Too soft for this hobby?

[+ glennnn]

I have now been hiring escorts for just over a year, and every one has been a joy. Thank you to Dane, Nate, Lance, Steven, Rod and Tristan for teaching this inexperienced old boy the pleasures to be found in men fucking men. My problem is although I love you all, I can't see you all on a regular basis and some exclusionary selection becomes necessary as I continue to add new names to my list of lovers. I know you are businessmen and used to a one or two time only hook up, but I feel badly when I don't rehire one of you because an Eric Hassan catches, and transfixes my erotic desire for a new sexual partner. The last thing I want is to disrespect my previous escorts. Do other clients think about this? I'm like a kid in a candy store worrying that the Hershey Kisses are going to be sad because I chose the Jordan Almonds this time. Ridiculous!!! But I thank and respect you all so much, that I can't stop worrying about it. Maybe I'm just to soft for this hobby. Or, OTOH, maybe my escorts don't even notice.

[Rudynate]

You have to do it in a way that's right for you. I'm not interested in spending time with one man after another, so I dont. If you're feeling uncomfortable with what you're doing, you need to examine it. Be wary of developing an inflated idea of your importance to any single escort.

[jjkrkwood]

It's a free, open markletplace, and I am sure the boys know it. While they may seem friendly, and you may feel some kind of bond, I would think their bottom line is income, from whomever it comes. Sometimes you might want a hoagie, and sometimes you might feel like having sushi. For us jewish guys, Saturday we usually eat Italian, or you might just crave a nice, juicy Burger. Dont worry bout it and have what you want ...... If you are "too soft" for this hobby, just double up on Viagra.

[instudiocity]

you know what i was thinking about this recently, whenever a client hires me its a great feeling but when they choose to see me again, I'm thankful. They obviously don't have too and can spend their money in other ways. Its such an interesting dynamic... escorts see multiple guys while most clients see a considerable less amount of guys. I have some clients who just hire me and no one else, while others have me and a select group of other regulars. I sometimes have clients hire me again after a while and its good to catch up and see whats been going on. Escorting seems so simple from the outside but from inside it has so many interesting layers to it.

Enjoy those layers baby. Security comes from layering.

 

And get that awesome piece of tail out here on the West Coast cuz I need some YOU!

[dcguy20]

My issue is when my favortes visit DC all at the same time. I obviously can't see them all and feel bad that I have to choose.

[beachboy]

We as clients are the way working guys earn their living. Of course friendships & even relationships can develop but that's rare. I like to think that an escort would think well of me & during my last naked romp with a hot guy he said how much he enjoyed my visits. My reaction was 'Yeah right' but he looked me square in the eyes & said he meant it & I believe he did. However its still a professional arrangement albeit a hornier & more fun arrangement cos we click on more than 1 level but there are a lot of hot genuine escorts out there, including some awesome guys on this forum, to enjoy!

[+ OliverSaks]

I do notice when a somewhat regular stops contacting me, but I try not to take it too personally.

 

I realize that there are more inexpensive and younger and bigger dicked ... AND DIFFERENT escorts out there. One of the things I love about escorting is the novelty of partners and experiences; I completely understand that clients feel that way too, even those guys who say things like, "you're the hottest I've ever been with," but eventually stop hiring me in the future.

[beachboy]

I do notice when a somewhat regular stops contacting me, but I try not to take it too personally.

 

I realize that there are more inexpensive and younger and bigger dicked ... AND DIFFERENT escorts out there. One of the things I love about escorting is the novelty of partners and experiences; I completely understand that clients feel that way too, even those guys who say things like, "you're the hottest I've ever been with," but eventually stop hiring me in the future.

Have you considered that some clients who think you're the hottest stop hiring you because they realise they're getting too attached & are protecting their own emotions? Personally I'd keep hiring & enjoying the ride!

[+ OliverSaks]

Have you considered that some clients who think you're the hottest stop hiring you because they realise they're getting too attached & are protecting their own emotions? Personally I'd keep hiring & enjoying the ride!

Ohhhhh yes, I forgot that one.

I can think of at least a couple of cases of that in my history, but I don't believe that is the majority of cases.

[+ sync]

Maybe I'm just to soft for this hobby. Or, OTOH, maybe my escorts don't even notice.

 

Unfortunately, in much of today's society politeness, common courtesy, and mutual respect are perceived as weaknesses. I don't believe you are too soft at all, however, in this instance, your concern is misplaced.

[beachboy]

Oliver I'm sure in the majority of cases its because as men we're often horny sluts with short attention spans who wanna get it on with many hot guys as possible! Checking out your profile I'm sure you have a load of regular clients who can't get enough of you!

[down_to_business]

I think about this more than a lot. 2 escorts I stopped seeing died in 2016. One of the two, I had hoped to find my way back to at some point, but felt I had the time to do it. I can't help but wonder if I was still in his life, would things have happened the same. I can't help but wonder if my leaving his life, had any part, even a small one, in him not being here any more.

 

But just like we have different reasons for hiring, we have different reasons for stopping as well.

 

Was it something the escort said or did (i.e. he let his politics slip out into the conversation, I found out he supported a cause I was totally against and I just can't see him the same way)?

Do I have some unwritten rule (conscious or not) like you will see the same escort no more than 3 times or that I only see a guy once?

Am I starting to develop feelings for this person?

Did he raise his rates on me?

Did I find someone else that I wanted to try?

Did my financial situation change?

Do I feel he is starting to take me for granted?

 

And likewise as we see, some escorts seem to care more about us as clients than others do. Some take the time and care to say goodbye to their clients when they leave. Some disappear without a trace never to be seen or heard of again.

 

But, no, we are not signing lifetime contracts when we hire. If it is not fun and enjoyable anymore, it is time to move on. I at least try to give a regular the courtesy of saying goodbye when I will not hire them again, though.

[beachboy]

I am considering not hiring an escort again whom I really like & with whom I've had great times in the past. I always book 2 or 3 hours & book in advance & he's always said he only sees 1 client per day. Last time he had fitted another client immediately before me, which of course he has the right to do. However he had somewhat exhausted himself & the experience was less than stellar. I felt kinda let down & worry this might happen again & don't want to risk my hard earned money. It only takes 1 poor experience to ruin what was once a great arrangement.

[+ José Soplanucas]

My issue is when my favortes visit DC all at the same time. I obviously can't see them all and feel bad that I have to choose.

 

It should be law of the land that when such an event occurs, you can gather they all in an orgy and they have to take the task pro bono.

[beachboy]

It should be law of the land that when such an event occurs, you can gather they all in an orgy and they have to take the task pro bono.

Now that's a law I'd vote for!

[+ glennnn]

My issue is when my favortes visit DC all at the same time. I obviously can't see them all and feel bad that I have to choose.

 

Although I appreciate and enjoy all the responses to this thread, this one comes the closest to a direct answer to my original question. Thanks, DC guy! And I just realized I feel the same way when I change chiropracters. Guess I just like to worry! LOL!

[dcguy20]

Although I appreciate and enjoy all the responses to this thread, this one comes the closest to a direct answer to my original question. Thanks, DC guy! And I just realized I feel the same way when I change chiropracters. Guess I just like to worry! LOL!

You're welcome!

[+ Eric Hassan]

I have now been hiring escorts for just over a year, and every one has been a joy. Thank you to Dane, Nate, Lance, Steven, Rod and Tristan for teaching this inexperienced old boy the pleasures to be found in men fucking men. My problem is although I love you all, I can't see you all on a regular basis and some exclusionary selection becomes necessary as I continue to add new names to my list of lovers. I know you are businessmen and used to a one or two time only hook up, but I feel badly when I don't rehire one of you because an Eric Hassan catches, and transfixes my erotic desire for a new sexual partner. The last thing I want is to disrespect my previous escorts. Do other clients think about this? I'm like a kid in a candy store worrying that the Hershey Kisses are going to be sad because I chose the Jordan Almonds this time. Ridiculous!!! But I thank and respect you all so much, that I can't stop worrying about it. Maybe I'm just to soft for this hobby. Or, OTOH, maybe my escorts don't even notice.

 

Guilt is a useless emotion. (Thanks, New Order!)

 

I think we as humans tend to get all wonky about mixing business with pleasure and the meanings we attach to sex and love. It's perfectly OK to have fun while you're doing business. It's OK to love someone and choose someone else another time. It's never wrong to experience and share love. It's OK for your tastes and desires to change and it isn't wrong to follow your heart (and your penis). The advantage that you have with hiring is that you can freely give and enjoy pleasure and love and then it's not a personal thing if you choose something or someone else another time. If an escort were to take any of this personally, it would be on him, not you.

 

I will bet that most of us escorts agree that the best thing you can do is enjoy the time you spend with us, hire us when you want to spend time with us, love us for who we are, share yourself as much as you're comfortable, and then move on when the time is right.

[beachboy]

Mr Hassan you've put it perfectly. It is ok to love & then move on. The very nature of hiring is temporary. It can be once or multiple times but there's no permanent arrangement, so the best we can do is dive in, appreciate the guys we hire, have great sex with any we really connect with but realise that the chances are the day will come when the connection doesn't work so well & if & when that happens move on but with no regrets with no blame on either side. Sometimes to reconnect after a break can be awesome!

[big-n-tall]

You're definitely not soft at all mister. Most of us (clients and escorts alike) whether we at admit it or not get at least somewhat attached to the people we meet regularly. It doesn't necessarily happen to everyone, but it does happen. You shouldn't feel guilty because the escort knows its the nature of the business.

 

Honestly, every once and a while I'll see someone new. However, the guys I've truly connected with, I hire over and over (if I have the time and money). It's because i truly enjoy their company on many levels. Some have even retired, but we still talk, hang out, have sex (on and off the clock), or any combo of the 3.

 

I will say if you feel you are getting to emotionally attached and it continues to be a bother for you... step back from the hobby a bit and evaluate those feelings. You have to decide whether you can go forward meeting new guys and possibly leaving your favs behind. Either way, it's ok.

[MikeyGMin]

Try not to overthink it. All of the guys you mentioned our total pros and have large client bases. They don't take things personally. And most of us, even the financially comfortable ones, couldn't afford that many regulars anyways. Choices have to be made.

 

Another thing to consider. People have different definitions of what constitutes a "regular." For me, it's five or six sessions at a somewhat regular frequency whether it's weekly, bi-weekly or monthly. I can only afford one guy in this category with irregular sessions with travelers and others who pique my interest.

 

I have a really great client/escort relationship with my regular. I'm confident that he enjoys my company within the boundaries of that relationship, but I don't kid myself that he's going to lose any sleep if I stop calling. We all like to feel special, and there is no reason to keep reminding yourself that you are not -- unless it's causing you unreasonable guilt. That's the time to remind yourself that it's only business.

[+ purplekow]

Hiring escort is a smorgasbord of sex with hot men. Some are so delicious that you want to fill up your plate with encounters. Some look so good, you just have to sample, but the spice is not quite right or perhaps things are just not hot enough and so you are left less than optimally satisfied. Ultimately, the hot Italian sausage does not care that you are sampling the wonderfully nuanced Swedish meatball and the juicy lean beef Wellington does not resent that spicy Mexican burrito. Sometimes you are hungry and anything will do and sometimes you have a craving that only one will satisfy. For me, I want it all, the sausage, the balls, the beef and the hot Mexican but that does not mean that I would pass up the chance to have some coq au vin should the right coq come along.

 

 

 

When I had my own office, there were people who came to the office who I was always glad to see. There were some who were a pain in the ass but they still got my full attention and a sigh of relief when they left. There were some who showed up every once and again and with whom I had no special connection. I think it is safe to say that the escorts you have named as your current A team, have had hundreds of clients. For them, not every encounter has been memorable, in fact not every client has been memorable. I have had the dubious distinction of being treated as though we had never met by an escort I had hired three months prior. Hey the sex was even better the second time because it was "impress the new client" sex for him and angry sex for me. He greeted like and old friend on the third encounter.

So whether the escort thinks of you as an old friend, a tough client or just as a guy he saw once or twice before, as long as you are getting what you need, he is happy and so should you be.

[corymonroe]

The last thing I want is to disrespect my previous escorts.

When I'm traveling and I purchase a massage in a hotel, I have never asked myself if I'm disrespecting my masseur back at my NYC health club. Nor have I ever asked the question, is a service provider disrespecting me by accepting more than one customer?

[+ honcho]

I am considering not hiring an escort again whom I really like & with whom I've had great times in the past. I always book 2 or 3 hours & book in advance & he's always said he only sees 1 client per day. Last time he had fitted another client immediately before me, which of course he has the right to do. However he had somewhat exhausted himself & the experience was less than stellar. I felt kinda let down & worry this might happen again & don't want to risk my hard earned money. It only takes 1 poor experience to ruin what was once a great arrangement.

 

I think it would be a good idea to copy and paste all but the first and last sentence of that post in a message to your regular guy letting him know what your feelings are.

 

(The omitted sentences make it seem like too much of a threat. But if you do decide to book him again, I think you'ld be well within *your* rights to ask him to schedule you at a time when he's pretty darn sure he wouldn't feel obliged to schedule somebody right before you).

[beachboy]

I think it would be a good idea to copy and paste all but the first and last sentence of that post in a message to your regular guy letting him know what your feelings are.

 

(The omitted sentences make it seem like too much of a threat. But if you do decide to book him again, I think you'ld be well within *your* rights to ask him to schedule you at a time when he's pretty darn sure he wouldn't feel obliged to schedule somebody right before you).

Good advice Honcho. I might just do that. I really like him & don't want to seem like an unreasonably demanding client, rather just want the top notch experience he always previously supplied. Cheers fella.