SouthOfTheBorder

there is a luxurious gay guesthouse in Barrio Alto - The Late Birds. It’s basically a small gay design hotel. Exceptionally well done & not typical of gay guesthouses/hotels. That would be my first choice in Lisbon for sure. https://www.thelatebirdslisbon.com/homepage

New York Times, January 16 Brent Sikkema, Influential Gallerist, Is Found Dead in His Rio Apartment https://www.nytimes.com/2024/01/16/arts/design/brent-sikkema-gallerist-dead-rio.html?smid=nytcore-ios-share&referringSource=articleShare

multiple user names & imposters are nothing new here and are to be expected in an “anonymous” forum like this there are multiple members using different user names & sometimes talk to each other and about each other - why they play these games is beyond me its usually obvious because the writing style eventually gives them away.

For those in search of a real massage & more by handsome masculine guys in Bangkok - Arena is the place for you. Upon entering, you will be greeted by the lineup from which to choose. It can feel pressured the first time, but doesn't need to be that way. You can take a seat, chat with the manager who speaks English and weigh the options. the guys are working out in a basic gym setup that looks a little like a prison yard. Just the right amount of dirty & sexy. The rooms are private & with showers. After 5 visits - highly recommend. They deliver. Walkable from most hotels near Silom.

I think it’s a mistake to interpret “regularly tested” or similar with any qualifiers as any sort of indicator about someone’s sexual health. STIs can be asymptomatic for some & still contagious. And it’s a numbers game - the more partners or encounters, the more likely STI. That said, vast majority of providers I’ve encountered are more fastidious about their sexual health than people on the apps. Which makes sense given their income will be affected if they are out of commission for a week or more. As a rule, I do not select providers who say “anything goes” and rarely select the “ask me”. We’ve all been seduced by porn images showing wild bb sex & that somehow gets translated in our brains that’s how it is. It’s a fantasy and isn’t realistic in todays environments. Ive had lots of peer pressure for bb sex and even some guys insist with all sorts of justifications & distorted logic. It’s not rocket science - at some point an STI will arrive and it will be uncomfortable & inconvenient. Not a life-changing event, but not something that’s worth the risk imo. Regular testing is important and should be routine for all who are sexually active - but that test is only valid on the day it was done. And fyi - the testing is not 100% accurate - things can be missed on routine testing if swabbing is not done everywhere. Condoms are not a big deal and easy to incorporate into a routine where it’s not even a question whether to use or not. Ultimately we are responsible for our own sexual health & choices - I like to think I make choices that are better for others too.

I see all the comments here about coed parties at Thermas - yet, I’ve never experienced it not being open due to these events….and I go there a lot. No way this happens with any frequency. No mention of it on their website - just says open 24/7

I’ve been asked to film many times - usually when I’m getting my dick sucked bc I’m well-endowed. No bigger turn-off in the moment, yet some insist. It’s so fucking boring it’s beyond words. If I wanted to film, I’d have OF. I’ve also had people film me without my consent - yes, it can be done if the person is clever & deceitful.

political corruption & inevitable political instability by those seeking to retain power and influence at all costs are the undoing of many countries. Categorizing it as left or right is just lazy - it's seldom about ideology, although that is what they feed the masses to justify their actions.

the concept of tipping is wildly out-of-control in the US. for professional services, tipping was always a discretionary add-on for someone that did not get compensated for the full fee paid. example - I go to a barber who doesn’t own the shop. The shop takes a cut of the service fee paid & my tip brings the compensation in line within the total fee paid. It was not customary to tip the owner of the shop because they get the full fee paid. Servers in restaurants is something different altogether because they typically make hourly wages far below minimum wage and it is customary to always tip 15-20% for satisfactory service in the US - more than 20% if the service is outstanding. for US based providers where they are running their own business and realize all of the fee in cash and charge $250-$350 per hour, I’m not sure where the expectation of tips comes in. I frequently tip providers if the service is outstanding, or they come short-notice or they stay beyond the booked time. I don’t normally tip if the time is one-hour and the service is basic or average. If a provider needs more money to make the transaction worthwhile, then just charge a higher hourly rate. Much better to be straightforward and transparent vs some unwritten vague rule/expectation that may lead to disappointment. Europe & Japan are much more civilized where tipping is not a thing and the prices are based upon wages that fairly compensate the workers. Tipping there is the exception rather than the rule.

when I book a hotel, I agree to their rules and there is a stated check-out time, ALWAYS. if they allow me a late check-out, that’s a courtesy on their end & it’s not something that’s expected by me. this argument about late check-outs is ridiculous in the provider context - how would a provider feel if I booked for one hour yet expected the provider to stay longer just because they don’t have another appointment booked ? if someone doesn’t like a hotels policy or business model - then don’t stay in that specific hotel or hotels in general. btw - including comments about race/ethnicity where it is unnecessary is casual racism any way you cut it. and if you’re in a hotel with people coming & going to your room - the hotels & staff know exactly what you’re doing. they’ve seen it all many times. they might want someone out based on that fact alone. the hard truth of that situation is many hotels and their owners just don’t want providers operating on their premises.

not cyber-bullying the OP comes here regularly posting his ongoing complaints about his chosen profession & he knows the type of responses he will get. My sense is at this point is he wants attention, not a solution to his issues. the other members continue to post mostly helpful suggestions, but also know that the OP won’t take any of their suggestions. they are participants in the back/forth that they know will go nowhere. you guys may as well just go back to the deposit thing again and beat that dead horse one more time.

If the expectations are clearly discussed & the provider agrees, then that’s one thing. I’m not quite sure how they would go about manufacturing desire when there isn’t any - but some providers must be better actors than others. Seems like a lot to put upon someone being hired for an hour or two. we’re all different & hire for different reasons. I like to keep it simple & hire for sex only. I expect the provider to be on-time, polite/pleasant & able to perform. That’s it. Looking back on my years of hiring, I’ve had an overwhelming ratio of very positive & satisfactory experiences. And I think it’s mainly because my expectations are simple & I clearly communicate what I want from the provider - there is no confusion. The upside is that makes me an easy & dependable client where the providers will always come back. Simple is good btw - I prefer they take ED meds….because why not ??

agree. this seems to be the continuing self-inflicted mindfuck that some clients appear to be fixated on. They want to feel “desired” by the provider, whom they are paying for their company. Thus, the comments here & there “I don’t need to pay for it” - meaning I’m still desirable. “paying for it” has no correlation to being desirable or not. It’s about convenience & getting exactly what you want & when you want it. ever notice how many super famous celebrities prefer paid for companionship? It’s not for lack of options re: providers using whatever to enhance their performance - it’s the same thing as if I have surgery scheduled and the doctor needs his glasses to see. some of the things clients get in their heads about providers never ceases to surprise me - those guys have a very difficult job just dealing with the clients mental state & expectations

And just when you thought homelessness and all of the attendant problems were only issues in the big cities - get ready, because it’s going nationwide from todays Wall Street Journal Midsize Cities Struggle With Snowballing Homelessness Grand Rapids, Mich., enacted ordinances and pumped money into housing and resources as numbers keep rising nationwide Read in The Wall Street Journal: https://apple.news/ALOX56Kz2Sua2B7i2iCT6SQ Shared from Apple News

some specialize in bait - particularly when they start threads specifically asking for “thoughts”, then they get aggressive when the thoughts don’t line up with their opinions

this seems to be at core of OPs issue. He’s taking it all personally, when the described issues are endemic to the profession & other service based businesses. In the end, it’s a numbers game with known issues that successful providers figure out how to mitigate to the point of non-issue. It’s that simple

I feel like some providers prefer no electronic trail on RM so reviews cannot be verified. RM will not post a client review unless they see provider/client contact through their site.

32 - 45 is the sweet spot. I like men. subject to change tho because I don’t really sort by age - the young ones usually fall out for some other reason

it feels like there is more to this story. a guest from a hookup app doesn’t mix drinks for the host. a provider from RM is far more likely to mix drinks for the client. And we know the thief was/is an active provider on RM I’d say this was a paid encounter, not Grindr. As mentioned - I don’t think it makes a difference other than if the victim lied to police about circumstances. if he lied about it - it will come back to bite him because now his entire version of events are suspect. once the victim is caught in a lie then any future statements in court or otherwise will be ripped apart by thief’s public defender. That’s how it works the thief will say the victim was using drugs and he passed-out of his own accord, so he gets off on the drugging charges he might get off on robbery & extortion charges as well because it will be very difficult for victim to press charges knowing everything he says will be now viewed in context of lying about how he met the thief. it won’t be comfortable for victim at that point & many similar cases closed in this way. fyi - the pic of the victims building in the news looks nice & full service, meaning cameras and doorman. that didn’t stop the thief

unless you've been living under a rock for the last 40 years. Yes, seriously You don't need to like her or her music to acknowledge her influence & activism and I’m not a huge fan of the music - there’s a difference: Madonna the artist vs Madonna as a cultural force to deny it is ridiculous - read the NYT piece, it’s all there

This is an excellent NYT piece re: Madonna’s cultural influence & activism - well worth the read if you haven’t seen it https://www.nytimes.com/2023/08/15/opinion/madonna-career.html?smid=nytcore-ios-share&referringSource=articleShare Take a Bow, Madonna

most of us have grown up w Madonna always there. She’s been a public figure for decades. As gay men, I think most of appreciate her very public positions always in favor of & working on behalf of our causes. Very few celebrities of her stature can claim the same legacy. That said, in a way we feel like we know her almost as relative because we’ve seen her life through all life stages, marriages, breakups, children, success, public adulation/revulsion. And like a sister, if I’m being honest…..love/hate her at times for whatever her latest antics. She’s been adored for her beauty, sex-appeal & glamour - it can’t be easy when age catches up and all the money in the world doesn’t stop the aging process. who can blame her for trying to keep it going just a bit longer ? She will be remembered as one of the most brilliant ground-breaking entertainers ever. Thats Madonna. How Madonna became the queen of all queens WWW.INDEPENDENT.CO.UK Never afraid of talking about sex, Madonna changed the way people perceived gay sex and vastly improved the lives of those having it by campaigning to publicise...

I agree with you. Especially in your own home & the guest is making the drinks as noted in this story - no way. however - the bigger point is once someone is inside your home & is intent on doing harm, it’s gonna happen & not going to end well. Drugging seems to be the preferred method tho in these type robberies….gives them plenty of time to thoroughly rob & hack. I much prefer hotels where it’s my room & I can control it to a degree with everything locked in the safe. In that case, I tell the provider I have friends on same floor and limited time because meeting them for drinks/dinner. Second choice is providers hotel room or home. I only invite people to my home I’ve known for a long time - never strangers. There are a lot more of these type crimes that we never hear about - way more common than people think. Super easy from the criminals pov - they’re being invited in. Also - you should never have any financial apps on phone/tablet that open with facial recognition or fingerprint. Once you’re unconscious they can get into anything FYI - the RM profile is still up & says AVAILABLE NOW. unbelievable

thank you for posting this thread & information. excellent catch. If this guy hadn’t posted face pics on his RM profile - he would still be doing the exact same thing without anyone knowing. I cannot believe they release people on bond for crimes like this. He could have killed the guy by drugging him that way. btw - “meeting the guy on Grindr” is the typical story given when it’s really a paid encounter. I’m not sure it makes any difference tho.

one more thing to consider - lots of victims of these type crimes do not report to police. they’re embarrassed & afraid. I’ll bet this was not the first time this guy did this to unsuspecting clients and/or app hookups. The crime is too brazen & methodical for the first time. He was on RM in Miami with the old profile for at least 6-8 months before he changed it in July 23. One more reason to be extremely careful who is hired and who enters the home. My first scan of provider profiles when considering someone new is to take out the red flag profiles for personal safety reasons alone. This guy didn’t have any red flags & had good reviews on RM, nothing negative. I think the the reason I didn’t hire him is because I thought he looked like a tweaker in some of the pics (the pics in the old profile were different & more conservative looking……but still there was something off in the eyes) and maybe there was drug use …..lt was just a gut feeling and now I feel like I dodged a bullet. Reality check ✔️