DznNYC

I love that this topic exists... Because - in my New York City experience - scheduling and logistics kill 90% of all sex encounters. And like it or not, escorting fits under that umbrella. There are days - particularly weekends - where I'm available on a moment's notice. (Or travel time's notice?) But that's the exception, not the rule. Sadly, I do this part time. I have a day job. I have weekly regulars built into my life. It takes a little planning to find the right time to meet a new client. Also, let's be honest about ... "needs a shower." Some of us are primarily bottoms. We're not offering the reality of boyfriend sex; we're offering the fantasy of perfection in that department. It usually requires a heads up.

Gunnison Beach in Sandy Hook NJ is still my go-to. Creeper photo of me there turned up on Twitter this summer. Lol. I was delighted to see it.

Glad to have found this topic. As a provider, I connect with clients on an array of platforms. But at some point prior to meeting, we need to have a real nuts-and-bolts conversation about your wants/needs/desires/expectations so we can both determine if we're a good fit. At some point a frank adult conversation is necessary. And I think it's important to remember that - as much as acceptance of sex work has grown - we're still dealing with some legal and cultural taboos. And privacy is still paramount. So I try to only have these nuts-and-bolts conversations on WhatsApp or - ideally - telegram. And it's amazing how many clients balk at transitioning to one of those apps. If you're a person looking to pay for private adult time isn't it in your best interest to have an encrypted texting app? Something where both parties can clear the entire chat? Somehow this doesn't seem like an unreasonable expectation all around. Am I wrong?

This is the kind of stuff I hear that makes me think I'm a bad businessman. LOL

Hahaha, I almost responded exactly the same thing. Thank god for those *other* providers, lol. I'm honestly sort of lost without kissing. I find it's my #1 connection to the client, that and eye contact. For me it's the primary guide whether or not you're doing what the client likes. Some of us actually do get off on pleasing, and there's no better way to know if your client is pleased or not.

$200 for a referral fee

Not sure if this is the right place to post this, but I'm sure someone will let me know! I've had existing clients ask for fetish play, which in theory is excellent. If a client is asking for something off the beaten path, that means you've made them feel safe and unjudged. But some of the asks - let's just say - I'm super willing, but they require much more of my time and energy to prepare. Then the balk at the raise in rates. Am I handling this wrong? I'm I crazy to ask for more?

I have an out-of-state escorting client who gets off on flying providers in for the day. Early morning flight in. Mid morning hotel session. Wait a couple hours. He returns for an afternoon session. You fly home. He's been super loyal in keeping me in rotation, but he's *always* asking me to send new guys. It's a terrific arrangement, because he always sends me a finder's fee for the referral. But my question here is: what's a sensible ask in terms of finder's fees? Honestly I was suspicious that he was all talk about that aspect of it. But when i followed up, "Hey how did you like my friend?" he was only to happy to send me the funds. Which led me to ask: did I undersell??

Yes! Bernard G! I was for sure a part of one iteration of these pre-covid. They were literally the hottest time.

This is definitely a tightrope we walk as providers. Because of the intimate nature of the service Iprovide, the cold detachment just doesn't feel right to me. Especially since my general approach is to cultivate regular ongoing situations. A personal connection of some sort becomes inevitable. Especially as you learn to navigate a regular client and his desires, quirks, hangups, insecurities, etc. You have to do it with a degree of empathy. You can't leave your humanity at the door when you walk in if you genuinely get off on providing a client with a top shelf experience. All that said, boundaries are of paramount importance. And you find opportunities to assert those whenever you can. As a bona fide gym rat, I find myself observing the relationships that clients develop with their personal trainers, and sometimes it seems an apt parallel. These folks spend enough time with their clients to really get to know them, and real friendships can develop. But the framework for that friendship is always there: one is paying the other for a service that makes their life better. I often have regulars text me on off days/hours. Usually it's a reference to something funny we talked about. I was initially unsure of how to handle this kind of thing. But ultimately, we're humans who have a regular ongoing interaction. So I do often engage, but I'm careful of doing it immediately. Happy to engage, but you don't get my full immediate attention until it's our designated time. To me it's all about ways to maintain boundaried connections.

Also, I'd be remiss if I didn't mention Bryan Slater. Former porn actor, very supportive of sex workers. https://twitter.com/bryanslaterxxx/

I've worked with a lot of photographers who work in trade. i.e. You let them shoot you in exchange for their use of the images. Most of them are open to restrictions within that. Kevin D Hoover is an excellent one. Jim Cox, if you're in LA or Palm Springs. James Loy (James Rated X) in LA. Anotherselfmachine in NYC. BernardG in Jersey City. Chris Crisco in NYC. Sam Devries in NYC. Covet Image in Chicago.

Love hearing about these stories. My piss enthusiast clients are always my favorite. Because they tend to be direct and straightforward about what they want.

Exactly!! I was like… I think we’re done here. I guess the ‘boyfriend experience’ was too convincing?

What was wrong with it?

Low key provider here! 🙋🏼‍♂️ Rent men is too public for my day job. So I just connect with clients case by case. Using my wits. 😏

This sounds like an amazing time all around!