Do you reveal your race to your masseurs/escorts?

[+ GregM]

Plain and simple, people are ass holes. Not everyone mind you but enough are to make situations unfun. I can't speak for others but whether it's a paid engagement or otherwise I give no fucks what race someone is. It's a non issue with me plain and simple. You can choose to let others bother you and let it eat you up or you can say fuck it and just dance. I understand we are human we all have feelings and yes rejection hurts. Not being part of the A crowd in any form I know. But I would rather have one person love me for me rather than have 10 people pretend. If that makes sense. Fuck the haters and do you.

 

Hugs,

Greg

[+ Eric Hassan]

I think I may have contributed to this conversation earlier, but I feel moved to contribute again.

 

Clients - Whether to disclose anything about your physical being is entirely your choice. There is no right or wrong, and the choice does not belong to anyone but you. You are not obligated to explain what you look like and you are most certainly not obligated to tolerate negative reactions to your appearance. One good reason to disclose personal information would be if you are concerned about being rejected in person. Another good reason is your own personal comfort - if you'd just be more comfortable having your chosen provider know something about you, it's a good option to share. Now, just because these are (to me) good reasons to share "stats" doesn't mean you have to disclose. It's always your choice.

 

I would also like to point out that most of what we see of people - hair, skin, nails - is dead. We, as a society, spend a LOT of time analyzing, judging, evaluating, etc things that are dead, and mostly genetic happenstance.

[+ GregM]

Argentines do not have an attitude. Fuck you.

 

 

Love you @latbear4blk LOL

 

Hugs,

Greg

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

Can't we all just keep this simple and hate each other equally?

 

said with tongue firmly-planted-in-ass

Edited March 26, 2018 by Benjamin_Nicholas

[510guy]

Have not really been following this thread. Just glanced over this just now. I am Asian and have never felt the need to disclose that in any situation. I have encountered the looks, being called ching ching Chinaman, had people make squinty eyes in front not me. Yup, all that. But who cares. Life goes on, move on and don't dwell on it. Perhaps the person is prejudice, naive, undereducated but either way, I don't dwell on it. Maybe it may bother me a bit but as long as I am not physically assaulted ( which I never have) then just move on.

[bigvalboy]

@Drained Empty.... Look I don't hate you or want to bash you. As a fellow Asian gay guy, it's coming more from a place of wanting other guys of color, especially Asian, to not take shit from others. People can be absolute pricks but that does not mean you should entertain that shit. It's almost like I want to reach out through the screen and shake you and tell you to stop doing that to yourself. Stop letting it consume you.

 

Have not really been following this thread. Just glanced over this just now. I am Asian and have never felt the need to disclose that in any situation. I have encountered the looks, being called ching ching Chinaman, had people make squinty eyes in front not me. Yup, all that. But who cares. Life goes on, move on and don't dwell on it. Perhaps the person is prejudice, naive, undereducated but either way, I don't dwell on it. Maybe it may bother me a bit but as long as I am not physically assaulted ( which I never have) then just move on.

 

Well said...

[Rudynate]

Hah. I am a redhead as well!

 

Every one a treasure.

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

Every one a treasure.

 

You bet your sweet ass we are

[Rudynate]

You bet your sweet ass we are

 

 

Yer preachin' to the choir.

[Youngmilkman]

Do you reveal your race to your masseurs or escorts when booking?

 

I'm Asian American and admittedly a little neurotic about how my race is perceived in the gay community after years of experiencing tons of negativity.

 

I'm in my 30s and in decent shape, which I don't disclose because I feel that's "acceptable." But I always disclose my background, usually in the form of "I'm Asian, is that okay?" For the record, no one has ever said no, but in hook-up situations (which I know these aren't), I always reveal it right off the bat. I also don't respond to say, a Craigslist ad or Grindr post unless they specifically say "seeking Asians" (I don't even reply to ads that say "open to race").

 

I've just read/experienced instances where guys thought an Asian guy was Caucasian and felt "tricked." I have an equally neurotic fear of rejection (especially based on race) which is why I always disclose.

 

I disclosed to the last masseur while booking, and he asked why I did it and thought it was "weird." But then again I just read a thread here about a local masseur who reportedly doesn't serve Asians. It would be my biggest nightmare if I booked him and he rejected me after opening the door.

 

Maybe I'm just being crazy, but does anyone else do this?

(1) I love your username.

 

(2) Here in England I've only met one escorts who asked my race, and it turned out he had a fetish for Asians anyway.

 

For you especially, being what the Brits call 'East Asian' would be no problem here.

What Americans call 'Asians' are such a small minority here, too small for racists to really consider. I think the same goes for much of Europe, where East Asians are too niche to really form an opinion on.

 

Now those who really face the worst racism on the British gay scene are South Asians (Indians, Pakistanis) for reasons I'm not sure.

Edited April 5, 2018 by Youngmilkman

[desertguy1954]

I think I may have contributed to this conversation earlier, but I feel moved to contribute again.

 

Clients - Whether to disclose anything about your physical being is entirely your choice. There is no right or wrong, and the choice does not belong to anyone but you. You are not obligated to explain what you look like and you are most certainly not obligated to tolerate negative reactions to your appearance. One good reason to disclose personal information would be if you are concerned about being rejected in person. Another good reason is your own personal comfort - if you'd just be more comfortable having your chosen provider know something about you, it's a good option to share. Now, just because these are (to me) good reasons to share "stats" doesn't mean you have to disclose. It's always your choice.

 

I would also like to point out that most of what we see of people - hair, skin, nails - is dead. We, as a society, spend a LOT of time analyzing, judging, evaluating, etc things that are dead, and mostly genetic happenstance.

When I have first reached out to an escort I am interested, I always lead off as a GWM, I then state my age weight, act etc. What has amazed me, has been the number of escorts who after reading do not respond. Also, I always have sent the message in their preferred way of receiving.

I find myself limiting the ones that I reach out too.

I have two great guys at the moment and making plans to meet with another one.

Just tired of being ignored.

[TruHart1]

(1) I love your username.

 

(2) Here in England I've only met one escorts who asked my race, and it turned out he had a fetish for Asians anyway...

 

Those who face the worst racism on the British gay scene are South Asians (Indians, Pakistanis) for reasons I'm not sure.

I have always found attractive Indians/Pakistani so sexy and exotic. I wish there were more around my area who escort!

 

TruHart1

[Youngmilkman]

I have always found attractive Indians/Pakistani so sexy and exotic. I wish there were more around my area who escort!

 

TruHart1

Oh me too. I would gladly spend a small fortune on an escort like this Indian Hulk:

[Bargara Leatherboy]

I read an article about travelling and how the majority in each race are attracted to their own ilk.

 

It was about the expectation that as a Caucasian male travelling in Asia that not all Asian men chased white men.

 

The stat was something like 10% of Asian men were attracted to non Asians.

 

As a white male, of size and body hair, I know that some men find me attractive and some do not.

 

In bath houses or bars I find some man attractive to me and equally in return. Sometimes it depends on the venue.

 

This is often confused by the money boys who give us a false sense of how attractive we are Percieved as. More likely is they find our money attractive.

 

When I am setting up a hiring meeting I always mention my basic description, similar to mid 50's large bear, some providers never respond, some say it won't work ( which is always preferable). Or go ahead and make the arrangements.

 

Racism is different to sexual racism.

 

Personally I find some Asians attractive, some Indians attractive, I am rarely attracted to African or Native American men, however that does not make me racist as I don't dislike those faces , I just don't find them sexually attractive.

 

I am not a sexist man, but as a gay man I don't find woman sexually attractive but that does not make me anti feminism

[TruHart1]

Oh me too. I would gladly spend a small fortune on an escort like this Indian Hulk:

YES!!! He is absolutely gorgeous! He's probably too hot to be an escort, though!!!

 

TruHart1

[TruHart1]

I read an article about travelling and how the majority in each race are attracted to their own ilk.

 

It was about the expectation that as a Caucasian male travelling in Asia that not all Asian men chased white men.

 

The stat was something like 10% of Asian men were attracted to non Asians.

 

As a white male, of size and body hair, I know that some men find me attractive and some do not.

 

In bath houses or bars I find some man attractive to me and equally in return. Sometimes it depends on the venue.

 

This is often confused by the money boys who give us a false sense of how attractive we are Percieved as. More likely is they find our money attractive.

 

When I am setting up a hiring meeting I always mention my basic description, similar to mid 50's large bear, some providers never respond, some say it won't work ( which is always preferable). Or go ahead and make the arrangements.

 

Racism is different to sexual racism.

 

Personally I find some Asians attractive, some Indians attractive, I am rarely attracted to African or Native American men, however that does not make me racist as I don't dislike those faces , I just don't find them sexually attractive.

 

I am not a sexist man, but as a gay man I don't find woman sexually attractive but that does not make me anti feminism

In regard to being attracted to same-race guys, (Caucasian for me) if a man is hot and hunky, he is attractive to me sexually, no matter his race/ethnicity. I must admit, though, that a winning, socially assured personality makes a man most attractive to me! I usually find Alpha males hottest, with a few exceptions, once again having to do with attitude and personality. I do find beautiful women attractive, but not sexually interesting at all, although, once again, personality plays a major part in my desire to become platonic friends with a woman, too.

 

TruHart1

[hercules_tamer]

I am baffled by this issue. Never thought there are some escorts who discriminate based on race. Not only racist but also unprofessional.

[Bargara Leatherboy]

Unprofessional but if they are unable to give me the best they can I would prefer a No its not going to work response.

[hercules_tamer]

Oh me too. I would gladly spend a small fortune on an escort like this Indian Hulk:

Good heavens, give me this stallion over a pretty-boy twink any day! The racist's loss is my gain.

 

I assume he's not actually an escort. And if he is, I'm coming down to London...

Edited April 15, 2018 by hercules_tamer

[RunnerGuy]

Drained Empty, no need to "tone it down." Too often we are accused of playing the "race card" when in reality it is played against us. I have read yours posts and would like to share my experience.

 

I am South Asian. I was born in Cali and went to school/worked in NYC. I have gotten the looks from straight and gay people. I have been asked if my dick tastes like curry. I have been asked if I smell. During my best friend's bachelor party (he is a beautiful black man from Africa) at an upscale restaurant, a man at the next table asked "who let the cabbies in." It ruined the night.

 

I graduated college just months before 9/11. Imagine being called a terrorist or getting looks every day for months. I'm Hindu, not Muslim. It was also a downturn in the economy and people accused Asians and South Asians of stealing jobs.

 

I have faced everything you have. Now that I live in Los Angeles, I don't go to West Hollywood because I know how I will be treated. I have been to the spas you talk about and witnessed the walk-outs you describe. I have been on the receiving end of them. It has ruined my visit too.

 

People are hateful. Gay men are especially hateful. They hate for no reason or because of your skin. For a long time it got to me. I asked, why am I on the receiving end of all this hate? And I can understand why you feel defeated.

 

If you ever want to meet for coffee or chat, let me know.

 

-- Vik

Edited May 14, 2018 by RunnerGuy

[RunnerGuy]

Now those who really face the worst racism on the British gay scene are South Asians (Indians, Pakistanis) for reasons I'm not sure.

 

Yes, my relatives tell me about how terrible attitudes are against Southeast Asians.

 

Colonialism? Resentment? Who knows? London is another place I would never go.

[Bargara Leatherboy]

Thinking about this, I am not racist. On the few occasions when I have Been in a bathhouse and had a great encounter with an Asian man, instead of that was fun thank you, you get I need your phone number, I want to see you again, can you buy me a house ? I have even had them wait outside and try and stalk me when I leave. Now I am not a hot stud so I know it's not my body they want.

 

Of course not every Asian man acts like this, but this gives the majority who are decent people a bad name.

 

Having said that I take everyone I meet on face value, I respect them, regardless if they are gay straight trans, white, Black, Asian, Latino, until they disrespect me.

 

So how do I sum up, maybe if everyone can be unconditional in their respect , the world will be a nicer place. By all means if you are disrespected, treat accordingly, but let's be welcoming of all people, we have enough challenges in today's negative world, Without internal dramas about someone's racial background. Let's face it we had no choice about our sexual orientation, these guys had no choice about their racial or cultural background, let's not make them suffer a double whammy of prejudice.

[Youngmilkman]

Yes, my relatives tell me about how terrible attitudes are against Southeast Asians.

 

Colonialism? Resentment? Who knows? London is another place I would never go.

To be fair, what we call Southeast Asians in the UK (Thais, Indonesians, Filipinos) are "safer" in London than South Asians.

I have many friends from both South and Southeast Asia but it's the South Asians who seem to encounter special hostility on the gay scene.

[+ sync]

It's too bad the evolution of our humanity does not keep pace with the evolution of our technology.