Do you prefer gay resorts when traveling?

[Deadlift1]

Now that gays have been accepted into the main stream, do u still prefer to vacation at resorts that primarily cater to an all gay clientele?

[+ WilliamM]

I prefer cities with a substantial gay population, such as Sydney. No longer interested in resorts that primarily cater to an all gay clientele.

[Rudynate]

Things explicitly "gay," like restaurants, hotels and resorts usually charge premium rates/prices for an inferior product. In the 70's, before I lived here in San Francisco, on a visit, I went to a gay restaurant in the tenderloin, a couple blocks from Polk Street. It was all crystal chandeliers, flocked wall paper and white table linens. The waiters were pretentious old guys in tuxes, and the food was atrocious.

[Deadlift1]

Things explicitly "gay," like restaurants, hotels and resorts usually charge premium rates/prices for an inferior product. In the 70's, before I lived here in San Francisco, on a visit, I went to a gay restaurant in the tenderloin, a couple blocks from Polk Street. It was all crystal chandeliers, flocked wall paper and white table linens. The waiters were pretentious old guys in tuxes, and the food was atrocious.

Let's just make it easy and say it is priced the same as any other comparable place.

[Deadlift1]

Seeing stories of groups of women crashing gay male dance clubs lately, I don't know if all-men's resorts are the next to be "acclimated". We've become a society formerly of Private Only to general public, all-ages, therapy Parrots o.k. I'll vacation anywhere where there's privacy and small crowds regardless of who it's geared toward.

I have noticed as well. The "let's be daring and go to a gay dance club Bachelorette party," is annoying as all hell.

[Rudynate]

Let's just make it easy and say it is priced the same as any other comparable place.

 

 

Not so. As soon as something is called "gay," the price goes up.

[+ sam.fitzpatrick]

I stayed in my first gay resort about five years ago, and have stayed in one about once a year since then, sometimes alone, sometimes with an escort. I am usually out of town every six to eight weeks, so obviously I don't choose them all the time.

 

Just like choosing to stay at a Marriott rather than Motel 6, finding the right gay resort will vary for many. And for me, I tend to stay at a gay resort when I am in a get away and relax vacation mindset rather than tourist and siteseeing mode.

[Deadlift1]

Not so. As soon as something is called "gay," the price goes up.

For this question assume it is.

[+ WilliamM]

For this question assume it is.

 

That's a problem. It is one of the reasons I do not stay at gay resorts anymore.

[LaffingBear]

Nope.

 

There was a fascinating write-up in San Francisco Magazine many years ago. The entire issue focused on gay life in the Bay Area. Young, old, professional, politicians, male, female, hourly workers, etc... they tried to cover all segments of the gay population. It was very thought provoking.

 

There was a presentation on acclimating... the push-pull of seeking equal rights and mainstream acceptance, without abandoning many activities and behaviors that were are part of the gay community identity. The consensus of those interviewed was "we dont need gay cruises any more. We shouldn't need gay neighborhoods - I mostly feel comfortable holding hands with my boyfriend anywhere in town. We prefer mixed bars and clubs, rather than the gay bars."

 

I also had a fascinating conversation with a stranger a few years ago - he owns and runs a gay friendly B&B. He said one of the most frustrating things.... older guys would would call or email, and start hinting around, wondering if there was a sexual atmosphere at the place. Like bad porn, and real sleaze inns of the past. He repeatedly had to explain to potential guests, "No, you're not going to see sex-parties in the pool. No one cares what you do in your room, you dont need to hide who you are, or avoid PDAs here. We want you feel comfortable, but just because we owners are gay, it's not a sex club." Younger callers, who hadnt lived through the years when such places were more common, never asked.

 

So, I wouldnt choose a gay resort. I dont long for the bathhouses of old. I dont like the way small shopkeepers were displaced, but I dont resent the gentrification of the Castro neighborhood. I can acclimate as progress changes all aspects of society, without conforming. I'm perfectly fine that guys no longer stand naked in their doorways at Becks.

 

I only watched the first episode, and I dont know how accurately its depicted, but based on the series of the same name, you couldnt pay me to vacation on Fire Island. I stayed at Big Rubys in Key West in 2001... theres a reason its closed. Theres a reason Guerneville, CA, is transforming again, and becoming less gay.... theres a reasons that Jews no longer need the resorts of the Catskill Borscht Belt. We progress, we seek and gain acceptance. The safety in uniformity eventually become unnecessary.

 

Ive been with a group of gays on a non-charter cruise, and there was no problem. I've checked into the Hyatt with a guy, and had the room changed to a King from the two-doubles they'd assigned us - no raised eyebrows. Most socializing I do is with mixed gay & straight crowds.

 

Maybe if I lived somewhere less tolerant, I'd seek less inhibiting surroundings for vacation. But I'd probably just choose bigger cities, or more tolerant countries, without demanding all-gay.

 

The only reason I can think if for an all-gay property is sex. If thats a priority for my vacation, I'd prefer to figure out other means to achieve it than checking into someplace with a brothel-like atmosphere.

 

That said.... I dont eat at Chick Fil A. I wouldnt go to a resort if research told me it was owned by some religious fundamentalist, or if I'd heard they were unwelcoming.

[Deadlift1]

That's a problem. It is one of the reasons I do not stay at gay resorts anymore.

What didn't you understand?

[+ purplekow]

I have only stayed at a gay resort twice, on forum linked Palm Springs weekends. I would love to go to resorts elsewhere. I would pay a bit of a premium, but not so much as to limit my fun otherwise.

[rvwnsd]

I wouldn't stay at a gay "resort" over a resort that caters to everyone unless I wanted to stay in an environment where I could have sex outside of my room or where an escort could feel comfortable with showing up at my door naked. When I have stayed at a gay "resort," the accommodations were two-star while the prices were four- or five-star. To me, that's taking advantage of the community and I can't support that.

[Rudynate]

I wouldn't stay at a gay "resort" over a resort that caters to everyone unless I wanted to stay in an environment where I could have sex outside of my room or where an escort could feel comfortable with showing up at my door naked. When I have stayed at a gay "resort," the accommodations were two-star while the prices were four- or five-star. To me, that's taking advantage of the community and I can't support that.

 

 

Exactly - a flavor of self-oppression. My partner and I enjoy stays of three or four days at nice resorts. They're never gay.

[Bargara Leatherboy]

I have been known to - I like the idea that its a place where I can be myself, quite happy with a bit of nakedness around the pool. They do seem to be comfortable places and where they suit, ie facilities and price wise I am happy to stay in them. While I like the fact that we are accepted in many more places than we used to - I think there is still a time for just boys to gather. Its the common interests that bind us, like straight blokes having a football and beer night or straight woman having a cake and stiching party, or lesbians having a beer and fix the motorbike afternoon.. Stereotypes I know but sometimes they are comfortable

[+ WilliamM]

What didn't you understand?

 

As the OP, you can not completely control the thread. I understand you have good intentions.

[bigvalboy]

. When I have stayed at a gay "resort," the accommodations were two-star while the prices were four- or five-star. To me, that's taking advantage of the community and I can't support that.

 

+1

[+ ArVaGuy]

I agree with @Rudynate that gay resorts and other businesses often times deliver an inferior product for an exorbitant amount of money. The value proposition is just not worth it to me in most instances.

[+ Charlie]

When I was young and it was illegal to be gay, I found places like Cherry Grove and P-town incredibly liberating. When I was young and wanted my vacations to be filled with promiscuous sex, I wanted to go places where there were plenty of potential partners. Now I am old and the world and I have both changed. Although I avoid anti-gay vacation spots, I have no particular interest in going to all-gay resorts or restaurants.

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

I'll always support gay business, but realize that many new gen gay guys couldn't care less about 'staying gay' or living/working in the bubble.

 

I had tweeted this NYT article on my feed the other day. An interesting read, especially considering this conversation:

 

https://mobile.nytimes.com/2017/06/24/fashion/how-gay-should-a-gay-bar-be.html?smid=fb-share&referer=https://t.co/yYrCCAar0g

 

 

The times, they are a-changing

[LaffingBear]

I'll always support gay business, but realize that many new gen gay guys couldn't care less about 'staying gay' or living/working in the bubble.

 

I had tweeted this NYT article on my feed the other day. An interesting read, especially considering this conversation:

 

https://mobile.nytimes.com/2017/06/24/fashion/how-gay-should-a-gay-bar-be.html?smid=fb-share&referer=https://t.co/yYrCCAar0g

 

 

The times, they are a-changing

Good read, and very relevant. I may feel nostalgic about loss of gay-bars. I dont want to disregard small business owners, often people who were brave and harassed for maintaining their establishments, as they lose business. But progress happens... comes with some costs.

 

Im glad people want mixed gay-straight crowds in bars.... as long as gays remain fully welcome. I found bachelorette parties irritating at the strip club years ago, but the straight dancers loved it, and it kept the doors open. If a resort is truly welcoming, but I feel uncomfortable holding hands with my partner in the public area, that's my issue, not theirs.

 

Its one thing to pursue and demand equality; its something else to bemoan the loss of exclusivity and comfort-via-sameness that become unnecessary when acceptance is achieved.

[Rudynate]

I'll always support gay business, but realize that many new gen gay guys couldn't care less about 'staying gay' or living/working in the bubble.

 

I had tweeted this NYT article on my feed the other day. An interesting read, especially considering this conversation:

 

https://mobile.nytimes.com/2017/06/24/fashion/how-gay-should-a-gay-bar-be.html?smid=fb-share&referer=https://t.co/yYrCCAar0g

 

 

The times, they are a-changing

 

Of course I'm going to support gay businesses, assuming they provide products/services that I want and/or need.

[mike carey]

I'll always support gay business, but realize that many new gen gay guys couldn't care less about 'staying gay' or living/working in the bubble.

You make an important point, Benjamin. But there is a difference between gay-operated businesses and those that trade on being dedicated to a gay clientele, or even those that are gay friendly. Exclusivity has its place, but in most contexts acceptance is enough.

[rvwnsd]

I'll always support gay business, but realize that many new gen gay guys couldn't care less about 'staying gay' or living/working in the bubble. ...

 

 

Of course I'm going to support gay businesses, assuming they provide products/services that I want and/or need.

 

I support gay-owned businesses that 1) provide the products/services that I want/need and 2) do not use the label "gay-owned" as a pass to provide an inferior product or service. I do the same with woman-owned and ethnic- and racial-minority-owned businesses. In fact, I am sitting on a beautiful sofa that I bought at a furniture store in San Diego that is owned by a gay man. He was absolutely wonderful to do business with and sells beautiful merchandise at a very fair price. Had his store been opened ten years ago, my then-new condo would likely have been furnished there instead of at Macy's. The other gay-owned furniture store (which finally went out of business) was hideous. Their service was as poor as this gentleman's service is wonderful and their prices were outrageous.

[bigvalboy]

and 2) do not use the label "gay-owned" as a pass to provide an inferior product or service.

 

+1