Seeking arrangements success!

[+ sniper]

Are you going to tell him why you are cancelling?

 

On an unrelated note, if you see the same picture on Grindr or Scruff as in a SA profile, would it be okay to ask on the app, "Hey are you on SA?" or do you think that would be bad?

[MikeBiDude]

Are you going to tell him why you are cancelling?

 

On an unrelated note, if you see the same picture on Grindr or Scruff as in a SA profile, would it be okay to ask on the app, "Hey are you on SA?" or do you think that would be bad?

Young Guys on Grindr have asked me before “did I see you on SA?”. But then they go on to assume a sugar daddy arrangement which is not what I browse Grindr for...

[FilmGeek]

Are you going to tell him why you are cancelling?

 

On an unrelated note, if you see the same picture on Grindr or Scruff as in a SA profile, would it be okay to ask on the app, "Hey are you on SA?" or do you think that would be bad?

 

I just told him that circumstances had changed and I was no longer available for meeting. I wished him luck, and he was very understanding.

[marylander1940]

I'm having feelings I've never felt before, which has made it difficult for me to think clearly. To lay it all out, I've been living with a man in his mid 20's for the last 9 months (since March), and I'm in my mid 50's. We met on Seeking Arrangements, and I'm helping him get a college degree. He's from South America on a student visa, valid for another 2-3 years (2021 if I'm recalling correctly). A little over a week ago, after his finals (he's a straight A student, at least for the time he's been with me), we flew to Puerto Vallarta, and at the end of a week, he flew back home for the holidays and I'm back in the States. We're meeting again a few days into the New Year in San Juan, PR, where we'll be taking a 12-day Caribbean cruise before his Spring term starts. My affection for him has grown tremendously during our time together, and he says his have as well. He's told me that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me, and we've even talked of marriage.

Part of what's confusing me is that during these 9 months, he's been going to the gym daily and becoming really ripped. Part of me almost wished he didn't, because he doesn't need to be so handsome, and he's turned into a near-perfect specimen. I don't understand why I've felt so head-over-heels in love with him. Is it truly because my love for him as a person has grown? Or is it his new physique? When we were first together, I often tried to sneak in a Levitra or Cialis if I thought we were going to have sex in order to make things easier, but now I feel absolutely no need for any such assistance, and the sex has been leaving me in a trance that I imagine heroin addicts must get when they shoot up. In the two days since we were apart, I couldn't even jack off to my very extensive porn collection (I tried), and had to look at my pictures of him.

In the past I've complimented him on both his intelligence and looks, saying things like "You're such a wonderful combination of brains and beauty!". Early in our trip, though, he was in his swimsuit on our ocean-view balcony and I said "Wow, you're really beautiful!" and he responded somewhat unhappy, however, stating "Unicorn, I don't appreciate your objectifying me!". What do you think? Were my comments too objectifying and one-dimensional? Is this not a nice or appropriate thing to say to a man you love?

 

This is what the ideal S.A. arrangement should be!

 

Congratulations @Unicorn should we save the date already?

[tennisjock]

It's not so much a need for discretion, as it is for respect for the grandpa. This nice older mormon guy went out of his way to help me in the business twenty years ago, setting me up with knowledge and contacts that have made me very successful. I don't feel I would be repaying his kindness by using the success he handed me for hireing his grandson for sex. Not that he judges me, and I don't judge the grandsons actions, it's just not an arrangement that would sit well with a man I really do respect, so it's off the table. Its too bad too, the guy is really hot.

That is a little close to home but I always remember every guy out there that could be available is someone’s son, brother, husband and or grandson. He could end up being a awesome find however so the question is if the risk is worth the reward and and u looking for a LTR or just a fling etc

[+ Keith30309]

I never cease to be amazed (at my inability to accurately read people).

 

1) I was messaged by a cute SA guy a few weeks ago... lots of sexual innuendo and pretty overt discussion about likes and dislikes. We meet... good vibe and more overt flirting... get to his sofa and start to play and he's suddenly become a chaste virgin ("I'm not comfortable with that"... "that" being pretty basic touching).

 

2) Met a guy Thursday after some somewhat detached messaging. A very preppy, clean-cut looking guy... family lives in wealthy area. etc. He changed the subject whenever I hinted at anything physical. I figured 'what the hell' and met him. Nice, generic conversation for about an hour. He came across as a nice, reserved guy. He asks me if I've gotten any text messages. Confused, I check my phone and theres a text from him he apparently sent from the restroom: "I'd like to go back to my place and have sex". Confusion ensued. I ended up following him to another apartment close by and there was one of those key lockboxes on the doorknob. he punches in the code, gets the key, we go in and play. Turns out the apartment is one that belongs to a friend who let's him (and others) use for hookups. I never saw that coming from the preppy choirboy.

 

 

(PS: favorite SA quote of the day - "If you are what you eat then I guess im (sic) an asshole. Don’t really know what else to put here so any questions just ask!")

(PPS: I'm becoming increasingly frustrated by SA's profile censorship. I have some very mild, vague wording in my profile (e.g., "... versatile" is the most overt word in there) and it gets rejected over and over for TOS violations. Meanwhile, I see SB profiles with overt mention of specific acts for money... and occasionally erection pics slip thru. They obviously have different criterion for SB/SD profile content. Very frustrating.)

[kko123]

I never cease to be amazed (at my inability to accurately read people).

 

1) I was messaged by a cute SA guy a few weeks ago... lots of sexual innuendo and pretty overt discussion about likes and dislikes. We meet... good vibe and more overt flirting... get to his sofa and start to play and he's suddenly become a chaste virgin ("I'm not comfortable with that"... "that" being pretty basic touching).

 

2) Met a guy Thursday after some somewhat detached messaging. A very preppy, clean-cut looking guy... family lives in wealthy area. etc. He changed the subject whenever I hinted at anything physical. I figured 'what the hell' and met him. Nice, generic conversation for about an hour. He came across as a nice, reserved guy. He asks me if I've gotten any text messages. Confused, I check my phone and theres a text from him he apparently sent from the restroom: "I'd like to go back to my place and have sex". Confusion ensued. I ended up following him to another apartment close by and there was one of those key lockboxes on the doorknob. he punches in the code, gets the key, we go in and play. Turns out the apartment is one that belongs to a friend who let's him (and others) use for hookups. I never saw that coming from the preppy choirboy.

 

 

(PS: favorite SA quote of the day - "If you are what you eat then I guess im (sic) an asshole. Don’t really know what else to put here so any questions just ask!")

(PPS: I'm becoming increasingly frustrated by SA's profile censorship. I have some very mild, vague wording in my profile (e.g., "... versatile" is the most overt word in there) and it gets rejected over and over for TOS violations. Meanwhile, I see SB profiles with overt mention of specific acts for money... and occasionally erection pics slip thru. They obviously have different criterion for SB/SD profile content. Very frustrating.)

Was there a predetermined arrangement to reward the preppy choirboy?

[marylander1940]

I never cease to be amazed (at my inability to accurately read people).

 

1) I was messaged by a cute SA guy a few weeks ago... lots of sexual innuendo and pretty overt discussion about likes and dislikes. We meet... good vibe and more overt flirting... get to his sofa and start to play and he's suddenly become a chaste virgin ("I'm not comfortable with that"... "that" being pretty basic touching).

 

2) Met a guy Thursday after some somewhat detached messaging. A very preppy, clean-cut looking guy... family lives in wealthy area. etc. He changed the subject whenever I hinted at anything physical. I figured 'what the hell' and met him. Nice, generic conversation for about an hour. He came across as a nice, reserved guy. He asks me if I've gotten any text messages. Confused, I check my phone and theres a text from him he apparently sent from the restroom: "I'd like to go back to my place and have sex". Confusion ensued. I ended up following him to another apartment close by and there was one of those key lockboxes on the doorknob. he punches in the code, gets the key, we go in and play. Turns out the apartment is one that belongs to a friend who let's him (and others) use for hookups. I never saw that coming from the preppy choirboy.

 

 

(PS: favorite SA quote of the day - "If you are what you eat then I guess im (sic) an asshole. Don’t really know what else to put here so any questions just ask!")

(PPS: I'm becoming increasingly frustrated by SA's profile censorship. I have some very mild, vague wording in my profile (e.g., "... versatile" is the most overt word in there) and it gets rejected over and over for TOS violations. Meanwhile, I see SB profiles with overt mention of specific acts for money... and occasionally erection pics slip thru. They obviously have different criterion for SB/SD profile content. Very frustrating.)

 

 

I'm sure you were helpful with his daddy issues!

 

Are there any chubby chasers on S.A.?

[+ Keith30309]

Was there a predetermined arrangement to reward the preppy choirboy?

 

We had messaged only in general, hypothetical terms about a weekly allowance. Our encounter was brief but I was surprised at how casual he was about everything including wanting to BB (I declined). He never mentioned anything about it but after I left he messaged me several times back and forth about our meeting frequency and allowance amount. He said he has very high student loans. It was all very unexpected.

[+ Keith30309]

I'm sure you were helpful with his daddy issues!

 

Are there any chubby chasers on S.A.?

I have seen occasional references to “big” and “bearish” daddies.

[fedssocr1]

I have several unread messages sitting in my mailbox. I am considering paying the fee again to give it another go. One guy who messaged me is also on PlanetRomeo in the Hunqz section so I messaged him there but he hasn't read it yet.

[fedssocr1]

All I can say is "wow!" Who's paying this guy $500/hr to not have sex?

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/what-its-like-to-be-a-sugar-baby_n_5acfd2d3e4b016a07e9aa2c4?fbclid=IwAR156OA6hGh7Hk2PXFWz-oKpDjRVk09hXJZ2sRD2Be4KTzV0gbeN6LfZSwg

 

Oops. I just noticed this story is almost a year old. So...sorry if it was already discussed!

[+ oldNbusted]

Seeking gets mentioned in this PBS Newhour segment from last week, as an example of the commoditization of relationships:

 

[MscleLovr]

Seeking gets mentioned in this PBS Newhour segment from last week, as an example of the commoditization of relationships:

 

 

I feel Seeking is Capitalism in the raw, rather than Socialism ;-)

[sexymonk]

I feel Seeking is Capitalism in the raw, rather than Socialism ;-)

True! Through seeking humans are treated as commodity!

[studchaser]

All I can say is "wow!" Who's paying this guy $500/hr to not have sex?

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/what-its-like-to-be-a-sugar-baby_n_5acfd2d3e4b016a07e9aa2c4?fbclid=IwAR156OA6hGh7Hk2PXFWz-oKpDjRVk09hXJZ2sRD2Be4KTzV0gbeN6LfZSwg

 

Oops. I just noticed this story is almost a year old. So...sorry if it was already discussed!

 

honestly those are my thoughts for most of the escorts i ever see listed. it is,only the rare few imo who ever should even comnand the more typical 200 to 300 hr. Most of those tried and true rare stud muffins are probably working in a gym somewhere or in dead end blue collar jobs clueless to the opportunity they could have.

[marylander1940]

honestly those are my thoughts for most of the escorts i ever see listed. it is,only the rare few imo who ever should even comnand the more typical 200 to 300 hr. Most of those tried and true rare stud muffins are probably working in a gym somewhere or in dead end blue collar jobs clueless to the opportunity they could have.

 

Maybe they don’t have the stomach to escort!

 

When you were in your 20s did you enjoy looking at older men at the gym’s locker room?

 

Even if your fantasy is just to service them some guys just can’t do it unless they are attracted to the other guy

[+ WilliamM]

Maybe they don’t have the stomach to escort!

 

When you were in your 20s did you enjoy looking at older men at the gym’s locker room?

 

Even if your fantasy is just to service them some guys just can’t do it unless they are attracted to the other guy

 

In my 20s, I would not be able to have have sex frequently with older men.

 

Thanks, @marylander1940

[MikeBiDude]

In my 20s, I would not be able to have have sex frequently with older men.

 

Thanks, @marylander1940

But...with patience I’ve found an amazing number of young men in their 20’s who truly appreciate mature men like myself. And not always as an arrangement$

[+ WilliamM]

Seeking gets mentioned in this PBS Newhour segment from last week, as an example of the commoditization of relationships:

 

 

I wish she more time to explain her book. And there could been less concentration on Beñjamin Franklin and the Penn campus, an high tuition university.

[marylander1940]

But...with patience I’ve found an amazing number of young men in their 20’s who truly appreciate mature men like myself. And not always as an arrangement$

 

Some young men truly like older men, there are even chubby chasers out there who are just not attracted to guys in shape.

 

To each his own! Imagine if we all liked the same kind of guy...

[+ oldNbusted]

I got down with more than a few older and overweight guys in my youth, it wasn't a big deal. I concur with the idea that it's more about confidence and personality, which is funny since I don't have either.

Edited January 8, 2019 by oldNbusted

[+ oldNbusted]

I wish she more time to explain her book. And there could been less concentration on Beñjamin Franklin and the Penn campus, an high tuition university.

 

Sadly, C-SPAN Booknotes is no more, so how about this hour of Q&A?

 

[fedssocr1]

I have a bit of a dilemma. Messaged with a guy whose profile pic is a very sexy torso. He has many private photos that he unlocked for me. The problem is that they look like they're not all the same person. And it's impossible to tell if any of them match the body in the profile. How do you proceed in such a situation? He says he's 21, Asian.

[Bearman]

I have a bit of a dilemma. Messaged with a guy whose profile pic is a very sexy torso. He has many private photos that he unlocked for me. The problem is that they look like they're not all the same person. And it's impossible to tell if any of them match the body in the profile. How do you proceed in such a situation? He says he's 21, Asian.

 

Sadly this is an issue that seems to plagues every web site with profiles, especially among gay men. As a rule of thumb, if I suspect pictures are not of the same person, I opt for having nothing to do with the person. In my reasoning if the person misrepresents himself then he is by nature a dishonest person and hiding something. It may be something as simple as his looks, but the real him is what you'll be stuck with and not the photos person. Fake/stolen photos are bait and they are hoping to pull that over on people to achieve their propose. I'd move on for there are always lots other yet to be met!

Edited January 9, 2019 by Bearman