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Would you rather overweight clients inform you about their expectations before meeting?

marylander1940

By marylander1940
in Questions About Hiring

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Rudynate Grand Master

Rudynate

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Late middle age (or early old age) is an interesting territory to negotiate. You have to be careful not to give in to the pressure to apologize for getting old and to stay out of the way of younger people. But you also have to not delude yourself about the fact, that yes, you really are getting old. "Aging gracefully" cuts two ways. It can mean behaving the way other people think you should be acting at your age, or it can mean being the best you can be, for your age. I was more than 60 years old when I got my first tattoo. I realized I was finally old enough to get tattooed if I felt like it. A youngish straight guy who I am friendly with asked me if I might be having a mid-life crisis. I just smiled, shrugged my shoulders and said, "Could be."

 

Another thought that just occurred to me is that people don't necessarily become wiser as they age. Client #1, at least in the area of sexual prowess, may not have been getting any wiser than the 20-somethings he was emulating, while client #2 had come to terms with his limitations. This conversation reminds me a bit of my mother. As a young adult, I came to realize she was extremely status-conscious - always concerned with knowing the right people, having the right job, living in the right part of town, having the right silverware, etc. and she was extremely dissatisfied because there was so much about our life that wasn't "right." I assumed that as she got older she would become wiser, stop pressuring herself and achieve some peace of mind. She never did - just craved status and its trappings more and more the older she got.

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purplekow Grand Master

+ purplekow

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Posted
Another thought that just occurred to me is that people don't necessarily become wiser as they age. Client #1, at least in the area of sexual prowess, may not have been getting any wiser than the 20-somethings he was emulating, while client #2 had come to terms with his limitations. This conversation reminds me a bit of my mother. As a young adult, I came to realize she was extremely status-conscious - always concerned with knowing the right people, having the right job, living in the right part of town, having the right silverware, etc. and she was extremely dissatisfied because there was so much about our life that wasn't "right." I assumed that as she got older she would become wiser, stop pressuring herself and achieve some peace of mind. She never did - just craved status and its trappings more and more the older she got.
As we get older, we get to be more of who we are. For better or worse.
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rvwnsd Grand Master

rvwnsd

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I like to get massages, and I'm overweight. I disclose my weight as some massage tables will not support both my weight and the weight of the masseur. Disclosing my weight allows the masseur to prepare for a massage on a mat or bed.

I'm going to get all woo-woo Coastal Southern California here, so feel free to skip this statement if that sort of thing is an irritant.

 

I find it interesting that you use the word "disclose" in relation to yourself. To me, it speaks of shame and guilt. How about tweaking the sentence and use the word "share" instead?

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stevenkesslar Grand Master

+ stevenkesslar

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Posted (edited)
BTW, Steven, you could have used my name. LOL. My guess is there are a lot of men who have partaken of your services who fall into the category of self aware, less than perfect and loving life. You are lucky to have them and they are lucky to have had you, in a variety of positions in a variety of locations throughout the day and night.

 

Geez, what made you think I was referring to you? I guess you must have a lot of self-confidence or something. ;) Anyhoo, yes I am lucky.

 

Reading this thread is kind of weird. Somewhere along the way it got reversed. It started as a simple question: should a client disclose he's overweight? I answered yes. At some point it got reinterpreted into sounding like it was a demand on the escort's part.

 

I'll stick with my original yes. I have been hired multiple times by overweight clients who made a point of stressing they were overweight in their initial contact with me, usually written. Not everyone has the self-confidence of PK. When i asked them about it, the particular clients I'm thinking of told me it was demoralizing for them to have been repeatedly rejected by escorts at the beginning of an appointment because of their weight. They responded to those experiences by going almost overboard in stressing to me before we met that they were overweight. It was their disclosure, not my demand. They did it to avoid another rejection. It was their choice. From my perspective, what they did made sense. While I don't think it makes sense for anyone to think such a thing should be a requirement, I would recommend anyone who lacks PK's self-confidence to consider it, because you likely won't feel good if some hot twentysomething won't even let you pay them to roll in the sheets with you.

 

It is my 100% belief that any escort that has a performance issue with a client for whatever reason, that burden of disclosure should 100% fall on the escort and not the client. That's right, put it in your ad. No gingers. No fatties. No baldies. No bears. No minorities. No whatever the hell you have a problem with. That's right, own it, wear your "preferences" as you like to call them as a badge of honor, and stop blaming the clients for your performance issues or forcing them to take ultra critical looks at themselves and develop as Mr. Corndog put so eloquently self-confidence issues just to make you feel better about your own prejudices aka "preferences"

 

Somehow the idea got mixed into here that an escort's "prejudice" = their inability to perform = blaming the client. Given that set of assumptions, I agree completely with the statement: it's completely shitty for an escort who is prejudiced to blame their inability to "perform" on the client that is the object of their prejudice. That's a no brainer. But that's not even close to what the original question asked. It was a simple question that said nothing at all about any escort's performance.

 

If the issue is about the interaction of being overweight and self-confidence, I actually really don't see how having lots of escorts plaster words like "no fatties" over their ads does anything to help anybody. The quote above actually equates this kind of statement of "preference" with "prejudice", which is in fact how I view it. I personally don't view "no fatties" or "no blacks" as disclosure. I view it as discrimination. It doesn't make sense to me that saying "no minorities" or "no fatties" can in any way be equated by anyone as "a badge of honor." It's actually kind of fucked up.

 

Does anybody really want to argue that the sign "No Irish Need Apply" ever made Irish people feel good?

 

I actually feel sorry for escorts who are largely intolerant of imperfection, because they are in the wrong line of work. Obviously they must feel a conflict between what they want - money - and what they can barely tolerate - imperfection.

 

At the height of my career, I had such an experience in a Brazilian sauna I went to with the intention of hiring. I hired the hottest stud there, who was obviously straight and probably very new to selling himself. It honestly felt like touching me made him want to crawl out of his skin. It is interesting to be considered one of the best escorts around, and to have another man feel like it is a disease to touch you. He didn't get within a mile of an erection, and I pretty quickly decided it was better for both of us to just pay him and put him out of his misery. So I get what the issue is, even though I wasn't lacking in self confidence. I actually considered the experience a good lesson in humility. Being as stubborn as I am I decided to go back the next day, and try again, except the next day I made it very clear to several escorts I rejected that I was only interested in hiring an escort that was Gay. In fact, I didn't even have to make it that clear to the guy I hired, since he made it incredibly clear as soon as he saw me that he'd be quite happy to get paid to fuck the shit out of me. Which he did. Then we went to dinner, and he fucked me again just for the fun of it after dinner.

 

Everything about my experience suggests that being able to communicate about what you want and are into, respectfully, is a set up for success. Being unable to communicate about it or being insulting when you communicate about it is a set up for failure. Everyone has different communication styles, but I think those generalities are pretty true across the board.

Edited by stevenkesslar
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purplekow Grand Master

+ purplekow

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Geez, what made you think I was referring to you? I guess you must have a lot of self-confidence or something. ;) Anyhoo, yes I am lucky.

 

While I don't think it makes sense for anyone to think such a thing should be a requirement, I would recommend anyone who lacks PK's self-confidence to consider it, because you likely won't feel good if some hot twentysomething won't even let you pay them to roll in the sheets with you.

You missed the LOL after my initial statement. That stands for Large Old Lover There are a lot of us and for those men who hesitate to hire or otherwise take a risk because of it, I say DON'T. If you don't like your weight, you can change it. If you don't like yourself, at least most of the time, then you must change it.

Me and my cash would never be rejected by some hot twentysomething. First, look at me. Second, I do not hire twentysomething usually and if I did hire one, it would only one mature enough and experienced enough to give me a physical and mental run for my money. Those men care about their clients and providing an excellent service. So, once again Mr. Kessler, I have needed to reprimand you, I am just sorry I am not there to reprimand you in your favorite way, but give yourself a good hard slap on the ass when getting out of the shower the next time, and we will consider it even.

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Guy Fawkes Grand Master

Guy Fawkes

Posted
Posted

LOL (But one has to wonder if it's time for pizza yet?)

You missed the LOL after my initial statement. That stands for Large Old Lover There are a lot of us and for those men who hesitate to hire or otherwise take a risk because of it, I say DON'T. If you don't like your weight, you can change it. If you don't like yourself, at least most of the time, then you must change it.

Me and my cash would never be rejected by some hot twentysomething. First, look at me. Second, I do not hire twentysomething usually and if I did hire one, it would only one mature enough and experienced enough to give me a physical and mental run for my money. Those men care about their clients and providing an excellent service. So, once again Mr. Kessler, I have needed to reprimand you, I am just sorry I am not there to reprimand you in your favorite way, but give yourself a good hard slap on the ass when getting out of the shower the next time, and we will consider it even.

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sam.fitzpatrick Grand Master

+ sam.fitzpatrick

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I find it interesting that you use the word "disclose" in relation to yourself. To me, it speaks of shame and guilt. How about tweaking the sentence and use the word "share" instead?

 

I understand why you might interpret it that way, but I suspect my word choice is more a reflection of my career where I'm disclosing rather than sharing on a daily basis.

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Guy Fawkes Grand Master

Guy Fawkes

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I'm sorry, but I have to call PIZZA on both of you! Love you both, but I not ready to play potato patato today.

 

http://cdn.c.photoshelter.com/img-get2/I0000mNdM.UYLyes/fit=1000x750/naked-man-in-bed-with-a-pizza-box.jpg

I understand why you might interpret it that way, but I suspect my word choice is more a reflection of my career where I'm disclosing rather than sharing on a daily basis.
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stevenkesslar Grand Master

+ stevenkesslar

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So, once again Mr. Kessler, I have needed to reprimand you, I am just sorry I am not there to reprimand you in your favorite way, but give yourself a good hard slap on the ass when getting out of the shower the next time, and we will consider it even.

 

Ooh, I love it when you talk that way.

 

If you come to Palm Springs again next Spring you can do it yourself.

 

Just don't tell Bozo. He might get jealous. :rolleyes:

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Mocha Mentor

Mocha

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Posted

Just wondering how many others try to get some idea of who is on the other end before they meet a client. I recently started asking as the text appointments started become more standard, and I got tired of sitting around texting and running off to meet someone not knowing anything about the person. People ask, "are you available?" But, available where? For whom? Who am I meeting? Are you man or woman, legal age?? People seem to be oblivious to the fact that we have no idea who they are, and it's up to me to find out. Most people are okay with it, and sometimes even send a pic.

 

However, I sent the same response today, along with 2 other questions I ask and got a snarky reply back about "if I'm concerned about their looks", to forget it. My reply was that I ask everyone that, but you can call so I atleast have a voice to go by.

 

Example stats would be: 5'11, 170, insert race (which I don't exclude any, but still helps), and age...followed by what the person is interested in.

 

The most important thing here, is its not about looks or being picky. But just like lawyers, personal trainers and apartment rental agents do brief consultations, so can escorts. It's just that our consultations involve physical attributes. I think we all have a right to know who we're meeting.

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rocky Experienced

rocky

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Posted

Yes I am a fat boy; 61 year old pudgy...no I'm not going to be politically correct, I'm a 5'6" guy at 250 pounds. That being said, I make that known to any request for services I ask. There are some that say no problem and also some that are hustlers that don't care unless they get the money; but I look forward to someone who wants to have some fun and not be afraid of my largeness or some would say you're not that large.

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