Escort questions

[dannyboynyc]

The "not a cop" thread reminded me of this situation -

 

I recently noticed an ad on RentMen for a guy who seemed very interesting. We emailed back and forth a bit and seemed like this would be a match - a fun time. I was about to violate a few of my own hiring rules - hire someone without a review on Daddy's site, not have a voice conversation first. In this case I was willing to make an exception.

 

The day before we met he asked about my STD status. The question was not about HIV status but STD status. Personally, I would never engage in sex with another person if I knew I had an active STD. Looking at a larger picture, I thought this is a weird question. If a person does not have an STD or does now know he's got an STD, the answer is no. If a person knows he has an STD, I'm assuming most guys who can afford to hire escorts on RentMen or RentBoy would get it treated.

 

Is my assumption wrong - am I giving too much credit to those who hire?

 

My personal conclusion is this guy is a new escort. My experience with guys new in the business has not been good, so I cancelled.

 

Thoughts?

[down_to_business]

A broad based question covering all things? I dunno. Wouldn't have bothered me, but if it bothered you, you were right to cancel.

[Steven_Draker]

The day before we met he asked about my STD status. The question was not about HIV status but STD status. Personally, I would never engage in sex with another person if I knew I had an active STD. Looking at a larger picture, I thought this is a weird question. If a person does not have an STD or does now know he's got an STD, the answer is no. If a person knows he has an STD, I'm assuming most guys who can afford to hire escorts on RentMen or RentBoy would get it treated.

 

Right.

 

When was the last time you got tested for STIs?

[Rudynate]

The "not a cop" thread reminded me of this situation -

 

I recently noticed an ad on RentMen for a guy who seemed very interesting. We emailed back and forth a bit and seemed like this would be a match - a fun time. I was about to violate a few of my own hiring rules - hire someone without a review on Daddy's site, not have a voice conversation first. In this case I was willing to make an exception.

 

The day before we met he asked about my STD status. The question was not about HIV status but STD status. Personally, I would never engage in sex with another person if I knew I had an active STD. Looking at a larger picture, I thought this is a weird question. If a person does not have an STD or does now know he's got an STD, the answer is no. If a person knows he has an STD, I'm assuming most guys who can afford to hire escorts on RentMen or RentBoy would get it treated.

 

Is my assumption wrong - am I giving too much credit to those who hire?

 

My personal conclusion is this guy is a new escort. My experience with guys new in the business has not been good, so I cancelled.

 

Thoughts?

 

 

I would have assumed he was talking about HIV status and told him what it was and when I was last tested. If he wanted more information I would have given it to him if I had it.

[doitb4ugo]

Agree with Steven on this one..The question was to determine if you knew your status regarding STDs. An awful lot of men do not know and as such are much ore of a concern than those who are regularly tested. Being HIV+, I have a full panel done every 3-4 months so I always know my viral load/CD4 counts as well as having been treated for any other STD that needs treating. Fairly clean for being considered "dirty". Latest stat on HIV suggests that as many as 20% of men with HIV do not know it.

[+ Gar1eth]

I go to a free clinic every 3 to 6 months. They will do HIV as well as oral/anal GC and chlamydia testing. They also test for hepatitis and maybe herpes antibodies. They don't do urine GC/Chlamydia testing. They say that you should have symptoms if you have this, and they don't have the funding for this type of testing.

 

Gman

[Nvr2Thick]

He may have just had a prior STI experience and was hoping to avoid repeating it. His question may be nothing more than naivite - asking in the hope that if you did have an STI you would tell him. Yes, it comes off as being naive, but it's not really much different than clients who assume someone who advertises as "safe only" and says they don't bareback, do not, in fact, bareback.

 

It could be that the escort is not depending entirely on his clients telling the truth. It's probably a small subset, but he might be able to detect the clients who know they have an STI and who don't bother to disclose. The casual sex culture is full of people who don't tell and don't ask. When it comes to HIV, for example, I think that there are a lot of HIV+ guys who bareback don't bother to proactively disclose HIV status because they assume that their sex partners understand the risks.

 

When I surf Craigslist for hookups I see a lot of this. A guy I met said he's surprised by the response he gets when he asks his hookup partners for "stats". For him stats means age, height, weight, waist, build, dick size, discretion, and DDF status. He expects that guys lie about their status, or lie and say they know their status when they don't get any sort of screening. What he didn't expect was people who have disclosed HIV or even herpes when he asked, but who probably wouldn't have mentioned it if he hadn't brought it up.

[dannyboynyc]

Right.

 

When was the last time you got tested for STIs?

 

I get tested every six months - my last test was about four months ago.

[rvwnsd]

I get tested every six months - my last test was about four months ago.

Did you share that information with him?

 

In answer to your original question, I think there is nothing wrong/weird about his question nor do i think he is naive.

[+ azdr0710]

I agree with rvwnsd.....in this age of barebacking, AIDs, etc., he probably is just doing his "due diligence" and trying to appear aware....though any client's status can be fudged, he is doing what he can.....he may be new and nervous, too....

[thickornotatall]

seriously...consider everyone to be lying...unless you have access to a current test report...and that probably won't happen

[+ purplekow]

The "not a cop" thread reminded me of this situation -

 

I recently noticed an ad on RentMen for a guy who seemed very interesting. We emailed back and forth a bit and seemed like this would be a match - a fun time. I was about to violate a few of my own hiring rules - hire someone without a review on Daddy's site, not have a voice conversation first. In this case I was willing to make an exception.

 

The day before we met he asked about my STD status. The question was not about HIV status but STD status. Personally, I would never engage in sex with another person if I knew I had an active STD. Looking at a larger picture, I thought this is a weird question. If a person does not have an STD or does now know he's got an STD, the answer is no. If a person knows he has an STD, I'm assuming most guys who can afford to hire escorts on RentMen or RentBoy would get it treated.

 

Is my assumption wrong - am I giving too much credit to those who hire?

 

My personal conclusion is this guy is a new escort. My experience with guys new in the business has not been good, so I cancelled.

 

Thoughts?

It seems to me you were breaking a few of your personal rules and that you may have been a bit nervous about the meet as a result. This question, in and of itself is innocent. Makes me think that you are still questioning the wisdom of the meeting and are kind of looking for an excuse not to go through with it. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, but sometimes it is not.

[Wolfer]

Slightly off-topic: I wish I had a clinic to go to. While we have healthcare and routine sti testing can be done at virtually no cost by just asking a regular doctor, it's clear the doctors themselves don't always have enough knowledge about how sti's can be transferred.

I had a clamydia scare recently and went to the doctor and he got me tested and then said that next time I should wear a condom. I told him that I had and immediately he said that oh, then, that's fine, it'll probably won't be an sti, just a general inflammation. And I'm sitting there, thinking: ever heard of oral?

It would seem to me that people at a clinic, coming into contact with this subject matter everyday, would be more knowledgeable about all the ways sti's can be transmitted.

Now, don't get me wrong, while I feel we have an excellent healthcare system (I live in Europe), I found the sources on safer sex, sti's and how to get tested properly seriously lacking where I live.

(It turned out that I was, in fact, completely sti free. But the inflammation hasn't cleared up yet after four weeks and a round of anti-biotics. I'm now waiting to see a specialist as my doctor doesn't know what could be causing it).

[+ Gar1eth]

Slightly off-topic: I wish I had a clinic to go to. While we have healthcare and routine sti testing can be done at virtually no cost by just asking a regular doctor, it's clear the doctors themselves don't always have enough knowledge about how sti's can be transferred.

I had a clamydia scare recently and went to the doctor and he got me tested and then said that next time I should wear a condom. I told him that I had and immediately he said that oh, then, that's fine, it'll probably won't be an sti, just a general inflammation. And I'm sitting there, thinking: ever heard of oral?

It would seem to me that people at a clinic, coming into contact with this subject matter everyday, would be more knowledgeable about all the ways sti's can be transmitted.

Now, don't get me wrong, while I feel we have an excellent healthcare system (I live in Europe), I found the sources on safer sex, sti's and how to get tested properly seriously lacking where I live.

(It turned out that I was, in fact, completely sti free. But the inflammation hasn't cleared up yet after four weeks and a round of anti-biotics. I'm now waiting to see a specialist as my doctor doesn't know what could be causing it).

 

Are there not any special community clinics that deal with STI's-not just the routine health clinic-where you live?

 

There are reputable websites here in the USA like www.cdc.gov where you can look up factual information if you need help.

 

Gman

[Wolfer]

Thanks for the suggestion! There seems to be one in a city near where I live. Though they strongly advise on their website that it isn't a general clinic and focus almost exclusively on higher risk minorities like immigrants from countries that have high hiv infection rates and gay and bi men. I'm gay, so I should be fine to go, yeah?

I've got an appointment with a specialist next week at a regular clinic, so I'll see what the diagnosis is there and take it from there.

 

But the absolute lack of clear info on sti's and ways these can be transferred where I live made me quite angry... I really had to hunt for any info and even that left me confused. We have a national non-profit organisation wholly devoted to educating gay men on safer sex, but their website is a mess. I felt like calling up a guy working there (we used to be on the same swim team) and just giving him a third degree on everything sexual. That'd be a fun topic for a dinner date.

 

The reason I went looking for info is that I haven't been sexually active for years (was in a long term monogomaus relationship, and my libido was... Well, dormant). We've recently seperated so I wanted to be fully educated before I put myself out there.

[jawjateck]

I do not consider a question about my health status to be "weird", but it is uncommon. I'm a hiring slut (just ask Okie), been there done that.......a lot, with well-reviewed pros, porn stars, along with unknowns, newbies, students, strippers, soldiers....you name it......and to my recollection, no one has ever asked about my health status.

[dannyboynyc]

Did you share that information with him?

 

In answer to your original question, I think there is nothing wrong/weird about his question nor do i think he is naive.

 

In retrospect, and reading responses to this string, if the question had been "how often to you get tested for STDs" or "when was the last time you got tested for STDs", I may have reacted differently. The question was, "std status??" It could be that there was a misinterpretation in this bit of email shorthand. The first thought that hit me is, "Why would any reasonable person knowingly have an STD and not be getting it treated?"

[dannyboynyc]

seriously...consider everyone to be lying...unless you have access to a current test report...and that probably won't happen

 

That's the other reason I wondered about this question - what's to say the answer is the truth.

[dannyboynyc]

It seems to me you were breaking a few of your personal rules and that you may have been a bit nervous about the meet as a result. This question, in and of itself is innocent. Makes me think that you are still questioning the wisdom of the meeting and are kind of looking for an excuse not to go through with it. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, but sometimes it is not.

 

Looking back on this, you have a point. There were a series of emails between us. They started with likes, compatibility etc. Then I sensed nervousness on his part, which made me think about breaking my hiring rules, and the final email was enough the question everything.

[jakeleyman]

I would be more likely to hire a guy who queries others about health issues than less likely.

[rvwnsd]

In retrospect, and reading responses to this string, if the question had been "how often to you get tested for STDs" or "when was the last time you got tested for STDs", I may have reacted differently. The question was, "std status??"..."

 

My guess is he used "std status" as shorthand and/or as a means to include viruses such as HIV and genital herpes.

 

I would be more likely to hire a guy who queries others about health issues than less likely.

 

Agreed!!

[Steven_Draker]

In retrospect, and reading responses to this string, if the question had been "how often to you get tested for STDs" or "when was the last time you got tested for STDs", I may have reacted differently. The question was, "std status??" It could be that there was a misinterpretation in this bit of email shorthand.

 

I agree. The way the question was formulated may appear off. I haven't heard of "STD status" before.

 

I know about "HIV status", "What's your status?" or "Are you clean?"

 

 

... no one has ever asked about my health status.

 

In my experience, several guys volunteered ahead of time the information that they were HIV positive.

 

Myself, I get asked the question about my health status often and I don't find it weird or unusual at all. My last full panel STD test was in early August 2015. I went to a clinic that is specialized in STI, because my regular doctor can do a blood test, but not the full panel.

 

Regular STD testing is necessary because one can be a carrier without having any symptoms.

 

Test early. Test often.

 

Steven ~

Twitter PlanetRomeo Reviews

[+ Keith30309]

Christ - an escort I have seen several times has posted a BB video on his RM ad, which still says "Safe Only".

[+ WmClarke]

Christ - an escort I have seen several times has posted a BB video on his RM ad, which still says "Safe Only".

"Do as I say, not as I do."

[jimboivyo]

Christ - an escort I have seen several times has posted a BB video on his RM ad, which still says "Safe Only".

 

it's a problem when someone can't practice what they preach

 

tons of that in this biz. while you should always wrap it up, I also say hold those accountable who say they play safe but do other wise