purplekow

4 hours ago, Vin_Marco said:

I'll just say this... I consider you a full-fledged ethicist so I can see why number 2 would be tough. I would say 99.999% of the time you know what to do and that's probably a very good thing considering your chosen profession.

In actuality Number 3 is the most difficult for me but I am working on getting better at asking for help mainly because as I get older, I actually need more help.  Number 2 was never uttered in my household.  #1 is jtough.  #4 I am reasonably good with saying.  As far as Worcestershire sauce. Tried it.  Didn't like it. So, Never use it never will.  

On 11/19/2023 at 3:07 PM, Vin_Marco said:

#5 by a long shot! 

One through 4 are all tied and equally difficult for me but Worcestershire sauce is #1.   

37 minutes ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

38 minutes ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

 

As I said (that you left out in the part you quoted), “regardless of ethnic background”. Also notice that I didn’t specifically say that YOU have White privilege, I meant it as a general statement of privilege all together. I’m also aware that in California, especially SoCal: even Hispanic/Latinos experience a different level of privilege. That’s why I posted that article that I did, I hope you did read it? If not, I can easily find another:

In California’s largest race bias cases, Latino workers are accused of abusing Black colleagues

WWW.LATIMES.COM

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...

 

 

 

 

So, all I’m asking is everyone to please stop gaslighting me into believing asking deposits is some sort of downfall move, and I’m doomed to lose business. I’ve done majority of my career (since 2008) without deposits, and within the last 3-4 years with deposits. 2 years ago I brought a new laptop (you can’t build a website with an iPhone) and vowed I would start being more serious and start asking nominal deposits. It’s not like I just rolled outta bed. I put the work into making it happen. I spent like a week learning how to build even a basic website, strategizing how much my deposit should be, and then making sure I know I can LIVE UP TO the commitment of doing so.

You know the best way to have people offering you what they feel is good advice that you don't want? Stop trying to convince people they are wrong,  and you are right.  Continue to do what you are doing.  Continue to stew about how it is not working but stop talking about it with the expectation of  a tsunami of support.  You are not going to get it. 

Telling Vin he is privileged, is absolutely correct.  He is privileged to have learned how to promote himself and his business.  He is privileged to be extremely client friendly.  He is privileged to offer a premier service stripped down to the basics.  He is ;privileged in that he goes about his business uncomplainingly and professionally.  He is privileged to know how to keep the small things small.   He is privileged to have a loyal clientele who are loyal because they feel privileged to know him.  

 I have been with him when he was speaking with the owner of a diner.  The owner asked if he was Greek and he said no.  He then asked if he was Brazilian and Vin said no.  The owner then asked, well then what are you.  He said that he was Mexican.  The owner looked disgusted and said OH and ended the conversation.  I was infuriated but he laughed at the ignorance.  He made the small slight stay small.  He prevented the small man from gaining any power over him.  

Keep venting here about these issues if you like, but don't expect the people here to change their minds about this deposit issue.  Don't expect them to kowtow to you request to be leave your posts unanswered.  If you do not want the answers, do not put forth the topic.

BTW, we met in PS and I found you charming and funny and very personable.  Try using those privileges in your business to a greater extent and at some point perhaps you can find some peace in your work.  Good luck to you.  

I fail to understand the issue any longer:

You may ask for a deposit.

The client can refuse.

End stop.  

Badgering the client is not going to change his mind or at the best it places the visit on an adversarial basis.  So continue to ask and continue to get a certain percentage of rejections and stop wondering why or don't ask.  

14 minutes ago, BenjaminNicholas said:

I've been getting my Ozempic compounded by a local pharmacy who also mixes in strawberry flavoring.

It's absolutely delicious.

Rybelsus is the oral form of semaglutide.  Ozempic is the injectable so no flavoring needed.   I would consider asking your compounder about bubblegum flavor.   

On 11/18/2023 at 4:10 PM, wsc said:

Stop saying cut it off before someone actually does; this whole thing could get ugly.

I'd love to know what Dear Abby thinks about this, but I assume that when she read the original post, she fainted. This is an unfortunate mess, with no one at fault, and a rare case of two rights making a wrong. I'll adopt a rule that if it smells icky, and looks icky, and sounds icky, it's probably icky. So, walk away before icky gets sticky. 

BTW, will father and son see each other at Thanksgiving? I'd like to buy a seat for that.

I am assuming that as the OP asked the question, the easy solution of dumping one or the other or both is kind of off the table.  Otherwise just pick the flavor you like the most and end the situation with the other.  The main reason for asking it would seem to me is that he wants to keep things going with both.  

On 11/18/2023 at 2:27 PM, purplekow said:

Doing the "right" thing and doing what is right for oneself frequently are two different things.  

OP could always opt for the bold thing and tell his long time FB  that he enjoys the FB's son and OP wishes to continue to see him and his son and it is the FB's choice to continue their relationship or not.  He could also tell the son, I know your father and if that is a problem then the decision is yours to make.  IF the son asks how the OP knows his father, he should tell him he needs to speak to his father about that.  Everything is out in the open and everyone can make his own choice and not make choices for others.  Ah the drama of it all.  

But before any of this, the OP needs to contact Bravo with a treatment for this.   I would go with either

All in the Family or Not.  

 Family Matters or Does it.  

Family Ties and Unties  

Family Affair  ??? 

Family Feud   

Sanford and Son (Names have been changed to protect the Guilty)

Son of Anarchy

Friends  With Benefits

Yours Mine but Not Ours

 

On 10/17/2023 at 3:12 AM, Phil Wagner said:

So I’ve been running into a lot of people clients trying to book me but they live a state or two away. I ask them for a simple donation of $50 to insure that the booking is legit and not a waste of time and fake. I’ve gotten replies like, “I don’t send deposits anymore because I’ve been burnt too many times by previous guys who never showed up and just took my money” or “ I don’t feel comfortable sending money to someone I haven’t met yet.” I get it, but why should I be punished for other people’s miscues and their issues with other people that doesn’t involve me? If they were in my position they would ask the same thing. I mean who would drive states away without some kind of instance policy to make the appointment secure. Not to mention the travel costs. Am I doing something wrong by asking a client to put up $50 to make it legit? Can someone help me understand this….

You assume the risk of a no show client because clients are afraid of no show escorts.  If you are not satisfied with that risk, don't take it and don't book the appointment.   Two states away seems a bit of a risky booking in any case.   You might try asking them to come to you.

Wegovy seems to have about the same effect on weight loss as Ozempic.  The side effect profile is about the same.  Side effects do not need to be listed in the package insert unless they meet a criterion of causing side effects about a threshold percentage of users.  So most of the side effects in the package insert are usually mild and frequent, such as nausea and vomiting.  Other side effects may be less common and not have the same need to be included in the package insert.   

Recently the government has declared that Ozempic supplies were so low as to permit compounding of the drug by accredited compounding pharmacies.  As a result, there are companies other than the brand producer who are making Ozempic.  So if you are getting Ozempic, make sure you are getting the actual product brand name.  If the packaging is not correct, you may be getting a pharmacy compounded form of the drug which may be fine or which may not reach the same stand of manufacturing scrupulousness as the brand name.  

11 minutes ago, Rudynate said:

Doing the right thing doesn't always feel that good.  This is one of those times.

Doing the "right" thing and doing what is right for oneself frequently are two different things.  

OP could always opt for the bold thing and tell his long time FB  that he enjoys the FB's son and OP wishes to continue to see him and his son and it is the FB's choice to continue their relationship or not.  He could also tell the son, I know your father and if that is a problem then the decision is yours to make.  IF the son asks how the OP knows his father, he should tell him he needs to speak to his father about that.  Everything is out in the open and everyone can make his own choice and not make choices for others.  Ah the drama of it all.  

But before any of this, the OP needs to contact Bravo with a treatment for this.   I would go with either

All in the Family or Not.  

 Family Matters or Does it.  

Family Ties and Unties  

Family Affair  ??? 

Family Feud   

Sanford and Son (Names have been changed to protect the Guilty)

Son of Anarchy

Friends  With Benefits

Yours Mine but Not Ours

To play Devil's advocate, why do you owe either of these men an explanation for sleeping around with other men.  Your life is your own and unless you have an emotional attachment to one or the other then the decision to continue or not continue to see either one is yours and not something that should be forced upon you by either one,  If you enjoy the sex with each equally and if you know that you are not going to have a long term relationship with either, the devil wants you to continue to see both until there is an eventual explosion.  

Five years from now this will just be an interesting memory.  

Now if you have emotional feelings for one and not the other, then you need to address that, because that is a situation which is doomed to failure.  

15 minutes ago, Brock O said:

I would make one amendment to #3.  The scientific method only helps you understand one part of the natural world.  You need a big heart and open spirit to truly understand the wonders and marvel at the mysteries of the natural world.  The scientific method supplements this deep appreciation of the natural world.  

Yes some things need appreciation not explanation.   

5 hours ago, Vin_Marco said:

 

No but you did offer to show me a hot bone the last time I saw you.  So there are still some nice surprises. 

16 hours ago, Vin_Marco said:

COMPLIMENT PEOPLE IN FRONT OF OTHER PEOPLE

Admonish thy friends in secret, praise them openly.

 

 

While I totally agree that one should compliment people in front of others, I would not phrase the first part of the sentiment as Admonish thy friends in secret.  That could be taken to mean that you should admonish your friends behind their back.  It might be better stated, Admonish your friends not at all or perhaps. IF one is to admonish a friend, do so in the privacy of they company.   A well considered admonishment in private said in a spirit of helpfulness can be a blessing.  One should not be afraid of giving or receiving these in the name of friendship.   

Lots to choose but Jimmy G has my vote and anything he wants

All this violence over money that is discretionary.  How about taking some responsibility for not getting yourself into that situation in the first place.  Meet outside the room and read the room there.  Little chance of violence in a public arena.  Hire well respected and well reviewed escorts.  Ask for a 3 finger selfie or a FaceTime before having someone come to your home.  

Saying you would shoot someone in the back for a small amount of money it ridiculous.  How much is too little for you to  shoot?  $100? $59?  $12.74.?   $4.53?   Defending yourself from bodily harm certainly is understandable and in fact being able to do so is commendable.  

There is no good name for a man who shoots another in the back.        Shakespeare.  Good name in man and woman, Dear my lord is the immediate jewel of their souls. Who steals my purse steals trash; tis the something, nothing; twas mine, 'tis his and had been slave to thousands; But he that filches from me my good name robs me of the which not enriches him. and makes me poor indeed.   

Your suggested crime, and you correctly point out it is a crime in most states, diminishes you forever.  Might as well put a teardrop tattoo over you face.   

1 minute ago, DWnyc said:

I fully agree.

I think the biggest obstacle to anything other than a provider-client relationship would be having to start from almost zero on “ normal” tjings despite feeling very close in others. And much of that supposed closeness is likely one sided and based on an act.

And I suspect there would be a world of difference between many providers and clients in their social / economic status that would for starters complicate much interaction that went beyond 1-on-1.

That is true, most of the escorts with whom  I am friends are making more money than I am and generally hang out with a more interesting group of people. But they seem to put up with me anyway. 

On 11/7/2023 at 1:05 PM, wsc said:

Said the woman with $3 billion .

She did not always have 3 billion dollars but I believe she always had the attitude, so maybe she is on to something.  

On 10/26/2023 at 2:44 PM, samhexum said:

And I've been portrayed by Robin Williams...  Yep-- Mork, Popeye, & Me!!!

Are you Mrs Doubtfire?  Or was this a drive by fruiting?

3 hours ago, DWnyc said:

A regular provider I saw shortly before Christmas dropped hints about joining my plans when it came up  - eg important time for him but he’d be alone far away from anyone, I was one of few clients he considered a friend (this startled me a little). I thought about it all through our session (and it was distracting!) and I realized a “friend” would be welcome at my Christmas dinner table, and I would want them to be themselves when off the clock (and not give them a list of things not to say or lie about). I wasn’t sure I could deal with that in the presence of my friends and family members. That year I had a colleague from work join with a similar situation of being far from family and they weren’t actually a close friend but it felt natural in a way the provider attending didn’t. But each to their own - others may have dealt with this differently. 

 

The nature of one's relationship with each person is different.  Inevitably if you invite your friend the escort to dinner with other friends, people are bound to ask questions which may have answers which are more revealing than you may be comfortable having answered.  The same might be true of your best friend from high school that gave you a blow job every day after school until he married and you did the same.  Discretion would probably lead to an answer to How did you guys meet? as We met in high school.  Oh yeah we gave each other head every day for three years would probably be left out.  So while the seas of friendship with an escort may be a bit more difficult to navigate especially if your friend is significantly younger, quite sexually appealing and likely to raise questions some may not choose to have answered with complete candor it comes down to what your priority is.  That is part of the reason that friendships with escorts and clients are not common. However one can be honest without being indiscreet no matter what your friend does for a living or how you met.   

I have a friend who stopped escorting about 10 years ago.  We hit it off very early on and I hired him several times to do his non escort job.  He worked at my office and acted in professional manner at all times,  I had some trepidation at first as I was widowed and I had been happily married and only started sleeping with men well after my wife's passing.  I was concerned about being "outed" but more concerned about continuing my friendship. It can be done, priorities are your own.  

3 hours ago, SouthOfTheBorder said:

the word friend is wildly overused.  Being friendly & makIng friends are two very different things.  
being friendly wherever you go yields more pleasant interactions and friendly acquaintances, rather than actual enduring friendships that require time, energy, reciprocation, maintenance & nurturing. 
Facebook and similar have destroyed the meaning of what a real friend is.  There’s all kinds of studies showing humans have a maximum capacity for something like 100 friendly acquaintances & then typically a very small circle of actual real friends, less than 10.

So, can a provider be a real friend for some people ? - yes, it’s possible.
Is it probable given circumstances of the relationship & human bandwidth ? - no, not likely.
I’m not “friends” with my doctor, dentist, lawyer of massage therapist. I’m a client in those professional relationships with a friendly rapport. 

I agree that there is a difference between being friends and being friendly, but if you have a friendly and interested nature, then you may become friends with anyone.  Considering that the number of escort client interactions with different pairings (or thruples or more..) which have occurred with forum members probably stretches to the millions,  it would seem inevitable that some of those would wind up as friends.  It seems most likely that those people who are open to the idea of such relationships would be the ones most likely to develop one.    

So, can a provider be a real friend for some people?  IMO, the probabilities are so high as to make it almost a certainty, though a rarity.

Is it probable given the circumstances of the relationship and human bandwidth?  No not likely but inevitably yes.

As a doctor I was not friends with the vast majority of my patients, but after years and more than ten thousand encounters with different patients, I am friends with a select few.  Go to the house for holidays friends, get invited to the kid's wedding friends, attend the funeral of a parent or a spouse friend, have a drink out and watch a football game friend, borrow their tools and don't return them friends, and yes even get a call in the middle of the night to go bail their kid out of jail friend.  This while living in a well populated state and meeting these people after I had a well establish coterie of other people in my life.    Where does the new doctor in town in Alaska make his friends?   Watch Northern Exposure Reruns to find out.   

4 minutes ago, purplekow said:

While resistant gonorrhea is going to become a larger and larger problem, at this time, the routine treatment for gonorrhea is cheap and effective in most cases in most places.  There are pockets of areas where there is a larger percentage of resistant strain gonorrhea and in those areas a drug which is effective against the resistant bacteria is beneficial.  While the article states that eventually the treatment cost will be as inexpensive as treatment for GC is now, that will occur only after the developing company has lost its patent, at least that will be the case in the US.  So given the likely high initial cost, the possibility of resistance to this drug developing from overuse and the relative effectiveness of the present treatment, this advance initially only will make a small difference in the manner in which GC will be treated,    Prevention is still the best course of action.  Public health efforts such as legalization of sex work and required testing for sex workers in order to locate and treat unsuspected cases of the disease would also slow the development of a more resistant GC dominant strain.  But the bacteria always win these races.  Encouragement of use of condoms,( I know I know I know no one wants to hear that) is another potential brake on the eventual collision of humans and super resistant GC.  

Just another point, antibiotic development is not particularly profitable for drug companies.  As opposed to daily medications such as statins or blood pressure medication, antibiotics are taken as needed and as such sales are many times higher in the daily drugs.  In order for medicine to keep up with mutations which lead to drug resistance, companies are going to have to have a financial incentive to increase research in this field.  

While resistant gonorrhea is going to become a larger and larger problem, at this time, the routine treatment for gonorrhea is cheap and effective in most cases in most places.  There are pockets of areas where there is a larger percentage of resistant strain gonorrhea and in those areas a drug which is effective against the resistant bacteria is beneficial.  While the article states that eventually the treatment cost will be as inexpensive as treatment for GC is now, that will occur only after the developing company has lost its patent, at least that will be the case in the US.  So given the likely high initial cost, the possibility of resistance to this drug developing from overuse and the relative effectiveness of the present treatment, this advance initially only will make a small difference in the manner in which GC will be treated,    Prevention is still the best course of action.  Public health efforts such as legalization of sex work and required testing for sex workers in order to locate and treat unsuspected cases of the disease would also slow the development of a more resistant GC dominant strain.  But the bacteria always win these races.  Encouragement of use of condoms,( I know I know I know no one wants to hear that) is another potential brake on the eventual collision of humans and super resistant GC.  

On 11/4/2023 at 12:41 PM, dbar123 said:

There is an escort that I was seeing somewhat routinely that shares a common interest with me- we both enjoy biking and we started doing that occasionally outside of sex. 

More interesting would be to do it during sex.   

This question has been asked a lot and discussed forever.  There is really one simple answer.   Friendly people make friends wherever they go.  So yes one can, as to whether most can is another question and a third question is whether most escorts want clients as friends.  

9 hours ago, WilliamM said:

I am planning to visit the war memorials in Washington in December.

And remember a wonderful friend who died in Vietnam 

Be prepared for the chills if it is your first time to the Viet Nam Memorial or even if it is you 100th.  Those chills are there whether it is December or the dog days of August.