DznNYC

I have an out-of-state escorting client who gets off on flying providers in for the day. Early morning flight in. Mid morning hotel session. Wait a couple hours. He returns for an afternoon session. You fly home. He's been super loyal in keeping me in rotation, but he's *always* asking me to send new guys. It's a terrific arrangement, because he always sends me a finder's fee for the referral. But my question here is: what's a sensible ask in terms of finder's fees? Honestly I was suspicious that he was all talk about that aspect of it. But when i followed up, "Hey how did you like my friend?" he was only to happy to send me the funds. Which led me to ask: did I undersell??

Yes! Bernard G! I was for sure a part of one iteration of these pre-covid. They were literally the hottest time.

This is definitely a tightrope we walk as providers. Because of the intimate nature of the service Iprovide, the cold detachment just doesn't feel right to me. Especially since my general approach is to cultivate regular ongoing situations. A personal connection of some sort becomes inevitable. Especially as you learn to navigate a regular client and his desires, quirks, hangups, insecurities, etc. You have to do it with a degree of empathy. You can't leave your humanity at the door when you walk in if you genuinely get off on providing a client with a top shelf experience. All that said, boundaries are of paramount importance. And you find opportunities to assert those whenever you can. As a bona fide gym rat, I find myself observing the relationships that clients develop with their personal trainers, and sometimes it seems an apt parallel. These folks spend enough time with their clients to really get to know them, and real friendships can develop. But the framework for that friendship is always there: one is paying the other for a service that makes their life better. I often have regulars text me on off days/hours. Usually it's a reference to something funny we talked about. I was initially unsure of how to handle this kind of thing. But ultimately, we're humans who have a regular ongoing interaction. So I do often engage, but I'm careful of doing it immediately. Happy to engage, but you don't get my full immediate attention until it's our designated time. To me it's all about ways to maintain boundaried connections.

Also, I'd be remiss if I didn't mention Bryan Slater. Former porn actor, very supportive of sex workers. https://twitter.com/bryanslaterxxx/

I've worked with a lot of photographers who work in trade. i.e. You let them shoot you in exchange for their use of the images. Most of them are open to restrictions within that. Kevin D Hoover is an excellent one. Jim Cox, if you're in LA or Palm Springs. James Loy (James Rated X) in LA. Anotherselfmachine in NYC. BernardG in Jersey City. Chris Crisco in NYC. Sam Devries in NYC. Covet Image in Chicago.

Love hearing about these stories. My piss enthusiast clients are always my favorite. Because they tend to be direct and straightforward about what they want.

Exactly!! I was like… I think we’re done here. I guess the ‘boyfriend experience’ was too convincing?

What was wrong with it?

Low key provider here! 🙋🏼‍♂️ Rent men is too public for my day job. So I just connect with clients case by case. Using my wits. 😏

This sounds like an amazing time all around!