Have you ever wanted children?

BasketBaller · October 19, 2017

On a good day, Disney World is replete with CYD's ... cute young daddys. You know the type: Tall, slender (but not necessarily lean), tanned and either an expression of shear joy for speending time with his kids or a look of utter frustration. The Mom nowhere to be seen.

https://www.instagram.com/dilfs_of_disneyland/?hl=en

+ *sniper* · October 19, 2017

It hasn't been easy but it's been rewarding. I knew I wanted kids ever since I worked in a basketball camp in high school with little kids, and found I enjoyed the interactions. When my wife and I got serious, we certainly talked about having children, but didn't intend to have them so soon! But a condom broke a couple of months before our scheduled wedding, and so seven months after getting married, we were parents at 21. And then parents of three, after the twins were born when we were 23. Crazy, exhausting, maybe even foolish. But again, we knew we wanted them, which made all the difference.

Actually I don't think it's foolish at all. Too many people wait for everything to be perfect to find out it's too late. I have a friend making one last stab at IVF, she's 44. And at the same time this is going on, her parents' health is starting to go. If/when your kids have kids, you will likely be still be young enough to help out.

Some people seem to think you should have a paid-off house and four years of college tuition in the bank before you consider having a child.

gallahadesquire · October 19, 2017

https://www.instagram.com/dilfs_of_disneyland/?hl=en

Thank you!!

LoveAustinCF · October 19, 2017

https://www.instagram.com/dilfs_of_disneyland/?hl=en

I'm sure you are a DILF yourself;)

+ *WmClarke* · October 19, 2017

https://www.theonion.com/study-finds-owning-cool-leather-jacket-more-rewarding-t-1819573356

bigvalboy · October 19, 2017

https://www.theonion.com/study-finds-owning-cool-leather-jacket-more-rewarding-t-1819573356

I'm in Florida, so no leather jacket could be worn in the heat and humidity. BUT....I'd gladly take the 71 supercharged Barracuda over a child any day of the week...(although the "Hemi" Cuda would bring more dinero)

Edited October 20, 2017 by bigvalboy

manorbrown · October 19, 2017

Single Father of three here ...through the good times (oldest son graduating from HS as valedictorian and now @ Brown) to the not so good times (13 year old son recently informing me he has a girlfriend and they are sexually active(!!!)) I couldn't imagine life without them....

+ *glutes* · October 19, 2017

I love my children!

Edited October 19, 2017 by Oaktown

+ *FreshFluff* · October 19, 2017

Actually I don't think it's foolish at all. Too many people wait for everything to be perfect to find out it's too late. I have a friend making one last stab at IVF, she's 44. And at the same time this is going on, her parents' health is starting to go. If/when your kids have kids, you will likely be still be young enough to help out.
Some people seem to think you should have a paid-off house and four years of college tuition in the bank before you consider having a child.

That's not the reason women are waiting. Surveys of women who freeze their eggs show that women are doing so because they "haven't found the right relationship." The reality is that men, esp those in urban areas, want to play around for 15 or 20 years before they marry. I can't blame them.

That said, I myself squandered several good options. But deep inside, I wonder if I'd be happy if I had taken them.

+ *purplekow* · October 19, 2017

That's not the reason women are waiting. Surveys of women who freeze their eggs show that women are doing so because they "haven't found the right relationship." The reality is that men, esp those in urban areas, want to play around for 15 or 20 years before they marry. I can't blame them.

That said, I myself squandered several good options. But deep inside, I wonder if I'd be happy if I had taken them.

I hate to say it but the answer could have been yes. Waiting for the perfect anything is likely to leave you with nothing.

+ *sniper* · October 19, 2017

That's not the reason women are waiting. Surveys of women who freeze their eggs show that women are doing so because they "haven't found the right relationship." The reality is that men, esp those in urban areas, want to play around for 15 or 20 years before they marry. I can't blame them.

That said, I myself squandered several good options. But deep inside, I wonder if I'd be happy if I had taken them.

I by no means meant to imply this was just a female issue. My 47 year old male friend now has two kids under the age of 2. I think he waited too long too.

Yes, the extension of adolescence well into the 30s is an issue too. It's frankly stupider for men to wait because they don't' live as long.

Settling down invariably involves some amount of "settling FOR" and our culture doesn't like to admit that.

MikeBiDude · October 19, 2017

One and done....

+ *FreshFluff* · October 19, 2017

I hate to say it but the answer could have been yes. Waiting for the perfect anything is likely to leave you with nothing.

I wasn't referring to situations of that kind. I cared deeply about both guys I'm thinking of. I just didn't handle them right; should have been less distant and a bit more clingy.

+ *oldNbusted* · October 19, 2017

After my shambolic dumpster fire of a childhood, I was of the opinion that I'd rather never than poorly, so it turned into never and that's fine with me.

bigvalboy · October 20, 2017

Two teenage sons. After the divorce, the older (17-yo) has been my savior, so to speak, checking on me many times a day.

The younger (13-yo), has always been the pride and joy of his mom, the ex-wife. She's succeeded in turning him against me.

Tough.

Thank you for such an honest post. My only thought would be is to keep being you. Your 13 year old is still very young. I will be praying that you eventually will have a relationship with him. All the best....

Good Grief · October 20, 2017

Thank you for such an honest post. My only thought would be is to keep being you. Your 13 year old is still very young. I will be praying that you eventually will have a relationship with him. All the best....

I certainly hope so. Thanks!

Edited October 20, 2017 by Good Grief

+ *KinkyNEguy* · October 20, 2017

No

+ *BenjaminNicholas* · October 20, 2017

Yes.

... But mainly to have someone to do dishes, make the bed and take out the trash.

Good Grief · October 20, 2017

Yes.

... But mainly to have someone to do dishes, make the bed and take out the trash.

Yeah, good luck with all that...

(Speaks from experience.)

+ *BenjaminNicholas* · October 20, 2017

Yeah, good luck with all that...

So, I shouldn't tell the adoption agency my plans?

Kippy · October 20, 2017

You breed 'em...you feed 'em-- don't get me involved! Dogs are a much better option...

Bratz,

Kipp

Good Grief · October 20, 2017

So, I shouldn't tell the adoption agency my plans?

Well.....could be included in Life Learning?

BabyBoomer · October 20, 2017

Yes.

... But mainly to have someone to do dishes, make the bed and take out the trash.

Yeah, good luck with all that...

(Speaks from experience.)

Weren't those the duties of Mrs. Grief?

~Boomer~

Good Grief · October 20, 2017

Weren't those the duties of Mrs. Grief?

~Boomer~

OH. HELL. NO.

Nobility, peers-of-the-realm (or those who feel they are - NOT related to this Forum) don't do all that shit.

Edited October 20, 2017 by Good Grief

+ *sniper* · October 20, 2017

So, I shouldn't tell the adoption agency my plans?

That's why you foster. Lower expectations, YOU get paid, and you can send 'em back.

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