Simon Suraci

I’m looking for a male escort to join myself, two other hired men I regularly work with, and my client for a group session at my client’s place. Please give me your best overall experience recommendations for men currently based and active in San Diego. Looks, body type, and sexual position are unimportant. His rate should be around $300/hr. He needs to possess the following qualities: 1) reliable 2) adaptable 3) patient 4) professional 5) works well in groups

That’s what it is here in San Diego. It’s really not that much different across the continental USA. Maybe slightly less in some markets, more in the $250 range. The biggest variability is in large, high cost of living metro areas. Boston is pricey. Not NYC pricey, but it’s not Omaha either. $350/hr (or more) is the nearby LA market right now. $350 is on the steeper side for SD. Some of my peers command that price and get it, but we do more work at the $300/hr range. There are always exceptions charging $400+ but those are mostly travelers from other high price markets and I question how much business they are doing at that range - at least here in SD. I asked a local escort buddy recently what he charges for overnights. He just did one in Long Beach for his standard ON rate: $2k. I was surprised because I thought I was overcharging at $2k thinking $1k-$1.5k was closer to standard for ON services, with $1k being quite low. I guess a lot more of my peers are charging $2k than I thought. My definition of an overnight, by the way, is baseline 12 hours, with plenty of room to negotiate longer or shorter depending on the client’s needs. 6hrs is hardly an overnight, IMHO, but that’s a discussion to continue on the thread already dedicated to the topic of overnights. ^This. US rates would be way lower if we had similar laws and cultural norms as Europe. But we don’t. We’re a bunch of horny puritans 🤷‍♂️ ^ Quick note here: he’s doing it for the $, not the stuff or experiences you buy during your time together. Those things are ultimately for the CLIENT’S benefit because they facilitate a better experience for the client. Wining and dining can be enjoyable for sure, but make no mistake: Food, beverages, entertainment, clothes, fancy hotels, or any client expense for that matter - does NOT factor into your hired man’s compensation. We don’t charge less because you bought us a nice jacket or a steak. $ is what we need to pay our bills. That’s why we do the work. Steak won’t pay for our car insurance. Having a good connection with the client or genuinely enjoying a nice cocktail with him is just a nice bonus. There, I’ve said my peace. Until the next time this particular point comes up in a thread.

One of my regular massage clients sends me Zelle payments. Most of the time the transfers are instant. Once in a while it takes hours for the payment to process and for me to receive it. Looks like this client is intentionally scamming you though.

My approach is to charge the same no matter the city. Some cities are too expensive for me to make a decent profit after accommodations overhead, so I don’t visit them 🤷‍♂️ Clients don’t like different prices for one city vs another.

Large cities like DC are expensive. Don’t see your favorite provider passing through regularly? That may be partly why. You can’t please everyone. Clients hate downtowns even though they’re geographically central to most cities, and therefore the most convenient (by distance) to the greatest number of people. I stay away. On paper it makes sense but the reality is clients don’t like downtown locations. Unless you’re in NYC. Go too far out away from a downtown area in any single direction and you’re not convenient enough to half or more of a given city. That leaves a narrow band of areas close to, but not in core central business districts. Go a few blocks in one direction or another within a somewhat central area outside of a downtown and clients clutch their pearls in response to the neighborhood. We can’t win no matter where we stay. The options are: 1) stay somewhere expensive i.e. “convenient”, “safe”, “nice”, “plentiful free parking”….and take on a low profit position. Basically work for less net $ than you normally make. Great for clients. Makes little business sense for providers. 2) stay somewhere expensive like in the option above, but charge a premium for it to make the profit commensurate with the overhead, and risk clients not booking you at all because of the price tag. 3) keep prices the same but stay in a location somewhat less convenient to some of the clients in your travel city metro area. A lot of us take this option. Some clients are totally fine with it. Some are put off. Can’t please everyone, so we write off those we can’t please. The tradeoff to option 3 is scaring away a few high maintenance clients who want all the convenience of #1 but don’t want to pay the cost of #2, and are too cheap to spend money on their own transportation for #3. I write these clients off. This is a business. We need to make money for trips to expensive cities to make sense. Firstly, ask your provider which neighborhood he is staying in before setting an appointment. Not his address. The neighborhood is sufficient for planning purposes. If the exact neighborhood or number of miles (or blocks) is a dealbreaker for you, better to know up front. Some clients are way too sensitive about these things. Others are more realistic. You, the client, have two options: A) take responsibility for getting to/from an easily drivable distance, perhaps under 5 or even 10 miles, whether that be a ride share or other means, or B) request an outcall to your location and be willing to pay a reasonable premium for the trouble you yourself place on your own time and money getting to him, except it’s the other way around for him to shoulder that cost getting to you. Anyone that can’t handle the above has no business hiring a traveling provider. $25-30 is what it costs to get anywhere using a rideshare in an expensive city! Get over it, find alternate means of transportation, or don’t hire.

So it DOES have something to do with new policies regarding adult content!

@IronMaus I bit the bullet, applied, and was approved for a MC last month. I got the digital card info from my financial institution and paid my membership dues that same day. Try applying for a MC. I was embarrassed but asked a trusted client before that to help me out temporarily while I apply and wait for the card to arrive. He doesn’t use MC so I was SOL until I figured this out myself and got back on track, albeit with a CC I didn’t want or need. It is what it is. We can’t put our livelihoods on hold while RM maybe…might…eventually accept Visa ever again. It sucks.

I’m booked at InnDulge 4/7-4/14. Looking forward to the festivities already!

Thanks for posting the clip @BuffaloKyleI’d like to hear from processors what Visa’s “exclusive network” demands are, and what fees they impose for processors not being exclusive to Visa. Or, putting it differently, what discounts they may offer to use Visa exclusively. In my mind, there is a difference between offering a discount for going exclusive, vs charging more than their competitors for NOT being exclusive. One is an incentive, which is better, but still problematic because they are exploiting their monopoly position to accelerate their growing market share. The other is a penalty. Visa knows they have monopoly leverage when 60% of consumer payments are through Visa. I am a merchant. I accept CC payments but it’s through a third party processor, so I have no say over which cards I can accept. The only choice I have is which third party processor to use, which can change their policies at any time for any reason. My system is Booksy, which processes through Stripe. Stripe competes with Square and others. Stripe would be negotiating fees with Visa and passing that cost onto me, which I then either choose to eat or pass on to my clients via higher prices or apply processing fees to clients using digital payments. I eat it. We’re talking 2.5% to 3.5% +/- depending on which payment processor.

I’d like to learn more. @BiGuyNola will you cite a source or post a link? Visa is obviously huge and widely accepted in the US, but not a monopoly. Amex, MC, Discover, and others compete freely with Visa. Some businesses like Costco do not accept Amex. I’ve wondered if it has to do with contract negotiations or simply Amex charging more fees to the vendor than Visa. Almost anywhere that accepts Visa also accepts MC, among others. If the issue is monopoly bullying for more favorable terms with RM, why are we not hearing about the same thing happening with other companies? Surely RM isn’t the only one they would be targeting to boost revenue or strongarm for more favorable contract terms. My hunch is there’s an issue with Visa appearing as though they are encouraging, promoting, or facilitating illicit commercial activity. Why this wouldn’t also apply to MC beats me. My other hunch is RM sees the writing on the wall and is thinking ahead, not to if - but when - they can no longer accept CC payments due to some policy, law, or lawsuit ruling preventing them from doing so. I assume that’s why they are pushing crypto. I still don’t understand why that would be a viable solution, however. Crypto is so easily traceable. Law enforcement regularly uses crypto data to sniff out crime.

18-22 is prime twink phase. Sometime between 22 and 28 metamorphosis ages him out, most often by 24-25. A lot of men look their best in their early years before they gain muscle, fat, and adult life experience. It takes so little effort to look good at this age range and they take it for granted. That’s part of the appeal, I suppose. Personally, I prefer the look and moreso the maturity of a man past his twink phase. Clients often complain here about twinks citing: 1) lack of communication skills 2) lack of communication period 3) fragile gen z sensibilities 4) lack of business skills 5) lack of social skills, tact 6) general cluelessness 7) flakiness 😎 lack of attention span 9) immaturity 10) lack of patience, respect etc, etc. These are all qualities that, for most guys, tend to improve over their adult lives. Especially so with more years of experience in the business. You will have a much easier and more pleasant time with an experienced (older) provider, but he likely won’t look like a twink or have the innocent charm of a twink. The Venn diagram overlap of an experienced professional and a guy who looks like he’s 18-22yo is very slim. You rarely will find the two qualities together in the same provider. When you do, it only lasts a short time as his looks transition rapidly out of twink phase. Personality and character continue on, but looks don’t. …So don’t be shocked when you reach out to a twink expecting him to respond right away (or at all). You’re trading one thing for another. You can’t have both. You have to decide if it’s ultimately more important to you that your provider look like he’s very young, or be a better provider in general. Not all twinks are bad providers per se, but most are because they lack the life experience and the business experience necessary to do a good job. It’s not his fault. Everything comes with time. You may have to put up with doing a lot of handholding, his entitlement, his immaturity, finding alternate means of contacting or finding these guys, and using different communication styles. It’s more work on your part, but that’s what you need to do to engage twinks, whether you’re hiring or simply hooking up. The seasoned professional knows how to handle himself. He’s easy to work with, easy to communicate with, and does a stellar job because he knows what he’s doing. BUT he’s almost certainly over 28 years old, and probably well into his 30s by the time he hits his stride. Consider your options carefully, boys. You can’t have it all.

Some escorts don’t really seem to get this point. Sex is an important client need to meet, but it may not be the primary or only need. Sometimes you don’t even need to offer sex for the client to realize a great value from hiring an “escort”. Traditionally, escorting was exactly that - accompanying a client for the purposes of companionship. The guys who can’t or won’t provide these services aren’t truly ‘escorts’, just sex workers. Nothing wrong with being a sex worker, by the way. There’s often some level of overlap. One of my clients likes to hire me for platonic time together swimming in his apartment complex pool, having conversation, checking out other guys together, and general hanging out time. He loves it and I charge him less than my full escort rate but not by a lot, because my time is my biggest asset, regardless of what I am doing with it or the level of effort involved. He’s happy to pay it because he values the service as much as I value my time. I don’t care if someone is spoon feeding me caviar on a yacht. It’s time I am spending making money no matter how much or how little I am enjoying myself, no matter how fancy or humble the scenario. My job is to be good company to those who hire me. That’s priority #1. The value I am getting and the reason I am there with a client in any scenario is to make money. I can lift my own spoon and buy my own drinks at my own preferred destination with my own money on my own time, without being beholden to anyone for anything. I wouldn’t take off on a paid for vacation with a client if all I was getting was the “experience”. I still have to pay my bills and I can’t do that when I’m not spending time earning my typical rates. I think it’s important for clients to keep this in mind when they hire for fancy trips thinking some or most of the value they are providing to the escort is the things they are paying for besides his fee. The fee is still very important. All of those extra things may be nice, but they are ultimately to facilitate an experience for the benefit of the client himself. My recently widowed neighbor brings her masseuse on several extravagant vacations with her throughout the year, all expenses paid. The masseuse is not doing massage on these trips either. It’s platonic companionship only and they share a room. I think my neighbor is a lesbian but hasn’t come out after decades of straight marriage. Just my take. Anyway, I wonder how her masseuse manages to keep up with her finances because those trips may be lovely and fun and enjoyable for her, but she still has to pay for her regular monthly expenses that aren’t accounted for on the trips, like insurance, medical care, rent/mortgage, etc which don’t pause when you go on vacation. When she’s not working, she’s not earning. She may enjoy staying in 5-star hotels, but she’s sacrificing her income for the sake of her client’s pleasure by attending and providing companionship for free. In my opinion, she really should be paid something. All said, rates for companionship tend to be negotiable much moreso than sex work rates. Propose something to an escort you like and trust. Lay out your expectations and wants. Maybe he will accept, maybe he will counter. You should be able to find a mutually agreeable arrangement. The seasoned professional will be able to hold his own, maintain appropriate boundaries, and show you an amazing time, with or without any sex. One of my clients here on CoM proposed we go out to dinner this summer after a romp in the sheets. I told him he can hire me for my time for the dinner if he likes (I quoted him a much lower rate for that part than the romp), and that I would oblige him for free if I had nobody booking me after him. He would need to hire me though if he wanted me to reserve the time for him. He agreed to play it by ear in case my evening ended up remaining free after him. Lo and behold, as the date approached, another client booked a time with me right after the first client’s time. It makes more financial sense for me to take the second client at my full rate, so I told the first client that I was booked and wouldn’t be able to accompany him to dinner after our paid time. I like the first client and would have enjoyed the dinner with him unpaid, but it makes no sense for me to turn down a full rate client in favor of a freebie or reduced rate dinner date. So that’s what I did: I took the second client and declined the dinner.

I pulled the 30 min option from my menu, but I have offered it in the past and may in the future. I charged $80. It’s great for lunch breaks, guys that want to sample my work, or quite honestly, just want to get off without paying for a full hour. Most really appreciate the work though. The HE may only be 5 mins of the session. I do an excellent 30 min leg routine. Here is my service description: Massage - 30 min Limited time to focus only on the upper body, lower body, or specifics like neck and shoulders. Great for those who want to target one area of their body or sample my work at a lower cost. 60, 90, and 120 min massages offer a better value, but sometimes a quick massage is all you need.

The answer to this perennial question is: “It depends on the masseur. Ask him.” Prices change over time. Whatever was typical in 2016 in a given market is going to be higher in 2024, especially after the crazy post covid economy wide inflation phenomenon. These are just my opinions. Take them with a grain of salt. With that said, and considering our local market, I’d say therapeutic only is in the range of $120-140/hr, $140 being high, and $125/hr being reasonable and typical. Some guys offer therapeutic only service at $80-100/hr, which I feel is quite low. Sensual and erotic territory I’d say is in the neighborhood of $130-$180, with $130 being quite low and $180 being quite high. $140-$160 is a good sweet spot (in my opinion, in 2024) for massages that include plenty of legit therapeutic work plus some sensual and/or erotic elements. That wide price range 130-180 gives a lot of room for more or less of the sensual and erotic stuff, such as some of the following: client undraped, masseur in underwear or fully nude, mutual touch is allowed including genital areas (the client’s and/or the masseur’s), body to body contact (more than just the masseur’s hands/arms), erogenous zones play such as nipples (varies by client), long flowing sensual full body strokes, maybe some prostate play if the client wants it, and a happy ending. In that range, almost all of them will provide a happy ending at a minimum. As for the rest, it varies widely. Some of your masseurs in this range will do more, such as perform oral, rimming, kissing etc. I really would not expect it though and you should be tipping generously when he does. If he provides full service anal sex, you really should be paying him $300/hr. These activities are all on the escort end of the spectrum and you shouldn’t expect them for essentially half price. Some of your masseurs will do only a couple items on the list, and that’s ok. It’s totally fair for this mid 100s price range IMHO. The list of activities is not exhaustive, by the way, just a sample. $180-200/hr you don’t see very often, for any services, be them therapeutic, sensual, erotic, or any combination. Just my observation. Above $200/hr and you’re into the low rate escort service range, which is always tricky because it’s high for services that exclude oral/anal, fetish, bdsm, vanilla cuddling/kissing, [fill in the blank any sexual service], etc., but too low for traditional full service oral/anal [or fill in the blank] sexual services. Those would be $250/hr on the low end and more typically be in the $300/hr range for most places in the US and higher in some US metro markets $350+. My personal view is the $200/hr-$250/hr range is a gray no-go zone (which will change in years to come as prices slowly rise). This range is too low for escort service and too high for sensual/erotic massage service. The way I see it, the client is going to be disappointed with receiving less than what he may feel entitled to for such a high price, or the masseur will feel like he is providing way more than he should for that price. Either way, someone is giving or receiving too much. I suggest to clients for whom erotic and sensual elements are very important: discuss activities with your masseurs beforehand to ensure you’re getting what you want and expect. If he is unwilling to put it in writing (which is perfectly reasonable btw), ask for a brief phone call to discuss. This goes for the more typical rates in the mid $100s/hr, but most of those guys are going to be providing an appropriate range of services for the rates they’re charging. I especially encourage clients to do this process for massage services totaling between $180-$250/hr. That’s where a lot of the mismatch happens.

Agree on Tim. I had a not so great experience with him. Poor massage skills. Attractive guy in person though.

Same here, Michael and Grant are on my list to try. Robert in Mission Valley is excellent. He’s straight. Strictly therapeutic, draped, him fully clothed, which is all fine by me. His waitlist is the only way to book him. Massage by Robert: Massage San Diego WWW.MASSAGEBYROBERT.COM I am a massage therapist in San Diego speacializing in clinical massage. Massage by Robert is located at 2525...

I won’t charge a fee to view nudes. Plenty of other guys will share theirs freely, so you’re turning away quite a lot of potential business. The pay wall issue is not just about money; it’s about convenience. The client wants to know: How easy is this provider to work with? They also want to know what they’re getting, and if they can’t, they wonder what the provider feels he has to hide. At the same time, if the client can’t ascertain if they want to hire me with a few pictures of my whole body from front to back, including being hard, etc. I know from experience they’re only looking to waste my time getting some form of free fantasy entertainment. Same goes for extended detailed discussions about the session and what will happen “what will you do to me?”, “tell me more”, etc. I have to cut those off. I don’t mind confirming what I am able and willing to provide for the client, but I’m not a free phone sex / sexting service.

If I must do fast food out of convenience, or to satisfy a craving, my go-to is my local drive-thru fast food taco chain, TJ Tacos. They have the *best* adobada fries. I order there a few times a year. Second choice, for once in a great while…In-N-Out! My order: (2) Double Doubles, protein style, no onion, no spread. No fries, drink, or anything else besides water. The spread makes me get sick.

Thanks. I actually don’t have much of a problem finding accommodations when I travel, for which I allocate double the budget per night than my local rentals. My issue is finding the right fit in San Diego where I work about 2/3 of the year. The residential market is very tight, not much available, so I’m considering alternative, out of the box solutions. MrBnB has fewer, and often more expensive listings than other platforms, but it can be a good resource depending on the city. For many reasons, I stick to renting a whole unit, nothing shared. For now, I rented a 125 sf windowless treatment room in an office building. Moved in today. You have to walk through a small lobby in a suite to access the room. Cameras monitor the lobby comings and goings, which is necessary, but not great for client comfort or discretion. I share one wall with a psychotherapist and one wall with the lobby. Several other rooms make up the suite which can each be rented by the hour, half day, day, week, or month. For acoustical privacy, I’m installing some treatments on the shared walls and gasketing around the entry door frame. Also a sound machine. I’ll have to cart laundry in and out and spend extra time doing laundry every day. I’m not thrilled about the new digs, but it will have to do temporarily while I continue my search for the “real” space. The “real” space needs a full bathroom in the unit with a decent shower, full size washer and dryer, space for a queen bed, space for a massage table, at least a minimal amount of storage, and convenient, reliable - if not dedicated - parking. Ideally no shared walls, or if shared, gapped double stud demising walls, and concrete construction ie no squeaking, bumping, voices or other noises traveling through wood construction floors above or below. Nothing kills a good massage or escort session like the sound of noisy residential neighbors. I know, I am very picky about all these criteria. I care about my clients, their privacy, convenience, and delivering a quality experience.

Thanks @robear. I have stayed in Sonder accommodations before, for a personal trip. Good tip.

I travel for parts of the year. I charge the same as I do at home and offer the same services. This is a common assumption that masseurs charge more or offer less, but only sometimes true of traveling providers. I make a profit by doing more volume, on average, when traveling than I do in my local market. The scarcity of how long I am staying in a given city creates a sense of urgency which motivates clients to book me knowing they have only a short window to see me. This urgency fills up my schedule and drives revenue. It’s a lot of work, by the way. It’s exhausting. I test a new market by staying for a few days, occasionally only one day, maybe a week if I’m willing to risk a big loss, just to see how much demand there is for my services. I return to places where I stay the most busy and skip places proving to be less busy. I also factor in my expenses (including the largest of those: accommodations) and offset my revenue to compare net income apples to apples in different markets. That bottom line comparison drives my travel decisions. I’m unlikely to visit Manhattan, Chicago, LA, or other large cities for that reason. I would basically have to work for less net profit than I earn in my local market. Since I’m unwilling to increase prices as some form of tax for an expensive local rental market, it makes little business sense for me to visit those places. My long game is to develop repeat client relationships in the markets I do the best in, and keep visiting those as much as I can without neglecting my local client base too much. By focusing on delivering quality service, I’m investing in my clients by demonstrating my value. They in turn want to see me again. My strategy gradually increases my productivity on each successive visit, and word gets around too. As for the short term strategy guys, yes plenty of them are delivering subpar service and/or overcharging because they have no interest in doing this work long term. For all they know, they may never see a given client again. They extract as much money as they can from a single visit knowing full well the client may never book them again. It’s sad, but true. Not all of us are like that, though. Some of us truly strive to deliver excellent service at a reasonable price. As for the sensual / erotic discussion, I’ll say what I always say in related topics: be upfront about your needs and expectations. Value your masseurs and escorts and compensate them appropriately for the services they are providing.

Yup, gone. He was in Columbus for a while saying he was only going to be available there a couple more months. I reached out to him on behalf of one of my clients. Crickets, no response whatsoever. Maybe he’s retiring or doing different work now.

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The classic solution is to work out of your own residential home / apartment / condo / etc, and I’ve done that in other cities with success. However, you need to have the right setup, live alone, and be situated in a location convenient to most of your clients. In San Diego, I have none of those things going for me; I live with my partner, in an area way outside of my typical client travel radius, and lack privacy at my house because of nosy neighbors, lack of separate dedicated space available, and other practical concerns. So, I have been renting residential units in more central areas to my client base and commuting on a daily basis. While all of this is quite expensive and annoying, it’s necessary for me to operate. Moving to a central area is not really an option for many reasons. Since I’m planning on more regular work travel, I am hoping to find a solution that saves me money while I’m working out of town. Any ideas for masseur and sex worker friendly housing / work spaces? Here’s what I’ve already considered: The short term rental market such as AirBnB, VRBO, and others is one way to go about it. I found monthly rental listings in my price range, but the options are quite slim. Otherwise it’s a perfect solution. Extended stay type hotels are less costly than standard hotels, but still almost double or more than what my budget can handle. Plus you may or may not get in-unit laundry, depending on which hotel brand. In unit laundry is essential to my business. Dayuse hotel stays are too short term for my purposes. I need to set up for all day and evening, some mornings, multiple days at a time. Dayuse can work for the occasional escort client that wants to pay for it in addition to my rate, but the cost is prohibitive for me to be profitable. Most clients aren’t willing to pay that extra cost, even if I arrange it for them (not to mention it puts me at financial risk when they flake). The typical sublet situation almost always lacks privacy, like it’s a room with shared common space (non-starter), or a unit in the rear of someone’s house, or above their garage, or somewhere that other tenants and/or the owner clearly sees the comings and goings, which is a problem. Apartments can work, but they’re less than ideal because most lack convenient reliable parking, and wood frame construction has neighbor noise from below the floor, above the ceiling, and side to side through the walls. Units in concrete high rise construction are more private, but typically too expensive. Housing aggregators like HotPads, and others like Craigslist show few appropriate options for short or long term rentals. I’m now looking at a co-working space for wellness professionals. You can rent treatment rooms by the hour, partial day, day, multiple days a week, by the week, or by month. The flexibility is awesome and it’s quite affordable. The setup is a suite in an office building and within the suite is a lobby and hallway you share with other wellness professionals. Not the most ideal from a privacy perspective, but the space is designed for clients to be coming and going all day, so all good there. Now the drawbacks. Bathrooms are public outside the suite, and no showers. No laundry, either shared or in the treatment rooms. I would have a sink in the treatment room, but no private bath or shower is a major drawback. I can’t exactly set up a bed in the space, firstly due to lack of space, but secondly because it would be inappropriate, and not private enough for such activities (some clients are way too loud!). I could offer massage, but not escort services. That cuts off an important percentage of my income. Co-working solves some problems, but not others. Any other ideas for types of places to rent, or sites or apps to use to find appropriate in all accommodations for massage and escort work?