sam.fitzpatrick

I enjoyed InnDulge this year and look forward to seeing folks there again in April.
 
I have also stayed as Escape and agree with Epigonos' recommendation.

Steve Grand, singer

http://68.media.tumblr.com/5491607eb7c425f3071e25a077857470/tumblr_nul1zlTEsM1sjczsko8_500.jpg
http://68.media.tumblr.com/3569aa6eca35faba830d4d90dfc2ecef/tumblr_mu6hw5rzuT1r2rc6no8_500.jpg

EWWWW!

@nate_sf and @ArVaGuy,
 
Thanks for coordinating the upcoming event. My trip is booked and I am looking forward to seeing everyone.

A Report on Week One of Home Alone--
 
I'm doing fine, adjusting, making discoveries of aspects of this I hadn't expected, to wit--
 
Plus- My grocery bill has plummeted.
Minus- It takes longer to shop since I keep having to go back to shelves and replacing packages that are too large for one person. (I did not intend the double entendre of "packages too large for one person," but I'll let it stand.) I can't believe how little milk has been used in a week!
 
Plus- There is less cooking to do, less laundry, less ironing.
Minus-- We used to take turns, so while there's less, I have to do it ALL!
 
Plus- I find everything where I left it.
Minus- That's fine when it's a book, not so much when it's dishes in the sink.
 
Plus- I can have whatever I want at meals, taking only my preferences in mind.
Minus- I eat it alone.
 
Plus- There is plenty of hot water, I can take a shower as long as I want.
Minus- I never realized it before, but the sound of the shower running was a constant in the morning. That's a time when the place has become too quiet.
 
Plus- I can stay out as long as I want, no one will worry or need me to be someplace at a certain time.
Minus- I'm sometimes at loose ends, with nothing much to do.
 
Plus- I get calls and texts at odd times from the boys, and skyped on the weekend with two (Plebe twin can't skype yet).
Minus- There's no minus in that.
 
Plus- I am working out a lot, alternating between gym and pool, to occupy my time. At this rate I'll be in great shape soon.
Minus- No real minus, except the boys often came to gym and pool with me, so it isn't really a distraction from the changes.
 
Plus- My elderly neighbors, who adore the boys, invited me to dinner and let me gas on about them.
Minus- I really should control the impulse to tell everyone what they're doing. But these two sweethearts, and their son who's moved in to care for them, didn't mind.
 
Plus- I'm exploring gay/bi friendly social and sport groups and am resolved to try them out.
Minus- No minus but I confess to being nervous. It feels the way I felt before I went to my high school freshman mixer-- will I dress right? Will I make a friend? Will it be obvious I am not used to this? Will any of the girls dance with me? (Okay, that was only at the freshman mixer, but you get the idea.)
 
So, all in all, I'm surviving and even finding the humor in my inexperience at being on my own. Onward.

Although I've never been married or in a long-term relationship, I never lived alone until I was 35. After college, I ate alone at home some as my schedule didn't always line up with whoever I was living with. But that wasn't a nightly event.
 
When eating alone at home, I pop a CD in when I start preparing dinner and through the meal. Music doesn't violate the "don't watch television" rule Mom drilled into us. I find the music very helpful.

Although I've never been married or in a long-term relationship, I never lived alone until I was 35. After college, I ate alone at home some as my schedule didn't always line up with whoever I was living with. But that wasn't a nightly event.
 
When eating alone at home, I pop a CD in when I start preparing dinner and through the meal. Music doesn't violate the "don't watch television" rule Mom drilled into us. I find the music very helpful.

Although I've never been married or in a long-term relationship, I never lived alone until I was 35. After college, I ate alone at home some as my schedule didn't always line up with whoever I was living with. But that wasn't a nightly event.
 
When eating alone at home, I pop a CD in when I start preparing dinner and through the meal. Music doesn't violate the "don't watch television" rule Mom drilled into us. I find the music very helpful.

Although I've never been married or in a long-term relationship, I never lived alone until I was 35. After college, I ate alone at home some as my schedule didn't always line up with whoever I was living with. But that wasn't a nightly event.
 
When eating alone at home, I pop a CD in when I start preparing dinner and through the meal. Music doesn't violate the "don't watch television" rule Mom drilled into us. I find the music very helpful.

Although I've never been married or in a long-term relationship, I never lived alone until I was 35. After college, I ate alone at home some as my schedule didn't always line up with whoever I was living with. But that wasn't a nightly event.
 
When eating alone at home, I pop a CD in when I start preparing dinner and through the meal. Music doesn't violate the "don't watch television" rule Mom drilled into us. I find the music very helpful.

I live in Chelsea as well and know it to be a friendly neighborhood. The issue isn't your looks, it's your attitude. I don't know you, and I'm only judging from what I've read, but your writing feels needy - it feels like you're having a hard time accepting yourself for whatever reason, and perhaps are still hanging on to parts of an identity that doesn't fit anymore. Seeking happiness outside of yourself isn't going to help you feel happiness inside yourself. You might be beautiful, but you're not "straight looking" - that's not a thing and is akin to "straight acting," which is just "acting" - and people can smell bullshit without knowing that's what they're smelling.
 
You don't need to tell anyone what you look like unless they're blind. If you're truly seeking out meaningful connection, you need to show people who you are, not keep telling them how straight you look.
 
I can't tell you what you need or what you should do, but I think it's helpful to think about a few things. First, nobody out there is going to fix you or make you whole. Seeking outside yourself for validation might feel good when you get it, but what happens when you don't get it? Second, some people will like how you look and some won't and that's out of your control. Stop using your appearance as an excuse. Third, people will stick around in your life because of who you are and how they feel when they're with you, not because of how you look.
 
I recognize the harshness of my tone but I don't see value in coddling you. I do, however, want you to know that I know you deserve to have meaningful connections and a happy life. You deserve that as much as anyone else. I think you're relatively new to your gay identity and you're struggling with putting it all together. I get that. I have the benefit of being out for nearly 25 years and I know it's taken me a long time to get my shit together. If I haven't completely pissed you off, I encourage you to drop me a private message. I'd be more than happy to have coffee and be a space for you to feel heard and supported.

For the public record, I intend to be there for this forum meeting, despite having been snowed in last year and almost missing my chance to see Alec Andrews in LA on my way home. I haven't booked flights or hotels yet but there's plenty of time for that. I told @ArVaGuy this a couple of days ago, but thought I needed to declare it in the main forum.

Thank you for asking, my friend. It's-- okay. But it's weird!
 
I mentioned earlier that the last night at the hotel in NY was hard, and I had dreaded the drive back to DC. For some reason I thought that would be painful, but it really wasn't. I played music loud, sang along, and was home before I knew it. Walking into the house was a little emotional, but not tragic, I just didn't like it. My folks had invited me to dinner so I went there, and having been texted by each of my sons during the day, I got called by each of my brothers during the evening. I think they had conferred about me being alone and decided to keep me talking.
 
At home it was quiet, and everything was where I had left it-- what a change, LOL! The only bad moment was waking up the next morning and blurrily thinking I needed to get the guys going, and then remembering. And eating alone is not fun.
 
This is okay. I already miss them, of course, but to a normal degree. I worked today, and worked out before coming home, and that helped. I have no familiar routine now, no typical day, and I have to develop/discover those. And I will. All four of us are moving into new phases, and are dealing with something, loneliness, homesickness, uncertainty about the future. We'll be fine.
 
But oh man, does it help to have all of you to "talk" to about it. Thanks for listening.

I just checked out and after a bite to eat will drive back to DC.
 
Dinner on Sunday with DePaul twin, his roommate, and older brother was okay, everyone obviously aware of the looming goodbye but in control. When we took the two freshmen back to their dorm roommate shook our hands and called both me and older brother "Sir," and then twin hugged us both and said "Call me soon." No "be happy" moment this time. Like his twin, he walked into the dorm without a glance back.
 
Monday morning Oldest and I drove to NY, and the talk got serious, but not in the way I (or probably you) expected. He's been in a relationship for about a year, the first really serious one he's had. He wanted to talk about that, and about me and his mom. I was about his age when we got engaged, and he wanted to know how we knew that was the right thing to do, how we knew each other was the right one, etc. He's thinking about where to go from here, how to know what to do next. Now, we got married younger than anyone would have advised, and had kids immediately, so I don't know if my input is the best, but I tried to tell him how it was. He knows his mom was pregnant when we got married (although we were engaged already). He said he'd been jealous of his little brothers because they'd had such strong relationships in high school and he hadn't, which totally surprised me, he'd never given any indication of that. But he's clearly very much in love with this young woman, and she is lovely, but they're juniors in college. I mostly listened, but told him about how it felt when his mom and I got serious. He threw in that they were thinking of moving off-campus together at some point, so I guess that question's been answered.
 
Tuesday morning we picked up his stuff from storage and moved him into his dorm. He's had a great roommate the past two years, who was a huge help when he broke his leg, and they are moving into a suite with two others this semester. One of the new guys had his parents there and allow me to digress and say his dad is hot as hell.
 
We didn't go to a show last night after all, just a farewell dinner, where he did indeed gently express concern about me being alone. I was honest and said I don't know how it will be, but assured him I'd figure it out. I know some of you think I should open up to the boys and I intend to, but I really want to do it when we're all together. But since he'd brought it up I reminded him that they used to badger me to start dating, and I asked why they had abruptly stopped. He got very serious, and said that we'd all been at the table and he and the twins had been boisterously suggesting women for me to date. I'd laughed it off, but when I left the room, he said I had looked sad. (I have no memory of this at all.) He was 15 and the twins 13. He told his brothers he thought they were hurting my feelings, and they all agreed to leave me alone. Then he said will you maybe start dating now? And I said I think I might, and he nodded.
 
He is the cynic in the family, the unsentimental one, and when I took him back to campus I expected a handshake or manly hug at best. But before he got out of the car, he reached out and touched my face and said, "Call me soon, too." I just nodded, and off he went.
 
Last night at the hotel was hard, but I'm okay. I slept late, which I never do. I've written this over a late breakfast, and while I typed I've had texts from all three. Now, back to DC.

I understand where you're coming from, but you yourself opened this can of worms. You came here and solicited for opinions... And you got them. Because you didn't get the response you wanted doesn't mean some of them are wrong
 
All said, you've been here long enough to know this is how things function around these parts. Opinions spiral into megathreads and it turns into That's Entertainment I, II and III.

I'm in~ ...and looking forward~!

I have had two massages from him this summer. Well-mannered, above-average massage, and easy on the eyes. He incorporates some stretching into the massage, which I enjoyed.

He's never worn more than a smile when I've seen him. I never asked, but I suspect interactivity may be available.

When I was 17, I knew an older gay man who made amateur "physique" photos, which were published in the little black-and-white "physique" magazines that were sold on news stands in Times Square. I was at his house one day when one of his models dropped in unexpectedly. The three of us were sitting, fully clothed, in his living room having a conversation. The model was a super-hot hunk, and I could feel my member becoming aroused just by his presence. Finally, the guy turned to me and gave me a long, flirtatious smile....and I came in my pants. It was hard to hide what had happened, and the model leered with satisfaction at his power to provoke my spontaneous ejaculation.

Thanks everyone for the feedback about Tyler. I've emailed him about setting up a meeting. If all goes well a review will definitely be submitted. Looking forward to this for sure.

I agree with all the above, but would add that it's ok to allocate some small portion of your portfolio (say five or ten percent) to pick individual stocks / play your hunches / gamble. That may help scratch that itch and will most likely show why you're smart to index the rest. Besides, it can be a hell of a lot of fun.
 
Kevin Slater

Okay, I'll try to be succinct. Try.

When I went back down to the pool, the twins, GF, and her parents were sitting on the deck talking. Plebe twin and GF were on chaises, and as the chat went on, he fell asleep. So now we were all watching him sleep, talking softly about his summer. He woke with a jolt and apologized, mostly to GF. The kids went up to the rooms to dress, and by now older bro was back. We all wanted to give Plebe and GF some time alone, but logistics were tricky with her parents there and limited time. So we eneded up going to dinner near the Annapolis Mall, with the two of them going out alone and the rest of us going elsewhere. Her parents had a million questions about his summer and the year ahead, and his brothers answered more than I did.
 
The pair of them walked back to meet us (I suspect after some smooching), and GF left with her folks. We still had some time, so back to DTA to visit over ice cream. This was the most normal it all seemed all weekend, everyone behaving like we always had, and very little talk about the Academy. DePaul twin told him about his roommate-to-be, and what the dorms at DePaul look like online-- much homier than Plebe rooms. Then walked him back to get him there before he turned into a pumpkin at midnight.
 
Sunday morning we met at the beautiful Chapel and joined the boys' cousin, my wife's sister's son, who is a rising senior there. He's always been a great guy and they all look up to him, not least because he's about 6'4! Afterwards we brought him back to the hotel for brunch (Midshipmen at an all-you-can-eat brunch must strike fear in establishments all over Annapolis). Cousin remembers his aunt, the boys' mom, and her death hit him hard when it happened. After brunch, he said, "I wish your mom was here, she'd be so proud." And cynical, sarcastic older brother said, "She is, and she is." And, well, no one said anything, or could have, for a while.
 
Cousin headed back to the Yard and we went to the rooms to relax. The plan was to swim again, but somehow we never got around to it. He didn't fall asleep this time, but we watched TV, surfed the internet, snacked, and talked. He was due back at 6, er, 1800, so we left to get there early enough that there wouldn't be a rush, or a delay at the gate. In the days before air travel, few Midshipman went home for Thanksgiving, so wouldn't see their families again until Christmas. So a longstanding tradition at the end of Plebe Parents' Weekend is for the upperclass to loudly play Christmas Music as the Plebes are dropped off the last day. We knew that would happen and were amused by it, but we saw some families who were visibly shaken at the reminder of how long it would be. In he went after hugs all around, but more normal ones, a "Good luck" to his twin, and we stayed to watch evening formation where we couldn't find him in the crowd. We stayed the night, to make the return home less fraught than it had been back in June.
 
So. In less than two weeks we take his twin to Chicago for orientation. From there I'll drive older brother, who is anxious to get back to his GF, back to NY. Paradoxically, the one I'll be able to see most often once the academic year starts is Plebe twin, since he gets some liberty on weekends and he's only 45 minutes away. I won't hover though, I'll wait and see how much he wants visits. But I have season tickets for Navy football, so at the very least I'll see him at games.
 
Onward.

@nate_sf and @ArVaGuy,
 
Thanks for coordinating the upcoming event. My trip is booked and I am looking forward to seeing everyone.

@LoveNDino thanks for the research to disprove my suspicions.

Any first hand experience with Menyc? PM me if you'd prefer.
 
https://rent.men/MEnyc