ApexNomad

Oops, this was outcall for him!! He came to your apartment. Okay, makes sense. That was very nice. I mostly do outcalls so I thought you took him to a bar or lounge. For first-time providers, I always proceed with caution and like to keeps things professional.

Beer is cheap, but his time isn’t. I’m glad he stayed beyond your one hour appointment.

Speak with your doctor or your a healthcare provider about your specific needs and concerns regarding PrEP. They can provide personalized advice, answer all your questions, and ensure you’re using the medication correctly. While forums can be helpful for shared experiences, they are no substitute for professional medical guidance.

That’s nice to hear you had such a positive experience and connected so well! Thanks for sharing the recommendation. Just a thought: since he initiated the idea of having a drink, it might’ve been considerate for him to offer to cover it, assuming he didn’t, as you mentioned buying his beer. Especially since that was outside the agreed-upon arrangement. Otherwise, it sounds like a really memorable meeting!

What was unusual about the meeting? Was it the pre-deed part - the wanting to have a drink with you first - or the session?

I see your point. That said, gay relationships aren’t without their own unique challenges. LGBTQ+ couples often face societal stigma, discrimination, and even safety risks, particularly when expressing affection in public. These external pressures can create stress that many heterosexual couples might not encounter as frequently. Even within gay culture, stereotypes about roles—such as who’s perceived as more passive or dominant, or who “should” take on certain responsibilities—can perpetuate expectations that limit genuine connection. These assumptions, tied to broader societal notions of masculinity and power, can create tensions within relationships that might otherwise feel more equal. At the end of the day, no relationship exists in a vacuum. Gay or straight, every relationship is shaped by personal dynamics, cultural expectations, and how the individuals involved choose to navigate them. True connection comes from challenging those assumptions and building something authentic together.

I’m the client! I’m not a provider. But to your point, similarly, I view my transactions with providers strictly as a business. Keeps everything professional.

Yes, same. To clarify, I never expect my regulars to accommodate my schedule—ever. It’s quite the opposite. I’ll still ask what works best for them, but they insist on knowing what works for me. My schedule is all over the place. I’ll share my availability for the day I’m looking at, and they just make it happen.

There is a correlation between higher STD rates and the South, particularly in red states below the 40-degree latitude. A combination of factors, including limited access to comprehensive sex education, higher poverty rates, and fewer sexual health resources (testing, etc.) all play a role. Cultural attitudes in some areas may discourage open discussions about sexual health, leading to lower condom usage, failure to get tested, and inadequate use of available medication, all of which contribute to higher STD transmission rates.

It’s the neck tattoo that I could do without. But if he’s happy, I’m happy… and I know he can make me happy. 😂

I think there’s definitely an element of attraction between young bottoms and mature older daddy top. There’s the sense of safety, emotional and financial security, physical protection, and even the appeal of intelligence and experience. It creates a dynamic that can be incredibly fulfilling and comforting for both sides.

Well said! That’s absolutely true when dealing with someone new. For a new provider, I don’t expect my availability to matter—they’re running a business, and I either make their schedule work or I look elsewhere. But with regulars, it’s a different story. My regulars always work around my schedule—they make the time, no matter what. I don’t expect it, but they just do. That kind of consideration is one of the reasons I stay loyal to them. Always.

Trust me, the provider will spot the envelope; I wouldn’t worry. But if it gives you peace of mind, especially with first-time providers, you can set it on a table, stand, or wherever you prefer. Look at him, smile, and step away. He’ll know! The best providers will keep their eyes on you the entire time. They’ll know it’s there and will take it at the end. After that, it’s your time to enjoy.

I always give money in an unsealed envelope, especially with first-time providers. I leave it on a desk where they can see it as soon as they walk in. They’ve never counted it in front of me, and I avoid handing it to them directly (only with first-time providers). They know it’s there and will take it when appropriate. Personally, handing someone the money to inspect and then taking it back until they fulfill their end of the agreement feels awkward and unprofessional. It’s better to establish trust and respect from the beginning by keeping the process smooth and discreet.

True! The Tony’s love Borle and Cerveris.

Notwithstanding all the divided opinions, how does a bottom really pull this off with a provider (assuming the provider is the top)? Practically speaking, how do they keep everything in place without awkward leaks? Is it all about next-level muscle control or strategic clenching? Gravity alone seems like a challenge—walking, sitting, or taking a car ride would make it tricky. Maybe they use a discreet plug or snug clothing, but even then, the timing has to be perfect. Do they lie down after the last encounter or just embrace some messiness?

Thank you for sharing something so deeply personal. Your words resonate with me. Many years ago, I lost someone who was more than just my partner—he was the one who taught me the depths of what love could mean. He was the first to make me believe in a future where love felt safe, certain, and lasting. When he passed, I fell into the same pattern you described, replaying all the “lasts.” The last time we laughed together. The last time he surprised me with something small but thoughtful—a flower he picked on his way home or a favorite bottle of wine. The last time he said my name. The last time he touched me. Those memories became sacred but also suffocating. One day, while going through some of his things, I came across an old note he had written to me. It wasn’t meant to be profound—it was just a grocery list with a little message scribbled at the bottom: “Let’s make this a good day.” That simple phrase stuck with me. I realized I had been focusing so much on what was gone that I had stopped allowing myself to create new moments, new memories, new beginnings. It wasn’t about replacing him or forgetting what we had. It was about honoring him by continuing to live in the way he had encouraged me to—with openness to joy and possibility. Now, when I think of him, I don’t just remember the endings. I celebrate the beginnings—the first time he made me feel seen, the first time I let my guard down and trusted someone completely, the first time I realized that love doesn’t need to be perfect to be real. Those firsts don’t take away from the love I’ve shared with others before or since—they’re a part of the larger tapestry of who I am and how I’ve loved. I hope, as you move through your grief, you’ll give yourself the grace to hold on to the past while also leaving space for new beginnings. Life may feel heavy now, but it’s still full of so much to discover and cherish. Even the smallest steps forward can remind us that love, in all its forms, is worth pursuing—until the very end.

Much love and blessings to you!

I hope so, because a hairy chest on a man is just… perfection. When his chest presses firmly against mine, the hair brushing and tickling my nipples, it sends little jolts of heat through me. My hands running over that warm, rugged hair, feeling every muscle shift beneath. And then, the softer, downy hair along his thighs or the rougher scruff at the curve of his ass when I grip him tight… Bring back the fur!

I also liked Angela Lansbury and Tyne Daly.

Tammy Faye announces closing - December 8 Broadway's Tammy Faye Abruptly Sets Final Performance PLAYBILL.COM The Elton John-Jake Shears musical opened at the Palace Theatre November 14.

A gorgeous production. Not sure we’ll see something like that again on that kind of scale.

I’m glad you saw the video - it was a beautiful performance.

I hear you. However, if I’m already attracted to you, then why lie about your age? The lie doesn’t change how I feel, so what’s the point? It seems like the lie might stem from insecurity or a desire to present a version of yourself that you think is more acceptable, but if I’m still interested regardless, it makes the deception seem unnecessary. So the real question becomes: What are you hoping to gain from the lie when it doesn’t impact my attraction?

Update: I recently had the chance to see Adam Lambert in Cabaret, and his performance completely blew me away. Unlike Eddie Redmayne, whose Emcee felt trapped in an abstract and overly cerebral interpretation, Lambert brought the character to life with vibrant energy and authenticity. He perfectly captured the balance between playful decadence and heartbreaking vulnerability, creating a performance that felt both grounded and electric. What truly set Lambert apart was his extraordinary voice (Side note: I became a huge fan when I saw his rendition of Cher’s Believe at the Kennedy Center.) He commanded every song with such power and emotion that it gave the numbers a whole new depth. But it wasn’t just about the vocals—Lambert understood the Emcee. He embodied the character as a fluid, ever-changing enigma: part entertainer, part provocateur, and part harbinger of the looming darkness. His Emcee didn’t just inhabit the stage; he owned it, pulling the audience into the cabaret’s chaotic and haunting world. This was a brilliant interpretation that should have opened this revival.