Mark_fl

I know officially you are paid for your time. Blah blah blah 😉 But we know there is more to it than that. Especially if it is a BFE or regular client. To you ever reach out and say nice things ro a new upcoming client? Or just treat it like a professional massage studio and confirm the day before? I'm pretty new to this game, and an escort I booked a couple of weeks out immediately wanted to chat on Whats App, which is fine with me, as I want to show the provider I'm real and not playing games, and want him to have a comfort level going to meet a stranger. But I found it surprising that every few days I get a text, "Hi handsome, hope you're having a good week" or some such thing. Is this very unusual, or is this something you also do? Are there other things like this that youbtry and do that set you apart?

I think it's just human nature (and chemical) to get emotionally attached to someone you're intimate with. Even moreso when you are hiring for a BFE, and you are paying for the illusion that the feeling is mutual. So while in our brains we know that while a provider may enjoy our company (probably just good acting though 😉), they likely aren't thinking about until we book again. But.how do you othet clients feel about hearing a provider discuss other appointments or a boyfriend/girlfriend? Jealous? Turned on? Protective? Dont want hear about it? Jist curious.

I think a big part of your frustration may be that you do things differently than either clients think you do, or how other providers do. When I see a provider has listed a city with a date, I assume that's when he will be there, whether I book or not. If you list a bunch of cities with no dates, I assume that you will travel that far, but only if you have a booking with me, and I would be expected to compensate for travel time. If that assumption is not correct, I'd recommend finding a way to say so in your ad. I can only speak for myself, but I would find it too much pressure to have a provider come to a city just for me and hope he gets other work. This might be part of the disconnect.

Legally this is rape by deception. You can try and dress it up all you want by calling it work or anything else. The law is pretty clear.

In case you didn't realize, in your examples the theft wasn't sex. If you want to change the example, say I allow you to beat me up for $100 and after the fact, you decide not to pay. I think its clearly obvious that what you did was assault, not theft of service, but apparently some might not. They'd be wrong. And there are no guarantees of an orgasm with sex, but if a provider DID make that guarantee and didn't deliver, you would be well within your rights to withhold payment.

How is it false? Consent was never given for sex without a payment either. Sorry you experienced that, however it doesn't change theno other scenario.

Not really at all. Not sure why this is so hard to grasp. If you give consent to sex with a condom, and you realize afterwards they slid it off without you knowing, you are not withdrawing consent. You never consented to that. It is legally a form of sexual assault. Similarly if you consent based on payment, and never got payment, you did not consent to that.

I'm with you on this. Maybe I'll evolve as I start to explore my gay side, but so far nothing near anyones asshole interests me in the least - mine or others. But I used to feel that way about kissing and now it's ok. Still not something that excites me with most guys though. I can't see ever rimming anyone though.

Nobody?

Having exhaused everything by Grishom and Scott Turow, I'm well into Lisa Scottoline now, who I've been enjoying. Would like to find more like Grisham, as I love legal fiction.

I'm not sure I follow this. We don't know or care WHY you're in town, as long as you aren't expecting us to cover the expense. I think if you said that of you get a booking between x date and y date, you'd come to the area for a couple of days, I can't imagine that your interested party wouldn't book something knowing the pressure to fund or fill your whole trip wasn't on them. Maybe I'm off base here, and other clients can tell me so, but that's how I feel. If I ask a provider to come to a town not on his agenda, I'd expect to pay a premium.

FWIW, I think he's cute as well, and thought we were close to booking a meeting last year when I was a week out, and asked him what times he was available and to check out my profile to make sure I was a good client for him, I got no response. And its fine that he didn't think so, but at that point a response would have been appreciated.

I think what it means is, "I'm not open to paying for your travel here. If you know when you'll be in town, please let me know and I'd love to arrange an appointment with you." I don't thinks as nefarious as you make it sound.

I just tell a provider whose rate I feel is too high something like, "thank you. I'm sure you're worth it, but thats out of my price range." But i wouldn't want a counter-offer. I dont want him to feel nickel and dimed, and I don't want to feel that I'm not getting his best because he feels like i haggled.

I just think you need to be careful and do your homework. Be honest about what you really want and neen to be satisfied. Find a provider that offers that, and make sure you have enough time without feeling rushed. Have a conversation beforehand to make sure you connect, if that's important to you. Finally, be patient. Don't let your dick lead you to the best provider at the time rather than the best for you. I had two disappointing experiences until I made these adjustments and I had a great time. And not interested in another appointment until the planets align the same way again.

My sister always goes to McDonalds on Yom Kippur, since its fast food.

I would also think that mentioning HIV status strongly implies that it might matter.

Interesting hypothetical: If he paid the provider, and then stole the money while he was in the shower, is that theft or SA? Would there be a legal difference in what he was charged with. (It's my thread, so I'm allowed to hijack it 😉)

Shouldn't even need chatgpt. Common sense should be enough to deem it sexual assault. Just like surreptitiously removing a condom. Consent is contingent on several things. If you knowingly have an STD and lie about it can also be SA, for example. This is no different than consent based on payment. It may not be a legal agreement, but without the payment, there is no consent.

I think deposits for visits that require hotels and significant travel expense aren't unreasonable. But for an incall or local, it seems a bit much. Clients are supposed to trust providers not to flake after they get a deposit, but clients arent to be trusted to show up and pay. Itnjust seems like two sets of rules. Im trusting the provider to show discretion, keep privacy, be like his photos, and deliver what was promised. That feels like a lot more I'm being asked to beleive on faith than thr provider beliving I'll show up after I've reached out, not asked for sexting or photos and agreed to a zoom or phone call. So while I understand the need for a deposit in certain circumstances, in my case it's a big red flag. I've had a provider fly on his own dime for a couple of days, and didn't ask for a dime, even as he was leaving. When I handed him an envelope with his pay, he said "are you sure?" so I think he was happy.

If showing preferences on a thread that was specifically about an online ad about what was a turnoff makes me a prude, fine. I'll own it. I'll also make a notation. If I ever want my preferences judged by an internet stranger, you'll be my first call.

Because that wasn't the topic of the post? But if being judgemental about other people's turn ons and offs makes you happy, have at it.

Well, if the provider wants to meet up to take a deposit, that might work, but Im cash-only, and I don't see that changing.

So you're saying that even polite clients who don't sext or ask for nudes are somehow wasting your time? How exactly? Not doubting you, but I'm surprised experienced providers can't smell this a mile away. Are these the guys booking appointments and not showing up/being there? What's in it for them? Just doesn't make sense to me.

I'm relatively new in terms of posting and reading (although I posted once over a year ago) and have been reading old posts. There seems to be a lot of discussion about deposits, and clients trying to get something for nothing via sexting and nudes. I'm not interested in sexting, and I've never thought I needed more pictures than were provided in the ad, unless there was no face pic. I would also never send a deposit. I'm cash only, period. But I can see why a provider would want one if they were providing sexting services. But can't provider NOT sext before meeting, or ask for a deposit in just those cases? I'd think you can tell a polite client from one of these users? It seems like a blanket policy is throwing out the baby with the bathwater.