JamesB

Listen to your brain!!

The only time I’ve ever had to cancel on the same day of the appointment was due to a bike accident. I offered to pay whatever he felt was fair, and even though it was only the second time I’d booked him, he told me not to worry about it. The next time we met, I paid him 1.5 times his rate. It sounds like you missed the chance to make things right at the time of the cancellation, and he’s clearly no longer interested in working with you. Take it as a learning experience, move on, and find someone else.

I have a regular who always starts the session fully draped, which I actually appreciate. At his place, the A/C vent is directly above the massage table, so being covered during the massage portion is much more comfortable. As the session transitions into the more intimate part, he gradually removes the draping, which I find quite sensual.

If you were paying him what he asked for, why would he be disappointed? If you were to pay a lower fee to another provider, will he then lower his fee? Tell him to grow up or find another client.

I’m sorry you went through that. It’s happened to most of us, so welcome to a club none of us really wanted to join. Try to treat it as a learning experience and move on. I’d also recommend searching this forum for threads on “red flags,” as they can be very helpful. And until you develop a solid vetting process of your own, you might want to stick with providers who are recommended here. Having a no deposit, no upfront payment rule is also a good guideline to follow.

This topic comes up every so often, so here’s my take. I don’t really share the gloomy view of the economy. In 2025, the U.S. economy showed solid resilience and growth, and for 2026 I’m expecting more moderate but still steady expansion. I’m sure this varies by market, and I understand that those living on only fixed incomes may see things differently. As for provider rates, I don’t see them declining overall, nor do I expect them to. Historically, that simply hasn’t been the case. What I have noticed is a wider range of rates than usual, and I don’t have a clear explanation for that. I’ve also started seeing more discounts, which at least in my local market is fairly typical at the start of the year and again during the summer. I’ve also observed an increase in the number of providers over the past six months, though in my area most of those are traveling providers. As things stand, this “drop in rates” feels more like wishful thinking than an actual trend. As always, this is just my opinion, and it’s worth exactly what you paid for it.

Agree 100%. The Currency Transaction Report (CTR) threshold is still $10,000 nationwide for banks and other financial institutions. What does exist are limited Geographic Targeting Orders (GTOs) issued by FinCEN, but those apply only to specific counties and ZIP codes in Arizona, California, and Texas, and only affect Money Services Businesses. The current order is temporary and remains in effect through March 6, 2026. Interestingly, there is now a debate in Congress about raising the threshold, not lowering it. The $10,000 limit was set in 1972 and has never been updated for inflation. A bipartisan bill proposed in late 2025, known as the STREAMLINE Act, would increase the CTR threshold from $10,000 to $30,000, index it to inflation every five years, and adjust certain SAR thresholds.

A quick spray before the session. Simple and effective.

I admire your patience.

Lately I’ve noticed rates are all over the place, especially with newer providers. Massages can range anywhere from $160 to $350, and escort services from about $250 to $500. @Braziliancutee In my experience, appearance only gets someone so far. It’s real skill and professionalism that justify higher prices.

For a massage session I prefer 90 minutes. If it’s my first time with a masseur, I’ll usually start with a 60 minute session to see if we’re a good match. I’ve had a couple that were so underwhelming that I was wishing they would sort me on time. If we are talking massage and play, I prefer 90 min maybe 2 hours, depending on the provider. I think that 60 minutes massage and 30 min play time works rather well for me.

I may be wrong but from your post I think you have a provider trying to pressure you for money. Don’t let the threat scare you. As others have mentioned, police generally do not get involved in situations like this unless it involves serious crimes such as exploitation of minors or trafficking. Law enforcement focuses on larger threats, and proving an agreement or intent long after the fact is very difficult due to lack of evidence and legal time limits.

Honestly, once I’m gone, why would I care? That said, I do keep my devices fairly “clean,” especially my phone and laptop. I travel internationally quite often, so there’s always the possibility that my devices could be searched.

I don’t think the pics in those two profiles belong to the same person.

On a more serious note, it really doesn’t matter much to me. I have a son, and since we’re both fluent in English and Spanish, he calls me either Dad or “Papá”. I’m actually the one who sometimes calls him “Papi”. I also have a regular provider from Asia who calls me “dear”. The first time, I’ll admit it caught me a bit off guard, but I eventually realized it’s a language and cultural thing, so it doesn’t bother me at all. Honestly, as long as there’s no intention of disrespect and they do the job I’m paying them to do well, they can call me whatever they like.

I’ll admit I didn’t even realize there was a new “New” search option on RMen. You’re absolutely right, it doesn’t work properly and doesn’t actually show the newest providers. I wish I could say I’m surprised it doesn’t work as intended, but at this point I’ve learned to expect exactly that.

I’m guessing you’re not hiring Latins, since most of them will definitely call you “Papi.” 😂😂

Am I the only one who finds it interesting that most long-standing accounts/members tend to say they’ll pay after, while most newer ones usually insist on paying upfront?

I’ve always used cash without any issues, except with one very long time provider I used to travel with, where the amounts involved made cash impractical.

First you need to ask yourself some honest questions: Are you fundamentally okay with your partner doing sex work as a profession, or does it cross a personal boundary for you regarding monogamy, intimacy or exclusivity?. How do you feel about the secrecy?. You are planning to marry this person based on a version of him that was incomplete. Will you be able to trust him from now on?. Do issues like jealousy, safety concerns or sexual health feel manageable or overwhelming? He asked you not to tell your friends. While privacy is understandable, this also serves to isolate you. It prevents you from accessing your support system. Some couples successfully navigate "out-of-the-box" arrangements, but it requires radical honesty. If you value traditional monogamy and exclusivity, this may be a fundamental incompatibility that love cannot fix. Slow down the engagement. There is no rule saying you have to get married on the original schedule while processing a revelation of this magnitude and get professional help.

I don’t want to derail my own thread by going off topic, but since privacy is a legitimate concern in this forum, I think some clarification is warranted. It is entirely possible to create an anonymous AI agent. However, anonymity is a spectrum, not a binary state, that ranges from simply not requiring an account to a fully decentralized, self-hosted system that leaves no digital footprint. From basic, using cloud based anonymity VPNs, Tor and "No-Signup" web interfaces (e.g., AnonGPT, xPrivo) to using Local LLMs with Ollama or LM Studio all the way to running an agent on Tails OS or via Tor using decentralized compute. The argument that anonymity requires a computer science degree and complex technical knowledge like knowing MCP is outdated. You don’t need to know MCP and APIs. Applications like Ollama, LM Studio, Jan.ai, and AnythingLLM have turned private AI into a one click installer, allowing users to download open source models and running them offline in minutes. Platforms like n8n let you build autonomous agents via drag and drop workflows. Vellum AI offers beginner friendly guides to deploy agents without writing a line of code, handling everything from setup to integration. Tools like Quixl use visual interfaces for creating agents, no programming required. Equating mobile messaging's security to being inherently superior to AI chats like ChatGPT overlooks some critical facts. Yes, carriers use ephemeral storage for message content, retaining it briefly. I believe it is typically 7 days for SMS or up to months in rare cases, while metadata (who, when, where) sticks around a lot longer. And yes, they use end-to-end encryption E2EE in iMessage and RCS but don't forget not all messaging is E2EE, standard SMS isn't. It's not accurate to say ChatGPT "is not encrypting anything you input”. OpenAI actually encrypts all data at rest with AES-256 and in transit via TLS 1.2+. They comply with GDPR/CCPA and offer zero data retention. Yes, I know it is not the same as true end-to-end encryption. Anonymous AI agents are accessible without tech hurdles, and privacy in AI isn't the wild west you describe. Truly anonymous AI agents are easier than ever for non experts and AI privacy, especially local, isn’t worse than messaging, often better when you control the setup. So I stand behind my previous statement that “running an AI agent anonymously isn’t particularly difficult”. I guess we’ll have to agree to disagree.

This is a pretty common issue. Check your VPN app for a “local network access” option. I don’t have NordVPN installed, so take this with a grain of salt, but try going to Settings > Connection and make sure “Stay invisible on LAN” is turned off.

I’m 6’2” and while I’m attracted to guys of all sizes, I definitely have a preference for shorter guys which kind of works out great for me.