Am I Being Too Sensitive?

[MartyB]

As an escort, I don't want to "ruin" the experience by counting money in front of the client, but I also don't want to be short-changed and find out after I've left. On the first visit, I always appreciate it when my client either verbally confirms the rate when he pays, takes @ArVaGuy's approach and counts the money in front of me, or takes the approach of @nycman and offers the money then excuses himself for a moment. Once this transaction goes smoothly the first time, I feel much more assured and am not likely to count the money in front of the client.

 

That's me, and your provider may have his own reasons, but I don't think it's something to take personally. It was your first visit and, as providers, that first visit is our time to vet you as a real-life client, just as it's your opportunity to test us out in real life. A little extra caution - on both parts - is warranted and not personal. If you enjoyed the experience, let that be the thing that sticks with you.

For a new escort I have no issues counting out the money. I get it and it's not insulting at all. Sex = business. With established escorts who I've been seeing on a regular basis it's never counted. I just have to make sure I remember to give it as I'm usually quite happy and elated so always count out the money first and lay it down and I always have to "piss" anyway. Lol

[LADoug1]

My usual routine is to hand the envelope to the escort as I excuse myself to "freshen up." I always invite the escort to go ahead and open the envelope and count it for two reason: 1) I may have made a mistake; 2) he can't say later that I shortchanged him. I was pleasantly surprised last weekend when the escort said: "No, I trust you" and put the envelope in his pocket. Not only did I have a good time with this young man, he earned my respect. (P.S. I had actually given him a big tip which I hope was a pleasant surprise for him later.)

Another good solution!

[+ oldNbusted]

I didn't realize this was something people would be self-concious about. I remember my first time like it was yesterday (perhaps because it was yesterday), I just counted out the money and handed it to him, he didn't seem put out by it. I guess it's just the peasant in me...

[Rod Hagen]

I always count the money out of my wallet and hand it to my masseur. I don't want to short him accidentally by just handing him an envelope that somehow might have the wrong amount in it. I'm not insulted by people doing that. In fact, sometimes when people have left an envelope in an "obvious" place I haven't noticed I wonder as they're leaving, "is there an envelope I'm not seeing, or do I have to remind him" which makes us all feel silly. You can hand the money over, it's not tacky, at least I don't think so.

[BasketBaller]

I usually hand him the envelope and urge him to count it to make I didn't make a mistake. Almost no one ever has.

[corymonroe]

Experience has taught me that a cash business requires a more open attitude towards dealing with money. My business accepts cash payments, especially for actor headshots, and I can't tell you how many mistakes have been made through the years. Most have been honest mistakes, while others have been questionable. Some people have awful intentions. No service provider should be forced to endure a human counting error, especially when his pay gets cut as a result.

 

Out of respect for people who don't know any better, if I hand someone an envelope of bills, I specifically ask them to count them in front of me. This immediately dissolves any potential for discomfort.

[Rod Hagen]

And you absolutely can't let insult or anger be your first reaction. Just assume they've made a mistake and to keep things friendly and accurate be sure to mention it, gently, rather than let it pass.

[down_to_business]

I would not take offense, especially if a first meeting. If counting is going to happen, however, I would definitely want it to happen in front of me. My "offense taken" scenario would be if the escort counted the money outside of my presence and then claim to me I shorted them. I only say this because I am an auditor by profession and I can not help myself of auditing the escort payment before sealing it in an envelope a minimum of 3-5 times. I would have a very hard time believing I made a mistake and failed to catch my mistake after no less than 3 separate checks. Opening the sealed envelope and counting it in front of me, would add credibility to this unlikely event. If the escort went off and say, counted it behind a closed restroom door... and then came out and claimed I shorted him- I would probably say nothing, pay him his claimed missing fee... but in the back of my mind he would have blown his credibility with me and would forever in my mind be someone who "took a shot" aka stole from me-- never to be hired again!

 

So count away(preferably in my presence) if you want to... business is business.. give me a receipt if it makes you happy

[Bearman]

Long time forum reader...first time poster.

 

Having hired many times over the past two years, I had something occur recently that I do know what to make of (since its never happened to me before).

 

Recently, at the conclusion of a first time meeting with a NYC escort, I gave him the envelope with his donation and he took it out and proceeded to count it right in front of me. I felt insulted by such behavior. Am I off base?

 

What do you think?

 

 

Well many men in "the business" these day don't know how to conduct business as Gentlemen. (These things just aren't taught anymore and there are so few roll models). I've often said that with the demise of the street and bar scene we now have "cheap" hustlers charging escort/courtesan prices when they advertise on the same sites! Now that said, many customers also don't know how to conduct themselves as Gentlemen either. Short-changing any man for any type of service is of such poor taste and low. So hence here we are.

[+ quoththeraven]

Long time forum reader...first time poster.

 

Having hired many times over the past two years, I had something occur recently that I do know what to make of (since its never happened to me before).

 

Recently, at the conclusion of a first time meeting with a NYC escort, I gave him the envelope with his donation and he took it out and proceeded to count it right in front of me. I felt insulted by such behavior. Am I off base?

 

What do you think?

 

I would not be insulted if it happened to me. A first-time client is as much of an unknown to an escort as the escort to the client. Also there's always the possibility of a mistake - not very likely in my case because the cash goes directly from a bank envelope to the envelope I hand to the escort, but the escort has no way of knowing that.

[Nvr2Thick]

One of the first escorts I met called me back after our encounter insisting I had shorted his fee. I had been sure that I had paid correctly, including a tip. The escort didn't really deserve a tip; he was aloof, very stingy with affection, and seemed in a rush to get me off so that he could end the session. Anyway, I had carefully counted his fee and tip prior to the session, and I had separated it off in my wallet by using a business card. When he called accusing me of ripping him off I checked my wallet, and the funds remaining were as I expected. It's unlikely that I made a mistake. My best guess is that this guy used the ambiguity to accuse me of shorting him, since we didn't mutually confirm the transaction. I did end up driving back into Manhattan from NJ to meet him on a corner and pay what he claimed I owed.

 

These days I present fee and tip in an obvious manner so that both I and the escort have effectively verified the count. Maybe it would spoil the mood for some, but I try to present it in a way that expresses gratitude for our time together. Mutual confirmation protects both escort and client.

Edited March 2, 2017 by Nvr2Thick

[YoungAD]

Long time forum reader...first time poster.

 

Having hired many times over the past two years, I had something occur recently that I do know what to make of (since its never happened to me before).

 

Recently, at the conclusion of a first time meeting with a NYC escort, I gave him the envelope with his donation and he took it out and proceeded to count it right in front of me. I felt insulted by such behavior. Am I off base?

 

What do you think?

 

I have asked many escorts to please count their fee to make sure it is accurate. I would look at this as a way to establish trust and to feel relieved that both sides were taken care of, rather than insulted.

[Mydavid]

I usually prepare some large bills for payment so it is easy to count only by eyes. I also prepare some changes for the tip. I will separate them, and say, this is for your time, this is for your kiss...

[BabyBoomer]

I usually prepare some large bills for payment so it is easy to count only by eyes.

 

Nothing like using Benjamins.

 

~ Boomer ~

[+ purplekow]

This is why, if they will take a check, I use a check. Not all will do it, but many will.

[+ friendofsheila]

"Am I being too sensitive?"

 

I'd almost never answer "yes" if someone asked me this question.

 

This being your first time encountering this, it's just something you're unready to handle right now. If you hire a variety of escorts over more time and it probably won't make you feel uncomfortable eventually.

[LADoug1]

I usually count the money before putting it in my wallet folded to distinguish it from other cash. I also count it again in front of the escort after our session. For repeats I sometimes give it to them in an envelope.

[MassageDrew]

Long time forum reader...first time poster.

 

Having hired many times over the past two years, I had something occur recently that I do know what to make of (since its never happened to me before).

 

Recently, at the conclusion of a first time meeting with a NYC escort, I gave him the envelope with his donation and he took it out and proceeded to count it right in front of me. I felt insulted by such behavior. Am I off base?

 

What do you think?

 

Don't take it personal. He may have been swindled before so he's making sure you paid him what he's owed at least. Frankly I prefer me masseur to count it before I left or I do the counting in front of him. It's actually more common for the masseur to feel bad . But it is a business transacrion however you look at it.

[Bearman]

You should not feel insulted. Business is business.

 

But their are ways a Gentlemen conducts business, though I admit manners and etiquette have lost their value and no longer transmitted to these younger generations. And the Escort also doesn't appreciate being treated as a piece of meat! So "business is business" but not every buy/sell transaction is the same nor sould be conducted as such.

[+ sync]

But their are ways a Gentlemen conducts business, though I admit manners and etiquette have lost their value and no longer transmitted to these younger generations. And the Escort also doesn't appreciate being treated as a piece of meat! So "business is business" but not every buy/sell transaction is the same nor sould be conducted as such.

 

I understand your sensitivities, but the op stated that it was a first-time meeting with the escort, which I presumed to mean that they had not yet engendered a mutual trust. Other than openly counting his fee funds I didn't notice anything in the post that suggested the escort was lacking in manners/etiquette in any other way.

[+ oldNbusted]

My feeling is companionship is a valuable service and in no way should making agreed upon payments be an opportunity for a client to make an escort feel belittled, I hope no one is intentionally doing that. Of course people may feel awkward at first, just be honest with each other and I want to believe the feeling will pass. There are enough people in the general public to want to dump on providers and clients, it seems like we don't need over critical of each other on top of that.

[Bearman]

I understand your sensitivities, but the op stated that it was a first-time meeting with the escort, which I presumed to mean that they had not yet engendered a mutual trust. Other than openly counting his fee funds I didn't notice anything in the post that suggested the escort was lacking in manners/etiquette in any other way.

 

You obviously didn't understand what I mean by manners/etiquette therefor missed my point. Sometimes I forget we don't all have the same background and schooling in ways of the world. Alas, I'm a dinosaur doomed for extinction with my fellow peers. Ultimately most feel it doesn't really matter if he counts his money or not in front of the client these days, so I guess it doesn't. Customs and values change. I actually offer him a face-saving route by telling him when he picks up his fee "You may count it" so he feels comfortable doing so. Surprisingly most times they don't and trust me! As I mentioned before in another post, it is low, of poor taste and ill-bred to shortchange any man for any reason when a price has been agreed upon. I have no more to add to this subject. Feel free to keep beating a dead horse.

Edited March 8, 2017 by Bearman

[+ sync]

You obviously didn't understand what I mean by manners/etiquette therefor missed my point. Sometimes I forget we don't all have the same background and schooling in ways of the world. Alas, I'm a dinosaur doomed for extinction with my fellow peers. Ultimately most feel it doesn't really matter if he counts his money or not in front of the client these days, so I guess it doesn't. Customs and values change. I actually offer him a face-saving route by telling him when he picks up his fee "You may count it" so he feels comfortable doing so. Surprisingly most times they don't and trust me! As I mentioned before in another post, it is low, of poor taste and ill-bred to shortchange any man for any reason when a price has been agreed upon. I have no more to add to this subject. Feel free to keep beating a dead horse.

 

I'm sure you have a much better possibility of avoiding extinction from occasional social slights than the dinosaurs had avoiding the theoretical comet/asteroid impact or massive volcanism.

 

I perceived from your statement "I actually offer him a face-saving route by telling him when he picks up his fee "You may count it" so he feels comfortable doing so," that it is not the act of counting the funds in your presence that would offend you, it is the act of counting the funds in your presence without your permission to do so that would offend you.

 

You are correct in citing that customs and values change, and I encourage you to stand your ground for manners and etiquette rather than thinking of yourself as a doomed dinosaur.

 

My final lash to the "dead horse" is my original comment to the op regarding the escort's counting his funds: You should not feel insulted. Business is business.

[Bearman]

I'm sure you have a much better possibility of avoiding extinction from occasional social slights than the dinosaurs had avoiding the theoretical comet/asteroid impact or massive volcanism.

 

I perceived from your statement "I actually offer him a face-saving route by telling him when he picks up his fee "You may count it" so he feels comfortable doing so," that it is not the act of counting the funds in your presence that would offend you, it is the act of counting the funds in your presence without your permission to do so that would offend you.

 

You are correct in citing that customs and values change, and I encourage you to stand your ground for manners and etiquette rather than thinking of yourself as a doomed dinosaur.

 

My final lash to the "dead horse" is my original comment to the op regarding the escort's counting his funds: You should not feel insulted. Business is business.

 

Again, you didn't understand and you still don't. Sigh...

[+ sync]

Again, you didn't understand and you still don't. Sigh...

 

Might it be your communication/comprehension abilities? Have as nice a day as you can.