Living together

[+ Charlie]

In the 1960s, my partner and I could only get short-term apartment leases, as "temporary roommates," in one case even having to pretend to a landlord that we were cousins. In 1971, we decided the solution was to buy a house, but the bank would not give a mortgage to two unrelated men; one of us had to take the mortgage, and the other became simply a "tenant." In 1983, we were able to buy a house as joint owners, but only as unrelated "tenants in common." In 2004, we were able to buy a house together as domestic partners, but with certain legal restrictions at the federal level. Now we are about to buy our first house as a legally married couple.

 

It has taken a half century, but we finally can do what our parents could do with no trouble in the 1930s.

[+ Funguy]

Many good wishes on your new adventure!

[Whitman]

Congratulations, Charlie. And thanks for sharing that. Your experience would likely be an eye-opener to a lot of straight folks who have taken their own prerogatives for granted and never considered the assorted challenges gay couples have faced without those same rights.

.

[MassageDrew]

That's great. I think it's the fear of the unknown and the lack of understanding is the major deterrent why most are not so easily accepting of others who do not share their idea of the norm.

[+ purplekow]

In the 1960s, my partner and I could only get short-term apartment leases, as "temporary roommates," in one case even having to pretend to a landlord that we were cousins. In 1971, we decided the solution was to buy a house, but the bank would not give a mortgage to two unrelated men; one of us had to take the mortgage, and the other became simply a "tenant." In 1983, we were able to buy a house as joint owners, but only as unrelated "tenants in common." In 2004, we were able to buy a house together as domestic partners, but with certain legal restrictions at the federal level. Now we are about to buy our first house as a legally married couple.

 

It has taken a half century, but we finally can do what our parents could do with no trouble in the 1930s.

 

Congratulation on your success and condolences on that long tortuous course you had to take to get there. But get there you did and I applaud you for it.

[MscleLovr]

Remarkable story. And it's interesting how countries differ. In the UK in 1983, I knew 2 young straight men who, rather than pay rent, wanted to buy a London apartment together. I advised them that they should tell the bank they were gay and immediately they were granted a mortgage loan.

[Mydavid]

Congratulations!

[+ Eric Hassan]

In the 1960s, my partner and I could only get short-term apartment leases, as "temporary roommates," in one case even having to pretend to a landlord that we were cousins. In 1971, we decided the solution was to buy a house, but the bank would not give a mortgage to two unrelated men; one of us had to take the mortgage, and the other became simply a "tenant." In 1983, we were able to buy a house as joint owners, but only as unrelated "tenants in common." In 2004, we were able to buy a house together as domestic partners, but with certain legal restrictions at the federal level. Now we are about to buy our first house as a legally married couple.

 

It has taken a half century, but we finally can do what our parents could do with no trouble in the 1930s.

 

Thank you for sharing this. I hope you find a way to document it for a larger audience. I think it's really important to document our history through the telling of our stories.

[mike carey]

In 1983, we were able to buy a house as joint owners, but only as unrelated "tenants in common."

This prompted me to think about some of our rights and the lenses through which we see them in a different way. In the narrow sphere of property ownership there have long been ways for two 'unrelated' people to co-own property. The idea that allowing a gay couple to co-own a house 50 years ago would have been a new and undesirable development was a fiction. What wasn't a fiction was the homophobic notion that two people could be denied ownership to which they were otherwise entitled simply because they were in a gay relationship. The use of some unlegislated 'morality' to trump a legal right was an example of the homophobia of the day. (Convincing a bank that offering a mortgage to such a couple was an acceptable risk is a separate issue.)

 

In Australian law under tenancy in common each party owns a proportion of the property, and they can sell or will their share to anyone else without reference to the other owner. This is not ideal for a couple as it leaves all sorts of openings for the vindictive relatives of a deceased partner (not as bad as it would have been if the sole owner was the one who died). The other type of shared title here is joint tenancy, where title is indivisible but shared, and a survivor automatically becomes sole owner. There is nothing that can be willed to another person. It seems that this right we have been seeking from marriage was there all the time. What we are seeking is actually the right to access it over objections based on who we love.

 

Sorry for the tangent!

[+ jeezopete]

I agree with Eric. As I was reading I thought, "Wow, what a huge history lesson in that single post."

And a testament to the perseverance of two committed souls.

[OneFinger]

In the 1960s, my partner and I could only get short-term apartment leases, as "temporary roommates," in one case even having to pretend to a landlord that we were cousins. In 1971, we decided the solution was to buy a house, but the bank would not give a mortgage to two unrelated men; one of us had to take the mortgage, and the other became simply a "tenant." In 1983, we were able to buy a house as joint owners, but only as unrelated "tenants in common." In 2004, we were able to buy a house together as domestic partners, but with certain legal restrictions at the federal level. Now we are about to buy our first house as a legally married couple.

 

It has taken a half century, but we finally can do what our parents could do with no trouble in the 1930s.

 

Change is happening at a very slow rate.