Have you ever wanted children?

[+ Gar1eth]

I agree about the frozen eggs vs. embryo, although my doctor thinks the difference is less than people believe.

 

Nevertheless, I gave this a lot of soul searching and thought. I'm not going to change my mind about having kids alone, so that part is settled. Doing both as a hedge, as you suggested, is unlikely to work in this case.

 

You are pretty knowledgeable about this stuff, sniper.

 

@FreshFluff I missed the announcement you were having the harvesting done!! I wish you the best of luck!!

 

Gman

[gallahadesquire]

The abortion or the pregnancy?

Whoops. The abortion.

[+ FreshFluff]

@FreshFluff I missed the announcement you were having the harvesting done!!

 

 

[samhexum]

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 55-year-old gay man with a problem. My 22-year-old son doesn't know I'm gay. It was after my divorce that I started seeing men again.

I married my life partner of 13 years last year. My husband thinks I should sit my son down and tell him. I want to tell my son and be honest with him about my relationship with my husband, but my son is very religious and I'm afraid this will drive a wedge between us. Plus, I'm afraid of what ideas my ex would fill his head with about me. Please advise. -- CONFUSED IN THE SOUTH

 

DEAR CONFUSED: You say your son is 22 and you have been with your now-husband for 13 years. Haven't you had regular visitation with your son all this time? Doesn't he like your husband? If the answers to those questions are yes, then what makes you think he isn't already aware of your sexual orientation? On the other hand, if the answers to my questions are no, then I doubt that telling your son what's what will drive him any further away from you than he already is.

[+ Axiom2001]

NO! My encounter with children has come via my having siblings, my having baby sat, and my teaching 1000X's of 13 through 18 year oldsters for some 40+

years. All of the preceding have been enough in terms of my engagement with children.

 

As a gay man, I have never given it any other thought. NO, I have never desired to have children of my own.

[+ Funguy]

Oh, yes! I always wanted a mini-Cooper.

 

Got one! Put the top down and off we go!

Actually, I have had cars for over 50 years and I still rate my top 3 as: 1968 GTO convertible, 1995 E320 cabriolet - kept it for 17 years until it got totaled, and the 2013 Mini Cooper Roadster.

 

By the way, they are all better than kids! They can start getting expensive but they never talk back!

 

And, all my nieces and nephews LOVE riding shotgun with the top down and they're all adults!

Edited March 8, 2018 by Funguy

[samhexum]

Have you ever wanted children?

A mom in Kansas could be on the hook for $132,000 after her 5-year-old son “hugged” a glass sculpture, toppling it to the floor, video shows.

 

Sarah Goodman told the Kansas City Star that city officials in Overland Park informed her that their insurance company was contractually obligated to contact her following the May 19 incident at Tomahawk Ridge Community Center, where she, her husband and the couple’s four children attended a wedding reception.

 

“It’s clear accidents happen and this was an accident,” Goodman told the newspaper. “I don’t want to diminish the value of their art. But I can’t pay for that.”

 

Goodman said her son approached the glass sculpture as her family was getting ready to leave. She didn’t see the exact moment he touched the artwork, but video appears to show him grabbing the sculpture near its waist and putting his arms around it briefly before it crashes to the floor.

 

“He probably hugged it,” she said. “Maybe my son hugged a torso because he’s a loving, sweet, nice boy who just graduated from preschool.”

 

Goodman said the artwork “needed to be cemented” or kept in a case, saying it was a safety hazard for her son and other children at the venue that day.

 

“They obviously didn’t secure it safely,” she told the newspaper.

 

City officials never asked Goodman if her son was hurt in the incident, she said, but they managed to connect with Travelers Insurance to send the letter she received last week.

 

“This loss occurred when your son was in a closed area of the property and toppled a glass sculpture,” the letter read. “Under common law in Kansas, you are responsible for the supervision of a minor child and your failure to monitor them during this loss could be considered negligent.”

 

The sculpture, “Aphrodite di Kansas City” by artist Bill Lyons, took two years to finish and was not insured. The accident left the back of the sculpture’s head shattered and parts of both arms damaged, so badly that it cannot be repaired, he said.

 

“I want to be reimbursed for the amount of time that I spent on it and for what I think it is worth,” Lyons told the newspaper.

 

Goodman, meanwhile, is hoping her insurance company will handle the matter. She insisted neither she nor her son was to blame for the accident.

 

“Our kids were well-supervised and well-behaved,” she said. “We were just standing down the hallway following the bride and groom out.”

[+ purplekow]

Hmmm, your child hugs a statue, which in and of itself is not a horrible thing, but to say they were well supervised, well no. A well supervised child would not have gotten near that statue. That the statue was not firmly affixed to the pedestal is another issue. There seems to have been negligence on both sides. Still, I would have to say, not affixing it properly is a larger offense. A child or anyone running into a statue should be a consideration in the placement and display of the statue. In this day and age, to expect scrupulous parental supervision is a goal but it is not realistic of the displayers to believe that every child and anyone else (drunk, invalid, clumsy oaf) will keep that statue safe. 80 / 20 So that leaves the child's family on the hook for $26,400 if the price as quoted is correct.

Also at issue, why did they have to track down the offender? Did they leave without leaving contact information?

[+ sniper]

Liability apportionment varies by state...in some they can't collect unless the defendant is at least 50% liable. I would say if it fell that easily it was probably a hazard and the onus is on the people who put it there in a high-traffic venue.

[gallahadesquire]

...

 

Goodman, meanwhile, is hoping her insurance company will handle the matter. She insisted neither she nor her son was to blame for the accident.

 

“Our kids were well-supervised and well-behaved,” she said. “We were just standing down the hallway following the bride and groom out.”

 

This is the part that got to me: Completely denying responsibility for your actions. Perhaps her child should be put in a better home.

[EastbayMike]

In my teens - yes.

 

In my twenties - maybe someday.

 

In my early-thirties - not sure.

 

In my mid-thirties - oh fuck no.

 

In my forties/fifties - I thank god multiple times a week that I am child free.

[Walker1]

In my teens - yes.

 

In my twenties - maybe someday.

 

In my early-thirties - not sure.

 

In my mid-thirties - oh fuck no.

 

In my forties/fifties - I thank god multiple times a week that I am child free.

For me it was the exact opposite progression as I aged. The exact opposite. I do have kids-but funny -I am so glad I went ahead.

[samhexum]

Have you ever wanted kids?

 

 

Edited January 13, 2019 by samhexum

[samhexum]

Edited May 31, 2019 by samhexum

[samhexum]

Edited May 31, 2019 by samhexum

[samhexum]

[samhexum]

[samhexum]

 

 

 

[samhexum]

[samhexum]

[Despardo]

I have almost never wanted kids. I would have been a terrible parent I'm convinced. Spent most of my life fully engaged in trying to support myself. I have a close gay friend who had a career in elementary education, adopted a baby and raised it to adulthood. I could not have done that, but I'm glad he did.

[samhexum]

 

 

Dear Abby: I am a 27-year-old married man with two kids. They are 4 and 1 years old. I love my little family, and there has been a lot of “newness” to my life over the past few years.

 

My issue is that I’m starting to feel like I’m losing my identity. I no longer go out with friends because I feel guilty leaving my wife home alone with the kids. I also work a lot, so many nights I come home late and just crash. I have thought about taking a weekend trip alone to sort of reconnect with myself and get some things done, but would that be selfish?

 

— Identity Loss

 

Dear Identity Loss: It wouldn’t be selfish if you gave your wife the opportunity to take a similar sanity break when she feels the need. Or better yet, find a trusted baby sitter and the two of you go together. YES!

 

 

[DMICS]

Nope. After being around my niece daily now and her crying at least 2x a day I’ll pass.

[samhexum]

Dad reaches historic paid leave settlement with JPMorgan Chase

 

 

JPMorgan Chase on Thursday agreed to pay a bombshell $5 million to hundreds of men who claimed they weren’t given the same paid leave as women when they became parents.

 

The proposed class-action settlement, filed in Ohio federal court, is the culmination of a 2017 complaint brought by the American Civil Liberties Union, alleging Chase was biased against one of their employees, named Derek Rotondo.

 

“I love my children, and all I wanted was to spend time with them when they were born,” Rotondo said in a statement from the ACLU. “I’m proud that since I filed my charge, Chase has clarified its policy to ensure that both male and female employees who wish to be the primary parental caregiver have equal access to those benefits.”

 

This is the biggest settlement ever recorded in a US parental leave discrimination case, Rotondo’s lawyers said.

 

In his complaint, Rotondo claimed that when he asked to take 14 weeks of leave after his son was born, Chase’s human resources department told him only women were considered primary caregivers and eligible for the full 16 weeks of paid parental leave.

 

Fathers were only eligible for two paid weeks, unless the mom was incapacitated or back at work, they allegedly said.

 

Soon after Rotondo filed his Equal Employment Opportunity Commission claim, Chase gave him the full 16 weeks of caregiver leave.

 

In December 2017, Chase clarified their policy to ensure men and women have the same access, according to Rotondo and his lawyers.

 

The bank said their policy was always intended to be gender-neutral.

 

“We are pleased to have reached an agreement in this matter and look forward to more effectively communicating the policy so that all men and women employees are aware of their benefits,” said Reid Broda, JPMorgan Chase & Co. Associate General Counsel. “We thank Mr. Rotondo for bringing the matter to our attention.”

 

The ACLU said the resolution is the “first class-action lawsuit to settle discrimination claims for a class of fathers who claim they were denied the opportunity to receive equal paid parent leave given to mothers.”

 

The settlement will go to fathers who allege they were denied access to the same paid parental leave as mothers from 2011 to 2017.

 

“Unfortunately, the gender stereotype that raising children is a woman’s job is still prevalent, and is reflected in far too many corporate policies,” said Galen Sherwin, senior staff attorney with the ACLU’s Women’s Rights Project.

 

“We are pleased that Chase is committed to ensuring that its parental leave system meets the needs of today’s families.”

[+ Archer]

I wonder how long it will be until Chase changes their policy to unpaid parental leave.