Occasional

A good few years ago now, I hired a Brazilian escort from the UK (heavyweight) website Sleepyboy for a fairly local incall in London - about 5 miles from the centre. Went well, added him to my favourites. A couple of weeks later, turned up the profile to see new name, new phone number, new photos - but still the same address (as can be deduced from feeding in the (very granular) UK postcode into the SB search function then 'search for nearest' and see "0.0 miles") In fact - a new escort! Another change of escort a few weeks later.  I came to the conclusion that the premises were a word-of-mouth 'first stop' for newly arrived Brazilians getting themselves sorted, cutting their teeth with escorting with the benefits of the mentorship of the last-most-recent arrival and a long-ago-created profile showing a reassuring six-figure hit number on the profile. They would then move more centrally, create their own profile with the confidence that comes from a bit of experience, and up their rates.
Quite a neat 'production line' !
 

A good few years ago now, I hired a Brazilian escort from the UK (heavyweight) website Sleepyboy for a fairly local incall in London - about 5 miles from the centre. Went well, added him to my favourites. A couple of weeks later, turned up the profile to see new name, new phone number, new photos - but still the same address (as can be deduced from feeding in the (very granular) UK postcode into the SB search function then 'search for nearest' and see "0.0 miles") In fact - a new escort! Another change of escort a few weeks later.  I came to the conclusion that the premises were a word-of-mouth 'first stop' for newly arrived Brazilians getting themselves sorted, cutting their teeth with escorting with the benefits of the mentorship of the last-most-recent arrival and a long-ago-created profile showing a reassuring six-figure hit number on the profile. They would then move more centrally, create their own profile with the confidence that comes from a bit of experience, and up their rates.
Quite a neat 'production line' !
 

I've never really taken the time to introspectively explore my feelings for other men until recently. What I've realized is that I'm simply not wired for traditional monogamy. In past romantic relationships, I usually feel genuine attraction and affection for the first six months to a year. But after that, the intensity fades, things start to feel routine, and I find myself craving variety and newness. It's not that I stop caring about my partner… it’s just that the spark becomes dull for me, and I need something fresh to feel fulfilled.  I think this transition is traditionally seen as the evolution of love, but I’ve never experienced it as being mind-blowingly intense as I’ve seen it described on occasion.
This pattern is ultimately what led me to transactional connections with escorts. For me, it’s a clean, no-strings-attached way to meet an immediate intimate need. Hiring ensures that I can select a top-notch partner on my terms.  I can connect with an attractive person for a short time, compensate them fairly, and then go on with my life without expectations or complications. It works well with how I’m built.
I do enjoy kissing in the moment because it feels good during physical intimacy, but I’ve never experienced it as something that creates deep emotional bonding. Once the encounter ends, I feel satisfied and complete. Because of this, I don’t believe I’ve ever truly been “in love” in the lasting, enduring way many people describe. What I’ve felt in romantic relationships has been closer to strong affection or infatuation. That excitement tends to wear off after a while, and the connection usually settles into something more like a close friendship in the context or a romantic relationship.
This is simply how intimacy and love have shown up for me.  I’m curious how others have experienced the intersection of romantic love, physical desire, and emotional needs… especially in relation to our shared hobby.

Posting new rates on your website wouldn't work for me because I never check it for providers I already see regularly. I simply text them directly when I want to book.
I prefer to be told in advance, BEFORE I'm scheduling my next appointment. A quick text saying, "Starting on X date, my new rates will be..." is perfectly fine. Even better, let me know in person at the end of a session while the current rates still apply.
What I don't appreciate is finding out only when I'm trying to book. If that's when you decide to tell me the rates have gone up, my automatic response is likely to be, "Good luck with that."
You have every right to raise your prices whenever you want. But if you want to keep me as a client, give me a heads-up instead of surprising me at booking time. It's a simple courtesy.

In Canada, representing yourself as “HIV negative on PrEP” when you know you are HIV positive, even if durably undetectable viral load, is still a factual misrepresentation. Whether that misrepresentation ultimately vitiates consent to penetrative sex is a separate legal question. The analysis begins with the fact that an untruth was told (occurred), where in the context of duty to disclose considerations in Canada in fact there is no legal distinction between a lie and silence. It does not begin by asking whether the risk of HIV transmission was negligible.
Similarly, if the facts are serious enough to attract consideration of an aggravated sexual assault charge (the legal framing of indictment that still stands, however outdated it seems), the inquiry would first acknowledge that a misrepresentation occurred. Whether charges are laid, or whether the Crown (prosecution) ultimately proves the legal elements, including based on current science whether there was a realistic possibility of HIV transmission under the applicable legal framework, are subsequent questions. None of those later determinations erase the fact that the original representation was false. 
It would be the alleged factual information distortion itself that spearheads the legal analysis within which alterations in criminalization rhetoric and guidelines are actually desired, needed, and ideally applied uniformly. For example, case law that shifts the definition of reasonably executed transmission eradication from that of [TasP + condom] to [TasP (U=U) alone]. If you’re not arguing the logical point backwards by prevailing upon transmission outcome equivalency, the lie doesn’t evaporate simply because the eventual answer to a different legal question happened to be ‘no’. 

Well put.
But I spent 45 years working closely with live performers, and know exactly what happens when the curtain comes down. The show has a beginning and an end, for the cast, and for the audience - I accept that, for my ticket price, the provider is an actor who can make me feel like I'm on stage as co-star, worthy of curtain calls and roses, while understanding that I am actually just a few digits in box office. 
 

So, open at it for a number of years now and have had some very long-term Clients~ for many years these guys have been my friends and family. In the past year, I lost seven of these individuals. They’re passing was a lot…   
 It was a significant personal loss for me, but incomplete honesty. It was also financial loss. So, I started taking new Clients~ I’m getting a lot of Gen Z: amazing energy and super intimate and I love the way they approach sexuality. Very different than previous generations.
 Sometimes though what they do is something called haystacking: they go through a number of individuals and they look for red flags, making the haystack smaller and then they move a step further by picking out a few individuals who will be in the very small haystack pile so they can find those precious golden nuggets who they will eventually hire. So they will contact me after they’ve already done some hay stacking. And then they invite me for coffee. Maybe a little lunch or, maybe we are riding around on a scooter or an E bike. It’s super fun. I just love these guys.  
 We go on this tiny date to fill things out. I love their honesty and forward fashion. If it’s a fun meeting, then we plan an actual play and pay date… What’s a wonderful about this process is since they’ve kind of gone through a bit of vetting, when we meet, it’s already been determined that we’re gonna get along and have fun and then we sort of bond and create an ongoing situation~   
 

So that you wake up with them!  For me, the cherry on the cake of an overnight session is to wake up feeling refreshed and relaxed right next to an attractive, naked young man in bed with me. My hand gently finds his thigh and then slides up his leg to gently fondle his cock and balls, mentally reliving the actvities of the previous night and pleasurably anticipating a further round of action in the comfort of our warm bed .....

It seems silly to expect a provider to literally provide drop-in service, but short notice?  I understand that a lot of providers don't work that way, but at least back in the day of sites like Craigslist a lot did.  I cannot count the number of times a guy would place an ad, I would respond within a few minutes of his ad showing up, he would respond within a few minutes of receiving my response, and we'd meet within an hour.  I get that that is not equivalent to having an escort ad up 24/7 on a site like Rent.men because no one is going to be available all day and night every day, and a lot of the guys who put ads on Craigslist only did so sporadically and when they were actively looking for work.  (Yes, there were guys who put ads up several times per day every day, but that's not the kind of guy I mean.)  I'd never pressure a guy to meet earlier than was convenient for him, though, and sometimes that meant scheduling several hours in advance but a lot of providers were as eager to meet as soon as possible as I was.  

I have to agree that 90 minutes is ideal for some chat, some foreplay, the "main event" and then some pillow talk. 

.. but of course, they're not at all experienced with this sort of thing.  So it's all subcontracted out to Thailand. Bangcock, to be precise.

If you create a free account with Sleepyboy, after logging in you'll find an option "Make a Request", which leads to a page where you can post a message that all escorts can see. I was pleasantly surprised when I used that facility some time ago to say I was seeking a provider who was definitely into my kink, rather than simply including it in the list of options on their profile and being perfunctory and transactional when it came to it. I had a number of thoughful and encouraging replies from providers, which helped me forward.  Maybe that might work for you, too?
Also DM'd you.

Deposits take many forms.  Reminds me of experience with a 30-something “twink” still operating in New Orleans.  Apologizing in advance for the sour grapes, but sometimes the best reinforcement comes from true stories.  

Days before our first meet, he had a crisis with his mini storage contents being auctioned for non payment unless he had $181 by 5PM.
I sent the money - cha ching - plus a bit   Total $250.
As the date approached a couple days later, “the vet was too expensive so now I don’t have the money to replace the tire to make the drive to your house.”  I sent the money plus a bit - cha ching - another $250…I accidentally sent twice…so then I’m $750 into an overnight that has yet to happen.
He did show for our for our first meeting…if I recall about 2 hrs late…but I was doubting until he rolled into the driveway  
Within 24 hrs of his arrival at my house, this situation started a spiral into the most dramatic chaos you could imagine.  In the end, over the next 30 days, the “deposit” turned into $3,300 (to avoid eviction, groceries, ransoming his car from the impound lot for unpaid tickets….) that was to be repaid at $100/wk. of course, he missed a couple of planned engagements as well for lame excuses.   Naturally, I’ve not seen a dime and his situation seems to have spiraled further out of control rendering him completely untrustworthy to me.  
So, first, I own the fact that I allowed myself to be hustled.   But let’s call it what it is:
- outsized deposits rooted in chaotic life management issues are not the mark of a professional and are a major red flag
- life’s too short to get pulled into someone else’s drama
A token deposit for a well reviewed professional gentleman is a valid business tool for them and evidence of good faith from you - particularly if they have costs to get to you.  But when the request is rooted in a shaggy dog story to make you feel like an a$$hole if you say no, then it’s likely a hustle.   Just say “no” and cancel the plans.  If you’re conflicted about it, PM me for moral support   
As to this situation, I’d be more forgiving and tolerant if he’d made even a token attempt to repay.   But his attitude is one of entitlement because I had the money to “give” so he shouldn’t have to repay.   Such is the mark of the hustler who doesn’t have the standing to get a legitimate deposit but still wants money upfront.
 

I don't believe we should have to tip masseurs or escorts when they are setting their own rate. Tips are for places of business like a massage spa where the service person is only getting a cut of what you pay the spa...then you tip. If someone is working for themselves, they set their own rate. I only tip if our interaction exceeds what is stated in the service description for example, if a masseur says both nude and release, but we end up doing more like oral or fucking, then I will just give him an extra $50 to $100. I've noticed that a lot of asian masseurs when they come to my apartment for massage they ask for tips and I have to explain to them how it works. A lot of them come from working in massage parlors. 

Following this thread, and feeling compassion for the guys who get hooked emotionally on their provider.
This thread has made me realise (if I ever doubted it - which from time to time I have, fleetingly) that I really am not closet-gay.  I just like cock, occasionally!
Doesn't mean that I'm purely transactional with providers.  Friends? No.  But a friendly demeanour, some relaxed chat? - yes. Look forward to seeing favourites again?  Yes. Heavily on my mind? No.  
Paradoxically, I feel I get closer to an enjoyable 'boyfriend experience' with those providers who can sense that what I'm paying them for is to leave - physically and emotionally - after the session, rather than paying them to [try to] buy my way into emotional involvement with them. I guess the other side of that coin is that some providers with whom I have only a so-so experience, would prefer to sense emotional involvement from the client, so as to get a hooked-up frequent regular.

My default is to provide as little information as possible. I have had mainly great experiences but as many of the threads here attest, not everyone in this hobby is wonderful and some have hidden agendas. I’m more forthcoming with those that I establish an ongoing relationship but, if it’s a one-off experience, the less they know about me, the better I like it. 

This is close to my behavior, but I'm even more cautious. Accurate stats are something the provider is entitled to know before agreeing to a session, but I use a burner phone and don't reveal my name or any other details until we meet.  Then, if I feel comfortable, I'll share my real first name (which is a common one) and a few details about my life (the industry I work in, the part of town I live in, etc.) but I may fuzz up the latter details.  And I'm happy to talk about my younger days or my interests or other information that doesn't reveal my identity.  I've seen providers regularly for a couple of years without sharing any identifying information about myself.  
The reason I am so cautious about sharing this information is not because I think I can't trust the provider but because I can't KNOW that I can trust the provider.  I worry about and overthink everything, so if a provider had what I think is too much identifying information about me, I would start to see them as a potential threat.  That ruins the relationship from my perspective.  I realize that that is all about me and not the provider and that it may border on the paranoid, but I live close to that border.  

I hired masseurs in my 20s because I found massage highly erotic as well as just making my body feel better. Had plenty of sexual outlets but just enjoyed it and my reasons haven't changed. 
Plus something to be said for an easy drama free moment with someone who knows that they're doing. 

Gordon Grant - what a brute! 💦

I think that a real regular is happy to see you whenever you can make it happen. For me, It’s a constantly changing roster. I’m happy when I’m trying to juggle several regulars because I know someone is going to move away, retire, or otherwise become unavailable and then I’m looking for new talent. I prefer dealing with the first problem rather than the second. Soon enough the problem will take care of itself. 

Not a big deal to me. I have experienced that and I'm ok with it. First, I respect my body, so I don't force it to finish if it's not getting there. Second, not finishing doesn't diminish what I have already enjoyed. Third, I am a customer and I don't owe "finishing" to anyone.
The times when I've experienced that, however, seems to have planted doubt on the provider, probably thinking that he didn't do the work right or something along those lines. Not only I have reassured the provider, explaining to him what I just wrote, but I have returned (and finished, and FINISHED, sometimes on/in him).
Of course, I prefer finishing but if it doesn't happen, I'm fine with it.

I feel I might be tempted by a straight guy who makes it clear in his profile that he's looking to receive oral.  Men give the best blow jobs!  At some level, I think that a lot of straight guys realise that.  And I get pleasure from giving men pleasure - when I'm in the mood for that.
A competent massage as a warm-up would add to the appeal . . . 

I feel I might be tempted by a straight guy who makes it clear in his profile that he's looking to receive oral.  Men give the best blow jobs!  At some level, I think that a lot of straight guys realise that.  And I get pleasure from giving men pleasure - when I'm in the mood for that.
A competent massage as a warm-up would add to the appeal . . . 

It’s like wearing loose fit jeans rather than skinny jeans. 

Yes they fill the inside with hormones that make you want to buy them dinner, new clothes and undertake DIY tasks. Best to stick to using the ass. 

Are you sure the urge to disclose isn’t coming from a less flattering place? He wronged you by taking your money, and even if it’s unconscious, there’s a real risk that this disclosure is about moral positioning, controlling the narrative, or preemptively absolving yourself.
Ask yourself this: if no money had changed hands, would the same urgency still be there? If the answer is no, then this isn’t really about transparency. It’s about discomfort with unresolved moral business.
Just make sure you’re not telling yourself a cleaner story than the one that’s actually driving the impulse.