Pay before or after?

[DMICS]

Had my first experience with an escort in October and it was amazing. The session was so good that I almost forgot to pay him before he left.

 

Since then I've been looking for my second experience with an escort but for various reasons it hasn't happened yet (mainly on my end). I came across two different ads, both guys are stunning, and both are asking to be paid upfront. I told both no because I've read many stories of the customer being jerked during the session. I know it happens in reverse also to escorts, so I just wanted to ask as a customer...

 

Pay before or after? I can't see myself paying before unless it's a really reputable escort

[Kevin Slater]

That you asked the question says that you have some reservations about paying upfront. Trust your gut.

 

Kevin Slater

[MikeyGMin]

A reasonable compromise if you really want to see them is tell them you will have the money ready in an envelope, show them, and then leave it to on a table.

 

You can give them the benefit of the doubt that they might have been ripped off in the past, but if they can't even accept having the money in a neutral location that is not a good sign. They are way too distrustful or have a reason to suspect you won't want to pay afterwards.

[Kevin Slater]

A reasonable compromise if you really want to see them is tell them you will have the money ready in an envelope, show them, and then leave it to on a table.

 

You can give them the benefit of the doubt that they might have been ripped off in the past, but if they can't even accept having the money in a neutral location that is not a good sign. They are way too distrustful or have a reason to suspect you won't want to pay afterwards.

 

I've never really understood what that accomplishes, from either side. If he underperforms, are you going to have the balls to grab the envelope back? If the client were out to cheat him, wouldn't an envelope full of ones do the trick?

 

I do agree that if he's unusually distrustful it's a sign that maybe he's had a hard time getting paid before and that maybe he doesn't deliver. Or maybe something about this particular client is hitting him as "off", both good reasons to find a different encounter.

 

Kevin Slater

[liubit]

This issue has been extensively, extensively discussed on this board, but I think it is always good to hear new voices. As of me, I never pay upfront.

[DMICS]

This issue has been extensively, extensively discussed on this board, but I think it is always good to hear new voices. As of me, I never pay upfront.

 

My fault. I should've done some digging on here before making my post. I'm def the type that if the encounter isn't pleasurable or something's off (doesn't look like the pics in an ad, lied about dick size). I'll either stop before things get started (and not pay), or give a partial payment.

[DMICS]

I've never really understood what that accomplishes, from either side. If he underperforms, are you going to have the balls to grab the envelope back? If the client were out to cheat him, wouldn't an envelope full of ones do the trick?

 

Yeah. Also depending on the situation/location, either party can take the envelope and run off.

[+ not2rowdy]

Discuss in advance. Maybe offer partial payment on arrival (or upon meeting for coffee) with the understanding the balance will be paid when the contracted services are completed.

[MikeyGMin]

I've never really understood what that accomplishes, from either side. If he underperforms, are you going to have the balls to grab the envelope back? If the client were out to cheat him, wouldn't an envelope full of ones do the trick?

 

Kevin Slater

 

I agree, but my thoughts were not really about the doing...more about the offer and his willingness to compromise. I would never engage a guy that was so mercenary or so distrustful that he couldn't entertain a compromise.

 

I have actually paid in advance two different times. Both were hotel in calls where I was surprised by the request, but still had a good vibe about the guy. Both times I took the money out of my pocket and laid it on the table. ($100 bills are easy to spot from a distance.) Both times worked out perfectly fine, but it can be a bit of a mood killer. Who knows what I would have done had the request been made before I was actually in the room.

[Kevin Slater]

I agree, but my thoughts were not really about the doing...more about the offer and his willingness to compromise. I would never engage a guy that was so mercenary or so distrustful that he couldn't entertain a compromise.

 

I have actually paid in advance two different times. Both were hotel in calls where I was surprised by the request, but still had a good vibe about the guy. Both times I took the money out of my pocket and laid it on the table. ($100 bills are easy to spot from a distance.) Both times worked out perfectly fine, but it can be a bit of a mood killer. Who knows what I would have done had the request been made before I was actually in the room.

 

Yeah, it also makes it sorta awkward to tip afterward.

 

Kevin Slater

[+ Truereview]

it can be a bit of a mood killer.

Bingo, @MikeyGMin!

I know I sound like a broken record but the currency in this hobby is emotions.

As a former escort, my looks were the entry ticket,

my skills were meant to sustain the experience,

but paramount to it all was how I made the client feel.

With that said, the experience and how a client feels is not solely up to the escort.

 

@DMICS, if paying upfront will affect your mood,

it behooves you to decline the meeting.

Share your rationale respectfully with the escort.

You might even be surprised by how many escorts will change their tune.

 

@Kevin Slater is right in saying to trust your instincts,

but most importantly, draw a hard line on the sand on your own protocol as a client.

You are an essential part of making that escort experience memorable- in a good way.

You know yourself best.

[+ quoththeraven]

I have never paid in advance, but I put the envelope with the money in it on a table or somewhere else in view at my first appointment, which was for three hours. I wanted the escort to feel confident about the financial arrangements.

[TopTierTop]

Had my first experience with an escort in October and it was amazing. The session was so good that I almost forgot to pay him before he left.

 

Since then I've been looking for my second experience with an escort but for various reasons it hasn't happened yet (mainly on my end). I came across two different ads, both guys are stunning, and both are asking to be paid upfront. I told both no because I've read many stories of the customer being jerked during the session. I know it happens in reverse also to escorts, so I just wanted to ask as a customer...

 

Pay before or after? I can't see myself paying before unless it's a really reputable escort

I have NEVER asked for money upfront and have NEVER had a client hesitate to pay me after. They happily pay me after. And that is the way I want it to be.

[+ 5280Dane]

I have had one take the money and leave (probably best) and those that do that are typically your backpage sort. I've never had anyone I've met off rentmen ask prior. Which is wise, as it means no tip. Although if they performed and you didn't have a great time, you still owe the rate. Don't tip, but not paying what was agreed upon is a lack of integrity and bad juju.

[+ kent]

When I was in my teens (late '70s) and traveling, my solution was to tear the money in half and give the escort the halves of the bills.

[+ glutes]

http://m4m-forum.org/threads/getting-serious-about-safety-and-money-upfront.116553/

[TennDan99]

I have had escorts ask for money upfront and I have complied. It always puts a negative feel on the encounter. It also pretty much guarantees no tip.

 

On the other hand, I tend to pay guys I see regularly upfront because I have forgotten to pay after a session and had to make arrangements later.

 

For me it depends on the circumstances. First meetings are often somewhat awkward and the upfront payment demand increases the awkwardness. Of course, first meetings are probably more likely to result in the escort being stiffed (pun intended)

[chasingfun]

I have always pay upfront. Ever since I've started hiring I always felt it was standard courtesy to do so. After reading this thread I realize it really depends on circumstances. To me, giving the money upfront just gets the transaction out of the way and leaves the rest of the time dedicated to the good stuff. Fortunately this has never been an issue because I mainly hire escorts who are well reviewed and have a stellar reputation. I suppose one must be more cautious if they are meeting someone who is not as well renowned.

 

Because I am on the younger side and people tell me I can be hard to predict, I fear I may make escorts think im not trustworthy just by my appearance so to reassure them I just always give the money upfront. I've only once had a truly bad escort experience where perhaps handing money first was not the best idea.

[pubic_assistance]

I have every expectation that my service provider is going to provide the service I requested the same way he should expect I am going to pay him. I leave the money on the counter according to the fee that was agreed upon. IF I am particularly "happy" at the end or the session went in a way I did not predict, but often occurs between two consenting adults. I THEN add additional funds to the payment as a "gift" to say thanks for a wonderful evening.

[+ Steve yabsley]

We all have tales of cautious we can tell, and eventually, everything happens (to someone). I am cautious (i.e., avoid) paying someone I haven't met before upfront. I have had 1 bad experience (paid upfront for an overnight, after an hour or so the guy goes to have a cigarette outside the hotel, I stay in the room, and he texts me sorry, he decided to leave). Not cool. In so many ways.

Now I am willing to leave the $$ out or in an envelop (especially for a first meeting) but I'm not letting both the guy and the $$ leave my sight until the end.

Hopefully @chasingfun you have better luck than me!

 

Cheers,

Steve

[pubic_assistance]

My attitude is...that if my chosen companion is willing to steal the money and run...I have chosen the WRONG companion. I only hire based on personality. Sketchy characters aren't appealing to me in the first place.

[Bargara Leatherboy]

Two of the hottest and most successful working men in my city insist on payment up front.

 

They always perform as required - and for the required time.

 

These guys I am fine paying up front for.

 

Other guys are total flakes.

 

There is no hard and set rule for this.

[Hungmixedboi88]

I've been paid up front before but I have never requested it. I have also had a couple clients be so dazed after our date that they almost forget to pay but it's never turned into any sort of hassle. If you pay up front awesome I'm still going to give you the same level of attention and "service" as I would if I received payment afterwards. And also good point about tipping, I would imagine a client would feel more likely to tip a little extra if they aren't being demanded to pay upfront

[ChrisWydeman]

For the escorts piece of mind I would say pay up front as long as they are well reviewed

[+ José Soplanucas]

I don't mind when I am asked for the money upfront if it is a first time. I would mind on the followings meetings, however it has never happened to me.