  For instance, providers with dual roles of escorts and masseurs typically charge lower rates for massages than for bedroom activities.  Applying the same logic, wouldn’t companionship be less labor intensive than actual sexual activities and be priced at a reduced rate?
Now, I can see some may argue that being emotionally and intelligently engaged in a companionship arrangement may be more exhausting than a hit-and-run quickie.  Then, that will be another story……

To a certain extent, posting here, even though anonymously, is a twisted form of coming out.  At least that's how I feel about it.  I know it sounds silly -- and maybe even laughable to some -- but it is somewhat cathartic and comforting at the same time.  Interestingly, it is so much easier to tell strangers (e.g. my primary care doctor, all the providers I've met, and people here) than those you love/care the most.

To a certain extent, posting here, even though anonymously, is a twisted form of coming out.  At least that's how I feel about it.  I know it sounds silly -- and maybe even laughable to some -- but it is somewhat cathartic and comforting at the same time.  Interestingly, it is so much easier to tell strangers (e.g. my primary care doctor, all the providers I've met, and people here) than those you love/care the most.

Sometimes, I see them as magicians and myself as that audience member who volunteers to participate in their magic tricks on stage.  I know it’s all fake, but I’m still amazed and amused by their skillfully staged illusions.
Alternatively, they are award-winning method actors.  They become the characters they play and I am cast as the opposing lead.
I figure the key is to enjoy the magic shows and theatrical performances while they last and return to real life after the paid entertainment ends.

To a certain extent, posting here, even though anonymously, is a twisted form of coming out.  At least that's how I feel about it.  I know it sounds silly -- and maybe even laughable to some -- but it is somewhat cathartic and comforting at the same time.  Interestingly, it is so much easier to tell strangers (e.g. my primary care doctor, all the providers I've met, and people here) than those you love/care the most.

Sometimes, I see them as magicians and myself as that audience member who volunteers to participate in their magic tricks on stage.  I know it’s all fake, but I’m still amazed and amused by their skillfully staged illusions.
Alternatively, they are award-winning method actors.  They become the characters they play and I am cast as the opposing lead.
I figure the key is to enjoy the magic shows and theatrical performances while they last and return to real life after the paid entertainment ends.

You spelled cock wrong. 

To a certain extent, posting here, even though anonymously, is a twisted form of coming out.  At least that's how I feel about it.  I know it sounds silly -- and maybe even laughable to some -- but it is somewhat cathartic and comforting at the same time.  Interestingly, it is so much easier to tell strangers (e.g. my primary care doctor, all the providers I've met, and people here) than those you love/care the most.