JamesB

Very common. It’s just the provider keeping you engaged, so don’t overthink it.

I don’t bring new providers into my home. The first meeting is always at their place or at a hotel. I also make sure one person knows where I am, who I’m with, and for how long.

As part of my research when considering a new (to me) provider, I usually reach out to other clients on RMass and RMen. I don’t get a 100 percent response rate, but I’d estimate around 60 to 70% from recent clients. Some take the time to provide detailed feedback, while others offer only brief, general responses. I’ve been doing this for quite a while, and over time I’ve connected with a couple of local clients who share similar tastes as mine. We now exchange information regularly. As for DMs here on COM, my response will depend on how long the person has been a member and how much information they’ve shared publicly.

As far as I know, Colombia is on a restricted list for certain types of visas, but not for the visitor visa (B1/B2) you’re asking about. That said, these lists change frequently, so I could be mistaken. In general, as long as you can demonstrate strong ties to Colombia, such as stable employment, assets, family connections, and financial stability, you should be fine. Just keep in mind that the final decision always rests with the consular officer’s discretion on the day of the interview

Also here for cross reference. https://rent.men/gabnogueira

I’d just be upfront and ask if they’re okay with it. Most of the time the answer will be yes. To be safe, start by asking the one you think might be less comfortable with the idea. If he says no, there’s no need to approach the second person.

This statement is mostly true but there are some important legal nuances depending on where you live. In some states the law defines "Massage and Bodywork" as the same thing. In states like Delaware or North Carolina, you cannot use the word "bodywork" in your advertising unless you are a licensed massage therapist. There is also the "Scope of Practice" trap. Even if a state doesn't protect the word "bodywork," it usually protects the action of manipulating soft tissue. If an unlicensed "bodyworker" starts kneading muscles like a massage therapist, they can be prosecuted for practicing massage without a license, regardless of what they call it.

To be honest, I tend to pay more attention to selfies than to professional photos. In my experience, they’re usually closer to what someone actually looks like and are often more up to date than polished shots. That said, I don’t see anything wrong with having both types of photos in a profile.

I clearly need new glasses. I read, “I went all the way to Key West. This was well over a century ago,” and my only thought was, “Holy crap, how old are you?” 😂

I don’t see anything wrong with confirming rates or any other details listed in an ad. Expecting prospective clients to behave exactly the way you want is a great way to collect disappointment and frustration as a hobby.

In my opinion, Scott Adams was not assigning moral guilt to every black individual. He was reacting to a reported polling result. Group level data is routinely used to inform behavior. People adjust where they live, travel, or work based on crime statistics, political hostility, or social trust, even though those statistics never describe every individual. Saying that is always illegitimate when race is involved creates a special exemption that does not exist anywhere else. It is inconsistent to say patterns can be discussed until the moment they become uncomfortable. “Judge individuals” is a good moral principle but it is not how humans navigate the world at scale. We constantly rely on generalizations to manage uncertainty. Calling that racism in every case collapses an important distinction between prejudice and pragmatic caution, even when the caution is poorly worded. The claim is not that all racial generalizations are equally bad, but that responding to open expressions of hostility by advising distance is not the same thing as advocating dominance or exclusion. You can say the advice was crude or counterproductive without pretending it is equivalent to historical racism. If it is 2026, we should be able to talk honestly about data, incentives, and social breakdowns without declaring that any uncomfortable inference is automatically bigotry.

Given how much information about this person is readily available online, I’d think it wouldn’t be very difficult to persuade him to do the right thing and return the money. Just saying.

I have a strong preference for clean shaved providers, though I’m also fine with a well groomed, trimmed beard. Long, bushy beards are a no go for me. That said, I would never ask a provider to shave his beard for me.

I have a very strict rule: No Deposits, No pre-pay. It has worked for me.

In my experience, it can go either way. With some providers, each session improves as you learn each other’s likes and dislikes and become more comfortable together. With others, familiarity can lead to complacency, and they stop putting in the effort to make each encounter better.

Listen to your brain!!

The only time I’ve ever had to cancel on the same day of the appointment was due to a bike accident. I offered to pay whatever he felt was fair, and even though it was only the second time I’d booked him, he told me not to worry about it. The next time we met, I paid him 1.5 times his rate. It sounds like you missed the chance to make things right at the time of the cancellation, and he’s clearly no longer interested in working with you. Take it as a learning experience, move on, and find someone else.

I have a regular who always starts the session fully draped, which I actually appreciate. At his place, the A/C vent is directly above the massage table, so being covered during the massage portion is much more comfortable. As the session transitions into the more intimate part, he gradually removes the draping, which I find quite sensual.

If you were paying him what he asked for, why would he be disappointed? If you were to pay a lower fee to another provider, will he then lower his fee? Tell him to grow up or find another client.

I’m sorry you went through that. It’s happened to most of us, so welcome to a club none of us really wanted to join. Try to treat it as a learning experience and move on. I’d also recommend searching this forum for threads on “red flags,” as they can be very helpful. And until you develop a solid vetting process of your own, you might want to stick with providers who are recommended here. Having a no deposit, no upfront payment rule is also a good guideline to follow.

This topic comes up every so often, so here’s my take. I don’t really share the gloomy view of the economy. In 2025, the U.S. economy showed solid resilience and growth, and for 2026 I’m expecting more moderate but still steady expansion. I’m sure this varies by market, and I understand that those living on only fixed incomes may see things differently. As for provider rates, I don’t see them declining overall, nor do I expect them to. Historically, that simply hasn’t been the case. What I have noticed is a wider range of rates than usual, and I don’t have a clear explanation for that. I’ve also started seeing more discounts, which at least in my local market is fairly typical at the start of the year and again during the summer. I’ve also observed an increase in the number of providers over the past six months, though in my area most of those are traveling providers. As things stand, this “drop in rates” feels more like wishful thinking than an actual trend. As always, this is just my opinion, and it’s worth exactly what you paid for it.

Agree 100%. The Currency Transaction Report (CTR) threshold is still $10,000 nationwide for banks and other financial institutions. What does exist are limited Geographic Targeting Orders (GTOs) issued by FinCEN, but those apply only to specific counties and ZIP codes in Arizona, California, and Texas, and only affect Money Services Businesses. The current order is temporary and remains in effect through March 6, 2026. Interestingly, there is now a debate in Congress about raising the threshold, not lowering it. The $10,000 limit was set in 1972 and has never been updated for inflation. A bipartisan bill proposed in late 2025, known as the STREAMLINE Act, would increase the CTR threshold from $10,000 to $30,000, index it to inflation every five years, and adjust certain SAR thresholds.