Question about private-message etiquette here

[NYCguy10011]

Hi guys —

 

I’ve been a member here for a couple of years, mainly using the Spa section to help find good masseurs and share tips based on masseurs I’ve seen. I’ve been reading the posts more often lately, and I enjoy the mix of sex-related topics, politics, and random stuff.

 

Here’s my question: What’s the etiquette when you see another person here whose profile intrigues you and whose posts resonate with you? There’s one guy, in particular, who intrigues me a lot. But I’ve seen several posts here complaining about people sending private messages that come across as intrusive or aggressive, which isn’t my style or my intent. How do you guys handle it when your curiosity about someone is piqued? Write to him? Lurk around “liking” his posts for a while?

 

Thanks, in advance, for any advice/experience!

[+ azdr0710]

chat him (or her) up!......as always, be friendly, respectful, and professional!......

 

some members, though, have their PM preferences set to "no"

 

[Guest]

If you’re polite in your message and he gets upset, realize he’s the one with the problem and drop it. But there’s no worse feeling than “what if?” IMHO

[+ Axiom2001]

...have been here for many a year and have received a good deal of pm's on varying topics, from travel-related to information about escorts I've seen. One popular escort here even wrote to me asking about another escort who I had seen. Since I liked the guy and had bonded--I eagerly responded to his query. He in turn wrote back to me and relayed that his experience with asked about escort was similar to mine: disappointing. [i will not divulge the name of either of the two escorts involved.]

 

But in response to your query-- it depends on the questions or advice sought. If you're interested in getting together with the poster to meet with him-- I can not address this, for although I press likes-- I do this because I like the guy's initial posting.

 

One guy here wrote to me asking if we could chat. I was NOT interested in just writing, so I neither responded or wrote back with a cordial and candid response. ...can't remember his tag.

[MikeyGMin]

I wouldn't be shy about sending someone a PM in the manor described above. I think the complaints you may have seen recently were related to overly crude or graphic messages. I'm sure some guys love talking about every thrust and spurt that occurs, but you need to know your audience.

 

I think "massage guys" have it particularly difficult because if you are inquiring about someone what you really want to know is how far he will go. That requires a certain level of trust that you might not have right away with the person you were contacting.

[+ Charlie]

You can't predict how a poster will respond to receiving a PM from you, but it doesn't hurt to try. Explain what post of his made you interested in a more private interaction than simply responding within a thread. You will probably learn more about the person from his reply, or lack thereof.

 

Two posters here PMed me out of the blue years ago, when I posted that I was planning to move to PS, because each of them was contemplating the same move but had said nothing about it on the site. We arranged to meet in person as soon as we moved, and each of them became close personal friends of mine as a result.

[Chuckball]

I received an email from a forum member who is considering opting out of the forum because several forum members sent him rude messages and even sharing personal information.

I too get upset with a few of the bullies who post on this site. Why can't we all be kind and friendly with one another. That doesn't mean we can't disagree. Just be civil in tone. Rude posts or bellgerent private messages should not be tolerated here.

[TruthBTold]

I do not mind people writing me about a particular topic and I try to answer as fully as I can. I think PMs are often a good way to get info about escorts if you see that someone has been with the escort and followed the rules by not writing a full post that could be seen as a review. I will also give information about escorts that I have enquired about from other people. HOWEVER, I never provide the info that was given to me without contacting the person who gave it to me first and asking their permission to do so. People have also written me about a lot of other things, e.g., the city I live, television shows or movies, resorts in Palm Springs. I realize that except in a very few cases the conversations won't run for that long. Sometimes I might have a question that I think someone might help me with and I might contact them. I will understand if they either don't answer at all or don't really want to go into it. There is no obligation here. And I always have to realize that like everything I might have to wait for an answer because perhaps like me they are just coming to the Forum to look at a thread showing some nice, full, round butts.

[mike carey]

I received an email from a forum member who is considering opting out of the forum because several forum members sent him rude messages and even sharing personal information.

There's no reason to tolerate that sort of rudeness or invasion of privacy. Conversations are private between the participants, but they are visible to forum admins. If you receive abusive PMs, report them.

[Bargara Leatherboy]

Carpe Diem (seize the moment) send the PM - just be honest and polite - and the rest is up to the recipient.

[+ Tarte Gogo]

Hi guys —

 

I’ve been a member here for a couple of years, mainly using the Spa section to help find good masseurs and share tips based on masseurs I’ve seen. I’ve been reading the posts more often lately, and I enjoy the mix of sex-related topics, politics, and random stuff.

 

Here’s my question: What’s the etiquette when you see another person here whose profile intrigues you and whose posts resonate with you? There’s one guy, in particular, who intrigues me a lot. But I’ve seen several posts here complaining about people sending private messages that come across as intrusive or aggressive, which isn’t my style or my intent. How do you guys handle it when your curiosity about someone is piqued? Write to him? Lurk around “liking” his posts for a while?

 

Thanks, in advance, for any advice/experience!

I am assuming you are thinking of not just talking privately, but also meeting in person?

 

Since I joined, I have invited 3 members of the forum to lunch. They all have accepted. I'm glad I did it, they are all great.

I mostly did it because I don't have anyone else with which I can discuss (using voice, rather than my keyboard) my experiences. But also I sort of knew from their posts that it would go well.

 

So if I were you,

1. Participate more (lurkers are an unknown entity, I wouldn't start a deeply-involved PM with someone who barely ever posts) and

2. Then start a private conversation about whatever it is you both currently enjoy reading/discussing on the forum, and then if things still are as friendly as you want them, offer to buy them lunch, whenever they have free time next.

 

Why lunch? Well dinner, or coffee, sounds like you asking them on a date. You don't want to start with a misunderstanding.

[BaronArtz]

When I receive a PM, I try to be helpful. But if it is an intrusive question coming from a newbie or a novice, I feign ignorance.

[rvwnsd]

Hi guys —

 

I’ve been a member here for a couple of years, mainly using the Spa section to help find good masseurs and share tips based on masseurs I’ve seen. I’ve been reading the posts more often lately, and I enjoy the mix of sex-related topics, politics, and random stuff.

 

Here’s my question: What’s the etiquette when you see another person here whose profile intrigues you and whose posts resonate with you? There’s one guy, in particular, who intrigues me a lot. But I’ve seen several posts here complaining about people sending private messages that come across as intrusive or aggressive, which isn’t my style or my intent. How do you guys handle it when your curiosity about someone is piqued? Write to him? Lurk around “liking” his posts for a while?

 

Thanks, in advance, for any advice/experience!

When I PM someone I am courteous and friendly - and I assume others will be the same. The overwhelming majority of PMs I've received, from both new and long-time members fit in that category. On the few occasions where a PM has not been friendly/courteous/etc I don't respond. I was one of the recipients of a message sent to a large group by a new member. The whole thing was odd, from the notion of sending a group message to the tone. I didn't reply.

[+ JEC]

I am assuming you are thinking of not just talking privately, but also meeting in person?

 

Since I joined, I have invited 3 members of the forum to lunch. They all have accepted. I'm glad I did it, they are all great.

I mostly did it because I don't have anyone else with which I can discuss (using voice, rather than my keyboard) my experiences. But also I sort of knew from their posts that it would go well.

 

So if I were you,

1. Participate more (lurkers are an unknown entity, I wouldn't start a deeply-involved PM with someone who barely ever posts) and

2. Then start a private conversation about whatever it is you both currently enjoy reading/discussing on the forum, and then if things still are as friendly as you want them, offer to buy them lunch, whenever they have free time next.

 

Why lunch? Well dinner, or coffee, sounds like you asking them on a date. You don't want to start with a misunderstanding.

I enjoyed our lunch yesterday Tarte

[jjkrkwood]

I NEVER get a PM......

[+ JEC]

I NEVER get a PM......

Take the first step.....

[bigvalboy]

There's no reason to tolerate that sort of rudeness or invasion of privacy. Conversations are private between the participants, but they are visible to forum admins. If you receive abusive PMs, report them.

 

Correct.

I'm surprised how many members are not aware of this. Private messages are not private. Rules and regs apply.

[rogerG]

My interactions with PM's have been very helpful and appreciated. I haven't encountered rudeness or poor behavior. Thank you to all the guys who offered helpful information.

[TruthBTold]

Correct.

I'm surprised how many members are not aware of this. Private messages are not private. Rules and regs apply.

 

You're kidding? Even without either member involved in the conversation complaining about the PM? It is like living in a Communist state. Well, that is the end of my use of them.

[mike carey]

You're kidding? Even without either member involved in the conversation complaining about the PM? It is like living in a Communist state. Well, that is the end of my use of them.

They can be is not the same as they are. I am confident that the admins don't look unless they receive a complaint. I'm sure that reviewing the public comments on the site take up more than enough of their time without trawling through otherwise unexceptional private messages.

[+ oldNbusted]

They can be is not the same as they are. I am confident that the admins don't look unless they receive a complaint. I'm sure that reviewing the public comments on the site take up more than enough of their time without trawling through otherwise unexceptional private messages.

 

I'm soooo disappointed at the thought of this, I assumed I was writing for a wider audience than just one!

[+ bashful]

I'm soooo disappointed at the thought of this, I assumed I was writing for a wider audience than just one!

 

LOL. There's a voyeur (to one extent or another) in all of us.

[+ oldNbusted]

LOL. There's a voyeur (to one extent or another) in all of us.

 

 

Very well could be, or am I a closeted exhibitionist?

[MiamiLooker]

"Conversations" shouldn't be considered private.

[+ Tarte Gogo]

So we have replied to the OP, but no reaction?

 

Was it all for nothing?

 

Where is my private message?